The Rewatchables: ‘The Texas Chain Saw Massacre’ With Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan

Published 2026-10-06; 1:39:40 by the feed.

As extracted (engineer-sonnet-2026-10-13)

The extraction calls the show “The Rewatchables (The Ringer)” and the episode “'The Texas Chain Saw Massacre' With Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan”.

Hosts: Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan. Guests: Craig Horlbeck.

Subject films: The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974).

On the transcript: Auto transcript has no speaker labels and many garbled names and jokes, and some intros and ad copy at the top are mangled. Nominal speaker attribution is mostly guesswork between Bill, Chris and Craig.

Awards and segments (69)

Double feature

pick The Last House on the Left: Equally disturbing, so not a good night, but an interesting snapshot of movie history.
“I'll probably go last house on the left, although it is equally disturbing, so I don't think it would be like, it wouldn't, it wouldn't be a good night, but it is an interesting snapshot in movie history.”
unknown · 1:30:52
pick Halloween: To compare and contrast how much Halloween borrowed from Chainsaw.
“I went Halloween just to compare and contrast like how much Halloween, crib done, chainsaw, all that stuff.”
unknown · 1:31:20
pick Deliverance: Another road trip gone wrong in the backcountry.
“I went deliverance.”
unknown · 1:31:14

Most rewatchable scene

pick Kirk getting killed, and the lead-up to Leatherface bursting out of the metal door
“However, my most rewatchable scene is Kirk getting killed. and they'll lead up to that.”
Bill Simmons · 0:45:07
floated The ending: Sally screaming in the truck bed while Leatherface waves the chainsaw at dawn
“Her face covered in blood, screaming, and him screaming back, waving a chainsaw, and the dawn sun is just like,”
Bill Simmons · 0:44:46
floated The opening crawl, credits, and graveyard shot
“I'm not gonna say the opening is a rewatchable scene, but I do really like it.”
Bill Simmons · 0:32:34
floated The hitchhiker joining the van
“First thing, the hitchhiker joining the van.”
Bill Simmons · 0:33:09

Best production story · The most unbelievable anecdote from the making of the film.

winner The 30-hour dinner scene shoot in 100-degree heat: Cast passed out and puked outside while shooting the dinner scene.
“Which they then did for the next 30 hours in a 100 degree, uh, summer heat.”
unknown · 0:25:18

Peter North Award · Most effort put into a movie.

winner Marilyn Burns as Sally Hardesty: Screams for 30 minutes, does her own stunts, real cuts.
“The Peter North Award, most effort put into a movie?”
unknown · 0:27:31

Ebert Review · The reading of Roger Ebert's review.

pick The Texas Chain Saw Massacre: Two stars; Ebert called it a weird achievement but without apparent purpose.
“Roger Ebert, 2 stars.”
unknown · 0:31:18

Todd Parker Award · Best character entrance.

winner Leatherface's first appearance through the metal door
“I'm going to give this the Todd Parker word for best character entrance.”
Bill Simmons · 0:36:48

Dion Waiters Award · Small role, big impact.

winner Gas station window washer: Bill had flagged him earlier as a Dion Waiters candidate.
“Watching the windshield guy.”
Bill Simmons · 1:07:58
nominee Grandpa
“I can either offer you grandpa or gas station washing the windshield guy.”
Bill Simmons · 1:07:55

Most 1974 Thing · The most 1974 thing about the movie.

nominee The hitchhiker's Polaroid camera with flashbulb attachment
“I could offer you the Polaroid camera?”
unknown · 0:45:28
nominee Calling a girlfriend your old lady
“Calling someone's girlfriend your old lady?”
unknown · 0:45:53
winner Hitchhikers
“And then, uh, I think the winner is just hitchhikers.”
Bill Simmons · 0:46:09

Flood Gundali · Something the host just enjoys about the movie.

pick Kids on a normal road trip where something abnormal happens
“Kids on a normal road trip where something abnormal happens.”
Chris Ryan · 0:47:58
pick Leatherface's run and demeanor: Compares Leatherface's run to Warren in There's Something About Mary.
“I have leatherface moves and acts like Warren and there's something about Mary.”
Bill Simmons · 0:48:03
pick A slaughterhouse as a horror location
“Slaughterhouse is in a horror movie.”
unknown · 0:48:38

What Aged the Best · What has aged the best.

pick The We Slaughter Barbecue sign
“Oh, we slaughter barbecue sign?”
unknown · 0:50:07
pick The poster
“The poster of this has aged incredibly well.”
unknown · 0:51:16
pick Daniel Pearl's cinematography
“Uh, I think Daniel Pearl cinematography is like, easily the best aspect of this movie.”
unknown · 0:51:58
pick The film as a rich text that says something about its time
“I would also say what's age the best is the fact that this movie is such a rich text.”
unknown · 0:53:19

Great Shot Award · Best shot.

winner The last shot, Sally in the truck bed at dawn
“covered it the last shot.”
unknown · 0:53:52
pick Pam walking toward the house under the swing: Played for a joke about long shots of her backside.
“Under the swing.”
unknown · 0:53:56

