The Rewatchables: ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins

Published 2024-04-09; 1:42:35 by the feed.

As extracted (engineer-sonnet-2026-10-13)

The extraction calls the show “The Rewatchables (The Ringer)” and the episode “'The War of the Roses' With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins”.

Hosts: Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, Amanda Dobbins. Guests: Craig Horlbeck (producer, speaks on the episode).

Subject films: The War of the Roses (1989).

On the transcript: No speaker labels; the three hosts overlap heavily and attributions are often guesses. Many quotes are lightly garbled auto-transcription.

Awards and segments (87)

Double feature

pick Body Heat: Pairs it with Fatal Attraction as a pair of erotic thrillers to watch before this one, as a triple feature.
“I do think we should be pairing this with both body heat and fatal attraction.”
unknown · 1:32:05
pick Fatal Attraction: Second half of the erotic-thriller bill that leads into this one, as a triple feature.
“I do think we should be pairing this with both body heat and fatal attraction.”
unknown · 1:32:05
pick Romancing the Stone: Offered as the lighter, adventure-comedy end of the Douglas and Turner spectrum.
“I was going to say romance in the stone just to get the other end of the spectrum.”
unknown · 1:32:18
pick Mr. & Mrs. Smith: A feel-better follow-up after Rock Bottom Month, since the couple also tear up the house but it works out.
“Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Because they tear up the house in the same way, but then it kind of works out, at least in the movie.”
unknown · 1:32:41

Most rewatchable scene

floated The young-couple Nantucket sequence (the fake Nantucket, the wigs, the dash to the ferry).
“So I don't I don't know if this is a rewatchable scene, but it probably is just that whole part because it's so ridiculous.”
Bill Simmons · 0:21:41
floated The first big dinner scene and the bedroom argument that follows it.
“I have the 1st big dinner scene. Leaning into the bedroom argument.”
unknown · 0:22:21
floated Barbara finds her dream house and walks in on a funeral.
“Although I was going to say, for rewatchables, I like when she finds the house and walks in and it's a funeral and she's like, 0 my God, it's my destiny life.”
unknown · 0:22:26
floated Oliver's bedroom argument with Barbara: 'when I watch you eat... I just want to smash your face in.'
“Because... when I watch you eat. When I see you asleep, when I look at you lately, I just want to smash your face in.”
unknown · 0:28:39
floated Oliver runs over the cat.
“My personal favorite scene in the movie when Oliver runs over the cat is great.”
unknown · 0:31:16
floated The Christmas tree fire, with Oliver reading the fire extinguisher instructions.
“It's when the Christmas tree is lit on fire and he brings the fire extinguisher and then he has to read the instructions.”
unknown · 0:34:37
pick Oliver reading his letter to Barbara, then Barbara plugging her nostrils and saying she wants the divorce (one sequence).
“My pick is, if it is eligible as a, it's technically 2 scenes, but one sequence, it's Oliver reading his letter into Barbara plugging the nostrils, saying she wants the course.”
Mallory Rubin · 0:34:55
pick The client dinner party (Oliver pees on the fish) into the stuff-throwing fight.
“I think mine has to be the dinner party into the Stafford shirt.”
Bill Simmons · 0:35:08

Ebert Review · Bill reads Roger Ebert's review of the film.

pick The War of the Roses: Three stars; Ebert calls it a black, angry, bitter, unrelenting comedy.
“The War of the Roses is a black, angry, bitter, unrelenting comedy.”
Bill Simmons · 0:19:08

Picking Nits · Nitpicks of a film they love.

pick The young-couple scenes are not remotely Nantucket
“That's just absolutely not Lantucket.”
unknown · 0:19:56
pick Michael Douglas, in his 40s, playing a student next to an undergraduate gymnast
“Well, not that Michael Douglas is 45 playing...”
unknown · 0:20:02
pick The dog insert shot during the pate scene, clearly added later: Says the DeVito scenes could go to make room for Barbara taking a revenge date.
“I already said about the showing the dog during the pot taste scene, which clearly they put in later.”
Bill Simmons · 1:19:57
pick Gavin says he kept the Roses out of the papers
“I kept what happened out of the papers. You mean when 2 people were found dead in their mansion?”
unknown · 1:21:19
pick Whether the chandelier fall would have killed them
“I think the question of would the fall have killed them. is a valid one.”
unknown · 1:21:37
pick No neighbor ever calls the authorities
“None of their neighbors at any point called the authorities.”
unknown · 1:23:09
pick The film needs one more scene of the couple happy together
“I wanted one more scene when they were happy together.”
unknown · 1:24:49
pick Where did she get a monster truck in 1989
“Where the fuck, who had that monster truck in 1989?”
unknown · 1:25:37
pick Oliver's dog is the wrong breed; he should have a white lab or a poodle
“I don't like the dog choice for Oliver.”
unknown · 1:26:23

What Aged the Best · What about the film has held up best (transcribed as 'what stage the best').

