Loves charisma performances, movie stars at their peak, and trivia from Tarantino's circle. Champions Brad Pitt as the winner. Can't stand awards mistakes like The Artist winning, and he warns about the 'Oscars should wait five years' view. A sucker for 1960s details, driving scenes, and Boogie Nights real estate.
Stances
Brad Pitt won the movie
Oscars should be awarded five years later
Focus is underrated
Humor: Runs bits on movies he almost bought, fake research, and sports-style comparisons.
In their words
“I think Pitt won the movie.” (1:17:58)
“I think I'm the only one that likes focus.” (0:32:43)
Loves the mid-80s Eddie Murphy and the movie's cultural phenomenon, and has a clear soft spot for Lisa Eilbacher. Is a sucker for Hollywood-excess anecdotes (Simpson, cocaine, Rourke, Stallone) and for sports analogies. Has little patience for plot logic holes but loves list games and categories.
Stances
Eddie Murphy in 1984 was the biggest star in the world after Michael Jackson
Lisa Eilbacher is the Apex Mountain and the film's winner
The Eddie-Murphy-as-star what-if game (Top Gun) is a worthwhile question
Humor: Rapid-fire sports analogies (WAR, LeBron, Dion Waiters, Shawn Michaels) and mock-indignant asides.
Loves the lore of how a movie got made, the lists (casting what-ifs, recasting), and the 'unanswerable questions' category. Has little patience for Lawrence Tierney's acting or for Ebert missing on Tarantino. He remembers the 1992 Boston era of a movie that mattered and is a sucker for a heist.
Stances
Tarantino won the movie
Lawrence Tierney is bad (the 'Mike Francesa' bit)
Does not want new Reservoir Dogs content
Wants to see the heist, plays devil's advocate
Humor: Throws sports analogies, invents award names, and runs recurring bits like Roger Ebert and Felony Land.
In their words
“I love bank ice scenes.” (1:23:55)
“It's Tarantino, and I think all of those actors robbing a bank.” (1:23:22)
“Can I make the case for seeing the heist?” (1:23:18)
Loves ensemble casts and film-lineage framing, sports analogies (Dwight Gooden, Penny Hardaway), and the show's recurring awards. Wants a better soundtrack, and cannot stand the ending speech. Is a sucker for his wife and kids' opinions of the film.
Stances
Mean Girls is the best Lorne Michaels movie
Lohan's decline is like an athlete's lost career
Soundtrack and ending speech are weak
Humor: Dry, sports-and-family riffs, often teased by his co-hosts.
In their words
“that was like Dwight Gooden in 1985 on the Mets.” (0:27:59)
“I think this is the best Lauren Michaels movie.” (0:16:22)
Bill loves old-school sports myth-making, baseball nostalgia, the Natural's chill scene, and stat-nerd rabbit holes like reconstructing Roy Hobbs's season. He is picky about throwing motions and lineup logic, and is a sucker for the dugout-emptying slow-motion shot. He ranks Bull Durham/Hoosiers/Rocky near the top and finds slow hospital stretches in sports movies unbearable.
Stances
The Natural used to be the greatest sports movie but is now slower than he remembers
Every great sports movie needs a chill scene
Dislikes bad throwing motions on screen
Hospital detours in sports movies should be cut short
Roy Hobbs was a Bonds-level statistical machine, or worse
Humor: Dry, list-making sports-nerd riffs and reaching pop-culture asides (Bachelor, Harry Potter) delivered as if serious.
In their words
“My move with sports movies is like, get me out of the hospital as fast as possible.” (1:00:37)
“nothing drives me crazier than when somebody can't throw in a baseball movie.” (0:56:43)
Loves Gen X touchstones and basketball analogies; sticks up for Winona Ryder and Friends season one; mocks Troy-type guys and over-talky English majors. A sucker for half-assed internet research and awards-bit tradition.
Stances
Winona Ryder won the movie
Singles is a flawed but beloved sibling
Ben Stiller deserves credit
Humor: Rolls NBA references and mock-feuds into everything.
In their words
“I do look at her in a way, like, uh, like I look at some NBA players.” (0:32:14)
Loves sports-adjacent silliness, big broad comedy and quotable lines, and wedding toast chaos. Can't stand being wrong about movie trivia he has already litigated. A sucker for his own running categories and bits (Ebert, Joey Pants, Dion Waiters).