Big Kahuna Burger · Best use of food or drink.

winner The human sausage
“Obviously the human sausage.”
unknown · 0:54:28
nominee Head cheese
“I was going to say maybe also just the discussion of head cheese,”
unknown · 0:54:30

Brock Landers Award · Best character name.

winner Leatherface
“It got to be Leatherface.”
unknown · 0:55:07

CR's Flex: He Got Game Hooker Scene · The most awkward scene to have someone randomly walk in on.

pick Pam getting thrown on the meat hook: Adds that the dinner scene would also need explaining.
“I'm gonna go with Pam getting thrown on the meat hook.”
Chris Ryan · 0:56:14

Den of Thieves Benihana Award (scene-stealing location) · Scene-stealing location.

pick The chicken room
“Um, I also had another one, which was just Den of Steve's Benihana scene stealing location for the chicken, the chicken room.”
Chris Ryan · 0:56:33

Butch's Girlfriend Award · The weak link of the film.

winner Franklin: Knows he is meant to be the weak one but finds him the worst hang.
“I absolutely hate Franklin.”
unknown · 0:56:56

What Aged the Worst · What has aged the worst, including expectations of a horror movie.

pick No nude scene, against horror-movie expectations
“She was very surprised there wasn't a nude scene.”
Bill Simmons · 0:58:56
pick The sound of the hammer hitting Kirk's skull
“I think that the sound that the hammer makes when it hits Kirk's skull is aged the worst”
unknown · 1:01:27

Vincent Hanna / Saul Rubinek Overacting Award · Best overacting, thrillers and horror only.

winner The hitchhiker
“Probably the hitchhiker?”
unknown · 1:01:43
nominee Gas station guy at dinner
“Gas station guy at dinner.”
unknown · 1:01:45

Hottest Take · A host's hottest take on the film.

pick The hitchhiker is scarier than Leatherface
“This guy is scarier than Leatherface.”
unknown · 0:33:36
pick Go back to nightmare shoots: Wants harder shoots, with waivers, for better performances.
“I think we need to go back to nightmare shoots. Movie shoots.”
Craig Horlbeck · 1:04:45
pick Leatherface was the victim: Leatherface is just defending his home.
“My hat is take.”
Bill Simmons · 1:06:03

Casting What Ifs · Almost-castings and recasts.

pick A 1974 star cast: Jeff Bridges, Rob Reiner, Ron Howard, Penny Marshall, Goldie Hawn as the final girl
“Jeff Bridges, Rob Reiner and Ron Howard, maybe Rob Reiners in the wheelchair.”
Bill Simmons · 1:08:29
pick Tom Hanks as a guy in the van: Tom Cruise floated as the hitchhiker.
“I have Hanks is one of the dudes in the van.”
unknown · 1:16:54

Dennis Peck Relationship Test · Could a charming character talk their way out of the house.

pick Dennis Peck: Wonders if Peck could have charmed the family.
“Dennis Peck relationship test.”
Craig Horlbeck · 1:08:58

Apex Mountain · Where parts of the film sit on the mountain of their genre.

winner The Texas Chain Saw Massacre and The Blair Witch Project, as indie horror
“Indie horror movies?”
unknown · 1:14:10
pick Laurie Strode as the most iconic final girl; Sally the most underrated
“I think Lori's a more iconic final girl, ultimately.”
unknown · 1:14:19
winner Michael Myers as top movie murderer: Leatherface called a schedule merchant by comparison.
“I think the answer is probably Myers because of the body of work.”
unknown · 1:16:11
winner The 1972 Ford Club Wagon van
“I'm going to say Apex man for that.”
unknown · 1:16:45

Hans Gruber Scale · Villain ranking on the Hans Gruber scale.

pick Leatherface
“I have Leatherface has to be a 10 out of 10.”
unknown · 1:18:26

Borat Zag Rancid Body Award · Worst body odor.

winner Leatherface: Gunnar Hansen wore one shirt for four weeks.
“Body Odor Award also goes to Leatherface.”
unknown · 1:18:36
nominee Grandfather
“The grandfather.”
unknown · 1:19:06

Picking Nits · Nitpicks of a film they love.

pick Why not just drive away in the truck at the end
“Still not sure why he didn't just drive away in the truck.”
unknown · 0:44:07
pick Would you survive being lifted onto a meat hook
“Would you die right away if you were lifted onto a metal hook?”
unknown · 1:19:47
pick The van's lights left on after the hitchhiker leaves
“They just leave it on, like morons.”
unknown · 1:20:19
pick Pam reading the zodiac book right after the hitchhiker
“Pam immediately starts reading the zodiac book.”
unknown · 1:21:49
pick Leatherface's chainsaw never seems to run out of gas
“That thing's running for 12 hours.”
unknown · 1:22:14
pick Sudden traffic on the dirt road at the end
“Why is there suddenly traffic on this dirt road?”
unknown · 1:22:28
pick Sally could have used more evasive moves
“Sally could have put some more evasive moves on him.”
Craig Horlbeck · 1:22:56

