Loves the Friday series as a communal, rental-era memory and tells childhood stories about the ads and theaters. Likes casting what-ifs and sports analogies for everything. Skeptical of horror at Christmas and of anything that wastes the premise.
Stances
Friday the 13th is not the best entry but the origin story had to be told
Friday 2 is a leap over the original
Humor: Digressive, sports-analogy heavy, and self-teasing about his office and Rewatchables running gags.
In their words
“There was 2 commercials, spring, summer, 1980 that scared the fuck out of me.” (0:07:38)
Loves Halloween and the 1970s; admires the film's craft and rewatchability, especially Leatherface's unintentional comedy. Hates Franklin, hitchhikers, and unlikely logistics. Uses sports and pop-culture analogies for everything.
Stances
The film is a rewatchable, not just a great movie
Leatherface is the hilarious favorite slasher
The hitchhiker is scarier than Leatherface
Hooper won the movie
Humor: Runs sports, NFL and podcast-world analogies and mock-outrage bits against Craig and the staff.
In their words
“I think it is a rewatchable, but I'm willing to hear the other side of it” (0:01:29)
Loves from-hell thrillers and movies that are fun to talk about even when they fail; a Boston guy who remembers where he saw things (Zoolander two weeks after 9/11). Can't stand a movie that wastes a good premise. A sucker for hoops details and stars' career arcs.
Stances
Domestic Disturbance is bad but a rewatchable good-bad movie
Vaughn and Travolta are mismatched to their roles
Cut footage and PG-13 killed the movie
Humor: Dry, trivia-heavy, with self-mockery about his own research and notes.
In their words
“I'm so relieved that this is how you're framing it.” (0:03:10)
“I saw Zoolander in the theater in Boston.” (0:11:47)
Loves ranking, tallies and lists (Pantheon, Hall of Fame, Mount Rushmores), and treats the show like a sports franchise with categories as awards. Hates inauthentic, silly-looking athletics and bad stinkers, and has always disliked narration (now conceding). Sucker for Midnight Run, Almost Famous, and sports analogies for everything.
Stances
Concedes narration is fine when the movie is good
Wants to build a Rewatchables Hall of Fame with plaques
Wants to rewatch Midnight Run
Treats the cell-phone conspiracy as plausible
Humor: Self-deprecating bits about his own mispronunciations and sports-metaphor overreach.
In their words
“Okay, these are all actual emails from actual listeners.” (0:04:36)
Loves sports movies, tropes and underdog arcs; loves racing movies more than real racing. Can't stand people who throw cards. Sucker for Pacino speeches, Pitt as an old-school star, and hot takes about better endings.
Stances
F1 is the movie of the 2020s on feel
Sonny should have crashed and JP won
Brad Pitt is above Matt Damon in culture
Nobody should throw cards for fun
Humor: Dry listmaker who stages bits and fake categories with deadpan.
In their words
“This is a better movie if Sonny crashes.” (0:55:40)
“I don't like anybody in real life or in movies that throws cards for fun.” (1:19:45)
Loves 1980s teen comedies and the Hughes run, ranking The Breakfast Club an all timer; lists teen movies by year and tracks careers and what-ifs. Rates the movie fun but is bothered by how Lisa is written and by the age gap in the kiss.
Stances
Weird Science is a super fun watch with weird elements you must factor in with the 80s
Anthony Michael Hall should have been a bigger star
Hottest take: Lisa sucks
Humor: Dry list-making and award names, reading research aloud like a deadpan docket.
In their words
“And I mentioned this because I was 15 years old when I saw this movie in the theater.” (0:03:11)
“They're both pantheon for me, but breakfast club's an all timer for me.” (1:23:34)
Loves sprawling statistics and lists (genre-checkbox years, Carrey's run) and a good Oscars grievance. Cannot resist a bit about bars, themed restaurants and sports metaphors. A sucker for the 1990s and for movies that hold up on repeat.
Stances
Carrey's 94-2000 run is the best by a comedian
1998 checked every genre box
Movies should run about 100 minutes
Humor: Rapid-fire riffs that fold sports and gambling into movie talk.