pick Douglas and Turner together as comedic geniuses
“Um, you know, we already covered this, but I do think the ultimate pick here has to just be Douglas and Turner not just as sex symbols, but as comedic geniuses.”
unknown · 0:36:04
pick The stage of marriage where everything the other person does annoys you
“We already talked about the depiction of the stage of marriage where every single thing a person does annoys you to your, like, the fiber of your being.”
unknown · 0:38:44
pick The framing device of Gavin's legal practice: She wavered between aged-best and aged-worst; later says she landed on best because it gives the movie a warped-fable quality. Attribution inferred from the later 'where I landed' line.
“The framing device. The fact that we are accessing this story, this great saga of the roses, through Gavin's legal practice.”
Mallory Rubin · 0:39:05
pick liver pate: The recurring liver pate, including the line about selling liver to their friends. Attribution inferred from continuity.
“It's the very specific presence of river pate in... dozens of scenes in this movie.”
Mallory Rubin · 0:39:34
pick Sitting at opposite ends of the long dinner table to show you hate each other: Also lists leaving the appliances on, locking someone in the sauna, and sawing the heels off shoes.
“Sitting at opposite ends of the dinner table to prove you hate each other, just all time.”
Amanda Dobbins · 0:40:38
pick The former gymnast as a character trait used as a weapon
“Um, the former gymnast as a character trait when it's used as a weapon in movies.”
unknown · 0:42:03
pick Gavin's quotes about love and divorce
“There are 2 dilemmas that rattle the human skull.”
unknown · 0:42:56
pick The film's huge popularity in Germany (Der Rosenkrieg)
“This movie is like incredibly popular in Germany.”
unknown · 0:43:27
pick The insult back-and-forth: stinking bitch, dumb bastard, slut, scum, filth
“I like stinking bitch, dumb bastard, slut, scum, filth, like that whole like back and forth that.”
unknown · 0:44:30

Benny Hana Award for Scene-Stealing Location · The location that steals the movie (name mangled in the transcript).

winner The Rose house: Almost like the set of a play; Gavin's law library gets a mention.
“But it's probably the house, right?”
unknown · 0:45:07

Big Kahuna Burger · Best use of food and drink; called a three-way race.

pick The doggy tartare (pate)
“The big Goonaburger, where best use of food and drink, obviously, the doggy tartars.”
Bill Simmons · 0:45:32
pick The pissed-on fish
“Oh, I was going to say the pissfish.”
unknown · 0:45:36
pick Benny's fake pate, plus the fig and cognac sauce talk at the first dinner party
“The, it pains me to say, but the, the, the Benny fake alpate.”
unknown · 0:45:47

Mallory Rubin Award (did it need a better sex scene) · Did this movie need a better sex scene? (name mangled as 'Malariuben').

pick The War of the Roses: Says no for the first time ever: the movie is perfectly calibrated and the sex is present even when it is not on screen.
“This might be the 1st time I answered this question has ever been no.”
Mallory Rubin · 0:46:15
pick The War of the Roses: Says yes, a little more, given she is a gymnast.
“What I'm gonna say is if she's gonna be a gymnast, yeah, we need a little more.”
Bill Simmons · 0:46:26

Butch's Girlfriend Award · The weak link of the film.

winner The Danny DeVito framing-device scenes: Argues the movie is better without him on screen; a second voice agrees.
“The Danny DeVito scenes, even though there's good wisdom in them, I think you could make this same movie, and he's not in it talking to that guy at all, and we probably have 2 more scenes with our heroes, the roses, or villains, whatever you want to call them.”
unknown · 0:48:09
pick The pacing, with the tonally distinct halves and the slow opening credits
“It's ultimately, I think, the same thing, but for different, the pacing.”
unknown · 0:50:21
pick The terrazzo floor in the foyer: Calls the house very late 80s and gaudy.
“Yeah, I did the terrazzo floor in the foyer.”
Amanda Dobbins · 0:51:21
nominee The mute client Gavin tells the story to
“I think the, I don't know why the client has to be just a corpse, the mu client.”
unknown · 0:56:12

Overacting Award · The Ruffalo Award; the hosts give it here to the DeVito framing scenes (idea of the award not stated in this episode).

winner Danny DeVito as Gavin: Two voices say they had the framing scenes here; Bill later says 'which we already gave to DeVito'.
“I have them as the ruffalo.”
unknown · 0:49:38

Can You Dig It Award · Most memorable quote.

winner Never apologize for being multi-orgasmic
“Probably never apologized for being multi-orgasmic, pretty hilarious.”
unknown · 0:56:45

Hottest Take Award · The hottest take; the segment is named after Chris Ryan's Luke Wilson as Harrison Ford take from another episode.

pick Gavin engineered the whole divorce (conspiracy theory): Argues Gavin stands to gain and is the one who tells Oliver to move back in. Attribution inferred from the handoff to Amanda right after.
“All right, I'm going to throw out a conspiracy theory as a hottest take, and I want to see if you're receptive.”
Mallory Rubin · 0:57:15
pick The Rose house is not even a top 20 movie house: Reads out a list of 17 movie houses she likes better; the others add more until it passes 20.
“This is not even a top 20 movie house.”
Amanda Dobbins · 0:59:09
pick The dog should have died in the pate: Says test audiences were horrified, so the dog's fate was cut; he wants the dark version.
“The dog should have died in the pate.”
Bill Simmons · 1:03:16

Casting What-Ifs · Almost-castings and recasts.