Sequel, Prequel, Streamer, Spinoff, Remake, Untouchable · What to do with the franchise.

pick The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2: Rumor of a Curry Barker reboot noted.
“Two is awesome.”
unknown · 1:23:35

Zihuatanejo Award (what happened the next day) · What happened to the characters after the film.

pick Sally in a coma, per the sequel
“Canonically, Sally is like basically in a coma.”
unknown · 1:26:16
pick Sally dead of a cocaine overdose by 1976
“I wrote down Sally was definitely dead of a cocaine overdose by 1976”
unknown · 1:26:34
pick Stephen A. Smith doing Straight Shooter after the murders
“Stephen A. Smith doing straight shooter, the next day after the chainsaw murderers.”
unknown · 1:25:12

Unanswered Questions · Questions the film leaves open.

pick Where did the truck driver go
“Where did the truck driver go?”
unknown · 1:26:49
pick The film's effect on hitchhiking
“I mean, I mentioned this, but the impact this movie must have had on hitchhiking.”
unknown · 1:28:07
pick Marilyn Burns as Sally Hardesty: Why no cause of death was given.
“So what happened, Marilyn Burns is your question?”
unknown · 1:28:48
pick Which death you would want: Kirk's, not Pam's
“I would least want to be Pam.”
unknown · 1:29:52

Memorabilia · A prop they would own.

pick The original chainsaw
“But I think the original chainsaw would be an amazing.”
unknown · 1:30:13
pick The hitchhiker's pouch of pictures
“the hitchhiker's little pouch that he had.”
unknown · 1:30:18
pick The We Slaughter Barbecue sign
“With the pictures and the sign, the we slaughter barbecue would be a good one.”
unknown · 1:30:23

Best Worst Life Lesson · Best or worst life lesson.

pick Don't pick up hitchhikers
“But I think the real lesson is don't pick up hitchhikers.”
unknown · 1:30:45
pick Always have a full tank
“Yeah, we're always have a full tank.”
unknown · 1:30:47

Who Won the Movie · Who came out ahead from the movie.

winner Toby Hooper: Went on to the Universal lot and Poltergeist.
“Hooper?”
unknown · 1:31:26

Films that came up

Claims (48)