Stances
Roger Ebert is never to be trusted on comedies
Comedies of the era were a nice 6-7 year run
Open your movie with a wedding theory
Luke Wilson is not Harrison Ford
Humor: Deadpan rapid-fire teasing of co-hosts and mock-outrage, plus sports references.
In their words
“never to be trusted on comedies.” (0:15:17)
“This movie also nicely slots into my open your movie with a wedding theory.” (1:01:05)
Loves sports analogies, Kurt Russell and Pacino's Cruising, defends 90s movies like Fletch. Dislikes dated romance interludes like the picnic. A sucker for mustaches and Dana Wheeler-Nicholson.
Stances
Val Kilmer wins the movie
Wyatt Earp is the rival, Tombstone is more entertaining
Cruising is incredible
Cut the 12-minute theater scene
Humor: Rapid-fire sports comparisons and teasing his cohosts.
In their words
“I think this movie is the perfect microcosm of both of their careers.” (0:12:28)
“I just don't come to Tombstone for picnics” (0:29:44)
Loves old-school and 5 o'clocker action, Seagal, Stallone, Nick Cage, and movies that know exactly what they are. Can't stand over-explained worldbuilding or sequels that give the hero a known villain. A sucker for the Neeson comeback and for ranking things by era.
Stances
Taken is the perfect 5 o'clocker
Taken 2 is not better than the first
Neeson is the Apex Mountain of the movie
The first Taken works because there is no main villain
Humor: Deadpan nitpicking, escalating sports analogies, and long self-deprecating dad stories.
In their words
“I just like watching movies that know exactly what they are.” (0:32:10)
“I don't think it's a John Wick 2 situation where John Wick 2 is actually somehow better than John Wick one, or we could at least have the debate.” (0:42:12)
Loves big star-driven movies and sets the show's categories; adores the Wahlberg and Baldwin scenes, Boston flavor and the crazy cast what-ifs. Can't stand Nicholson's performance here, implausible plot points and the rat. A sucker for 'that guy' actors, Goodfellas and Boston details.
Stances
The Departed is a Hall of Famer because it is flawed and fun
Leo won the movie, Nicholson loses it
Costello should have been Pacino
Damon's Boston accent beats Wahlberg's
Scorsese's Stones fetish is funny
Humor: Deadpan nitpicking, jokes about plot holes and trivia, rapid mock-outrage.
In their words
“This is a perfect rewatchable because it is a great bad movie.” (0:12:23)
Calls Spielberg the greatest director ever but is skeptical of his late period and Munich. Loves Jaws, Raiders, and E.T. through his kids, and measures movies by whether kids can stay with them. Distrusts the calculating, career-minded side of Spielberg and Spielberg's DreamWorks hedging.
Stances
Spielberg's first 15 years are the greatest career stretch ever
His recent work is solid but not special
Spielberg is 'calculating' where Mann or Coppola are obsessive
Judges movies by whether his kids can watch them
Humor: Wry and teasing; leans on sports analogies (LeBron, Popovich) and bits like 'hit by a car in 1986'.
In their words
“if you just got hit by a car at the peak of your career, how would people remember you?” (0:51:08)
“I judge everything by my kids who have, you know, 21st century ADD with pop culture.” (1:00:09)
Their shows' recurring bits
Running bits, not opinions; a critic read aloud is cited, not present.
The Big Picture
Drafts: Hosts and guests draft films in rounds; every pick is a recommendation with an argument.
Hall of Fame: A star's or director's best, ranked and argued.
Countdowns: Ranked lists, top five or top ten.
The Rewatchables
Apex Mountain: The moment a star peaks; where on the mountain a performance sits.
Who Won the Movie: The hosts name the person who came out of the film best off.
The Ebert review: Roger Ebert's original review and star rating read aloud. Ebert is cited, never on the show.
Casting what-ifs: Who was almost cast, or who should have been.
Most rewatchable scene: The scene each host would stop on while flipping channels.
Aged best / aged worst: What holds up and what does not.
Picking Nits: The little things in a film the hosts love that they don't think totally work: the nits.
Double feature: The film each host would pair it with; a programming pick.