In their words
“Carries the star, obviously, and carries in this heater from 94 to 2000.” (0:27:23)
“I think 1998 is in the running for the greatest checking all the boxes movie year we've ever had.” (1:06:05)
Loves 80s TV that wrecks him (China Beach), cool-guy actors like Madsen, and big dumb 90s movies sold on a single premise. Teased for being a sucker for the Hollywood Hills guy's lifestyle. Dislikes Sil-adjacent logic holes less than he enjoys them.
Stances
Species is a great B movie that gets a pass
Wants Madsen and Helgenberger to have been a TV duo
Would be Robbie in another life
Humor: Deadpan sports-and-pop-culture analogies and self-aware sleaze.
In their words
“I fucking love China Beach.” (0:07:15)
“Bill, you see yourself as Robbie, huh?” (0:37:46)
Loves 80s and 90s crowd-pleasers, Goodfellas as his favorite movie, and a good Hollywood backstory. Can't stand pot smoke and bike traffic in modern New York, Pee-wee, or Jade. A sucker for actresses who deserved better careers (Arquette, Fiorentino) and sports-brain comparisons.
Stances
Fiorentino and Arquette were robbed of better careers
80s Scorsese is the best
Warriors is superior to After Hours as a night movie
Tom Hanks or Keaton would improve the lead
Humor: Breathless riffs, absurd hypotheticals (kill Reagan for Arquette) and sports analogies.
In their words
“I don't know how Linda Fiorentino was never on the Sopranos.” (1:09:50)
“Would you have killed Ronald Reagan for Rosanne Arquette?” (0:33:25)
Loves the pop-culture web of the 80s: songs, TV, sports ads and movie stars tied together, and reads Ebert and old press clippings. Will take a bold contrarian stance (Tess may be the villain) and invents award categories. Cannot stand an unexplained plot hole or a premise that ruins itself, but forgives absurdity when the emotion works.
Stances
Tess might be the villain; she took Catherine's idea, boyfriend and job
The Pointer Sisters' 'I'm So Excited' is secretly the most important pop-culture song
Humor: Runs deadpan bits and invented awards, and teases co-hosts' obsessions.
In their words
“is secretly the most important pop culture song of all time.” (1:27:43)
“Are we sure Tess isn't the villain of this movie?” (1:59:14)
Loves Rocky as a cultural phenomenon he lived through in 1976, and the sports-movie recipe it created. Loves the casting what-if games and the running categories. Can't stand slow courtship scenes in 2025 terms. A sucker for Stallone and for lore.
Stances
Rocky is one of the most important movies of the last 50 years
Rocky was a phenomenon in 1976, comparable to Jaws and Star Wars
Stallone wins the movie
All the President's Men should have won the Oscar
Humor: Drops running bits (Ebert, hot takes, categories) and teases the others about Boston and doo-wop.
In their words
“I saw in Dedham, Massachusetts with my dad.” (0:08:57)
Loves football, sports movies and the long run of sports books and shows; likes nitpicks and ranking lists. Fond of Billy Bob Thornton and the TV show, with a Grantland-era sense of history. Enjoys odds, lines and fantasy-football talk.
Stances
Friday Night Lights is a top-six football movie, behind The Longest Yard
Movies where the good guys lose are great for rewatchability
Billy Bob should have been the TV Coach Taylor, as a career move
Coach Gaines is arguably a bad coach
Cruise is too small and not Texan, so Hanks wins
Humor: Banter, tallies and running-bit award names, plus deadpan wagers and career-strategist asides.
In their words
“I think Billy Bob should have played the coach in the TV show.” (1:17:08)
“I think longest yard is just number one.” (1:39:56)
Loves the whole texture of Pulp Fiction and builds the whole show around categories and awards. Cares about specific lines, casting what-ifs, and bits that tie to sports (Paul George, Dion Waiters, NBA draft). Can't stand lazy nitpicks and the weak link of Fabienne's 12 minutes. A sucker for diners, milkshakes, and the lifestyle nostalgia of the movie.
Stances
Fabienne's 12 minutes is the weakest part of Pulp Fiction
Dump 8 of those minutes for a real Wilson vs Coolidge boxing sequence
Vincent Vega is completely incompetent
Cruise as Vincent or Butch is the Apex Mountain casting pick
Humor: Runs category gags and sports analogies, and escalates absurd 'unanswerable questions'.
