Calls Last Temptation his college-era favorite Scorsese; loves Scorsese's smaller 80s and the film's closing transcendence and Gabriel score. Cannot stand fundamentalist outrage at it. A sucker for casting trivia and Tom Cruise-silliness.
Stances
Hot take: Last Temptation structurally mirrors New York, New York as a better version
Outrage over the film is stupid; it is respectful to Jesus
Scorsese's smaller 80s work beats his later baroque phases
Humor: Riffs and character bits on the Willem de ___ names and ongoing running gags.
In their words
“I find the ending so incredibly movie.” (0:19:45)
Loves quirky or deep-cut cinema and playful franchise lore (Muppets, Species, Pink Panther sequels), and enjoys the abjectly stressful pool-hall world. Is a sucker for movie-star mannerisms and for fan trivia. Cannot stand Cars 2 or Zemeckis's Pinocchio.
Stances
Color of Money is a stabilizer, not a pure paycheck gig
Cars is bad and indefensible; Cars 2 is worse
Wants Lorraine Bracco redeemed via a Goodfellas episode
Adds stabilizer to the Blank Check lexicon
Humor: Rapid pop-culture riffing and running bits, playing unpredictably with franchise absurdities and mock-serious proposals.
In their words
“But stabilizer is a term we haven't used before. And you're right. Let's add it to the lexicon” (0:19:50)
“Cars is Doc Hollywood basically beat for beat.” (0:07:08)
Treats After Hours as a personal vibe movie and loves oddball details, Scorsese lore and downtown New York. Fond of Pee-wee and Griffin Dunn, plays bits about being named after Dunn. Cannot stand wasteful nostalgia and hates auto-flush toilets.
Stances
After Hours is a downtown, very Griffin movie
Modern remakes fail because phones and piled-up incident ruin it
Wicked 2 killed Wicked
Humor: Deadpan bits that run on, mock outrage, and wordplay about the Griffin theme.
In their words
“This movie also, let's just say, is very much reflective of my temperament.” (0:07:22)
A film completist who loves the weird 1980 corners of the box office and the Scorsese-De Niro dynamic. Cannot stand Jimmy Doyle as a date and worries about Hollywood executives. A sucker for obscure titles and good trivia and for Casavetes.
Stances
Raging Bull is a funny tragedy
Studio decisions based on metrics are ruining movies
Scorsese uses comedy to implicate the audience
Humor: Playful, riffing, bit-prone, with running gags like Hollywood 3.0.
In their words
“We've coined Hollywood 3.0 today for to describe just like the fucking nonsense that goes on day to day.” (0:13:41)
“The problem is those people who make the decisions now are like, it's like saber metrics.” (1:35:40)
He came to the film bored at 14 (no monsters or puppets) and now respects it without it being his kind of movie; he adores Peter Weir's craft, Pirates of the Caribbean-era trivia and Oscar and career-arc analysis. He is a sucker for genre-bending Weir details and franchise history.
Stances
Revisited the film and understands its value though it is not innately his kind
Pirates of the Caribbean hurt this movie
Insists on playing the box office game
Weir is a patient director
Humor: Self-deprecating, quick riffs, bits about his own childhood tastes.
In their words
“It is innately not my kind of film, but I was not disengaged from it in the way I was as a 14 year old.” (0:36:16)
Loves physical media, 4K steelbooks, and calling unlikely films masterpieces. Prone to over-planning and lateness. An anxious flyer who relies on Klonopin and researches crashes. Has a blind spot for studio comedies he has not seen.
Stances
Fearless is excellent but not a three-hour oil-drilling episode
movies are great again
Small Soldiers and Sliver defended as masterpieces by friends
Humor: Rapid-fire riffs, self-roasts, and elaborate hypothetical bits.
In their words
“They announce they announce small soldiers 4K steel book. and I go, obviously, inarguable masterpiece.” (1:00:59)
A heavy researcher who comes with a 'dossier' of production history, interview quotes and box-office data, and loves Coens details, McDormand and Macy's performances, and deep-cut trivia. He is a sucker for the Mike Yanagita scene and the film's tonal balance, and delights in the weekly box-office game.