pick Cher as Barbara Rose: The only near-casting he could find in research.
“I couldn't really find any other than that Cher was in the mix for Barbara Rosa for a little while.”
Bill Simmons · 1:05:20
pick Jonathan Demme: Pictured as a black comedy with characters talking into the camera.
“What's this movie of Jonathan Demi's directing it?”
unknown · 1:07:23
pick Set it in Seattle rather than Washington, DC: Community-property law comes up as a wrinkle.
“just should have been Washington and the city just should have been Seattle and we could have gotten some Seattle.”
unknown · 1:07:50
pick Westchester outside New York
“So I thought I thought Westchester outside of New York.”
unknown · 1:08:18
pick Tom Hanks: Argues Hanks is lovable and could do the physical comedy; others say he cannot turn off the likability.
“Oh, I think this is clearly Hanks.”
unknown · 1:15:54
pick Tom Cruise: Says Hanks is too lovable and soft.
“I think it's Cruz.”
Craig Horlbeck · 1:17:15
pick Tom Cruise: Cites Collateral crossed with the first 30 minutes of Jerry Maguire. Attribution inferred from Bill saying 'Amanda's right'.
“No, just like, I'm thinking like collateral cruise crossed with Jerry Maguire cruise.”
Amanda Dobbins · 1:17:39
pick Tom Cruise: Started on Hanks, switched after rewatching Jerry Maguire.
“I think Amanda's right.”
Bill Simmons · 1:19:07
winner Tom Cruise: The hosts tally it 3 to 1 for Cruise.
“I think it is 31 cruise.”
unknown · 1:19:16

Joey Pants Award · Best that guy.

winner J.D. Spradlin: Cited for his long run of that-guy parts, including the senator in Godfather II.
“But the real that guy is J.D. Spradlin, who I think is J.D. Spradlin, but he's the senator and godfather too.”
Bill Simmons · 1:06:00
nominee The guy from Total Recall who advises skipping the fish course at the dinner
“One is the guy from Total Recall.”
Bill Simmons · 1:05:42

Dion Waiters Award · Small role, big impact.

winner The man in the hospital whose wife stabbed him
“Yeah. I really like the guy in that when Oliver's in the hospital and there's the guy there that gets stabbed.”
unknown · 1:06:45
nominee Susan, the housekeeper
“I liked Susan.”
unknown · 1:07:01

Who Should Do the Director's Commentary · Tony Romo or Chris Collinsworth as the director's commentary.

winner Tony Romo: Jokes about the dog being in the pate and the hip swivel while pissing on the fish.
“I think it's Romo.”
unknown · 1:09:46

Apex Mountain · Where this movie sits on the career or genre mountain.

pick Michael Douglas as Oliver Rose: Not his apex: Fatal Attraction and Wall Street came earlier.
“Michael Douglas, I'm going to say no because he had Fatal Traction on Wall Street in the city, which is...”
Bill Simmons · 1:12:33
pick Kathleen Turner as Barbara Rose: Not her apex; this is the tail end, with the peak around the mid 80s.
“Turner, probably not.”
Bill Simmons · 1:12:41
pick Danny DeVito as Gavin: Notes Twins came out around the same time.
“So I think we are like around the DeVito apex.”
unknown · 1:14:07
pick Kramer vs. Kramer: Says it, not this, is the apex of divorce movies.
“It's Kramer versus Kramer.”
unknown · 1:14:38
pick The War of the Roses: Asks whether this or The Money Pit is the best movie about a house that ruins a marriage.
“Is this the best we got this house that have ruined our lives movie or would you go the money?”
unknown · 1:15:01
pick The piss on the fish: The apex of pissing on a fish.
“Uh, the piss fish? Without question.”
unknown · 1:15:24

Race Horse Name · What the funniest race horse name from the movie would be.

winner The Bald Avenger
“Race horse name, the Bald Avenger, would be the funniest fucking race horse.”
unknown · 1:19:47

Is this movie better with… · Would the movie be better with a given character actor (Sam Jackson, Philip Baker Hall and others offered).

pick Samuel L. Jackson: Says the movie is one of the whitest ever made and could use him as the person Gavin talks to.
“I gotta say, this movie actually needs Sam Jackson.”
unknown · 1:28:53
pick Philip Baker Hall: Thinks he could pull off the framing device.
“I was going to say, I think Philip Baker Hall could pull off the framing device.”
unknown · 1:29:12
pick Wayne, the dirty cop (name garbled in the transcript): Imagines him in the hospital scene or on the payroll of Oliver's law firm.
“I think maybe Wayne is actually somebody like who's in the hospital scene and then somehow inserts himself into Oliver's life from there or perhaps Wayne is involved in a case at some point.”
unknown · 1:29:47

Just One Oscar · Who should get the one Oscar for this movie.

winner Kathleen Turner as Barbara Rose: Douglas is great but already has an Oscar; the edge goes to Turner, who the hosts say could have squeezed into the 1989 best actress race.
“I think she's awesome in this movie. But Douglas is great.”
unknown · 1:30:10

Unanswerable Questions · Questions the movie leaves open.

pick What happens to the kids, the will, and the house after the deaths: Also floats the house being sold at a discount again as a haunted-house sequel.
“The kids, like, what's that next week, like, for the kids?”
unknown · 1:31:13
pick Is the silent client actually mute
“Like, is he actually mute?”
unknown · 0:56:28

What Aged the Worst · What about the film has aged worst (transcribed as 'what stage the worst').