In their words
“Well, we have some bonus categories for this one.” (0:02:34)
“I will say that for as awesome as this film has so many great shots.” (1:11:22)
“I hate to tell Tarantino what to do, who's incredible creative achievement, but if you dump 8 of the 12 minutes with Butch's girlfriend,” (1:36:04)
He disliked Twister in 1996 because it felt like the start of the effects-driven blockbuster era but now loves it for the old-school feel of real danger. He is a sucker for summer-calendar history, box office numbers, and a movie you can leave on for three days. He reads casting and career arcs through NBA and NFL analogies.
Stances
Twister is underrated and he held it unfairly in 1996
Practical effects make the actors feel in actual danger
1996 is the year the summer blockbuster calendar was set
Jonas should have had more scenes
Disaster movies should be natural disasters and not star the Rock
Humor: Sports analogies for everything, dry running bits, and mock-outrage over the group's picks.
In their words
“I watched it twice in the last week.” (0:03:10)
“I actually like it more than I've ever liked it in my life.” (0:03:12)
“I treated it this time around, like basically tried to recreate the circumstances of an old school rewatchable” (0:10:05)
Loves the 90s Myers era (Wayne's World, Axe Murderer) more than the Powers films. A sucker for Heather Graham and Garth-style sidekicks. Dislikes the rap song and the Fat Bastard sleeping bit; wants comedians to stay comedians.
Stances
Myers era best in Wayne's World/Axe Murderer
Comedians should not go serious
Mike Myers won the movie
Humor: Digressive trivia dropper and conspiracy-tangent jokester.
In their words
“We never want them to become serious actors.” (0:15:47)
Loves 80s movie-star careers, studio and box-office lore, and Kathleen Turner as a teenage ideal. Cannot stand wasted runtime and the DeVito framing scenes. A sucker for production trivia, deleted scenes and Phil Collins-style what-ifs.
Stances
The DeVito framing scenes are the weak link and could be cut
Turner is the better performer in the Douglas/Turner combo
The dog should have been made into pate
Roses is 'hall of fame' evidence that they don't make movies like this anymore
Humor: Dry, list-making and rhetorical, with sports analogies and running-bit category names.
In their words
“But man, when I was growing up in the 80s.” (0:08:23)
“She was like my platonic ideal for like someday I hope I get to marry somebody like Kathleen Turner.” (0:08:26)
“The Danny DeVito scenes, even though there's good wisdom in them” (0:48:09)
“I think it's more important that they both actually die than that you know for sure that the dog died.” (1:05:02)
Bill loves Richard Gere's charisma at full power and a movie that gets more unhinged as it goes. He keeps the categories moving and loves sports analogies and long-ago junket stories. He is a sucker for a villain you end up rooting for, and he is dismissive of Bad Lieutenant for trying too hard.
Stances
Gere's Dennis Peck is his best performance
He actually wants more dirty-cop movies
Bad Lieutenant is not a rewatchable
Humor: Sports-flavored riffs and mock-awards, like the Rick Dalton Award, and impressions.
In their words
“I think this is his best performance in a movie.” (0:09:09)
“Little like Kenny Pickett on the Steelers.” (0:18:52)
“I interviewed Ron Silver at the Ali Junket in 2001.” (0:51:48)
Bill loves Pacino's swagger and Any Given Sunday, loves Heat, and treats the Michael Mann signature as a thing he can pick at, calling out the slow-motion ending and score as dated. He is a sports guy who can't let go of the Knicks 'semifinals' line, and he has little patience for stray bad casting like Wings Hauser. He is a sucker for scenery-chewers like Bruce McGill.
Stances
Pacino's Any Given Sunday is his favorite Pacino performance other than The Godfather
The slow-motion ending is bad and tacky
Cigarette smoking in movies makes people look cool
Pacino should have smoked in this movie
Humor: Digressive and comic, uses sports analogies (LeBron, Knicks, Dion Waiters) and bits that run on.
In their words
“The Inch's speech is all time for me and that movie's terrible and he's carrying it like LeBron carried the 2007 caps.” (0:09:36)
Loves The Big Chill enough to make it his birthday movie and has seen it more than almost anything. Cares about football-movie accuracy, soundtrack craft and the 80s ensemble dramedy. Can't stand bad touch football scenes and the Oscars' snubs.