Stances
Fargo is the best encapsulation of the Coens, the way Blue Velvet is of Lynch
Macy should have been nominated for lead
Searches for essays-worthy meaning in the editing choices
Defends Jurassic Park III
Humor: Dry, bit-driven, and loves a running gag about podcast mechanics and Ben.
In their words
“I'm going to open the dossier now” (0:40:11)
“directing is about tone management.” (0:32:35)
“Okay, now I need to sidebar here for a 2nd because David and I are both Jurassic Park 3 defenders” (1:19:12)
Loves puppet-baby and in-utero comedy, rewatching movies on Letterboxd, and weird Blu-ray ephemera. He is a Shelley Long Cheers loyalist who was cool on Kirstie Alley until this movie, and has a parent's eye on infant safety. He prefers movies that feel made by one person.
Stances
The in-utero Mikey is peak comedy and the infant middle is lazy
Authorship is the show's central criterion for a director
Rebecca-era Cheers was a shadow of the show
Humor: Escalating riffs and tangents (Rugrats connections, Renaissance prequel pitch) delivered in dry mock-formal register.
In their words
“I think this is both such a good movie star performance from him and such a great example of what I would call a movie star movie” (0:37:06)
“everything about this feels like it was made by one person.” (1:49:39)
Passionate about Spielberg's autobiographical psychology and Oscar-race history; loves Lincoln, Catch Me If You Can, ensemble casts, and Malkovich as a flavor. Cannot stand Always and Spielberg's pure comedies; a sucker for deep-dive trivia and dossier research.
Stances
Empire is a very good movie where Spielberg starts subverting his own style
Fabelmans explains Spielberg's trauma
1941 and Always are weak spots
Spielberg suffers from being compared to his own canon
Humor: Self-aware riffs, callbacks, and long absurd comparisons (sun-dried tomatoes on a sandwich), plus bits about Ben's resolutions.
In their words
“I think this movie's excellent.” (0:38:38)
“He's sun dried tomatoes on a sandwich.” (0:01:21)
“I do not have a single happy memory of my childhood.” (1:52:20)
Came to Indiana Jones late, via box sets before Crystal Skull, and prefers Last Crusade for its silent-comedy streak, with reservations about Temple of Doom. Fascinated by how movies were made and by fandom history; a sucker for Spielberg staging, action craft and comics-era nostalgia.
Stances
Raiders is a lightning-in-a-bottle movie the sequels cannot recapture
Modern action imitators reverse-engineer surface elements
Treats Crystal Skull as half working
Humor: Does self-aware impressions and cranky-David riffs, mixes film nerd rigor with asides.
In their words
“Whereas I think, you know, David and I always felt like weird kids were we were paying attention to this at a time when like people were not.” (0:17:08)
He is the first-time Return viewer on this episode, so his taste shows in reactions: he loves Lynch's plainness, simple low-tech tricks and the sense that reality is ripping apart. He wants spoiler-free viewing, the proper Criterion/box-set version, and cannot stand being told to read recaps. A sucker for bits and for a gift-worthy game of ratings guessing.
Stances
Wants to be unspoiled and refuses to read recaps or the behind-the-scenes documentary yet
Treats Part 8 as hypnotic and nearly unsummarizable until the others explain it
Believes in extended bits (Wonka 2, Gethard cut) over discussion
Humor: He builds long running bits and follows riffs to absurd conclusions, sometimes holding straight faces.
In their words
“I'm going to ask dumb questions because you guys have been thinking on these things for years, if not decades, and I'm new to all of this, right?” (1:09:38)
“I felt like I, as a viewer, had like lost control of my point of view watching.” (0:52:12)
Reads the show's research dossier aloud and loves film-history trivia, particularly how directors get hired and what the studios did to them. Identified from lines addressed to him and dossier reads; many individual attributions with David are uncertain. Enjoys the Dune film as a design and sound object.
Stances
Dune '84 is fascinating as the one bounce that redirected Lynch's career
Respects the dossier's production details over speculation
Humor: Dry riffing and callbacks, running bits with Ben and the dossier-researcher JJ.