pick Young Michael Douglas's wig
“I mean, young Michael Douglas's wig.”
unknown · 0:52:08
pick A pre-cell-phone, pre-internet plot
“Um, this is one of the rare movies I watched in thinking about how different it would have been if they had had cell phones.”
unknown · 0:52:43
pick The cruelty to the animals (cat and dog)
“I just would like to talk for another moment if we if we can about the animals in the crosshairs”
unknown · 0:53:21
pick The split couple spending Christmas together for the kids
“Spending Christmas together as a family after you've split.”
unknown · 0:54:31
pick Gavin's foot job at the dinner table
“the foot job is just kind of lame.”
unknown · 0:55:28

Most Cinematic Shot · Best shot (Bill names the award in garbled words).

winner The chandelier coming down
“which I would give the Great Shack order award for most cinematic shot as the things coming down.”
Bill Simmons · 0:33:39
nominee The pan up from Oliver's Baccarat crystals to the chandelier
“the harbinger that leads to that point when Oliver is like using his Baccarat crystals for his little personal symphony and we pan up past his face to the chandelier.”
unknown · 0:33:56

Memorabilia · What prop or piece of the movie they would own.

pick Michael Douglas's young-Oliver wig
“Clearly, I would want the wig because I would just put this on every time I did a podcast with either of you.”
Bill Simmons · 1:32:58
pick The chandelier: Weighs it against a Staffordshire figurine for practicality.
“I'm going to go with the chandelier then.”
unknown · 1:33:42
pick The PA system from Kathleen Turner's car
“I would like the car PA system on Kathleen Turner's car so that I can just imagine what I could do.”
unknown · 1:33:45

Best Life Lesson · The best life lesson from the movie.

pick Gavin's father: a man is his house, his car, his wife and his shoes
“My father used to say there are 4 things that told you what a man is.”
unknown · 1:34:05
pick When a man who makes $450 an hour tells you something for free, listen: One host jokes the real lesson is not to get divorced.
“Yeah, I think the real lesson is when a man who makes $450 an hour wants to tell you something for free, you should listen.”
unknown · 1:34:22

Who Won the Movie · Who won the movie.

winner Douglas and Turner together (the combo): Says the combo works as an exclamation point on their three films; at gunpoint, Turner.
“I would go combo just because I think it's an important exclamation point for the Douglas Turner, the 3 movies and the fact that this doesn't happen anymore, but at gunpoint, I would pick Turner.”
unknown · 1:34:53
winner Kathleen Turner as Barbara Rose: Says she has the more fun part while Douglas is befuddled for an hour.
“Because I think she has a more fun part.”
Bill Simmons · 1:35:04

Films that came up

Claims (69)