Stances
The Big Chill is a movie he returns to again and again
Touch football in movies is never done right
Kasdan's first five years are the greatest screenwriting run
Humor: Runs bits and riffs, jokes about the show's low bar and his own friends.
In their words
“Every year on my birthday, we do a movie that I love, and this year we're doing the big chill.” (0:00:58)
“I've never been satisfied with the movie touch football scene.” (1:34:03)
Loves quotable, rewatchable movies (Godfather, Goodfellas, Casino, Speed), the Sopranos, and craps and sports analogies. Hates narrators generally, but allows this one. Sucker for lists, categories, and made-up channels.
Stances
Lessons from the movie are the best part; 'nobody cares' wins
Bar-intro scene is a Goodfellas rip
Chazz Palminteri won the movie
Hasn't seen John Wick 4 yet; will wait for the perfect time
Humor: Runs the format as a bit machine, with channel pitches, rankings, and teasing his co-hosts.
In their words
“I hate narrators.” (1:10:32)
“I always wanted an all-jail movie channel called Bars, B-A-R-Z.” (1:05:05)
Their shows' recurring bits
Running bits, not opinions; a critic read aloud is cited, not present.
The Big Picture
Drafts: Hosts and guests draft films in rounds; every pick is a recommendation with an argument.
Hall of Fame: A star's or director's best, ranked and argued.
Countdowns: Ranked lists, top five or top ten.
The Rewatchables
Apex Mountain: The moment a star peaks; where on the mountain a performance sits.
Who Won the Movie: The hosts name the person who came out of the film best off.
The Ebert review: Roger Ebert's original review and star rating read aloud. Ebert is cited, never on the show.
Casting what-ifs: Who was almost cast, or who should have been.
Most rewatchable scene: The scene each host would stop on while flipping channels.
Aged best / aged worst: What holds up and what does not.
Picking Nits: The little things in a film the hosts love that they don't think totally work: the nits.
Double feature: The film each host would pair it with; a programming pick.
Their claims
Showing 601–700 of 1,295 claims.
craft (craft):
Wedding Crashers → Knocked Up.
Bill says Wedding Crashers and Mean Girls became genuinely funny, which is what Apatow figured out.
“I think the thing Appatau figured out on wedding crashers and Mean Girls and some of these other things was, they became genuinely funny.”
contrast (contrast):
When Harry Met Sally → My Best Friend's Wedding.
Bill says Harry Met Sally is genuinely funny, unlike Pretty Woman or the Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks movies; My Best Friend's Wedding is funny but not hilarious.
“My best friend's wedding is funny, but it's not like, it's not like hilarious.”
craft (craft):
Judd Apatow → The 40-Year-Old Virgin.
Bill says Apatow put idiot 22-year-old men into a rom-com, a trick he also used in 40-Year-Old Virgin.
“Judd figured out how to like put them in a rom-com and make it work.”
contrast (contrast):
Knocked Up → The 40-Year-Old Virgin.
Bill says the first half is idiots hanging out and the second half is more rom-com, less funny and more heartwarming; he notes 40-Year-Old Virgin was already covered.
“He did it in 40-year-old version too, which we've already done”
industry (industry):
Judd Apatow → Adam McKay.
Bill says McKay and Ferrell were doing the same improvise-and-keep-rolling thing at the same time as Apatow.
“Adam McKay and Will Ferrell and those guys are kind of doing the same thing at the same time.”
career (career):
Katherine Heigl → Grey's Anatomy (TV).
Bill says Heigl got more attention from Grey's Anatomy and was good in Knocked Up, laying seeds of a major star.
career (career):
Katherine Heigl → Julia Roberts.
Bill lines up Heigl with Reese Witherspoon, young Sandra Bullock and Julia Roberts as someone you can tell 'has it'.
career (career):
Martin Starr → Silicon Valley (TV).
Bill says Martin Starr is the same guy in everything, like in Silicon Valley, but figured out his lane.
programming (programming):
Knocked Up → Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy.
The pee-break category is named after the Anchorman flute scene; Bill uses it to mark Knocked Up's 7.5-minute labor stretch.
“The anchorman flute. P-break Award for best time to go go pee”
what-if (what-if):
Anne Hathaway → Knocked Up.
