Loves Zodiac as a masterpiece and the Fincher dossier details; the show's box-office fixer. Gets weirdly delighted by obsessive production detail (flashlight museum, typewriters). Has no patience for the studio logic of dumping films.
Stances
Zodiac is Fincher's best film and the best of a loaded 2007
Studios act irrationally against their own interests
Fincher is often called cold and later vindicated
Humor: Dry, deadpan banter and a running bit about reading the room as a podcast host.
In their words
“Okay, I'm going to read a thing while David's still in there.” (2:25:37)
“Leslie, I get some satisfaction out of the fact that I think people who listen to this show sometimes think that I'm like on my devices during this.” (2:20:30)
Loves music videos tied to movie soundtracks and the weirdly sincere Springfield video. Grew up on Disney cassettes, Hanson, and Celebrity Death Match era pop culture. Appreciates a sprawling, nonsensical video that sets up multiple characters.
Stances
Praises the Springfield Dance This World Away video as a favorite, then sours on it
Defends movie tie-in videos that interact with the film
Mocks Fincher's autopilot work on rock videos
Humor: Escalating bits and character voices, from the Beavis and Butt-Head shirt assignments to the fake Reddit thread.
In their words
“I think all 3 of these guys are me, but it's an ed ego super ego thing.” (0:22:01)
“I was in, uh, anything goes?” (1:15:38)
“Uh, no, Hanson Hanson was my favorite band at this point in time.” (2:08:42)
Obsessive movie nerd who tracked every upcoming film as a 13-year-old and has a soft spot for Kristen Stewart. Loves craft and box office lore, recoils from suspense that stresses him out.
Stances
Panic Room was built around Jodie Foster and defies logic otherwise
Fincher scaled back after the Fight Club flop
Humor: Runs bits on tangents like Studio 60, razor scooters, and Jared Leto.
In their words
“obsessively read every fucking dork website I could and thought I was ahead of the curve and knew every movie that was in the pipeline.” (0:26:32)
Is a movie-tie-in collector who grew up in Britain, did not see Fight Club until later, and was never the target of it. Loves a deep tie-in and a rights-clearing bit. Thinks the film is fine but not his formative one.
Stances
Not the film for him, but happy to talk about it
DVD and collector culture matters
Anti-ads bit as the through-line
Humor: Runs bits (no-ads fake-outs, Deadpool-cover Photoshops) and narrates posters.
In their words
“The reason I have to tap out of this is I grew up in Britain.” (0:15:19)
Loves 90s thrillers, character actors, and Fincher at his bleakest; the show's box-office quizzer. Leans toward Se7en over The Game and wishes the movie really gamed him. Bit-hungry about names, keys, and found trivia.
Stances
Admires Se7en more than The Game
Never feels gamed by the movie
Likes The Player and the Criterion disc
Humor: Fast, absurd riffing and gags built on the movie's props.
In their words
“I would argue that I, my beef with this movie is that I never feel like I am being gamed.” (0:45:08)
Loves grim, well-made thrillers and obsessive craft detail; reads the dossier and revels in production lore. Teases guests about their bits. Has a Tisch background and some gun-safety training from a film shoot.
Stances
Se7en is great and Fincher's control of a never-named city is the key choice
Fincher is a blank-check director
Pitt's need to prove himself is the performance
Humor: Driven by running bits, exact trivia, and deadpan fake interview impressions.
In their words
“You know what has happened?” (1:36:38)
“I did when I did gun safety training for Tomorrow War.” (2:08:57)
Loves a sequel that spits in the studio's eye, and the Alien 3 behind-the-scenes extras. Enjoys box-office-weekend trivia, poster taglines, and Fincher's DVD-era thoroughness. Speaker attribution in this transcript is mostly inferred, so these are low-confidence reads.
Stances
Alien 3 is a crowd-displeaser by design
On the assembly cut versus theatrical: leans theatrical, as a cleaner movie (low confidence on which host says it)
Humor: Running bits (the Santa Claus line, the wood planet, poster minutiae).
In their words
“Okay. I think the assembly cut is better while not being perfect.” (0:14:24)
“I really do have a preference here, and it is the dog” (1:21:48)
Loves Tim Burton's early work and defends late-period Burton, theme-park lore, box-office minutiae and Pixar-style craft. Can't stand studio condescension toward children and celebrity-casting logic. A sucker for sweaty, overworked names, bones, and unfashionable Disney touchstones.
