Loves charisma performances, movie stars at their peak, and trivia from Tarantino's circle. Champions Brad Pitt as the winner. Can't stand awards mistakes like The Artist winning, and he warns about the 'Oscars should wait five years' view. A sucker for 1960s details, driving scenes, and Boogie Nights real estate.
Stances
Brad Pitt won the movie
Oscars should be awarded five years later
Focus is underrated
Humor: Runs bits on movies he almost bought, fake research, and sports-style comparisons.
In their words
“I think Pitt won the movie.” (1:17:58)
“I think I'm the only one that likes focus.” (0:32:43)
Loves the mid-80s Eddie Murphy and the movie's cultural phenomenon, and has a clear soft spot for Lisa Eilbacher. Is a sucker for Hollywood-excess anecdotes (Simpson, cocaine, Rourke, Stallone) and for sports analogies. Has little patience for plot logic holes but loves list games and categories.
Stances
Eddie Murphy in 1984 was the biggest star in the world after Michael Jackson
Lisa Eilbacher is the Apex Mountain and the film's winner
The Eddie-Murphy-as-star what-if game (Top Gun) is a worthwhile question
Humor: Rapid-fire sports analogies (WAR, LeBron, Dion Waiters, Shawn Michaels) and mock-indignant asides.
Loves the lore of how a movie got made, the lists (casting what-ifs, recasting), and the 'unanswerable questions' category. Has little patience for Lawrence Tierney's acting or for Ebert missing on Tarantino. He remembers the 1992 Boston era of a movie that mattered and is a sucker for a heist.
Stances
Tarantino won the movie
Lawrence Tierney is bad (the 'Mike Francesa' bit)
Does not want new Reservoir Dogs content
Wants to see the heist, plays devil's advocate
Humor: Throws sports analogies, invents award names, and runs recurring bits like Roger Ebert and Felony Land.
In their words
“I love bank ice scenes.” (1:23:55)
“It's Tarantino, and I think all of those actors robbing a bank.” (1:23:22)
“Can I make the case for seeing the heist?” (1:23:18)
Loves ensemble casts and film-lineage framing, sports analogies (Dwight Gooden, Penny Hardaway), and the show's recurring awards. Wants a better soundtrack, and cannot stand the ending speech. Is a sucker for his wife and kids' opinions of the film.
Stances
Mean Girls is the best Lorne Michaels movie
Lohan's decline is like an athlete's lost career
Soundtrack and ending speech are weak
Humor: Dry, sports-and-family riffs, often teased by his co-hosts.
In their words
“that was like Dwight Gooden in 1985 on the Mets.” (0:27:59)
“I think this is the best Lauren Michaels movie.” (0:16:22)
Bill loves old-school sports myth-making, baseball nostalgia, the Natural's chill scene, and stat-nerd rabbit holes like reconstructing Roy Hobbs's season. He is picky about throwing motions and lineup logic, and is a sucker for the dugout-emptying slow-motion shot. He ranks Bull Durham/Hoosiers/Rocky near the top and finds slow hospital stretches in sports movies unbearable.
Stances
The Natural used to be the greatest sports movie but is now slower than he remembers
Every great sports movie needs a chill scene
Dislikes bad throwing motions on screen
Hospital detours in sports movies should be cut short
Roy Hobbs was a Bonds-level statistical machine, or worse
Humor: Dry, list-making sports-nerd riffs and reaching pop-culture asides (Bachelor, Harry Potter) delivered as if serious.
In their words
“My move with sports movies is like, get me out of the hospital as fast as possible.” (1:00:37)
“nothing drives me crazier than when somebody can't throw in a baseball movie.” (0:56:43)
Loves Gen X touchstones and basketball analogies; sticks up for Winona Ryder and Friends season one; mocks Troy-type guys and over-talky English majors. A sucker for half-assed internet research and awards-bit tradition.
Stances
Winona Ryder won the movie
Singles is a flawed but beloved sibling
Ben Stiller deserves credit
Humor: Rolls NBA references and mock-feuds into everything.