In their words
“So in the dossier, David.” (1:05:21)
“JJ, while we were recording, texted David and I hope the Dune dossier still made sense once you reach the deeper pages, LOL.” (2:29:32)
Loves plot-driven noir, weird procedural details (chain mail gloves, pockets, eyedrops) and Park's stranger visual gags. He prepares the director-biography research and box-office game. Is a sucker for bits that run for minutes, like the sand-beach and Wheel of Fortune riffs.
Stances
Park's best scenes are the quietly bizarre ones, ten per film
Decision to Leave works because the hero cannot see her directly
Likes long-running meta bits more than the ad-reads
Humor: Absurdist escalation and puns, running a single detail (chain mail, sand beach) into the ground.
In their words
“Okay, so yeah, let's talk about the plot of the movie. Guy falls off a mountain.” (0:54:04)
“Oh, can I just Shout out to she, young Kim.” (1:34:01)
Treats Sherlock Jr. as a perfect film and loves seeing silent comedy in a theater, where he says it transformed him at CalArts. Prefers Chaplin's One A.M. to his features, and is a sucker for meta jokes about film language and for Cabin Boy-style references. He sours on The Navigator's cannibal-island finale for its racism.
Stances
Sherlock Jr. is one of the best movies ever made and a contender for best film covered on the show
Certain films must be seen in a theater with an audience
Short runtimes of 40 to 50 minutes suit these comedies best
The Navigator is Keaton in play-the-hits mode and the racist finale kills it
Humor: Riffs on running bits and pop-culture parallels, then happily trips himself up in his own jokes.
In their words
“which, for my money, is still the best thing Chaplain ever did, over his features.” (0:58:42)
“you can watch rear window at home and appreciate it.” (1:00:20)
“Chris Elliott and Adam Resnick's cabin boy is such a Buster Keaton setup.” (1:51:04)
Loves Selick's visual inventiveness and thinks Wendell & Wild eventually satisfies despite its density; steeped in film-business history and trivia. Defends big sci-fi blockbusters with heavy exposition like Inception and Avatar. Rankings: Nightmare 1, Coraline 2, Peach 3, Wendell & Wild 4, Monkeybone 5.
Stances
Wendell & Wild works in spite of itself
Netflix botched the release
Nightmare edges Coraline on the ranking
Monkeybone is an odd, likable bad object
Humor: Riffs on streaming-era absurdity and takes self-aware swipes at the show's own running gags.
In their words
“I do think it is cohesive by the end of the movie.” (1:54:06)
“I would say it works in spite of itself.” (1:53:03)
Respects the craft of Fosse and defends Star 80 as powerful and aware of its own evil, while admitting it nearly unbearable. Loves the structural play of Fosse's films and Alan Ladd-era filmmaker faith. Cannot endorse or recommend Star 80, hates the soundtrack and dwells on true-crime and victim culture.
Stances
Star 80 is great but almost unwatchable and not recommendable
Fosse is underrated as a filmmaker
Fosse hates himself and does not seek forgiveness
Ranks Cabaret first with All That Jazz a close second
Humor: Self-deprecating, dark and quick, with pop-culture riffs and jokes about his own podcast.
In their words
“I think this movie is like staring into the sun.” (0:04:19)
“He, I do think, is incredibly underrated as a as a filmmaker.” (0:05:55)
Loves the film's elusive, memory-like childhood section and its refusal to explain itself; is invested in Campion's research quotes and festival lore. Can't stand the bedsheet-to-armpits sex scene and heavy-handed biopic cliches. A sucker for oddball 90s trivia like FX2 and Brian Bosworth.
Stances
The film should be a movie, not a three-part TV series
Likes biopics that focus on one slice of life
Wants to protect young Janet and root for her
Collects odd details and quotes from Campion interviews
Humor: Self-deprecating and digressive, jokes about his own obsessions and failures.