Stances
Nightmare Before Christmas is a perfect movie that outlasts its ubiquity
Jack is an analog for artists trying to make commercial art
Studios underestimate children
Mrs. Doubtfire's box-office run deserves celebration
Humor: Sweaty-pun builds and deadpan escalation, riffing on bones and box-office numbers.
Obsessed with this film and calls it his favorite of the Kubrick set alongside Barry Lyndon. Loves box-office trivia and where he saw things. A sucker for the small perfect line readings and the Christmas-lights look.
Stances
Eyes Wide Shut is a masterpiece
Reputation has risen and it will climb the Sight and Sound list
Bill's journey is about the impossibility of not knowing
Humor: Escalating riffs and bits, from alternate podcast lines to sequel fantasies.
In their words
“I don't need to know what grows for you every time when you watch that scene.” (0:01:19)
Loves Doctor Sleep and the director's cut, and the idea that the sequel deepens The Shining. Treats Flanagan's patient, emotional horror as a plus and dislikes jump scares. A sucker for Rose the Hat as a villain and for the box office game.
Stances
Doctor Sleep is a great movie and rewatchable
jump scares are fake tension
legacy sequels usually just suck the steam from the original
Humor: Riffs and runs long on bits, such as the Rose the Hat biography and the Hunk Shoe sleep-train jokes.
In their words
“Now, I have to assume this is all conjecture on my part, okay?” (0:14:58)
Loves Kubrick's dark, mordant comedy and the Barry Lyndon, Shining and Eyes Wide Shut run, and tracks the casting and production legends behind Full Metal Jacket. Reads the dossier closely, likes award-season trivia and box office games.
Stances
Kubrick's humor works best when earnest performances sit at the center
Ermey was a surprising Oscar snub
ranks Strangelove low among Kubrick's funny films
Humor: Deadpan, quotes the film back at itself and lets the guests run riffs.
In their words
“I, I, I rank Strange Love lower in the pack of movies I find funny by him.” (1:36:54)
“Now, which your answer is do it to children.” (0:15:10)
Loves Kubrick trivia, research-dossier detail, and the show's long-running bits; fascinated by how Altman's company shaped Shelley Duvall. Sensitive to anyone mishandling his catchphrases. A sucker for a Draft Day story and the box office game.
Stances
Stephen King's objections were a reaction to being shown himself
Kubrick's many takes need to be separated from cruelty
Would rather talk about the movie than its cultural weight
Humor: Pedantic riffs and teasing, usually at David's or Tim's expense.
Loves Barry Lyndon as one of his favorite movies and finds the humor in Kubrick more than the austerity. Sentimental about the film's warmth and its devastating last act, especially as a parent. A sucker for the film's absurd rules (duels, class) and for production lore.
Stances
Barry Lyndon is a comedy and Kubrick's warmest film
O'Neal is perfect in the part
Barry stays mysterious without an inner monologue
Humor: Plays it dry and jokey, leaning into modern analogies and bits.
In their words
“I feel like this was the epitome of when the critical community was like, yeah, Kubrick makes like coffee table books.” (0:07:58)
Likes genre craft and unvarnished big swings; enjoys box-office-game trivia and Kubrick lore. Dislikes pretension without payoff. Hosts wallow in sequel-hubris jokes.
Stances
2010 is respectable and watchable, not a masterpiece
Hyams not aping Kubrick was the smart move
Humor: Riffs on fake headlines and extended bits, with a dry, deflating tone.
Loves Kubrick's looseness and humor and wants to demolish the cold-genius myth. Resents the mythology built around him and the attitude of Kubrick guys. Is a sucker for comedy bits, Simpsons-grade jokes, and cinema trivia like the box-office game.
Stances
Kubrick is not a humorless perfectionist; he was elastic with actors and loved improvisation
The mythology around Kubrick makes the films less interesting
Held the line that the bits should continue
Humor: Runs long, escalating bits and puns, and pins running gags like hip hop Sims for later payoff.
In their words
“the more people try to put Kubrick in this, like, alien box, the less interesting I find him.” (0:36:11)
“I don't think of myself as a Kubert guy, is because of how much I resent the mythology that's built around him” (0:43:58)
A Kubrick-series host who rewatched the films in order and found the 2001 rewatch surprisingly brisk. Loves the slow-sci-fi tradition including Star Trek The Motion Picture, and is moved by the ending's dread. A sucker for production lore from the dossier.