Bill raises Anne Hathaway as originally cast as Alison and dropping out over how the birth footage would be used.
what-if (what-if):
Kate Bosworth → Knocked Up.
Bill reports alleged auditions by Jennifer Love Hewitt (transcribed 'La Feud'), Kate Bosworth and Christina Aguilera.
“Allegedly, Jennifer La Feud and Kate Bosworth auditioned.”
what-if (what-if):
Mila Kunis → Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Bill says Mila Kunis auditioned for Alison, didn't get it, but Apatow remembered her for Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
“We know Mila Kunis auditioned and didn't get it, but Jed Appatau remembered her and put her around forgetting Sarah Marshall.”
industry (industry):
Michael Cera → Knocked Up.
Bill describes a DVD special feature where Michael Cera is 'fired' and Bennett Miller co-directs, a wrestling-style work.
“Do you know about this special feature on the DVD where Michael Sarah gets fired from the film”
programming (programming):
Knocked Up → The League (TV).
Bill says Knocked Up may be the most high-profile fantasy moment in a movie, since The League is a TV show.
“It might be the most high profile fantasy moment.”
theme (theme):
Knocked Up → Big Daddy.
Bill compares Ben's money-from-nowhere set-up to Sonny in Big Daddy: it doesn't have to work because he has all the money.
“Sonny get run over by, uh, like a cab in Big Daddy.”
contrast (contrast):
Knocked Up → Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Imagining Alison's life after the movie, Bill says she might meet a better guy than Rogen and it becomes a Forgetting Sarah Marshall situation.
“and it becomes a forgetting Sarah Marshall situation where.”
unmapped (fish out of water vs showcase):
Beverly Hills Cop → Beverly Hills Cop II.
The first film has a coherent story and fish-out-of-water appeal; the sequel is a showcase of Eddie doing bits.
“The 1st movie has like a much more coherent story.”
lineage (sequel scarcity):
Beverly Hills Cop II → Police Academy 4.
Cop II was the only sequel in the 1987 domestic top 20-25; the next was Police Academy 4 at 44th.
“This is the only sequel in the top 20, top 25, where it's not until Police Academy 4, which was the 44th biggest movie that year.”
career (career decline):
Eddie Murphy → The Distinguished Gentleman.
The set indulgence of 1987 Eddie leads eventually to the wheels coming off by The Distinguished Gentleman.
“at some point that leads to, you know, you're doing the distinguished gentlemen and the wheels have just gone, the wheels have come up.”
unmapped (Eddie Murphy run):
Beverly Hills Cop II → 48 Hrs..
The Rewatchables has covered 48 Hrs., Cop I, Cop II, Coming to America; only Trading Places is left; Simmons prefers 48 Hrs. personally.
unmapped (rewatchability):
Beverly Hills Cop II → Beverly Hills Cop.
Not better, but more rewatchable than the first because sleeker with no dead spots or open questions.
“I don't think it's a better movie, but I actually think it's a more rewatchable movie because it's sleeker.”
unmapped (critic grudge):
Roger Ebert → Spies Like Us.
Ebert had trashed Spies Like Us on the Tonight Show with Chevy Chase sitting next to him, showing his salt toward these comedies.
“he was on the Tonight Show with Chevy Chase and he reamed the Spies like Us movie right in front of him.”
verdict (all-time favorites):
Eddie Murphy → David Letterman.
Simmons ranks Murphy on his short list alongside Letterman and Larry Bird.
“I don't know whether he's where he ranks against Letterman and Larry Bird and, you know, the Alzheimer's for me, but he's right. He's on the short list.”
unmapped (TV appearance):
Eddie Murphy → Joe Piscopo.
Murphy appeared on a Piscopo comedy special doing a Miami Vice parody during his scarce public years.
“He was Joe Piscopo, had a comedy special that was great. where Eddie went on that and they did a Miami Vice parody.”
unmapped (modern equivalent):
Eddie Murphy → Dave Chappelle.
A modern equivalent would require combining a piece of Chappelle with five other peak performers.
“It's like a piece of Chappelle, and then you'd have to take 5 other people who are at the peak of their powers and combine them.”
unmapped (top-20 neighbors):
Beverly Hills Cop II → Dirty Dancing.