Their claims
Showing 601–700 of 1,295 claims.
craft (craft):
Wedding Crashers → Knocked Up.
Bill says Wedding Crashers and Mean Girls became genuinely funny, which is what Apatow figured out.
“I think the thing Appatau figured out on wedding crashers and Mean Girls and some of these other things was, they became genuinely funny.”
contrast (contrast):
When Harry Met Sally → My Best Friend's Wedding.
Bill says Harry Met Sally is genuinely funny, unlike Pretty Woman or the Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks movies; My Best Friend's Wedding is funny but not hilarious.
“My best friend's wedding is funny, but it's not like, it's not like hilarious.”
craft (craft):
Judd Apatow → The 40-Year-Old Virgin.
Bill says Apatow put idiot 22-year-old men into a rom-com, a trick he also used in 40-Year-Old Virgin.
“Judd figured out how to like put them in a rom-com and make it work.”
contrast (contrast):
Knocked Up → The 40-Year-Old Virgin.
Bill says the first half is idiots hanging out and the second half is more rom-com, less funny and more heartwarming; he notes 40-Year-Old Virgin was already covered.
“He did it in 40-year-old version too, which we've already done”
industry (industry):
Judd Apatow → Adam McKay.
Bill says McKay and Ferrell were doing the same improvise-and-keep-rolling thing at the same time as Apatow.
“Adam McKay and Will Ferrell and those guys are kind of doing the same thing at the same time.”
career (career):
Katherine Heigl → Grey's Anatomy (TV).
Bill says Heigl got more attention from Grey's Anatomy and was good in Knocked Up, laying seeds of a major star.
career (career):
Katherine Heigl → Julia Roberts.
Bill lines up Heigl with Reese Witherspoon, young Sandra Bullock and Julia Roberts as someone you can tell 'has it'.
career (career):
Martin Starr → Silicon Valley (TV).
Bill says Martin Starr is the same guy in everything, like in Silicon Valley, but figured out his lane.
programming (programming):
Knocked Up → Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy.
The pee-break category is named after the Anchorman flute scene; Bill uses it to mark Knocked Up's 7.5-minute labor stretch.
“The anchorman flute. P-break Award for best time to go go pee”
what-if (what-if):
Anne Hathaway → Knocked Up.
Bill raises Anne Hathaway as originally cast as Alison and dropping out over how the birth footage would be used.
what-if (what-if):
Kate Bosworth → Knocked Up.
Bill reports alleged auditions by Jennifer Love Hewitt (transcribed 'La Feud'), Kate Bosworth and Christina Aguilera.
“Allegedly, Jennifer La Feud and Kate Bosworth auditioned.”
what-if (what-if):
Mila Kunis → Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Bill says Mila Kunis auditioned for Alison, didn't get it, but Apatow remembered her for Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
“We know Mila Kunis auditioned and didn't get it, but Jed Appatau remembered her and put her around forgetting Sarah Marshall.”
industry (industry):
Michael Cera → Knocked Up.
Bill describes a DVD special feature where Michael Cera is 'fired' and Bennett Miller co-directs, a wrestling-style work.
“Do you know about this special feature on the DVD where Michael Sarah gets fired from the film”
programming (programming):
Knocked Up → The League (TV).
Bill says Knocked Up may be the most high-profile fantasy moment in a movie, since The League is a TV show.
“It might be the most high profile fantasy moment.”
theme (theme):
Knocked Up → Big Daddy.
Bill compares Ben's money-from-nowhere set-up to Sonny in Big Daddy: it doesn't have to work because he has all the money.
“Sonny get run over by, uh, like a cab in Big Daddy.”
contrast (contrast):
Knocked Up → Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Imagining Alison's life after the movie, Bill says she might meet a better guy than Rogen and it becomes a Forgetting Sarah Marshall situation.
“and it becomes a forgetting Sarah Marshall situation where.”
unmapped (fish out of water vs showcase):
Beverly Hills Cop → Beverly Hills Cop II.
The first film has a coherent story and fish-out-of-water appeal; the sequel is a showcase of Eddie doing bits.
“The 1st movie has like a much more coherent story.”
lineage (sequel scarcity):
Beverly Hills Cop II → Police Academy 4.
Cop II was the only sequel in the 1987 domestic top 20-25; the next was Police Academy 4 at 44th.