In their words
“I do look at her in a way, like, uh, like I look at some NBA players.” (0:32:14)
Loves sports-adjacent silliness, big broad comedy and quotable lines, and wedding toast chaos. Can't stand being wrong about movie trivia he has already litigated. A sucker for his own running categories and bits (Ebert, Joey Pants, Dion Waiters).
Stances
Roger Ebert is never to be trusted on comedies
Comedies of the era were a nice 6-7 year run
Open your movie with a wedding theory
Luke Wilson is not Harrison Ford
Humor: Deadpan rapid-fire teasing of co-hosts and mock-outrage, plus sports references.
In their words
“never to be trusted on comedies.” (0:15:17)
“This movie also nicely slots into my open your movie with a wedding theory.” (1:01:05)
Loves sports analogies, Kurt Russell and Pacino's Cruising, defends 90s movies like Fletch. Dislikes dated romance interludes like the picnic. A sucker for mustaches and Dana Wheeler-Nicholson.
Stances
Val Kilmer wins the movie
Wyatt Earp is the rival, Tombstone is more entertaining
Cruising is incredible
Cut the 12-minute theater scene
Humor: Rapid-fire sports comparisons and teasing his cohosts.
In their words
“I think this movie is the perfect microcosm of both of their careers.” (0:12:28)
“I just don't come to Tombstone for picnics” (0:29:44)
Loves old-school and 5 o'clocker action, Seagal, Stallone, Nick Cage, and movies that know exactly what they are. Can't stand over-explained worldbuilding or sequels that give the hero a known villain. A sucker for the Neeson comeback and for ranking things by era.
Stances
Taken is the perfect 5 o'clocker
Taken 2 is not better than the first
Neeson is the Apex Mountain of the movie
The first Taken works because there is no main villain
Humor: Deadpan nitpicking, escalating sports analogies, and long self-deprecating dad stories.
In their words
“I just like watching movies that know exactly what they are.” (0:32:10)
“I don't think it's a John Wick 2 situation where John Wick 2 is actually somehow better than John Wick one, or we could at least have the debate.” (0:42:12)
Loves big star-driven movies and sets the show's categories; adores the Wahlberg and Baldwin scenes, Boston flavor and the crazy cast what-ifs. Can't stand Nicholson's performance here, implausible plot points and the rat. A sucker for 'that guy' actors, Goodfellas and Boston details.
Stances
The Departed is a Hall of Famer because it is flawed and fun
Leo won the movie, Nicholson loses it
Costello should have been Pacino
Damon's Boston accent beats Wahlberg's
Scorsese's Stones fetish is funny
Humor: Deadpan nitpicking, jokes about plot holes and trivia, rapid mock-outrage.
In their words
“This is a perfect rewatchable because it is a great bad movie.” (0:12:23)
Calls Spielberg the greatest director ever but is skeptical of his late period and Munich. Loves Jaws, Raiders, and E.T. through his kids, and measures movies by whether kids can stay with them. Distrusts the calculating, career-minded side of Spielberg and Spielberg's DreamWorks hedging.
Stances
Spielberg's first 15 years are the greatest career stretch ever
His recent work is solid but not special
Spielberg is 'calculating' where Mann or Coppola are obsessive
Judges movies by whether his kids can watch them
Humor: Wry and teasing; leans on sports analogies (LeBron, Popovich) and bits like 'hit by a car in 1986'.
In their words
“if you just got hit by a car at the peak of your career, how would people remember you?” (0:51:08)
“I judge everything by my kids who have, you know, 21st century ADD with pop culture.” (1:00:09)
Their shows' recurring bits
Running bits, not opinions; a critic read aloud is cited, not present.
The Big Picture
Drafts: Hosts and guests draft films in rounds; every pick is a recommendation with an argument.
Hall of Fame: A star's or director's best, ranked and argued.
Countdowns: Ranked lists, top five or top ten.