unmapped (admirer): The Texas Chain Saw Massacre → Quentin Tarantino. Tarantino wrote that Chainsaw is one of the few perfect movies ever made.
“To me, the Texas Chainsaw Massacre is one of the few perfect movies ever made.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The Texas Chain Saw Massacre’ With Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan · 0:00:56 · Bill Simmons (0.50 sure it was them)
unmapped (indie legacy): The Texas Chain Saw Massacre → Paranormal Activity. Chainsaw invented the no-money, unknown-actors, one-idea indie horror run that Halloween, Blair Witch and Paranormal Activity followed.
“This, Halloween, Blur Witch, paranormal activity. We have no money. You don't know these actors.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The Texas Chain Saw Massacre’ With Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan · 0:02:31 · Chris Ryan (0.50 sure it was them)
lineage (ancestor): The Texas Chain Saw Massacre → Halloween. Halloween felt like it invented modern horror, but on rewatch Chainsaw is the real ground zero.
“whenever I watch Chainsaw, I'm like, no, actually this is ground zero.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The Texas Chain Saw Massacre’ With Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan · 0:03:01 · Bill Simmons (0.50 sure it was them)
lineage (inspiration): The Texas Chain Saw Massacre → Night of the Living Dead. Hooper saw the line down the block for Night of the Living Dead and decided to make a horror film with his own ideas about Vietnam-era America.
“Toby Hooper, who directed Chainsaw Massacre, went and saw Night of the Living Dead.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The Texas Chain Saw Massacre’ With Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan · 0:03:15 · Chris Ryan (0.55 sure it was them)
unmapped (template): The Texas Chain Saw Massacre → Friday the 13th. The imposing masked killer and the final girl in Chainsaw became the slasher template Friday the 13th and Halloween used.
“We have that, that ends up in Halloween, Friday the 13th, everything else.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The Texas Chain Saw Massacre’ With Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan · 0:04:06 · Chris Ryan (0.50 sure it was them)
unmapped (horror boom): The Texas Chain Saw Massacre → Resident Evil. Horror is Hollywood's new singles and doubles; Backrooms, Resident Evil and Obsession are the year's successes.
“The new singles and doubles of Hollywood is horror.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The Texas Chain Saw Massacre’ With Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan · 0:06:27 · Chris Ryan (0.60 sure it was them)
unmapped (final girl prototype): The Texas Chain Saw Massacre → Friday the 13th. Sally is the ground-zero prototype final girl later ripped off in every Friday the 13th and most Halloween movies.
“she's the prototype ground 0 final girl that then gets ripped off.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The Texas Chain Saw Massacre’ With Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan · 0:06:46 · Chris Ryan (0.50 sure it was them)
unmapped (gimmick): The Texas Chain Saw Massacre → Thanksgiving. Slasher gimmicks (Freddy, Chucky, Orphan, Thanksgiving) are compared with Leatherface.
“I thought that Thanksgiving that came out a couple years ago. I thought that guy had a good gimmick.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The Texas Chain Saw Massacre’ With Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan · 0:09:28 · Bill Simmons (0.45 sure it was them)
unmapped (no backstory): Gunnar Hansen → Halloween. Leatherface is favored over Myers and Jason because he gets no origin story and is at once realistic and inexplicable.
“he's at once the most realistic and human, but is also the least explicable”
The Rewatchables · ‘The Texas Chain Saw Massacre’ With Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan · 0:09:34 · Chris Ryan (0.60 sure it was them)
unmapped (unintentional comedy): Gunnar Hansen → The Silence of the Lambs. Leatherface's unintentional comedy scores 98 on a 100 scale, just behind Buffalo Bill at 100.
“If Buffalo Bill is a 100 at a 100, Leatherface is like a 98.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The Texas Chain Saw Massacre’ With Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan · 0:10:19 · Bill Simmons (0.50 sure it was them)
unmapped (Texas dread): The Texas Chain Saw Massacre → Nocturnal Animals. Nocturnal Animals touches the same fear of a long empty road in the wrong part of Texas.
“There was a great movie a couple years ago called Nocturnal Animals that Tom Ford directed that kind of touches into this”
The Rewatchables · ‘The Texas Chain Saw Massacre’ With Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan · 0:11:01 · Chris Ryan (0.55 sure it was them)
theme (1970s genre birth): The Texas Chain Saw Massacre → Dirty Harry. Chainsaw is one of eight 1970s films (Dirty Harry, Deep Throat, Last House, Godfather II, Jaws, Rocky, Star Wars, Superman) that spawned the next 50 years of genres.
“if you just go those 8 movies, that's kind of what would become the next 50 years of movies.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The Texas Chain Saw Massacre’ With Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan · 0:14:53 · Bill Simmons (0.55 sure it was them)
unmapped (70s realism): The Texas Chain Saw Massacre → Jaws. Like Jaws, the 70s films feel true to life because of location shooting and actors who look like real locals.
“All those people in Jaws, you're just like, you are, you do live in in this town.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The Texas Chain Saw Massacre’ With Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan · 0:15:56 · Chris Ryan (0.60 sure it was them)
industry (marketing precedent): The Texas Chain Saw Massacre → The Blair Witch Project. The 'based on true events' opening was smart and was ripped off by Blair Witch in 1999, pre-internet.
“We didn't know any better in 1999.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The Texas Chain Saw Massacre’ With Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan · 0:17:13 · Bill Simmons (0.50 sure it was them)
lineage (real-life source): Ed Gein → The Texas Chain Saw Massacre. The film was a little influenced by Ed Gein, whose skin masks and grave digging fascinated Hollywood.
“it was a little influenced by the great Ed Geen.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The Texas Chain Saw Massacre’ With Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan · 0:17:18 · Chris Ryan (0.45 sure it was them)
lineage (real-life source): Ed Gein → The Silence of the Lambs. Ed Gein had a big Hollywood footprint; Silence of the Lambs and Manhunter touched on him.
“A lot of people, silence the lambs, touched on Ed Geen.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The Texas Chain Saw Massacre’ With Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan · 0:19:05 · Bill Simmons (0.50 sure it was them)