“This is the only sequel in the top 20, top 25, where it's not until Police Academy 4, which was the 44th biggest movie that year.”
career (career decline):
Eddie Murphy → The Distinguished Gentleman.
The set indulgence of 1987 Eddie leads eventually to the wheels coming off by The Distinguished Gentleman.
“at some point that leads to, you know, you're doing the distinguished gentlemen and the wheels have just gone, the wheels have come up.”
unmapped (Eddie Murphy run):
Beverly Hills Cop II → 48 Hrs..
The Rewatchables has covered 48 Hrs., Cop I, Cop II, Coming to America; only Trading Places is left; Simmons prefers 48 Hrs. personally.
unmapped (rewatchability):
Beverly Hills Cop II → Beverly Hills Cop.
Not better, but more rewatchable than the first because sleeker with no dead spots or open questions.
“I don't think it's a better movie, but I actually think it's a more rewatchable movie because it's sleeker.”
unmapped (critic grudge):
Roger Ebert → Spies Like Us.
Ebert had trashed Spies Like Us on the Tonight Show with Chevy Chase sitting next to him, showing his salt toward these comedies.
“he was on the Tonight Show with Chevy Chase and he reamed the Spies like Us movie right in front of him.”
verdict (all-time favorites):
Eddie Murphy → David Letterman.
Simmons ranks Murphy on his short list alongside Letterman and Larry Bird.
“I don't know whether he's where he ranks against Letterman and Larry Bird and, you know, the Alzheimer's for me, but he's right. He's on the short list.”
unmapped (TV appearance):
Eddie Murphy → Joe Piscopo.
Murphy appeared on a Piscopo comedy special doing a Miami Vice parody during his scarce public years.
“He was Joe Piscopo, had a comedy special that was great. where Eddie went on that and they did a Miami Vice parody.”
unmapped (modern equivalent):
Eddie Murphy → Dave Chappelle.
A modern equivalent would require combining a piece of Chappelle with five other peak performers.
“It's like a piece of Chappelle, and then you'd have to take 5 other people who are at the peak of their powers and combine them.”
unmapped (top-20 neighbors):
Beverly Hills Cop II → Dirty Dancing.
The 1987 top 20 includes Fatal Attraction, Lethal Weapon, RoboCop, Predator and others, putting Cop II as the third biggest.
“Three Men and a Baby, Fatal Attraction, Beverly Hills Cop 2.”
unmapped (Black stardom in 1987):
Eddie Murphy → Bill Cosby.
Murphy was the only Black star in the 1987 top 20 and, with Cosby, carried outsized importance.
unmapped (racetrack crosscutting):
Tony Scott → Beverly Hills Cop II.
Scott's signature crosscutting with running horses defines the racetrack robbery.
“Nobody loved crosscutting with running horses more than Tony Scott.”
unmapped (romance):
Brigitte Nielsen → Tony Scott.
Nielsen cheated on Stallone with Tony Scott during this filming, per what Simmons read, and also had a romance with Schwarzenegger.
“Mary Stallone, cheated on Stallone with Tony Scott, which broke up his marriage during this filming”
what-if (career what-if):
Brigitte Nielsen → Steven Seagal.
Nielsen should have landed in a Seagal movie like Above the Law or Marked for Death, or been the bad guy in Under Siege 3.
“I think she could have been an above the law or marked for death, any of those.”
craft (score echo):
Harold Faltermeyer → Escape from New York.
The Faltermeyer opening has hints of 48 Hrs., Escape from New York, Miami Vice, and Fletch.
people (producer power):
Don Simpson → The Presidio.
Simpson was powerful enough to have Paramount pull writer Larry Ferguson off The Presidio mid-script.
“Simpson is so powerful at this point that he had Paramount remove a writer named Larry Ferguson from the Presidio to come help with this film.”
unmapped (easter egg):
Beverly Hills Cop II → Cobra.
Rosewood has a Cobra poster in his apartment, which is funny given Scott and Nielsen's off-screen story.
“He's got the Cobra poster in his room, and meanwhile, Tony Scott is...”
career (career arc):
Judge Reinhold → Fast Times at Ridgemont High.
Reinhold's rise runs from Fast Times (1982) through Ruthless People; Vice Versa was his solo breakout attempt that failed.