Stances
Reevaluating Kubrick as funny
2001 is a brisk watch despite the slowness
Likes slow sci-fi like Star Trek TMP
AI rights may never be granted
Humor: Shifts between bits and earnest observations; lands jokes about the guest and podcast logistics.
In their words
“I found it a surprisingly brisk watch.” (0:36:31)
“I love the slowness of motion picture.” (0:44:04)
“My question is, do we ever grant them rights?” (0:48:01)
Loves Strangelove's dry delivery and Peter Sellers' underplayed Mandrake, and watched it as a comedy-obsessed kid through the AFI 100 Laughs list. Skeptical of Adam McKay's recent satire and of Don't Look Up's tag. A sucker for movie lists, titles and bits like podcast series names.
Stances
Mandrake may be the funniest of the three Sellers roles
The film's seriousness is what makes every joke funnier
Don't Look Up's ending works but its tag undercuts it
Podswide Cast was first pitch, best pitch
Humor: Escalates a bit with mock-grandiose confidence and wounded-pride deadpan.
In their words
“Podswide cast, it was like 1st pitch, best pitch, I just said we're fucking going with this.” (0:07:42)
“Mandrake talking about being captured by the Japanese is the funniest part of this whole movie.” (0:11:32)
“I watched this because AFI in the year 2000 did their 100 years, 100 laughs” (0:28:13)
Reread the book and finds it brilliantly written; an enthusiast of Kubrick on a big screen and of Sellers in Strangelove. Compares movies to a wide pop-culture range (Nope, Hail, Caesar!, The Lobster). Believes the Lolita poster beats the film.
Stances
The poster and tagline are better than the movie
The film's tone is wildly inconsistent but absorbing
Kubrick's films are best seen in a theater
Humor: Rapid-fire riffs, mock-pomposity and long tangents.
In their words
“I stand by it.” (1:38:12)
“Poster eats this movie's lunch.” (1:33:57)
“I hate watching his Kubrick movies at home.” (0:45:39)
Leans on the dossier and the Kubrick-era history; loves tidy business-and-career stories and the Blank Check 'guarantor' framing. Likes bits about stars and their careers. (Speaker attribution within the transcript is inferred; confidence is moderate.)
Stances
Spartacus is Kubrick's guarantor: the hit that gave him the blank check
Kubrick was a pain but the work stands out
Humor: Rapid riffs and impressions on the episode's running bits.
In their words
“Today we are covering Spartacus, which is what we like to call a guarantor.” (0:26:58)
“This is the film that gives them the blank check that they run off of for the rest of their career.” (0:27:03)
Admires well-made war films but finds them panic-inducing; prefers Full Metal Jacket to David. Likes the Coens (Hudsucker Proxy) and the box-office game ritual inherited from his father. Responds to Kirk Douglas as a star who used clout for challenging pictures.
Stances
War movies stress him out even when they are good
Paths of Glory is short in a way that is a blessing
Won't rewatch Saving Private Ryan despite loving it
Humor: Gallows-humor riffs and running bits that escalate the absurd (e.g. trench humor, reenactments as a Patreon goal).
In their words
“I get very stressed out watching war films even when I think they're good.” (0:02:01)
“I like full metal jacket more than you, David” (0:55:08)
“I buy it on fucking steel book.” (1:19:43)
Their shows' recurring bits
Running bits, not opinions; a critic read aloud is cited, not present.
The Big Picture
Drafts: Hosts and guests draft films in rounds; every pick is a recommendation with an argument.
Hall of Fame: A star's or director's best, ranked and argued.
Countdowns: Ranked lists, top five or top ten.
Blank Check with Griffin & David
The box office game: Guessing the film's opening weekend and what it was up against.
The sung theme: "Blank Check with Griffin and David", sung; the transcriber garbles it.
Their claims
Showing 801–900 of 1,162 claims.
craft (craft):
Old Dogs → Chariots of Fire.
The pioneer-weekend games use the Chariots of Fire theme as a gag for audiences who know it.
lineage (lineage):
Old Dogs → Moonrise Kingdom.
A host jokes that Moonrise Kingdom, three years later, is what made scouts cool, after the Old Dogs scout weekend.
“So you're saying Moonrise Kingdom made scouts cooling?”
theme (theme):
Old Dogs → Friday the 13th (parts 1-3).
The kids' Friday the 13th rule joke pays off in the film: they watch part three because Jason does not wear the mask until then.