lineage (real-life source): Ed Gein → Manhunter. Manhunter and the Hannibal Lecter material also draw on Gein.
“I mean, Manhunter.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The Texas Chain Saw Massacre’ With Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan · 0:19:23 · Chris Ryan (0.45 sure it was them)
theme (final girl comparison): Marilyn Burns → Jamie Lee Curtis. What Burns endured is thousands of times worse than what Curtis went through at the end of Halloween.
“this is like 3000 times worse.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The Texas Chain Saw Massacre’ With Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan · 0:28:12 · Chris Ryan (0.50 sure it was them)
craft (craft): Tobe Hooper → Marilyn Burns. A speaker says Hooper's taste for buxom women made casting Burns an easy call.
“my favorite Marilyn Burns anecdote aside from, um, the, the bit about like Toby Hooper, uh, enjoyed buxom women.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The Texas Chain Saw Massacre’ With Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan · 0:29:04 · Chris Ryan (0.30 sure it was them)
unmapped (peer cluster): The Texas Chain Saw Massacre → The Last House on the Left. Ebert said Chainsaw belongs with Night of the Living Dead and Last House on the Left as films better than the genre required; also listed as indie-horror example in the 70s genre run.
“it belongs with 9 Living Dead, last house to the left, films that are really a lot better than the genre required.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The Texas Chain Saw Massacre’ With Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan · 0:31:32 · Bill Simmons (0.50 sure it was them)
contrast (contrast): The Texas Chain Saw Massacre → In Cold Blood. Ebert contrasted the film with true-crime In Cold Blood, which studied the killers' compulsions; Chainsaw has no motivation or background, just terror.
“A true crime movie like Richard Brooks is in cold blood, which studies the personalities and compulsions of the 2 killers”
The Rewatchables · ‘The Texas Chain Saw Massacre’ With Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan · 0:31:47 · Chris Ryan (0.50 sure it was them)
craft (craft): Robert A. Burns → The Texas Chain Saw Massacre. The art director's scavenged animal parts and bones built the chicken room, called maybe the creepiest room in horror history.
“there's a lot of research about the, uh, the art director, just going around Texas and picking up decomposing animal parts”
The Rewatchables · ‘The Texas Chain Saw Massacre’ With Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan · 0:37:47 · Bill Simmons (0.35 sure it was them)
lineage (rip-off): Friday the 13th → The Texas Chain Saw Massacre. The final girl running to Jason's mom for help copies Sally running to the gas station guy.
“Friday the 13th rips it off.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The Texas Chain Saw Massacre’ With Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan · 0:41:15 · Chris Ryan (0.50 sure it was them)
craft (last shot): The Texas Chain Saw Massacre → Halloween. Chainsaw's last shot is an all-time ending, rivaled only by Halloween's empty Myers shots; Chainsaw is judged better.
“It's an all-time greatest last shot other than possibly Halloween, Myers not being there at the end.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The Texas Chain Saw Massacre’ With Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan · 0:44:34 · Bill Simmons (0.50 sure it was them)
unmapped (hitchhiking): The Texas Chain Saw Massacre → Diary of a Teenage Hitchhiker. Bill thinks the ABC TV movie Diary of a Teenage Hitchhiker, not Chainsaw, was the final nail in hitchhiking.
“Diary of a Teenage Hitchhiker during the height of ABC TV movies in the 70s.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The Texas Chain Saw Massacre’ With Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan · 0:46:39 · Bill Simmons (0.50 sure it was them)
unmapped (physical comedy): The Texas Chain Saw Massacre → There's Something About Mary. Leatherface moves and runs like Warren, the character in There's Something About Mary.
“I have leatherface moves and acts like Warren and there's something about Mary.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The Texas Chain Saw Massacre’ With Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan · 0:48:03 · Craig Horlbeck (0.60 sure it was them)
lineage (inspiration): The Texas Chain Saw Massacre → Alien. Chainsaw is what inspired Ridley Scott to make Alien.
“Texas Chainsaw Basker is what inspired Ridley Scott to make alien.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The Texas Chain Saw Massacre’ With Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan · 0:51:40 · Chris Ryan (0.50 sure it was them)
unmapped (admirer): The Texas Chain Saw Massacre → Martin Scorsese. Scorsese, Spielberg, Tarantino and Friedkin all loved it.
“Scorsese loves this movie. Spielberg thought this movie was incredible”
The Rewatchables · ‘The Texas Chain Saw Massacre’ With Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan · 0:51:48 · Chris Ryan (0.60 sure it was them)
craft (craft): Daniel Pearl → The Texas Chain Saw Massacre. Pearl's cinematography is called the best aspect of the film, looking far better than the shoestring budget should allow.
“I think Daniel Pearl cinematography is like, easily the best aspect of this movie.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The Texas Chain Saw Massacre’ With Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan · 0:51:58 · Chris Ryan (0.40 sure it was them)
lineage (visual precursor): Daniel Pearl → Paris, Texas. Pearl's Southwest vistas feel like a precursor to Paris, Texas, mixed with handheld documentary style.
“part of it feels like, um, a precursor to like Paris, Texas”
The Rewatchables · ‘The Texas Chain Saw Massacre’ With Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan · 0:52:04 · Chris Ryan (0.55 sure it was them)
unmapped (feeling): The Texas Chain Saw Massacre → The Blair Witch Project. Craig says watching Chainsaw on VHS left him asking 'was that real?' the same way Blair Witch did.
“The same way I felt with Blair Witch, where I was like, was that real?”
The Rewatchables · ‘The Texas Chain Saw Massacre’ With Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan · 1:03:42 · Craig Horlbeck (0.80 sure it was them)
unmapped (feels real): The Texas Chain Saw Massacre → Green Room. Chainsaw scares because the evil is not supernatural, unlike Jason, Freddy, Myers or The Exorcist; Blair Witch and Green Room are the modern realistic ones.
“there's a bunch of movies that are scary, but this is, this scares me because it feels so real.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The Texas Chain Saw Massacre’ With Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan · 1:04:22 · Craig Horlbeck (0.70 sure it was them)