The 1987 top 20 includes Fatal Attraction, Lethal Weapon, RoboCop, Predator and others, putting Cop II as the third biggest.
“Three Men and a Baby, Fatal Attraction, Beverly Hills Cop 2.”
unmapped (Black stardom in 1987):
Eddie Murphy → Bill Cosby.
Murphy was the only Black star in the 1987 top 20 and, with Cosby, carried outsized importance.
unmapped (racetrack crosscutting):
Tony Scott → Beverly Hills Cop II.
Scott's signature crosscutting with running horses defines the racetrack robbery.
“Nobody loved crosscutting with running horses more than Tony Scott.”
unmapped (romance):
Brigitte Nielsen → Tony Scott.
Nielsen cheated on Stallone with Tony Scott during this filming, per what Simmons read, and also had a romance with Schwarzenegger.
“Mary Stallone, cheated on Stallone with Tony Scott, which broke up his marriage during this filming”
what-if (career what-if):
Brigitte Nielsen → Steven Seagal.
Nielsen should have landed in a Seagal movie like Above the Law or Marked for Death, or been the bad guy in Under Siege 3.
“I think she could have been an above the law or marked for death, any of those.”
craft (score echo):
Harold Faltermeyer → Escape from New York.
The Faltermeyer opening has hints of 48 Hrs., Escape from New York, Miami Vice, and Fletch.
people (producer power):
Don Simpson → The Presidio.
Simpson was powerful enough to have Paramount pull writer Larry Ferguson off The Presidio mid-script.
“Simpson is so powerful at this point that he had Paramount remove a writer named Larry Ferguson from the Presidio to come help with this film.”
unmapped (easter egg):
Beverly Hills Cop II → Cobra.
Rosewood has a Cobra poster in his apartment, which is funny given Scott and Nielsen's off-screen story.
“He's got the Cobra poster in his room, and meanwhile, Tony Scott is...”
career (career arc):
Judge Reinhold → Fast Times at Ridgemont High.
Reinhold's rise runs from Fast Times (1982) through Ruthless People; Vice Versa was his solo breakout attempt that failed.
“Vice versa was his big chance to break out on his own. Didn't work, and then the wheels kind of came off after that.”
people (sequel adds cast):
Beverly Hills Cop II → Lethal Weapon.
By the mid-90s sequels learned to add stars (Pesci in Lethal Weapon, Jackson in Die Hard 3); Cop sequels just ran it back.
“You have to have Joe Pesci join Lethal Weapon, and you have to try to bring in Chris Rock. You get Sam Jackson in Die Hard 3.”
lineage (lineage):
The Player → The Larry Sanders Show.
Bill asks whether The Player is ground zero for the meta-Hollywood strain that runs through Larry Sanders and Curb.
“Larry Sanders and Curb your enthusiasm and all these different things we've had over the 30 years.”
lineage (lineage):
Robert Altman → Paul Thomas Anderson.
Bill says Altman's legacy is the filmmakers he influenced, and Boogie Nights is PTA trying to do The Player and Altman.
“He's just basically trying to do the player, right?”
lineage (lineage):
Robert Altman → Adam McKay.
Altman was one of the first directors to encourage ad-libbing, a trend followed by McKay, Apatow and PTA.
“there is this whole generation directors that follows Adam McKay, Apatow, Paul Thomas Anderson”
verdict (verdict):
The Player → The Bonfire of the Vanities.
The quoted review calls The Player the movie Bonfire of the Vanities wanted to be, and the hosts agree; Wesley followed the Bonfire saga before seeing it.
career (career):
Brion James → Striking Distance.
Bill remembers him from cable as Bruce Willis's nemesis in Striking Distance, which spins into a Rowdy Herrington week idea.
“In my house growing up, he was Bruce Willis's like arch nemesis in striking distance.”
programming (programming):
Striking Distance → Road House.
Bill pitches a Rowdy Herrington week for the show covering Road House and Striking Distance.
theme (theme):
The Player → Pretty Woman.
The recurring pitch-as-mashup joke (Out of Africa meets Pretty Woman) and the running Julia Roberts and Bruce Willis casting gag.
“How Julia Roberts and Bruce Willis get suggested for every movie is just a funny running bit.”
career (career):
Tim Robbins → The Shawshank Redemption.