In their words
“I was so like moonlight pilled watching this movie” (0:20:22)
“I just wanted to protect her in this sort of 1st half of the movie.” (0:51:46)
Loves classic-Hollywood trivia, obsessive research dossiers, practical effects and the unfussy craft of Bridges' performance. Worships Dean Cundy and wishes he had shot Starman. Cannot stand overstuffed jukebox movies like the Amazon Cinderella. A sucker for Moulin Rouge, Romeo + Juliet and Oscar-clip nostalgia.
Stances
Starman is a good dorky movie; the poster and home-video art are bad
Cundy would have made it better
Carpenter's unsentimental filmmaking helped it age well
Coppola should make Megalopolis now
Humor: Riffs on voices, absurd imagined scenes and dad jokes, then goes deep on obscure Hollywood trivia.
In their words
“I love a road trip movie.” (1:33:30)
“I'm trying to do Jeff Bridges in this movie” (0:04:43)
Loves a good character-driven film with specificity and is a sucker for franchise action (Mission: Impossible) and spirited bad-movie obsessions. Can't stand Joy and Jason Reitman's tone-deaf fan-service sequels, and gets wary when a movie loses its human focus.
Stances
Ricki and the Flash is a good premise executed poorly
Defends Tully until its twist
Blames some Demme decisions for Ricki's flatness
Humor: Quick pop-culture riffs, fake-announcer bits and absurd puns, often at his own expense.
In their words
“Jason Reitman has given Ghostbusters back to the fans.” (0:02:48)
“I was like, we need to ban children from films forever.” (0:05:16)
Loves practical movie-making and visible seams, and gets emotionally floored by sincere pictures like The Farewell and Spirited Away. Cannot stand dense plotting without a map, gun fetishism, and 'Western catharsis'. A sucker for John Wick, Keanu Reeves, heroic dogs, and a perfect sandwich.
Stances
Nausicaä is busy and he would like it better in sequence after Lupin, Cagliostro and Sky
John Wick: Chapter 3 is the best Wick and one of the year's best
Practical animation cheats are charming, not a flaw
Dubs are fine and he regrets not using the dub for the plot
Humor: Self-deprecating, tangential, and bit-driven, he tends to run an absurd joke (the Disney Store greeter, Galactus-sized puppeteer) until the others stop him.
In their words
“I love practical shit. I love the seams of movie making, you know?” (0:55:15)
“this movie doesn't understand that this is fucked up now.” (1:37:12)
“I think it's maybe the best work of Keanu's entire career.” (1:50:14)
Their shows' recurring bits
Running bits, not opinions; a critic read aloud is cited, not present.
The Big Picture
Drafts: Hosts and guests draft films in rounds; every pick is a recommendation with an argument.
Hall of Fame: A star's or director's best, ranked and argued.
Countdowns: Ranked lists, top five or top ten.
Blank Check with Griffin & David
The box office game: Guessing the film's opening weekend and what it was up against.
The sung theme: "Blank Check with Griffin and David", sung; the transcriber garbles it.
Their claims
Showing 801–900 of 1,162 claims.
craft (craft):
Old Dogs → Chariots of Fire.
The pioneer-weekend games use the Chariots of Fire theme as a gag for audiences who know it.
lineage (lineage):
Old Dogs → Moonrise Kingdom.
A host jokes that Moonrise Kingdom, three years later, is what made scouts cool, after the Old Dogs scout weekend.
“So you're saying Moonrise Kingdom made scouts cooling?”
theme (theme):
Old Dogs → Friday the 13th (parts 1-3).
The kids' Friday the 13th rule joke pays off in the film: they watch part three because Jason does not wear the mask until then.
“But this is not parts one or two because Jason doesn't wear the mask till three.”
programming (programming):
Old Dogs → Tangled.
Disney released Tangled the next year on the same Thanksgiving weekend, which became its animated slot (Frozen, Moana).
“A year later, they released Tangled the same weekend, and then this becomes the weekend they released their biggest animated film of the year.”
programming (programming):
Old Dogs → The Twilight Saga: New Moon.
Old Dogs opened fourth, behind New Moon in its second week, The Blind Side and 2012.
people (people):
A Christmas Carol → Robert Zemeckis.