The Rewatchables
Apex Mountain: The moment a star peaks; where on the mountain a performance sits.
Who Won the Movie: The hosts name the person who came out of the film best off.
The Ebert review: Roger Ebert's original review and star rating read aloud. Ebert is cited, never on the show.
Casting what-ifs: Who was almost cast, or who should have been.
Most rewatchable scene: The scene each host would stop on while flipping channels.
Aged best / aged worst: What holds up and what does not.
Picking Nits: The little things in a film the hosts love that they don't think totally work: the nits.
Double feature: The film each host would pair it with; a programming pick.
Their claims
Showing 1,101–1,200 of 1,295 claims.
what-if (what-if):
Robert Forster → Reservoir Dogs.
Forster auditioned for Joe Cabot, then played Jackie Brown; Bill thinks he would have beaten Tierney.
“I never thought Robert Foster was that great, but he would have been better than Lawrence Kierney.”
what-if (what-if):
Reservoir Dogs → Hans Zimmer.
Imagining Tony Scott's version, a host wonders if it would have had a Hans Zimmer score in place of the 70s songs.
“Would it have been like a Hans Zimmer score instead of the 70s songs?”
craft (craft):
Reservoir Dogs → Stealers Wheel.
A host reports Tarantino said the whole soundtrack budget went to securing 'Stuck in the Middle with You'.
“Tarantino said in 14 that the entire soundtrack budget was spent on securing, stuck in the middle with you.”
lineage (lineage):
Reservoir Dogs → Pulp Fiction.
Vic Vega and Vincent Vega are brothers; Tarantino wanted a prequel before Madsen and Travolta aged out.
“Vic Vega and Vincent Vega from Pulp Fictions were brothers.”
programming (programming):
Reservoir Dogs → Inglourious Basterds.
The Inglourious Basterds spelling is a Tarantino flourish; Reservoir Dogs' title is also odd.
lineage (lineage):
Mean Girls → Fast Times at Ridgemont High.
Simmons proposes a championship-belt lineage of smart teen movies starting with Fast Times and running through Mean Girls.
“I feel like Fast Times at Ridgemont High was the 1st one.”
theme (genre commentary):
Mean Girls → Cruel Intentions.
Cruel Intentions is argued to be a smart teen movie because it comments on the genre; Simmons says it is an adult movie using teens, coming on Rewatchables 99.
“That's actually an adult movie that's using teens, which is what makes it so weird and uncomfortable.”
unmapped (overqualified lead):
Mean Girls → Easy A.
Emma Stone in Easy A is the other candidate for an actress overqualified for a teen movie, alongside Lohan.
“Emma Stone would be the other candidate for just, Completely overqualified to be in one of these movies.”
people (performance):
Lindsay Lohan → The Parent Trap.
Lohan is jarringly awesome playing two characters in The Parent Trap, which Simmons' daughter watched for a year.
career (career projection):
Lindsay Lohan → Jodie Foster.
After Freaky Friday, Ebert's comparison made it seem Lohan would be the next Jodie Foster, doing teen movies then winning Oscars.
“So at this point, we're like, this is the next Jody Foster.”
career (career run):
Mean Girls → Freaky Friday.
Freaky Friday made $92 million; Lohan's run went Freaky Friday, Confessions, Mean Girls, then the wheels came off.
“Uh, did confessions of a teenage drama queen, then it goes well on that mean girls.”
what-if (what-if career):
Lindsay Lohan → River Phoenix.
Another talented actor whose career is a what-if; Simmons compares to athletes lost to injury or drugs.
“River Phoenix, who I think is another one where it's, there's a lot of what ifs that go with him”
people (same producer):
Mean Girls → Wayne's World.
Wayne's World, Mean Girls and Tommy Boy are the nominees for best Lorne Michaels movie; Mean Girls wins as he lets talent paint the canvas.
unmapped (rare teen star):
Lindsay Lohan → Alicia Silverstone.