The Player is a step in Robbins's run from Bull Durham to Shawshank, and two years from Dead Man Walking.
“I think Robin needed this for his Bull Durham, to the player, to Shawshank”
career (career):
Tim Robbins → Dead Man Walking.
Robbins directed Sean Penn in Dead Man Walking; the hosts trace the Scacchi/D'Onofrio/Leila George/Sean Penn six degrees.
“Tim Robbins directed Sean Penn in the movie Dead Man Walking.”
what-if (what-if):
Robert De Niro → The Player.
Bill proposes De Niro in the Fred Ward part, overqualified, as the right-era move after Goodfellas and Cape Fear.
“Could he have just played the Fred Ward part for like 4 scenes.”
what-if (what-if):
Jennifer Jason Lee → The Player.
Bill says the Bonnie part, instead of Cynthia Stevenson, has Jennifer Jason Lee written all over it; the others disagree.
“it just has Jennifer Jason Lee crying all over it.”
people (people):
The Player → Presumed Innocent.
Bill's memory of falling for Greta Scacchi in Presumed Innocent frames why he finds her Player character underwritten; Scacchi refused nudity after Presumed Innocent.
“Skocky's like, I fucking went to town on Harrison Ford and presumed innocent.”
fun, about
Friday the 13th:
Bill's mother and stepfather-to-be saw it in a Stamford theater; when Jason rose from the lake a man screamed 'get the fuck out' and ran up the aisle.
“this guy in front of them, stood up, screamed, get the fuck out, and started running out of the theater.”
fun, about
The Texas Chain Saw Massacre:
Dinner scene shoot: John Dugan refused to redo 5-hour grandpa makeup, so they shot it all in 30 hours, 100 degrees, rotting food, blackout curtains, cast puking outside. Edwin Neal called it worse than Vietnam.
“filming that scene was the worst time of my life, and I had been in Vietnam with people trying to kill me.”
fun, about
The Texas Chain Saw Massacre:
Hot take from Bill: the hitchhiker is scarier than Leatherface, because everyone has met someone fully gone in a bar who wants to show them a knife.
fun, about
The Texas Chain Saw Massacre:
Most 1974 thing: the hitchhiker's Polaroid with flashbulb, 'chain saw' as two words, 'old lady' for a girlfriend, and hitchhikers themselves.
“And then, uh, I think the winner is just hitchhikers.”
fun, about
The Texas Chain Saw Massacre:
The We Slaughter Barbecue sign and the gas station aged best; the real gas station is now a horror-themed barbecue restaurant and motel in Texas.
fun, about
The Texas Chain Saw Massacre:
Facts: 83 minutes, 868 edits, one chainsaw, one outfit, a $60,000 shoot (later $125K budget with promotion); it made $31 million; Ebert gave it 2 stars.
“There are 868 edits and an 83 minute movie, which apparently is a lot.”
fun, about
Franklin:
Bill's 'who we hate' pick: nobody is a worse hang than Franklin; Texas Monthly called him one of the most despicable handicapped people in film, the only one who almost deserves his death.
fun, about
The Texas Chain Saw Massacre:
Only one chainsaw death in the whole movie (Franklin), prompting the joke that it should be Texas Hammer Massacre.
“I mean, in some ways, Texas Hammer Massacre didn't go really the same.”
fun, about
The Texas Chain Saw Massacre:
Bill's hottest take: Leatherface was the victim, just defending his property in his own house with a hobby of taxidermy.
fun, about
The Texas Chain Saw Massacre:
Craig's life lesson: the real lesson is don't pick up hitchhikers and always have a full tank; Bill notes the lesson from Miyagi is get gas when you need it.
fun, about
The Texas Chain Saw Massacre:
Casting what-ifs: Bill's 1974 big-cast version has Jeff Bridges, Rob Reiner (wheelchair), Ron Howard, Penny Marshall and Goldie Hawn as the final girl. The real unknown actors are what makes it work. Cruise or Hanks gag in the van.
“Jeff Bridges, Rob Reiner and Ron Howard, maybe Rob Reiners in the wheelchair.”
fun, about
Gunnar Hansen:
Hansen admitted in his book Chainsaw Confidential that after failed attempts he secretly removed the protective tape from the knife and cut Burns's finger for real; Bill calls it an OSHA violation.