The box office quiz answer, a 2009 holiday film in a director miniseries, is Zemeckis' A Christmas Carol.
lineage (lineage):
The Batman → Batman Forever / Batman & Robin.
Griffin says Schumacher's Batman films are directly shaped by the Adam West show's pairing and cliffhanger style.
“Joel Schumacher is very influenced by the Adam West show.”
lineage (lineage):
The Dark Knight Rises → Tim Drake.
Nolan's Robin take is basically Tim Drake, and a speaker wishes it had been 10 percent more obvious.
“And I wish Nolan had just gone 10%, you know, more obvious with it.”
contrast (contrast):
The Batman → Spider-Man (franchise).
Spider-Man has the second-best rogues gallery but its villains read as criminals with a gimmick, while Batman villains are insane.
lineage (lineage):
The Batman → Batman Forever.
Burton had a plane and a boat which Schumacher updated in Batman Forever; Batman & Robin gave Robin a motorcycle.
programming (programming):
The Batman → The Sound of Music.
A UK sing-along Sound of Music (Prince Charles Theater) turned into a Rocky Horror-style costume event.
industry (industry):
Summit Entertainment → Bill Condon.
Summit met Bill Condon, Gus Van Sant and Sofia Coppola to tackle the last two films (Breaking Dawn split in two); Condon got the job.
“the 3 people Summit met with to tackle the last 2 movies, the one book split into two, were Bill Condon”
craft (craft):
The Twilight Saga: Eclipse → The Twilight Saga: New Moon.
Eclipse was shot by Javier Aguirresarobe, who also shot New Moon, and the speakers find Eclipse similar-looking to New Moon, only more lush and autumnal.
“Uh, Javier, Agriaska Robe. I, you know, I, I, who shot New Moon.”
programming (programming):
John Carpenter → Danny DeVito.
Carpenter win means 18 weeks of scheduling; DeVito means about 6 weeks, leaving room for more miniseries.
“Some people want someone like Carpenter to win so they can control 18 weeks of our scheduling.”
lineage (lineage):
Alien: Covenant → Prometheus.
Covenant is half the Prometheus sequel Scott wanted and half a concession to a more normal Alien movie.
“this is half, like Ridley Scott doing the Prometheus sequel he wanted to do and half”
industry (industry):
Alien: Covenant → Prometheus.
Prometheus's marketing left it unclear whether it was an Alien film; Covenant's marketing was the opposite, selling the Alien iconography.
“how much of this is going to be directly an alien franchise film or not”
contrast (contrast):
Alien: Covenant → Alien.
Alien films usually give a calm before the storm in hypersleep; Covenant throws you straight into trauma.
“rather than ever getting the sort of calm before the storm that you usually get an alien movies”
career (career):
Danny McBride → Halloween (franchise).
After this he moved into the Halloween franchise and HBO series to make the genre work he wanted.
“And then after this, he's like, I'm the Halloween guy.”
craft (craft):
Alien: Covenant → The Lord of the Rings.
New Zealand locations can't replicate what Peter Jackson did with it in Lord of the Rings, but still look like a newer earth.
“you can never replicate the total stunning magic trick of Peter Jackson, like deploying it in Lord of the Rings”
contrast (contrast):
Alien: Covenant → H.R. Giger.
The neomorph in Covenant lacks the Giger biomechanical kibble, with a more human, translucent-skinned look.
“He does not have all of the HR Geiger biomechanical kibble all over his body.”
craft (craft):
Alien: Covenant → The Hobbit films.
Acting to tennis balls on a green screen was exhausting for The Tick, and people say it was easy because of the Hobbit movies.
“they do this shit with like the Hobbit movies, right?”
programming (programming):
Crocodile Dundee → Crocodile Dundee II.
Next Patreon miniseries: the three Crocodile Dundee films, skipping a made-up Great Mr. Dundee.
career (career):
Jean-Pierre Jeunet → Delicatessen.
Griffin was shown Delicatessen and City of Lost Children by his French mother before Resurrection let him down.
“She had absolutely made me watch, uh, Delicatessen and City of Lost Children at this point”
programming (programming):
The Hunchback of Notre Dame → Lon Chaney.