No teen star like Lohan or Silverstone has appeared since; both show how hard young-woman fame is.
theme (trope):
Secret Admirer → Mean Girls.
The trope that the guy does not notice his hot friend until late recurs in Secret Admirer and Dawson's Creek.
“Secret admirer has Lori Laughlin, C. Thomas Howes, in love with Kelly Preston”
career (career run):
Rachel McAdams → The Notebook.
2004 brought Mean Girls then The Notebook then Wedding Crashers, the 'trilogy' that gave McAdams career power.
craft (soundtrack/dating):
Lindsay Lohan → Samantha Ronson.
The soundtrack song 'Built This Way' is by Samantha Ronson, whom Lohan later dated, which throws a viewer off.
“Katie starts dating the person who did the song a year later.”
industry (awards crossover):
Mean Girls → Pretty Woman.
The Vivian Award for best clothes started at the Pretty Woman rewatchables; here it is reversed for worst clothes.
“We had the Vivian Award for best clothes in a movie that we started during the Pretty Women rewatchables”
what-if (casting what-if):
Lindsay Lohan → Pretty Woman.
Asked whether Lohan could have starred in Pretty Woman at 23; they say no, her power was suburban edge, not hard exterior and soft center.
“Could she have done Pretty Woman if Pretty Woman was 20 years later?”
what-if (role swap what-if):
Lindsay Lohan → Rachel McAdams.
They were originally cast in opposite roles; McAdams would have been too old to be believable as homeschooled Cady.
people (casting context):
Mean Girls → Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen.
Lohan said she had just played Confessions and Freaky Friday, not the cool girl, which is why she wanted Regina.
“I just played in Confessions of a teenager drama queen in Freaky Friday, not the cool girl in school.”
verdict (Apex Mountain comparison):
Mean Girls → Wedding Crashers.
Debating McAdams' Apex Mountain, they weigh Wedding Crashers as the third of her trilogy with career power.
“So at the end, by the end of the trilogy of this notebook wedding crashers, she has so much career power at that point”
industry (MTV Movie Awards moment):
Rachel McAdams → Ryan Gosling.
The Notebook pair's MTV Movie Awards stage appearance was a landmark for college women.
theme (generational comparison):
Lindsay Lohan → Elizabeth Taylor.
People thought Lohan was this generation's Elizabeth Taylor, then the bad parts happened without the good.
craft (craft):
Tim Robbins → Bull Durham.
Tim Robbins's throwing motion is called insurmountable for a phenom pitcher; Mallory counters that it is part of the lore.
“You can't have the greatest baseball movie of all time when you have this phenom pitcher, and he throws like he has a broken arm.”
what-if (what-if):
The Natural → Field of Dreams.
A 2015 remake would stay faithful to the dark book, since we now expect the worst of baseball heroes.
“if we made this movie in like 2015, I actually think they would have stayed faithful to the book”
lineage (lineage):
The Natural → Shoeless Joe Jackson.
The book's ending, with a boy saying it ain't true, Roy, is a clear Shoeless Joe Jackson rip-off.
“which is a clear shoeless Joe Jackson, rip off thing.”
lineage (lineage):
The Natural → The Odyssey (Homer).
The movie maps onto Homer: Roy is Odysseus, Harriet and Memo play siren/Calypso figures, Iris is Penelope.
industry (industry):
The Bad News Bears → Bad News Bears (remake).
The 70s original was politically incorrect like the era; the remake had to be made politically correct, which defeated the purpose.
“When they rebate it, it was a disaster because they had to make a political correct version of it”
lineage (lineage):
The Natural → Major League.
The 80s baseball movies (The Natural, Field of Dreams, Major League) follow the old-school rags-to-riches arc, Rocky as a baseball team.
“the natural field of dreams, major league with the old school kind of start to finish, rags to riches, rocky as a baseball team”
industry (industry):
For Love of the Game → Moneyball.