“he secretly removed the protected tape from the knife and cut Marilyn Burns's finger for real.”
fun, about
The Texas Chain Saw Massacre:
Money story: financed by mob-linked money (the Deep Throat producers), cast kept signing away shares, company went bankrupt, New Line bought the stuff and belatedly paid; nobody went on to a career.
“They ended up getting financing from basically the mob.”
fun, about
Gunnar Hansen:
Body Odor Award to Leatherface: he had one dyed shirt for four weeks and by the end of the shoot no one would stand near him.
“by the end of the shoot, no one would stand near him.”
fun, about
The Texas Chain Saw Massacre:
Who won the movie: Tobe Hooper, who got the best career out of it, at the Universal lot with Spielberg, directing Poltergeist.
fun, about
Domestic Disturbance:
Ebert quote: the audience critics saw the wrong last reel. He had to watch the movie twice in a week.
“the final confrontation so badly choreographed that I was not the least bit surprised when the studio called to say the Chicago critics had, quote, seen the wrong last reel.”
fun, about
Anti-apex:
Anti-apex list of listener's: Travolta in Look Who's Talking, Mike Myers in Love Guru, Brando in Dr. Moreau, Cliffhanger for a rock-climbing date.
“Cliffhanger as anti-apex for a rock climbing date.”
fun, about
Sicario:
Craig suggests Alejandro killed the cartel leader too fast; listener jokes he is a future true crime subject.
“I'd like to suggest the Bangkok Coralback tip off award for is Craig actually a serial killer who will one day have his own Netflix true crime documentary?”
fun, about
Hall of Fame:
Hall of Fame will have plaques and a special pod.
“I think we should just make, we should actually really put more time into this and then like announce it on some special pod and have like plaques and stuff.”
fun, about
Kelly LeBrock:
LeBrock described her Weird Science role as Mary Poppins with breasts, from a Hughes documentary; she is the best part because the character is made to improve the boys.
“she plays Mary Poppins with Brest, which I thought was a good way to describe the character.”
fun, about
Bill Paxton:
Paxton showed up in the party scene in sunglasses and a trench coat just to be around the set; cast calls him the nicest person.
“Apparently he dresses up in his sunglasses in a trench coat, trench coat, and he's in the party scene.”
fun, about
Species:
Meta category: Michael Madsen is the reason this film was picked after his death; Bill wanted Donnie Brasco, but Chris said Species.
“Michael Matson passed away and we had to do a Michael Matson movie.”
fun, about
Species:
Read before the Ebert review: a $35 million budget and a gross garbled in the transcript as $13.3 million (later someone says it made over $100 million).
fun, about
Species:
The Hollywood Hills guy, Robbie, looks like Nick Wright; the club murder and the Long Island iced tea section is Bill's favorite part.
fun, about
Griffin Dunn / After Hours:
Scorsese told Dunn not to have sex for the first 8 weeks to keep desire in Paul Hackett's eyes. Dunn lasted until the massage scene weekend, had an 'accident', and Scorsese stopped the take and guessed instantly.
fun, about
Catherine O'Hara and John Heard:
Best-aged detail: a glimpse of the future Home Alone parents through a window, before they were movie parents.
“soon they will be 2 of the most famous parents in movie history.”
fun, about
Linda Fiorentino:
Bill's long riff: why wasn't she ever on The Sopranos; he proposes a one-episode arc where she messes with Tony and he kills her.
“She could have done a one episode arc where she's just fucking with Tony and then Tony kills her.”
fun, about
Linda Fiorentino / Anthony Pellicano:
Sean's research: Fiorentino dated a former FBI agent who pulled files for Pellicano's case, and he pleaded guilty; Bill: that's a movie.
fun, about
Samuel L. Jackson:
Casting what-if: 1980s crazy Sam Jackson for two minutes as a barfly or vigilante mob member; 'Jules Winfield would be great.'
fun, about
Kevin Spacey:
New award invented: Kevin Spacey doing cocaine and harassing Tess in the limo wins craziest foreshadowing of a real-life event.
fun, about
Sylvester Stallone:
He sold the script to ABC; Henry Winkler had to get it back, and Stallone insisted on writing and starring for far less money.