theme (theme): The War of the Roses → Kramer vs. Kramer. Roses may be the more on-point childhood divorce movie than Kramer, and the two anchor any divorce-movie pantheon.
“But this might actually be the more on point childhood divorce movie for me.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 0:02:41 · unknown (0.30 sure it was them)
contrast (contrast): Marriage Story → The War of the Roses. Marriage Story is a divorce film that makes you weep; Roses is the kind that sets up rage and bitterness.
“They're the divorce films that give the emotional response.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 0:03:35 · Mallory Rubin (0.45 sure it was them)
contrast (contrast): The War of the Roses → Marriage Story. The speakers split divorce films into emotional-response ones and ones built on rage and bitterness.
“And then the films that just set up rage and bitterness.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 0:03:38 · Mallory Rubin (0.45 sure it was them)
verdict (verdict): The War of the Roses → Kramer vs. Kramer. Kramer vs. Kramer and Roses must be on every list of four great divorce movies.
“What's interesting is I think Kramer versus Kramer War of the Rose have to be on it no matter whose list it is.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 0:03:47 · Bill Simmons (0.50 sure it was them)
contrast (contrast): Heartburn → Marriage Story. Heartburn is left off a divorce top four because it is about infidelity and the split comes late.
“It happens pretty quickly at the end that she leaves him.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 0:04:06 · unknown (0.30 sure it was them)
theme (theme): Irreconcilable Differences → The War of the Roses. Irreconcilable Differences is in one speaker's divorce top four, and it is currently unfindable.
“for me, it's irreconcilable differences would be in my top four, which you can't find.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 0:04:18 · unknown (0.30 sure it was them)
theme (theme): Mrs. Doubtfire → The War of the Roses. Mrs. Doubtfire is the divorce movie from the child's perspective, even though it reads as a Robin Williams comedy.
“I think mine is Mrs. Doubtfire for the child perspective.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 0:04:38 · unknown (0.30 sure it was them)
career (career): Michael Douglas → Kathleen Turner. Douglas and Turner were the Hepburn and Tracy of the 80s and seemed headed for 20 movies together; Roses was the last.
“Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner were the Hepburn and Tracy of the 80s”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 0:05:46 · Bill Simmons (0.40 sure it was them)
career (career): The War of the Roses → Romancing the Stone. People loved Romancing the Stone, so a third pairing made Roses look like another fun time before the dark last hour.
“I think part of the shock value of this movie was that people loved Romance in the Stone.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 0:05:57 · unknown (0.30 sure it was them)
career (career): The War of the Roses → The Jewel of the Nile. Audiences liked The Jewel of the Nile less but still liked the pair together.
“They didn't like Jewel the Nile as much, but they just like them together.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 0:06:01 · unknown (0.30 sure it was them)
career (career): Michael Douglas → The American President. For the younger speaker the first Michael Douglas movie was The American President, which made his dark turns a shock.
“the 1st Michael Douglas movie I saw was the American president.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 0:06:45 · Amanda Dobbins (0.60 sure it was them)
career (career): Michael Douglas → Basic Instinct. Douglas discovered a dark streak with Basic Instinct, a genre he excels in.
“And and then he discovered basic instinct.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 0:07:01 · Amanda Dobbins (0.60 sure it was them)
contrast (contrast): Kathleen Turner → Julia Roberts. Turner was a more interesting-choices version of Julia Roberts, with sex appeal against America's-sweetheart.
“She was Julie Roberts for Julia Roberts making more interesting choices.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 0:08:32 · unknown (0.30 sure it was them)
career (career): Kathleen Turner → The Man with Two Brains. Turner was in Steve Martin's The Man with Two Brains, not a great movie but one a Martin completist enjoys.
“she's in Man with Two Brains, which is not a great movie”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 0:09:22 · Bill Simmons (0.60 sure it was them)
career (career): Kathleen Turner → Body Heat. Turner came off Body Heat throwing everything at 119 mph and kept that up all decade.
“she comes in coming off body heat throwing like 119 miles an hour and basically kept that going for the entire decade.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 0:09:33 · Bill Simmons (0.60 sure it was them)
career (career): Kathleen Turner → Crimes of Passion. Turner made the wild Ken Russell film Crimes of Passion (housewife by day, hooker by night).
“she made that really weird Ken Russell movie where she was at like a housewife by day and a hooker by night, crimes of passion.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 0:09:50 · unknown (0.30 sure it was them)
what-if (what-if): Kathleen Turner → 9 1/2 Weeks. Turner lobbied for 9 1/2 Weeks and was devastated not to be cast.
“She wanted 9.5 weeks and they didn't cast her and she was like devastated.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 0:10:06 · unknown (0.30 sure it was them)
career (career): Kathleen Turner → Emma Stone. Turner is compared to Emma Stone: weird chances, and you are prepared for anything from her.
“the way I would compare her to somebody now would probably be, like with less Oscars, but like kind of Emma Stone”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 0:10:54 · unknown (0.30 sure it was them)
career (career): Emma Stone → Poor Things. In Poor Things Emma Stone is like Kathleen Turner and Julia Roberts combined, with sexual content in a funny tone.
“But she's sort of like Kathleen Turner and Julia Roberts combined.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 0:11:32 · unknown (0.30 sure it was them)
career (career): Margot Robbie → Kathleen Turner. Margot Robbie started down a Turner-like path before becoming Barbie.
“Margot Robbie started that way and then became Barbie.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 0:11:49 · unknown (0.30 sure it was them)
industry (industry): The War of the Roses → Olivia Colman. A remake of Roses was announced this week with Olivia Colman and Benedict Cumberbatch.
“Remaking War of the Roses with Benedict Cumberbatch.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 0:12:16 · Bill Simmons (0.50 sure it was them)
what-if (what-if): The War of the Roses → Benedict Cumberbatch. The speakers doubt Coleman and Cumberbatch can sell the initial reckless attraction the story needs.
“They need to be hot and Coleman and Cumberbatch are not hot enough.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 0:13:08 · unknown (0.30 sure it was them)