“But this is not parts one or two because Jason doesn't wear the mask till three.”
programming (programming):
Old Dogs → Tangled.
Disney released Tangled the next year on the same Thanksgiving weekend, which became its animated slot (Frozen, Moana).
“A year later, they released Tangled the same weekend, and then this becomes the weekend they released their biggest animated film of the year.”
programming (programming):
Old Dogs → The Twilight Saga: New Moon.
Old Dogs opened fourth, behind New Moon in its second week, The Blind Side and 2012.
people (people):
A Christmas Carol → Robert Zemeckis.
The box office quiz answer, a 2009 holiday film in a director miniseries, is Zemeckis' A Christmas Carol.
lineage (lineage):
The Batman → Batman Forever / Batman & Robin.
Griffin says Schumacher's Batman films are directly shaped by the Adam West show's pairing and cliffhanger style.
“Joel Schumacher is very influenced by the Adam West show.”
lineage (lineage):
The Dark Knight Rises → Tim Drake.
Nolan's Robin take is basically Tim Drake, and a speaker wishes it had been 10 percent more obvious.
“And I wish Nolan had just gone 10%, you know, more obvious with it.”
contrast (contrast):
The Batman → Spider-Man (franchise).
Spider-Man has the second-best rogues gallery but its villains read as criminals with a gimmick, while Batman villains are insane.
lineage (lineage):
The Batman → Batman Forever.
Burton had a plane and a boat which Schumacher updated in Batman Forever; Batman & Robin gave Robin a motorcycle.
programming (programming):
The Batman → The Sound of Music.
A UK sing-along Sound of Music (Prince Charles Theater) turned into a Rocky Horror-style costume event.
industry (industry):
Summit Entertainment → Bill Condon.
Summit met Bill Condon, Gus Van Sant and Sofia Coppola to tackle the last two films (Breaking Dawn split in two); Condon got the job.
“the 3 people Summit met with to tackle the last 2 movies, the one book split into two, were Bill Condon”
craft (craft):
The Twilight Saga: Eclipse → The Twilight Saga: New Moon.
Eclipse was shot by Javier Aguirresarobe, who also shot New Moon, and the speakers find Eclipse similar-looking to New Moon, only more lush and autumnal.
“Uh, Javier, Agriaska Robe. I, you know, I, I, who shot New Moon.”
programming (programming):
John Carpenter → Danny DeVito.
Carpenter win means 18 weeks of scheduling; DeVito means about 6 weeks, leaving room for more miniseries.
“Some people want someone like Carpenter to win so they can control 18 weeks of our scheduling.”
lineage (lineage):
Alien: Covenant → Prometheus.
Covenant is half the Prometheus sequel Scott wanted and half a concession to a more normal Alien movie.
“this is half, like Ridley Scott doing the Prometheus sequel he wanted to do and half”
industry (industry):
Alien: Covenant → Prometheus.
Prometheus's marketing left it unclear whether it was an Alien film; Covenant's marketing was the opposite, selling the Alien iconography.
“how much of this is going to be directly an alien franchise film or not”
contrast (contrast):
Alien: Covenant → Alien.
Alien films usually give a calm before the storm in hypersleep; Covenant throws you straight into trauma.
“rather than ever getting the sort of calm before the storm that you usually get an alien movies”
career (career):
Danny McBride → Halloween (franchise).
After this he moved into the Halloween franchise and HBO series to make the genre work he wanted.
“And then after this, he's like, I'm the Halloween guy.”
craft (craft):
Alien: Covenant → The Lord of the Rings.
New Zealand locations can't replicate what Peter Jackson did with it in Lord of the Rings, but still look like a newer earth.
“you can never replicate the total stunning magic trick of Peter Jackson, like deploying it in Lord of the Rings”
contrast (contrast):
Alien: Covenant → H.R. Giger.
The neomorph in Covenant lacks the Giger biomechanical kibble, with a more human, translucent-skinned look.
“He does not have all of the HR Geiger biomechanical kibble all over his body.”
craft (craft):
Alien: Covenant → The Hobbit films.
Acting to tennis balls on a green screen was exhausting for The Tick, and people say it was easy because of the Hobbit movies.
“they do this shit with like the Hobbit movies, right?”
programming (programming):
Crocodile Dundee → Crocodile Dundee II.
Next Patreon miniseries: the three Crocodile Dundee films, skipping a made-up Great Mr. Dundee.
career (career):
Jean-Pierre Jeunet → Delicatessen.