“Vice versa was his big chance to break out on his own. Didn't work, and then the wheels kind of came off after that.”
people (sequel adds cast):
Beverly Hills Cop II → Lethal Weapon.
By the mid-90s sequels learned to add stars (Pesci in Lethal Weapon, Jackson in Die Hard 3); Cop sequels just ran it back.
“You have to have Joe Pesci join Lethal Weapon, and you have to try to bring in Chris Rock. You get Sam Jackson in Die Hard 3.”
lineage (lineage):
The Player → The Larry Sanders Show.
Bill asks whether The Player is ground zero for the meta-Hollywood strain that runs through Larry Sanders and Curb.
“Larry Sanders and Curb your enthusiasm and all these different things we've had over the 30 years.”
lineage (lineage):
Robert Altman → Paul Thomas Anderson.
Bill says Altman's legacy is the filmmakers he influenced, and Boogie Nights is PTA trying to do The Player and Altman.
“He's just basically trying to do the player, right?”
lineage (lineage):
Robert Altman → Adam McKay.
Altman was one of the first directors to encourage ad-libbing, a trend followed by McKay, Apatow and PTA.
“there is this whole generation directors that follows Adam McKay, Apatow, Paul Thomas Anderson”
verdict (verdict):
The Player → The Bonfire of the Vanities.
The quoted review calls The Player the movie Bonfire of the Vanities wanted to be, and the hosts agree; Wesley followed the Bonfire saga before seeing it.
career (career):
Brion James → Striking Distance.
Bill remembers him from cable as Bruce Willis's nemesis in Striking Distance, which spins into a Rowdy Herrington week idea.
“In my house growing up, he was Bruce Willis's like arch nemesis in striking distance.”
programming (programming):
Striking Distance → Road House.
Bill pitches a Rowdy Herrington week for the show covering Road House and Striking Distance.
theme (theme):
The Player → Pretty Woman.
The recurring pitch-as-mashup joke (Out of Africa meets Pretty Woman) and the running Julia Roberts and Bruce Willis casting gag.
“How Julia Roberts and Bruce Willis get suggested for every movie is just a funny running bit.”
career (career):
Tim Robbins → The Shawshank Redemption.
The Player is a step in Robbins's run from Bull Durham to Shawshank, and two years from Dead Man Walking.
“I think Robin needed this for his Bull Durham, to the player, to Shawshank”
career (career):
Tim Robbins → Dead Man Walking.
Robbins directed Sean Penn in Dead Man Walking; the hosts trace the Scacchi/D'Onofrio/Leila George/Sean Penn six degrees.
“Tim Robbins directed Sean Penn in the movie Dead Man Walking.”
what-if (what-if):
Robert De Niro → The Player.
Bill proposes De Niro in the Fred Ward part, overqualified, as the right-era move after Goodfellas and Cape Fear.
“Could he have just played the Fred Ward part for like 4 scenes.”
what-if (what-if):
Jennifer Jason Lee → The Player.
Bill says the Bonnie part, instead of Cynthia Stevenson, has Jennifer Jason Lee written all over it; the others disagree.
“it just has Jennifer Jason Lee crying all over it.”
people (people):
The Player → Presumed Innocent.
Bill's memory of falling for Greta Scacchi in Presumed Innocent frames why he finds her Player character underwritten; Scacchi refused nudity after Presumed Innocent.
“Skocky's like, I fucking went to town on Harrison Ford and presumed innocent.”
fun, about
Craig Kilborn:
Kilborn appears in both aged-the-best and aged-the-worst: a thrill to see him, but visibly terrified, reading lines like Daily Show jokes; he gets the Al Martino (worst actor) award.
“He's in 2 scenes, and then he crashes in the closing credits.”
fun, about
Old School:
Whole-soundtrack rundown: Papered Up, Dust in the Wind, Hungry Like the Wolf, Sound of Silence, Total Eclipse of the Heart, Metallica; Whitesnake's 'Here I Go Again' is played four times.
fun, about
Old School 2 (unmade sequel script):
A 2006 sequel script, 'Old School Dose', about an aging frat on spring break, was written by Scott Armstrong and refused by Ferrell and Vaughn as too repetitive; Luke Wilson said in 2016 he would do it.