people (cast profit parallel): The Texas Chain Saw Massacre → Obsession. The cast not sharing in the profits recalls the Obsession set designer's complaint as that film took off.
“Kind of reminds me of what happened with obsession.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The Texas Chain Saw Massacre’ With Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan · 1:05:33 · Chris Ryan (0.50 sure it was them)
people (casting test): Dennis Peck → Internal Affairs. Craig's relationship test: could Internal Affairs' Dennis Peck have charmed Leatherface's family out of the house.
“You think Dennis could have gotten out of that house?”
The Rewatchables · ‘The Texas Chain Saw Massacre’ With Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan · 1:09:01 · Bill Simmons (0.40 sure it was them)
industry (financing): The Texas Chain Saw Massacre → Deep Throat. Chainsaw was financed by a mob-linked company that also did Deep Throat and needed to launder its profits.
“this company that also did Deep Throat and had money that needed to wash the money from Deep Throat”
The Rewatchables · ‘The Texas Chain Saw Massacre’ With Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan · 1:11:42 · Bill Simmons (0.50 sure it was them)
unmapped (equity screwing): The Texas Chain Saw Massacre → The Social Network. The cast being diluted out of their cut is the worst version of the Social Network equity scene.
“It was like the worst version of that social network scene”
The Rewatchables · ‘The Texas Chain Saw Massacre’ With Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan · 1:12:21 · Bill Simmons (0.50 sure it was them)
verdict (final girl ranking): Marilyn Burns → Halloween. Lori Strode is the more iconic final girl by body of work, and Ripley is up there; Sally is the underrated one.
“I think Lori's a more iconic final girl, ultimately.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The Texas Chain Saw Massacre’ With Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan · 1:14:19 · Bill Simmons (0.50 sure it was them)
verdict (underrated final girl): Friday the 13th Part 2 → The Texas Chain Saw Massacre. Bill nominates the Friday the 13th Part 2 girl as most underrated final girl, alongside Sally.
“I would say the girl on Friday the 13th part, too.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The Texas Chain Saw Massacre’ With Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan · 1:14:36 · Chris Ryan (0.40 sure it was them)
verdict (killer ranking): The Texas Chain Saw Massacre → Psycho. On the movie-murderer Mount Rushmore, Norman Bates and Lecter go up there; Bill picks Myers because of the body of work.
“I think the answer is probably Myers because of the body of work.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The Texas Chain Saw Massacre’ With Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan · 1:16:11 · Bill Simmons (0.50 sure it was them)
people (cast): Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation → Matthew McConaughey. The 1995 sequel starred Renee Zellweger and Matthew McConaughey; Kim Henkel, who wrote the original, wrote it.
“Texas Chainsaw Massacre, the next generation with Renee Zalweger and Matthew McConaughey.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The Texas Chain Saw Massacre’ With Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan · 1:23:13 · Bill Simmons (0.50 sure it was them)
lineage (sequel): Tobe Hooper → The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2. Hooper directed Part 2, which is completely different, more graphic and fun, with Sally in a coma and her uncle played by Dennis Hopper.
“It's completely different, but Toby Hooper directed it.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The Texas Chain Saw Massacre’ With Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan · 1:23:37 · Chris Ryan (0.50 sure it was them)
lineage (remake): Jessica Biel → The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Remake lineage: Next Generation, Biel reboot, Netflix influencer one, Leatherface (2017), and a rumored Curry Barker reboot with Glen Powell.
“Well, and now Curry Barker is rumored to be rebooting it.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The Texas Chain Saw Massacre’ With Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan · 1:24:09 · Bill Simmons (0.40 sure it was them)
people (cast): The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 → Dennis Hopper. In the sequel Sally's uncle, played by Dennis Hopper, goes looking for the family.
“And then her uncle played by Dennis Hopper.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The Texas Chain Saw Massacre’ With Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan · 1:26:25 · Chris Ryan (0.50 sure it was them)
programming (double feature): The Texas Chain Saw Massacre → The Last House on the Left. Chris picks Last House on the Left for a double feature as an equally disturbing snapshot of movie history.
“I'll probably go last house on the left, although it is equally disturbing”
The Rewatchables · ‘The Texas Chain Saw Massacre’ With Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan · 1:30:52 · Chris Ryan (0.60 sure it was them)
programming (double feature): The Texas Chain Saw Massacre → Deliverance. A guest pick for a double bill: road trip gone wrong.
“Oh, my God. Road trip gone wrong.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The Texas Chain Saw Massacre’ With Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan · 1:31:17 · Bill Simmons (0.40 sure it was them)
programming (double feature): The Texas Chain Saw Massacre → Halloween. Bill pairs it with Halloween to compare how much Halloween cribbed from Chainsaw.
“I went Halloween just to compare and contrast like how much Halloween, crib done, chainsaw, all that stuff.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The Texas Chain Saw Massacre’ With Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan · 1:31:20 · Bill Simmons (0.50 sure it was them)
career (career payoff): Tobe Hooper → Poltergeist. Hooper won the movie: after Chainsaw he was a Hollywood hot shot at Universal with Spielberg and directed Poltergeist.
“he had the best best career coming out of this.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The Texas Chain Saw Massacre’ With Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan · 1:31:28 · Chris Ryan (0.60 sure it was them)
unmapped (lesson): The Texas Chain Saw Massacre → Paranormal Activity. Chainsaw shows that with no budget and no actors, good taste and a good eye is enough, as with Blair Witch and Paranormal.
“if the director and probably the editor just have good taste. If they just have a good eye, anything can work.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The Texas Chain Saw Massacre’ With Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan · 1:34:17 · Chris Ryan (0.60 sure it was them)