contrast (contrast): The War of the Roses → The War of the Roses. Roses is a beloved classic that is harder to make in 2024 than in 1989.
“Because this is a beloved, like, classic movie that is harder to make in 2024 than it was in 89.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 0:13:46 · unknown (0.30 sure it was them)
career (career): Kathleen Turner → Who Framed Roger Rabbit. Turner voiced Jessica Rabbit in Roger Rabbit, a hugely influential movie, in the same 80s run.
“She was the voice in who framed Roger Rabbit, which was a massive deal”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 0:14:33 · Bill Simmons (0.60 sure it was them)
career (career): Michael Douglas → Fatal Attraction. Douglas's hit run from 87 includes Fatal Attraction, Wall Street, Black Rain, Roses, Basic Instinct and more.
“And then from 87 on when he rips off Fatal Attraction, Wall Street, Black Rain, War of the Roses, shining through.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 0:14:49 · Bill Simmons (0.50 sure it was them)
career (career): Michael Douglas → Kathleen Turner. Turner films were Douglas's only comedy work, and he was good at it.
“This and like only the stuff he did with Kathleen Turner was the comedy stuff.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 0:15:35 · Bill Simmons (0.60 sure it was them)
career (career): Michael Douglas → Ant-Man (franchise). Michael Douglas's later comedy lives in the MCU as Hank Pym.
“before Michael Douglas Comedy awaits in the MCU.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 0:15:58 · Mallory Rubin (0.50 sure it was them)
industry (industry): Michael Douglas → Harrison Ford. Douglas was a peak A-list 80s star alongside Costner, Ford, Denzel and Cruise.
“Douglas is at his peak.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 0:17:48 · Bill Simmons (0.60 sure it was them)
industry (industry): Michael Douglas → The War of the Roses. Douglas's producer background gave him a spot-on commercial taste that produced rewatchable classics.
“Michael Douglas, because he thought, like, a producer and had this whole producer background”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 0:17:57 · Bill Simmons (0.50 sure it was them)
career (career): Danny DeVito → Michael Douglas. DeVito was a big 80s star who was always the third wheel with Douglas and Turner, and was doing the Schwarzenegger movies.
“He's always the 3rd wheel with these 2”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 0:18:51 · Bill Simmons (0.50 sure it was them)
verdict (verdict): Roger Ebert → The War of the Roses. The Ebert review (3 stars) called Roses a black, angry, bitter, unrelenting comedy.
“The War of the Roses is a black, angry, bitter, unrelenting comedy.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 0:19:08 · Bill Simmons (0.70 sure it was them)
contrast (contrast): Roger Ebert → James Thurber. Ebert said the war between the sexes here makes Thurber's work on the subject seem almost resigned.
“A word between the sexes that makes James Thurber's work on the same subject almost resigned by comparison”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 0:19:12 · Bill Simmons (0.60 sure it was them)
theme (theme): The War of the Roses → Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny. The ridiculous young-Douglas casting justifies de-aging in movies like Dial of Destiny.
“this is why it is okay to DH Harrison Ford in Dial of Destiny”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 0:20:42 · unknown (0.40 sure it was them)
contrast (contrast): The War of the Roses → The Natural. Michael Douglas as a student is a de-aging stretch, but The Natural with Redford as a teen is worse.
“There's a worse one.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 0:20:54 · unknown (0.30 sure it was them)
contrast (contrast): Kathleen Turner → Barbie. Barb's dream-house speech to the nanny reminds the speaker of the Barbie monologue.
“This is real like I saw the monologue in Barbie once.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 0:25:30 · unknown (0.30 sure it was them)
contrast (contrast): The War of the Roses → The War of the Roses. Unlike other divorce movies, nobody in Roses is mourning the past; Barbara feels pure resentment.
“in all of the divorce movies, it's like, someone is already mourning what they had”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 0:29:42 · Mallory Rubin (0.45 sure it was them)
what-if (what-if): Ryan Gosling → Emma Stone. Gosling and Stone could have had a Douglas-and-Turner-style run of movies.
“Do this particular, it would be just have a run where they do like 7 movies together?”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 0:36:29 · unknown (0.20 sure it was them)
people (people): Michael Douglas → Kathleen Turner. Bill read a 91 Premiere interview in which Turner said a fourth Douglas film was discussed.
“So they did three, but they probably could have done seven.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 0:37:03 · unknown (0.30 sure it was them)
people (people): Tom Hanks → Meg Ryan. A romantic pair who made three movies together is the closest modern analog to Douglas and Turner, counting Joe Versus the Volcano.
“No, they did 3 because Joe and the volcano, right?”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 0:37:17 · unknown (0.30 sure it was them)
career (career): Ryan Gosling → Michael Douglas. Barbie made the speaker wonder whether Gosling might have a weird 2020s Michael Douglas career.
“if he could have just had this weird 2020s version of a Michael Douglas career as he hit his 40s.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 0:38:00 · unknown (0.30 sure it was them)
people (people): Bradley Cooper → Jennifer Lawrence. Cooper and Lawrence paired in American Hustle and Serena as another recurring screen couple.
“They were San American Hustle the next year”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 0:38:14 · unknown (0.30 sure it was them)
career (career): Dan Castellaneta → Homer Simpson. The silent client is the voice of Homer Simpson; the speakers are baffled by that casting.
“it's just weird that that became Homer Simpson.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 0:44:21 · unknown (0.30 sure it was them)
career (career): Sean Astin → The Lord of the Rings. Seeing Sean Astin as Josh, a speaker can only say Samwise Gamgee now; another thought of Toy Soldiers.
“To me, I'm now always forever going to say Sanwise Gamge.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 0:44:47 · unknown (0.30 sure it was them)
lineage (lineage): The War of the Roses → Game of Thrones. The actual historical Wars of the Roses was a big inspiration for Game of Thrones.
“Big inspiration for Game of Thrones.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 0:56:37 · unknown (0.30 sure it was them)
contrast (contrast): The War of the Roses → Father of the Bride. Amanda ranks the Roses house outside her top 20 movie houses, beginning her list with the Father of the Bride house.
“This is not even a top 20 movie house.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 0:59:09 · Amanda Dobbins (0.85 sure it was them)
craft (craft): Nancy Meyers → Father of the Bride. Nancy Meyers is the goat of picking houses; Father of the Bride is the best to live in of all her houses.