“Luke Wilson was game saying, I, of course, would do it at the drop of a hat.”
fun, about
Will Ferrell:
Ferrell really ran naked in the streaking sequence, horrifying locals at a 24-hour gym; the second part filmed during the Snoop performance and he needed a drink first.
“In the streaking sequence, Will Ferrell ran naked for real.”
fun, about
Patrick Cranshaw:
Blue was played by Patrick Cranshaw, a 50-year working actor who was the sheriff in all the Air Bud movies and died about four years after the film.
“although I will say he played the sheriff in all the Airbud movies.”
fun, about
Old School:
Half-ass internet research: the frat house is a real Pasadena house on Bushnell Avenue, also used in Back to the Future, Back to the Future Part II, and Teen Wolf. Bill stumps the others with a quiz.
fun, about
Luke Wilson:
Chris Ryan's hot take that Luke Wilson was in the Harrison Ford zone and could have been an action star becomes a running bit; the others call it among the worst takes ever and joke about a Luke Wilson Fugitive.
fun, about
Patrick Fischler:
Joey Pants Award: the Mad Men guy, Piven's henchman, is Patrick Fischler; they mention Patrick Adams, star of Suits, playing guitar during Dust in the Wind as an alternate.
“That's how you win the Joey Pants Award, and I have no idea what your name is.”
fun, about
Old School:
Bill's wedding-toast tangent: he wants a TV show or YouTube channel of brutal best-man speeches and tells of watching a wedding from a Torrey Pines hotel balcony with a bottle of wine.
fun, about
Old School:
Unanswerable question: who is the 2019 Craig Kilborn? Suggestions include Logan Paul, Joe Buck, Gus Johnson, Jim Nantz, Jeff Van Gundy, Trevor Noah, and Jalen Rose.
fun, about
Tombstone:
Most rewatchable scene candidates: the 'Hell's coming with me' scene and killing montage, the creek shootout, and Kilmer vs Biehn.
“That scene, followed by a montage of just them killing people.”
fun, about
George P. Cosmatos:
Running joke after the ghost-director story: someone claims credit for the role swap between Biehn and Rooker now that Cosmatos is dead.
“But I was the one who told him to switch roles with Michael Riffle, Michael Bean.”
fun, about
Taken:
Simmons's dad, a school superintendent near Boston, called action movies a 5 o'clocker: the 5 o'clock showing he caught on the way home to turn his brain off. Taken is called the quintessential 5 o'clocker.
“I would say taken is the quintessential 5 o'clocker.”
fun, about
Taken:
Simmons remembers the trailer, which was nearly the whole phone speech, airing between the second and third quarter of a Texans-Pats game. He asked: what is this, where can I see this.
“you're like what? What is this? Where can I see this?”
fun, about
Liam Neeson:
Pre-Taken Neeson was Schindler, Kinsey, Michael Collins, Woody Allen and Scorsese movies, so no one expected karate in Paris. His 6'4" frame matters more than you notice because films usually make everyone look the same size.
“This was not somebody we expected to see like doing karate in Paris.”
fun, about
Taken:
The perfect 5 o'clocker can be described in five words or less: Liam Neeson, daughter gets taken. Neeson's later films do the same: wilderness wolves, airplane, train conspiracy.
“I love action movies where you can describe the plot in 5 words or less.”
fun, about
Taken:
The movie's biggest lesson, per the hosts: don't let your daughter go to Europe unless you're there, and don't sit behind a desk or you'll forget the weight of a gun.
“And the biggest lesson of this movie is you get soft behind a desk.”
fun, about
Taken:
Aged worst: every non-American foreigner is a kidnapper, and two teenage girls lying to their parents to follow U2 around Europe in 2008, when the band was in their late 50s. Simmons's wife's counter: every young white woman loves U2.
fun, about
Taken:
Nitpick: every other kidnapped woman is a heroin zombie, but Kim is out of it only a little, then bounces back in two weeks, cheery, with no emotional distress, ready for a pop-star singing lesson.
fun, about
Liam Neeson:
Neeson expected Taken to go straight to video and spent four months in Paris learning karate. Neeson also says American parents thanked him and he tells them the danger was exaggerated and to travel more.