Fun items (23)

fun, about The Texas Chain Saw Massacre: Leatherface's entrance: no music, a metal door opens, hammer to the head, convulsing like a fencer, a second hit, then the door slams. Chris and Bill call it one of the great scares and best character entrances.
“Metal door opens. The scariest guy you'll ever see in your life is just there.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The Texas Chain Saw Massacre’ With Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan · 0:05:16 · Chris Ryan (0.50 sure it was them)
fun, about Tobe Hooper: Origin legend: Hooper was in line at a hardware store and thought it would be amazing to grab a chainsaw and cut through the line. The hosts debate whether it was that or Watergate and Vietnam, and settle on both.
“He was in line in a hardware store going, man, it would be so cool to grab one of those chainsaws and just cut through the line.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The Texas Chain Saw Massacre’ With Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan · 0:13:08 · Chris Ryan (0.50 sure it was them)
fun, about The Texas Chain Saw Massacre: Dinner scene shoot: John Dugan refused to redo 5-hour grandpa makeup, so they shot it all in 30 hours, 100 degrees, rotting food, blackout curtains, cast puking outside. Edwin Neal called it worse than Vietnam.
“filming that scene was the worst time of my life, and I had been in Vietnam with people trying to kill me.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The Texas Chain Saw Massacre’ With Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan · 0:25:46 · Bill Simmons (0.50 sure it was them)
fun, about Marilyn Burns: Burns got the Peter North Award for most effort: screams for 30 minutes, did her own stunts, jumped out two windows, real cuts, and her finger was actually cut for the grandpa scene.
“She does all of her own stunts. She jumps out of 2 windows.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The Texas Chain Saw Massacre’ With Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan · 0:27:40 · Chris Ryan (0.50 sure it was them)
fun, about The Texas Chain Saw Massacre: Hot take from Bill: the hitchhiker is scarier than Leatherface, because everyone has met someone fully gone in a bar who wants to show them a knife.
“This guy is scarier than Leatherface.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The Texas Chain Saw Massacre’ With Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan · 0:33:36 · Bill Simmons (0.50 sure it was them)
fun, about The Texas Chain Saw Massacre: Most rewatchable scene: Kirk getting killed, with the lead-up. Craig also points to the opening, the hitchhiker, the chicken room and the gas station.
“my most rewatchable scene is Kirk getting killed.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The Texas Chain Saw Massacre’ With Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan · 0:45:07 · Chris Ryan (0.40 sure it was them)
fun, about The Texas Chain Saw Massacre: Most 1974 thing: the hitchhiker's Polaroid with flashbulb, 'chain saw' as two words, 'old lady' for a girlfriend, and hitchhikers themselves.
“And then, uh, I think the winner is just hitchhikers.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The Texas Chain Saw Massacre’ With Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan · 0:46:09 · Bill Simmons (0.50 sure it was them)
fun, about The Texas Chain Saw Massacre: The We Slaughter Barbecue sign and the gas station aged best; the real gas station is now a horror-themed barbecue restaurant and motel in Texas.
“Oh, we slaughter barbecue sign?”
The Rewatchables · ‘The Texas Chain Saw Massacre’ With Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan · 0:50:07 · Bill Simmons (0.40 sure it was them)
fun, about The Texas Chain Saw Massacre: Facts: 83 minutes, 868 edits, one chainsaw, one outfit, a $60,000 shoot (later $125K budget with promotion); it made $31 million; Ebert gave it 2 stars.
“There are 868 edits and an 83 minute movie, which apparently is a lot.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The Texas Chain Saw Massacre’ With Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan · 0:51:34 · Bill Simmons (0.50 sure it was them)
fun, about Gunnar Hansen: Three Leatherface masks per Hansen: the killing mask, the old lady (domestic kitchen) mask, and the pretty woman mask worn to dinner, because in Texas you dress up for dinner.
“there was the killing mask. The old lady mask and pretty woman mask.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The Texas Chain Saw Massacre’ With Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan · 0:52:46 · Chris Ryan (0.50 sure it was them)
fun, about The Texas Chain Saw Massacre: Best character name: Leatherface, who is only ever named when his brother calls him Leatherface; title debates note the film nearly went by Head Cheese or Saturn's Return.
“They worked on Saturn's return.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The Texas Chain Saw Massacre’ With Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan · 0:55:36 · Chris Ryan (0.40 sure it was them)
fun, about Franklin: Bill's 'who we hate' pick: nobody is a worse hang than Franklin; Texas Monthly called him one of the most despicable handicapped people in film, the only one who almost deserves his death.
“I absolutely hate Franklin.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The Texas Chain Saw Massacre’ With Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan · 0:56:56 · Bill Simmons (0.50 sure it was them)
fun, about The Texas Chain Saw Massacre: Only one chainsaw death in the whole movie (Franklin), prompting the joke that it should be Texas Hammer Massacre.
“I mean, in some ways, Texas Hammer Massacre didn't go really the same.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The Texas Chain Saw Massacre’ With Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan · 1:00:45 · Bill Simmons (0.40 sure it was them)
fun, about The Texas Chain Saw Massacre: Bill's hottest take: Leatherface was the victim, just defending his property in his own house with a hobby of taxidermy.
“Leatherface was the victim.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The Texas Chain Saw Massacre’ With Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan · 1:06:04 · Bill Simmons (0.60 sure it was them)
fun, about The Texas Chain Saw Massacre: Craig's life lesson: the real lesson is don't pick up hitchhikers and always have a full tank; Bill notes the lesson from Miyagi is get gas when you need it.
“don't drop below a half tank.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The Texas Chain Saw Massacre’ With Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan · 1:07:10 · Bill Simmons (0.40 sure it was them)
fun, about The Texas Chain Saw Massacre: Casting what-ifs: Bill's 1974 big-cast version has Jeff Bridges, Rob Reiner (wheelchair), Ron Howard, Penny Marshall and Goldie Hawn as the final girl. The real unknown actors are what makes it work. Cruise or Hanks gag in the van.
“Jeff Bridges, Rob Reiner and Ron Howard, maybe Rob Reiners in the wheelchair.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The Texas Chain Saw Massacre’ With Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan · 1:08:29 · Bill Simmons (0.50 sure it was them)
fun, about Gunnar Hansen: Hansen admitted in his book Chainsaw Confidential that after failed attempts he secretly removed the protective tape from the knife and cut Burns's finger for real; Bill calls it an OSHA violation.
“he secretly removed the protected tape from the knife and cut Marilyn Burns's finger for real.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The Texas Chain Saw Massacre’ With Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan · 1:10:24 · Bill Simmons (0.50 sure it was them)
fun, about The Texas Chain Saw Massacre: Money story: financed by mob-linked money (the Deep Throat producers), cast kept signing away shares, company went bankrupt, New Line bought the stuff and belatedly paid; nobody went on to a career.
“They ended up getting financing from basically the mob.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The Texas Chain Saw Massacre’ With Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan · 1:11:42 · Bill Simmons (0.50 sure it was them)
fun, about The Texas Chain Saw Massacre: Hans Gruber villain scale: Leatherface is a 10 out of 10, shattering the ceiling.
“I have Leatherface has to be a 10 out of 10.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The Texas Chain Saw Massacre’ With Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan · 1:18:26 · Bill Simmons (0.50 sure it was them)
fun, about Gunnar Hansen: Body Odor Award to Leatherface: he had one dyed shirt for four weeks and by the end of the shoot no one would stand near him.
“by the end of the shoot, no one would stand near him.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The Texas Chain Saw Massacre’ With Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan · 1:18:52 · Bill Simmons (0.50 sure it was them)
fun, about Edwin Neal: Neal said Texas State troopers told him thanks for making the movie, because now there are no more hitchhikers.
“Now there's no more hitchhikers.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The Texas Chain Saw Massacre’ With Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan · 1:28:16 · Chris Ryan (0.40 sure it was them)
fun, about Marilyn Burns: Unanswerable question: Burns died in 2014 at 65, found by her brother, no cause of death specified, which makes the hosts nervous.
“Her cause of death was not specified.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The Texas Chain Saw Massacre’ With Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan · 1:28:41 · Chris Ryan (0.40 sure it was them)
fun, about The Texas Chain Saw Massacre: Who won the movie: Tobe Hooper, who got the best career out of it, at the Universal lot with Spielberg, directing Poltergeist.
“Hooper? Yeah, I think so.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The Texas Chain Saw Massacre’ With Bill Simmons and Chris Ryan · 1:31:26 · Bill Simmons (0.40 sure it was them)