“she was the goat of picking house.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 1:00:25 · Amanda Dobbins (0.70 sure it was them)
what-if (what-if): Cher → The War of the Roses. Cher was in the mix for Barbara Rose for a while.
“Cher was in the mix for Barbara Rosa for a little while.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 1:05:20 · Bill Simmons (0.60 sure it was them)
career (career): The War of the Roses → Total Recall. One 'that guy' in the dinner scene is the sweating man from Total Recall.
“One is the guy from Total Recall.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 1:05:42 · Bill Simmons (0.60 sure it was them)
career (career): J.D. Spradlin → The Godfather Part II. The real 'that guy' of Roses is J.D. Spradlin, the senator in The Godfather Part II.
“he's the senator and godfather too.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 1:06:00 · Bill Simmons (0.50 sure it was them)
what-if (what-if): Jonathan Demme → The War of the Roses. Demme as a recasting director, with Rachel Getting Married vibes and a black-comedy tone.
“What's this movie of Jonathan Demi's directing it?”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 1:07:23 · unknown (0.30 sure it was them)
theme (theme): The War of the Roses → Sleeping with the Enemy. Other movie houses the speakers suggest as better than the Roses mansion.
“What about the sleeping with the enemy house that she ended up staying in?”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 1:08:47 · unknown (0.30 sure it was them)
industry (industry): Phil Collins → The War of the Roses. Phil Collins wrote a song for Roses that was supposed to be in it but took too long and the offer was withdrawn.
“Phil Collins wrote a song called Something Happened on the Way to Heaven that was supposed to be in this.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 1:10:38 · Bill Simmons (0.70 sure it was them)
career (career): Danny DeVito → Twins. Twins came out around the same time as Roses, so this is near the DeVito apex.
“Did you know this and like twins right around the same time.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 1:14:03 · Bill Simmons (0.50 sure it was them)
theme (theme): The War of the Roses → The Money Pit. The Money Pit is offered as the alternative house-that-ruins-a-marriage movie.
“Is this the best we got this house that have ruined our lives movie or would you go the money?”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 1:15:01 · unknown (0.30 sure it was them)
what-if (what-if): Tom Cruise → Eyes Wide Shut. Late-80s cocky Cruise or Eyes Wide Shut-era Cruise could have worked as Oliver.
“Or eyes wide shut, era Tom Cruise, you know?”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 1:16:20 · unknown (0.30 sure it was them)
what-if (what-if): Tom Hanks → The War of the Roses. Hanks versus Cruise as the lead; Hanks cannot turn off lovability, but one speaker thinks he is right.
“I actually think this is the kind of movie Tom Hanks needed to make and tried to make a couple times in the 80s.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 1:16:49 · unknown (0.30 sure it was them)
contrast (contrast): Tom Hanks → A League of Their Own. Hanks is too lovable and soft; even in A League of Their Own as the mean guy he stays lovable.
“like in the league of their own, he's still a lovable guy.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 1:17:22 · Craig Horlbeck (0.50 sure it was them)
what-if (what-if): Tom Cruise → Jerry Maguire. Cruise could play the Oliver role as the cocky, beaten-up Jerry Maguire of the first 30 minutes.
“I'm thinking like collateral cruise crossed with Jerry Maguire cruise.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 1:17:39 · Amanda Dobbins (0.50 sure it was them)
industry (industry): Jerry Maguire → Shine. The speaker is angry Cruise lost the Oscar to Jeffrey Rush in Shine.
“he lost to Jeffrey Rush and Shine”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 1:18:58 · unknown (0.30 sure it was them)
what-if (what-if): Samuel L. Jackson → The War of the Roses. Sam Jackson as the lawyer's silent client, since Roses is one of the whitest movies ever.
“I gotta say, this movie actually needs Sam Jackson.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 1:28:53 · Bill Simmons (0.50 sure it was them)
what-if (what-if): Philip Baker Hall → The War of the Roses. Philip Baker Hall could have pulled off the framing-device lawyer.
“I think Philip Baker Hall could pull off the framing device.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 1:29:12 · unknown (0.40 sure it was them)
industry (industry): Kathleen Turner → The Fabulous Baker Boys. The 1989 Best Actress race: Pfeiffer was robbed, and Turner could have fit among the nominees.
“I feel like we could have squeezed Kathleen into one of those spots.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 1:30:54 · unknown (0.30 sure it was them)
theme (theme): The War of the Roses → The Shining. The house in Roses becomes a domestic horror, with the Shining hotel as its sequel image.
“The shining house, just for the shining hotel.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 1:31:45 · unknown (0.30 sure it was them)
programming (programming): The War of the Roses → Body Heat. Triple-feature pitch: Roses with Body Heat and Fatal Attraction.
“I do think we should be pairing this with both body heat and fatal attraction.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 1:32:05 · Mallory Rubin (0.45 sure it was them)
programming (programming): The War of the Roses → Fatal Attraction. Pair an erotic-thriller double with Roses for a full day of 80s marriage trouble.
“I think that should be like we get an erotic thriller with both of them and then we watch this”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 1:32:10 · Mallory Rubin (0.45 sure it was them)
programming (programming): The War of the Roses → Romancing the Stone. The speakers pair Roses with Romancing the Stone for the other end of the Douglas/Turner spectrum.
“I was going to say romance in the stone just to get the other end of the spectrum.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 1:32:18 · unknown (0.30 sure it was them)
programming (programming): The War of the Roses → Mr. & Mrs. Smith. Mr. & Mrs. Smith is the lighter double feature since the couple also wreck the house but it works out.
“Because they tear up the house in the same way, but then it kind of works out, at least in the movie.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 1:32:43 · unknown (0.30 sure it was them)
craft (craft): The War of the Roses → Poor Things. The red-sky backdrop outside DeVito's office looks like a fairy-tale set, like Poor Things.
“looks like you're like in poor things for like a second.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 1:36:19 · Craig Horlbeck (0.50 sure it was them)
lineage (lineage): The War of the Roses → Gone Girl. Roses is described as a prequel to Gone Girl; it could have pivoted to Turner killing Douglas and going on the run.
“This movie's kind of a prequel to Gone Girl.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 1:37:30 · Craig Horlbeck (0.50 sure it was them)