“Liam Neeson expected this movie to go straight to video.”
fun, about
Famke Janssen:
Trivia from internet research: Janssen, who played the incompetent ex-wife, now serves as a Goodwill Ambassador for the UN office on drugs and crime, inspired by Taken.
“She now serves as the Goodwill Ambassador for the United Nations office on drugs and crime.”
fun, about
Bill Simmons:
Simmons's worst parenting moment: while watching Kevin Durant at Texas, his toddler Zoe walked out the open front door at night, and a stranger in a stopped car brought her back.
“I'm like, I can't, but Kevin Durant has given it to AC.”
fun, about
Maggie Grace:
Reportedly trained by running coach Alberto Salazar to run like a younger girl. Both hosts note she runs like a toddler and acts nine at seventeen, though she was older than the role.
“she very clearly runs like a toddler in the movie.”
fun, about
Taken:
Body count debate: Brian kills 31 people, or 35. Apex Mountain goes to Neeson for becoming an action star in his mid-50s, and to Maggie Grace, for whom it never got better than this.
“You became an action movie and your action movie star in your mid-50s.”
fun, about
Taken:
Wrong-day question: the pop-star assassin picked the one night Brian guarded her, but the sheik, who just bought the wrong daughter, had the worst luck of all.
fun, about
Taken:
Nitpicks: Jean-Claude carries an unwrapped baguette; the kidnappers left the destroyed phone behind but locked the door; Neeson recognizes Marco's voice from two words, good luck.
“Can you really recognize a specific Albanian's voice just by having them repeat the words good luck?”
fun, about
Taken:
Best quotes besides the speech: it's a flesh wound; now's not the time for dick measuring, Stuart; and the line about forgetting the weight in the hand of a gun. The stepdad Stuart did nothing but supply the jet.
“Now's not the time for dick measuring, Stuart. Classic.”
fun, about
Taken:
The elaborate auction with red buttons probably does not exist as portrayed; Simmons jokes about a sex-slave auction draft guide. Movie auctions are always downstairs, as in Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom's dinosaur auction.
fun, about
Taken:
Who won the movie: Neeson, and the 5 o'clocker itself, which streaming services will now make and own, producing many more Taken-style movies, like Braven.
“That's that's way more of an insightful thing than I was expecting to happen on this taken podcast.”
fun, about
The Departed:
Casting what-ifs: Pitt (producer) was Damon's part, Liotta then Leary for Dignam, Pacino for Costello, De Niro for Sheen's part, Gibson for Baldwin's.
“Brad Pitt was supposed to be Damon's part dropped out, ended up producing the movie.”
fun, about
The Departed:
Worst-aged plot point winner: Damon texting a long message from inside his pocket on a flip phone, the triple crown of texting.
fun, about
Mark Boone Junior:
That Guy Award: Boggs from Shawshank, who led the sisters, plays Delahunt here; Simmons backs Kevin Corrigan as Costigan's cousin.
“Boggs from Shawshank has a key role in this movie.”
fun, about
Jack Nicholson:
Half-assed research: Nicholson reportedly refused to wear a Red Sox hat and banned Celtics gear on the set, and he and Ray Winstone did not get along.
“Nicholson refused to wear a Red Sox hat during the filming and banned all Celtic Cats on the set.”
fun, about
Martin Sheen:
Idea: keep Sheen's hangdog acting but cut to reaction shots when he talks and dub in the accent coach, as supposedly done on Ozark.
“I almost think they should have done this from Martin Sheen.”
fun, about
The Departed:
The film's biggest ridiculous plot points: Leo's roof plan, the invented Boston State House apartment view, the rat on the balcony.
“Why didn't anyone talk Scorsese out of the rat on the balcony at the tail end?”
fun, about
The Departed:
Best lines: cranberry juice, 'Maybe, maybe not', 'We all are. Let's act accordingly', and 'The world needs plenty of bartenders. 2 weeks with pay.'
“And then uh, the world needs plenty of bartenders.”
fun, about
Mark Wahlberg:
Rule of A-Listers: when someone gets punched, it evens out later. Damon punched Wahlberg, who got payback by shooting him at the end.
“the rule of A-Listers is that if somebody gets punched, you get to punt, there's it always ends even.”
fun, about
Saving Private Ryan:
Bill saw it in a full theater in Boston; people were shaking when the barrage calmed down, like witnessing a car crash.