Who's talking

Bill Simmons (host): Loves Halloween and the 1970s; admires the film's craft and rewatchability, especially Leatherface's unintentional comedy. Hates Franklin, hitchhikers, and unlikely logistics. Uses sports and pop-culture analogies for everything.
Chris Ryan (host): Loves 1970s realism and the film's patience and craft; admires Daniel Pearl's cinematography and the era's location shooting. Likes reality-rooted horror over supernatural. Gets to the research and context.
Craig Horlbeck (guest): Horror newcomer who just saw it for the first time; was scared by the late-90s VHS memory of Blair Witch and now finds humor in horror. Prefers reality-based horror over supernatural.

The show's recurring bits

Apex Mountain: The moment a star peaks; where on the mountain a performance sits.
Who Won the Movie: The hosts name the person who came out of the film best off.
The Ebert review: Roger Ebert's original review and star rating read aloud. Ebert is cited, never on the show.
Casting what-ifs: Who was almost cast, or who should have been.
Most rewatchable scene: The scene each host would stop on while flipping channels.
Aged best / aged worst: What holds up and what does not.
Picking Nits: The little things in a film the hosts love that they don't think totally work: the nits.
Double feature: The film each host would pair it with; a programming pick.

Names the transcriber got wrong

Toby Hooper → Tobe Hooper
Blur Witch → The Blair Witch Project
Ed Geen → Ed Gein
Daniel Parole → Daniel Pearl
Paul Party → Paul Partain
Texas Chainsaw Basker → Texas Chainsaw Massacre
9 Living Dead → Night of the Living Dead
Gunner Hanson → Gunnar Hansen
Edwin Neil/Ed Neil → Edwin Neal
Concepcio and Tyler → unknown Ringer staff names
Kreggers → likely Robert Eggers
Ari Aston → Ari Aster