Griffin was shown Delicatessen and City of Lost Children by his French mother before Resurrection let him down.
“She had absolutely made me watch, uh, Delicatessen and City of Lost Children at this point”
programming (programming):
The Hunchback of Notre Dame → Lon Chaney.
Griffin pitches a Patreon series doing all the Hunchback of Notre Dame movies, including the Lon Chaney version.
fun, about
The Lego Batman Movie:
Robin has not figured out Batman and Bruce Wayne are the same person: Bruce Wayne lives in Batman's attic, and Batman says Bruce told him it's okay to hang out.
“he has to be like, uh, Bruce told me it's okay for you to hang out with me.”
fun, about
The Lego Batman Movie:
Animators keep the Lego limits: arms rotate and swing but never bend, though shoulders may dislocate to cross the chest.
“but they'll let the entire arm sort of like remove from the body and turn inwards.”
fun, about
Lego (company):
Lego ruled the 90s by building its own mythologies each year, with Johnny Thunder as its Indiana Jones hero, before the 1999 Star Wars deal.
“There's Johnny Thunder, who is their attempt to create like an Indiana Jones style hero”
fun, about
The Lego Batman Movie:
A listener built Lego versions of the hosts; the builder, Dave Colletta, became a top contestant on Lego Masters, which Arnett hosts.
“And the guy who built the figures of us became like one of the best contestants on this fucking show.”
fun, about
The Lego Batman Movie:
Phantom Zone includes Sauron as a talking tower, Voldemort turning people to fish, the Wicked Witch, a Gremlin crew, and a Creature from the Black Lagoon.
fun, about
The Lego Batman Movie:
Griffin argues the movie is a flawed pick for David because the IP cameos are shallow; the villains get little screen time.
fun, about
Doctor Who:
Griffin explains a Dalek: it's a garbage can with a plunger because, per him, an arm went missing and a bathroom plunger replaced it.
“they were missing an arm and they took a plunger out of the bathroom.”
fun, about
Old Dogs:
After Justin Long's scout troop shoots a statue's head off, they burn it down and get kicked out.
“After shooting the head off the statue, they stayed there long enough for the sun to go down to light the whole thing on fire, and then they were kicked out.”
fun, about
Griffin Newman:
Griffin's Supergirl bit: Burt Ward and other legends in the opening credits made viewers think Crisis would tie in The Tick.
“For 5 seconds, I think people thought Crisis on Infinite Earth was gonna tie in the tick universe.”
fun, about
Adam West and Frank Gorshin:
The legend that West and Gorshin went to a Hollywood orgy in character and were expelled for doing too many bits.
fun, about
Alien: Covenant:
The Franco footage cooks him alive and Griffin says the 10-second prologue would have made the film's emotional start stronger.
“you kind of really benefit from seeing him for 10 seconds alive, you know?”
fun, about
Danny McBride:
McBride went to film school wanting to write and direct, was cast in friends' films, never auditioned, and said Covenant was what he always wanted to do.
fun, about
The Tick:
Griffin recounts his hardest technical acting scene: Dr. Karamazov shrunk, shot against tennis balls on sticks then redone from his own recorded dialogue.
“the single most challenging thing I've ever had to do as an actor on a technical level is”
fun, about
Alien: Covenant:
Merchandise for the movie showed an earlier, practical-looking xenomorph design before the creature was redone in CGI late in production.
“All of the merchandise for this movie had an incorrect xenomorph design.”
fun, about
Alien Quadrilogy:
The 2003 DVD box set that David calls a word hardly used outside that box; Resurrection got a special edition about seven minutes longer.
“Quadrilogy, a word that has rarely been used outside of that one box.”
fun, about
You've Got Mail:
The fall leaves in the movie are CGI because they shot in the summer, per the commentary track by Ephron and Schuler Donner.
“They're like, all of the fall stuff is CGI, baby.”
fun, about
Dave Chappelle:
Chappelle delivers the odd line 'she has the same coloring as' that was written for an older Eastern European actor in the original.
“if you look up the actor who played the best friend role and shop around the corner, it's like an older Eastern European man with a mustache.”
fun, about
Tom Hanks:
The script supervisor fixed Hanks's block on the Lalo scene: he stays because he is trying to build the courage to say it is him.
“Your motivation, this scene, is you think if you stay longer, you'll finally build the courage to say it.”