Baseball movies progressed from straight sports to merging genres (For Love of the Game) to a movement story that happens to be about baseball (Moneyball).
“now it's like this is about a movement that happened in a sport and it just happens to be about baseball”
contrast (contrast):
The Natural → The Sandlot.
For Bill's young son, the Natural is way too slow, while Sandlot, Major League and Bad News Bears work.
“The lightning, the lightning scene is more realistic and has better, more state of the art special effects than a scene where everyone's flying around in 2001.”
verdict (verdict):
The Natural → Rocky.
The Natural's walk-off homer is the greatest chill scene of any sports movie, except maybe Rocky going down and getting up in the 14th round.
“Except for maybe Rocky getting knocked down in the 14th round of Rocky one”
what-if (what-if):
The Natural → Zach Cram.
Roy's modern value would be a three-true-outcomes player, like Zach Cram, with only homers, strikeouts and walks.
craft (craft):
The Natural → Field of Dreams.
Roy Hobbs's son and the Field of Dreams catcher are the worst throwing motions; the speaker names Tim Robbins's Bull Durham motion as worse-but-excused.
“I just can't excuse the Field of Dreams catcher.”
career (career):
Robert Redford → All the President's Men.
Redford's apex mountain was All the President's Men, when he had the juice to make and produce it.
“We did the other President's Men rewatchables and decided that actually was his Apex Mountain”
what-if (what-if):
The Natural → Hypothetical basketball series.
As a 10-episode series it would be better as basketball, set in the 60s, to keep the identity mystery plausible.
career (career):
Winona Ryder → The Godfather Part III.
Ryder's run of odd choices included falling out of Godfather 3, leading to the Sofia Coppola casting.
“And then from that point, she falls out of Godfather 3.”
industry (industry):
Reality Bites → Friends (TV).
Friends season one captured the mid-90s roommate money tension that Reality Bites does.
“That's why I defend season one of Friends, because I thought it did a nice job of, in these weird ways of, uh, what it was like to have a roommate in the mid 90s.”
industry (industry):
Reality Bites → Melrose Place (TV).
The Melrose Place AIDS scene lampoons the TV treatment of the issue while the film makes AIDS a character.
“this movie, out of any movie I've seen from this era, does the best job of just kind of making that a character.”
fun, about
Jay Barrishell:
Daily Beast interview: Jay said he and Jonah didn't get along and found Jonah's compliment scene exhausting, then loved the rough cut.
fun, about
Rihanna:
Slapped Michael Cera for real; Cera asked if he could slap her butt and she said only if she could hit back; multiple takes left him lying down.
“he asked Rihanna if he could actually slap her butt and she said, if I can hit you back.”
fun, about
Alec Baldwin:
On set Baldwin refused to shave his beard, so Bill Pullman was lined up to replace him; he then shaved but stopped talking to the director for the shoot.
“And then won't talk to the director for the rest of the shoot.”
fun, about
David Mamet:
Art Linson's book: in the pitch an executive objected that nobody roots for a rich guy, so Mamet added the affair and the cuckold angle.
fun, about
Bart the Bear:
Bart's filmography: Legends of the Fall, The Great Outdoors, 12 Monkeys, Grizzly Adams, presented at the 1998 Academy Awards.
“He was a presenter at the Academy Awards in 1998”
fun, about
Paul Bettany:
Balcony speech: fear of falling is really fear that you might jump; then the money-left-after-taxes run with 76,520 on hookers.
fun, about
Margin Call:
Casting what-ifs: Irons role first offered to Ben Kingsley, Tim Robbins and Billy Crudup passed, Carla Gugino was to play Demi Moore's part.
“The Jeremy Ions ions world was originally offered too.”
fun, about
Misery:
Goldman wanted the job because of King's foot-chopping scene; George Roy Hill could not direct it, and Reiner and Scheinman softened it to the ankle-breaking hobbling.