Griffin pitches a Patreon series doing all the Hunchback of Notre Dame movies, including the Lon Chaney version.
fun, about
The Lego Batman Movie:
Robin has not figured out Batman and Bruce Wayne are the same person: Bruce Wayne lives in Batman's attic, and Batman says Bruce told him it's okay to hang out.
“he has to be like, uh, Bruce told me it's okay for you to hang out with me.”
fun, about
The Lego Batman Movie:
Animators keep the Lego limits: arms rotate and swing but never bend, though shoulders may dislocate to cross the chest.
“but they'll let the entire arm sort of like remove from the body and turn inwards.”
fun, about
Lego (company):
Lego ruled the 90s by building its own mythologies each year, with Johnny Thunder as its Indiana Jones hero, before the 1999 Star Wars deal.
“There's Johnny Thunder, who is their attempt to create like an Indiana Jones style hero”
fun, about
The Lego Batman Movie:
A listener built Lego versions of the hosts; the builder, Dave Colletta, became a top contestant on Lego Masters, which Arnett hosts.
“And the guy who built the figures of us became like one of the best contestants on this fucking show.”
fun, about
The Lego Batman Movie:
Phantom Zone includes Sauron as a talking tower, Voldemort turning people to fish, the Wicked Witch, a Gremlin crew, and a Creature from the Black Lagoon.
fun, about
The Lego Batman Movie:
Griffin argues the movie is a flawed pick for David because the IP cameos are shallow; the villains get little screen time.
fun, about
Doctor Who:
Griffin explains a Dalek: it's a garbage can with a plunger because, per him, an arm went missing and a bathroom plunger replaced it.
“they were missing an arm and they took a plunger out of the bathroom.”
fun, about
Old Dogs:
After Justin Long's scout troop shoots a statue's head off, they burn it down and get kicked out.
“After shooting the head off the statue, they stayed there long enough for the sun to go down to light the whole thing on fire, and then they were kicked out.”
fun, about
Griffin Newman:
Griffin's Supergirl bit: Burt Ward and other legends in the opening credits made viewers think Crisis would tie in The Tick.
“For 5 seconds, I think people thought Crisis on Infinite Earth was gonna tie in the tick universe.”
fun, about
Adam West and Frank Gorshin:
The legend that West and Gorshin went to a Hollywood orgy in character and were expelled for doing too many bits.
fun, about
Alien: Covenant:
The Franco footage cooks him alive and Griffin says the 10-second prologue would have made the film's emotional start stronger.
“you kind of really benefit from seeing him for 10 seconds alive, you know?”
fun, about
Danny McBride:
McBride went to film school wanting to write and direct, was cast in friends' films, never auditioned, and said Covenant was what he always wanted to do.
fun, about
The Tick:
Griffin recounts his hardest technical acting scene: Dr. Karamazov shrunk, shot against tennis balls on sticks then redone from his own recorded dialogue.
“the single most challenging thing I've ever had to do as an actor on a technical level is”
fun, about
Alien: Covenant:
Merchandise for the movie showed an earlier, practical-looking xenomorph design before the creature was redone in CGI late in production.
“All of the merchandise for this movie had an incorrect xenomorph design.”
fun, about
Alien Quadrilogy:
The 2003 DVD box set that David calls a word hardly used outside that box; Resurrection got a special edition about seven minutes longer.
“Quadrilogy, a word that has rarely been used outside of that one box.”
fun, about
You've Got Mail:
The fall leaves in the movie are CGI because they shot in the summer, per the commentary track by Ephron and Schuler Donner.
“They're like, all of the fall stuff is CGI, baby.”
fun, about
Dave Chappelle:
Chappelle delivers the odd line 'she has the same coloring as' that was written for an older Eastern European actor in the original.
“if you look up the actor who played the best friend role and shop around the corner, it's like an older Eastern European man with a mustache.”
fun, about
Tom Hanks:
The script supervisor fixed Hanks's block on the Lalo scene: he stays because he is trying to build the courage to say it is him.
“Your motivation, this scene, is you think if you stay longer, you'll finally build the courage to say it.”