“The lapping scene was gone now forever replaced by the ankle breaking scene.”
fun, about
Judd Apatow:
Bill reads the Rudd character as a stand-in for Judd, with Apatow's own wife and kids on screen: 'Judd's really going through something'.
fun, about
Beverly Hills Cop II:
A Premiere magazine piece says the script was rewritten dozens of times, finalized three weeks before production, with a 10-week shoot stretching to 20.
“Cop 2 ate up the energy of 2 executive producers, 2 producers, one director, 6 writers, and various productive production executives of personnel at Paramount.”
fun, about
Brigitte Nielsen:
Most rewatchable scene pick: the jewelry-store robbery with the robber calling out elapsed time and time left.
“If a movie features a scene where there is a robbery and the robber is calling out the amount of time that they've been in there and how much time they have left, probably going to be a rewatchable at some point.”
fun, about
Beverly Hills Cop II:
Murphy's original pitch was a Testarossa and a Beverly Hills gun club; the studio first considered England/Scotland Yard and a TV series, but Murphy refused both.
“Murphy's ideas was that that Folish should have a testeras, Rosa Ferrari, and that there should be something at the Beverly Hills gun club.”
fun, about
Tony Scott:
Scott flew to New Jersey to meet Murphy, shot pool, then Murphy vanished mid-rematch and sent his boys to say Scott was fine with him.
“Scott recalls shooting some pool with Murphy. who won the 1st game, then disappeared in the middle of a rematch.”
fun, about
Eddie Murphy:
Murphy arrived with a huge trailer and an entourage including his Uncle Ray, brother Charlie, cousin Ray Jr., Fruity, and a 21-year-old valet, and was late all the time, then ad-libbed.
“he was late all the time, according to one of the crew.”
fun, about
Beverly Hills Cop II:
Eddie Murphy himself called it the most successful mediocre picture in history, a half-assed rehash that was less spontaneous. Both hosts disagree and say they love it.
“Beverly Hills cop 2 was probably the most successful mediocre picture in history.”
fun, about
Eddie Murphy:
Murphy bought a $65,000 Porsche at lunch when depressed, and fought producers to keep the Ferrari from the movie; the producers' spokesman denied they ever gave him one.
“Eddie may have bought a red Ferrari, but Don and Jerry never gave him one.”
fun, about
Beverly Hills Cop II:
Most rewatchable scene: Axel at the gun club pleading for his daughters Monique and Unique; Simmons calls it a fucking classic.
“I'd like to see my kids, Monique and Unique again, fucking classic.”
fun, about
Beverly Hills Cop II:
Best quote candidate: the Gerald Ford lookalike in the strip club; Simmons says he still doesn't know why it's funny after all these years.
fun, about
Tony Scott:
On the armored-truck city deposit robbery: Scott takes off his shirt, rubs body butter on his arms and does action-sequence curls for three minutes.
“Tony's like, takes off his shirt, rubs his arms with body butter, and just fucking does some curls for us for about 3 minutes.”
fun, about
Beverly Hills Cop II:
Ages the best: the opening song 'Shakedown' by Bob Seger; Simmons wants more theme songs thematically drawn from the movie, like running away from crime in the city.
“We just don't have, we used to do things in this country.”
fun, about
Beverly Hills Cop II:
Ages the best: Producer Craig plays the Faltermeyer opening and Simmons says it makes him want to rob a jewelry store; they plan to end pods with a 45-second Craig song.
fun, about
Hugh Hefner:
First movie ever filmed at the Playboy Mansion; Hefner had said no film, then supposedly found a film reflecting his values. Paul Reiser also reads Playboy Sisters in three scenes.
“Reiser, he's reading Playboy Sisters, 112 pages of Sexy Siblings.”
fun, about
Beverly Hills Cop II:
Casting what-if: Simmons wants Geena Davis in the thin role of Bogomil's daughter Jan, and Ryan wants Lisa Bonet as a strip-club character killed to fuel Axel's revenge, an 11-minute sidetrack.
“It's just 2 phone calls and then she's like, I've solved where this guy's visa came from?”