Fun items (25)

fun, about Basic Instinct: The Rewatchables Basic Instinct episode did surprisingly well on YouTube.
“For some reason, did really well on YouTube, that episode.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 0:07:53 · Bill Simmons (0.60 sure it was them)
fun, about Kathleen Turner: Turner was at 'sex appeal on 11' from the first frame: the handstand, bralessness and wet shirt within ten minutes.
“The handstand and the bralessness, which is also just right there.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 0:09:09 · unknown (0.30 sure it was them)
fun, about The War of the Roses: A baccarat story told at the first big dinner scene, with Oliver coaching and then taking over Barbara's story, then the bedroom debrief.
“Because it's all going good and we know it's going to go badly, but when she tries to tell the story and he's like coaching her and then he takes over”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 0:23:08 · unknown (0.30 sure it was them)
fun, about The War of the Roses: When asked why she wants a divorce, Barbara says she wants to smash his face in when she watches him eat.
“When I see you asleep, when I look at you lately, I just want to smash your face in.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 0:28:44 · unknown (0.30 sure it was them)
fun, about The War of the Roses: Oliver's cat is run over; the group debates murder versus voluntary manslaughter.
“I think it was a voluntary manslaughter.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 0:31:32 · unknown (0.30 sure it was them)
fun, about The War of the Roses: At the client dinner Oliver pees on the fish; Bill calls it the best piss ever on a fish.
“I think this is my favorite scene.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 0:32:21 · unknown (0.30 sure it was them)
fun, about The War of the Roses: The chandelier crash is the Great Shack order award for most cinematic shot.
“which I would give the Great Shack order award for most cinematic shot as the things coming down.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 0:33:39 · Bill Simmons (0.60 sure it was them)
fun, about The War of the Roses: The nitpick that this is a roughly 20-foot drop, not a 100-foot one.
“It feels like it's like a 100 foot drop.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 0:33:52 · Bill Simmons (0.50 sure it was them)
fun, about The War of the Roses: Liver pate appears in dozens of scenes, and the film gets a line out of it.
“It's the very specific presence of river pate in... dozens of scenes in this movie.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 0:39:34 · unknown (0.30 sure it was them)
fun, about The War of the Roses: In Germany the movie is called Der Rosenkrieg and the word became pop-culture shorthand for a high-profile divorce.
“And it became synonymous with high-profile divorce and is now just a word that's used in German pop culture.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 0:43:43 · unknown (0.30 sure it was them)
fun, about Michael Douglas: Young Douglas's wig is the worst of the movie; it looks like they lost the wig and grabbed one from a store.
“I mean, young Michael Douglas's wig.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 0:52:08 · unknown (0.30 sure it was them)
fun, about The War of the Roses: The famous line 'never apologize for being multi-orgasmic' wins most memorable quote.
“Probably never apologized for being multi-orgasmic, pretty hilarious.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 0:56:45 · Bill Simmons (0.50 sure it was them)
fun, about Luke Wilson: Craig's hot take from a prior episode, that Luke Wilson could have been Harrison Ford, now has the hottest-take award renamed after him.
“So the CR thinks Luke Wilson could have been Harrison Ford, hottest take award.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 0:56:50 · Bill Simmons (0.70 sure it was them)
fun, about The War of the Roses: Conspiracy theory: lawyer Gavin engineered the whole divorce and benefits from the outcome.
“Part of the reason that Gavin is the framing device for this movie is because this is actually all a Gavin Longcon, the entire thing.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 0:57:23 · Mallory Rubin (0.45 sure it was them)
fun, about The War of the Roses: Amanda's unranked top-20 list of best movie houses, which grows past 30 as others add theirs.
“This is not even a top 20 movie house.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 0:59:09 · Amanda Dobbins (0.85 sure it was them)
fun, about The War of the Roses: Test audiences were so horrified by the dog-pate idea that they added a shot of the dog.
“the test audiences were so horrified that she killed the dog and made dog pate that they cut in the shot of the dog.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 1:03:41 · Bill Simmons (0.50 sure it was them)
fun, about The War of the Roses: Deleted scenes on YouTube include the indoor garden before he saws off her heels, and a heater scene explaining why everyone is sweaty.
“So 20 minutes of deleted scenes are on YouTube.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 1:11:02 · Bill Simmons (0.70 sure it was them)
fun, about The War of the Roses: A real-life man was inspired by the movie and got a seven-year prison sentence.
“There's a real life guy who got inspired by this movie and it gets super dark.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 1:12:12 · Bill Simmons (0.70 sure it was them)
fun, about The War of the Roses: Oliver's 1960 British Morgan Roadster Plus Four is a rare car styled like a 1929 model.
“The 1960 British Morgan Roadster plus four.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 1:12:51 · unknown (0.30 sure it was them)
fun, about Michael Douglas: Hank Pym in the Ant-Man movies is where the speakers send you for Douglas comedy and baseball-cap Douglas.
“If you want to see him wear a baseball cap, I'll refer you once again to his work as Hank Pim.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 1:13:55 · Mallory Rubin (0.55 sure it was them)
fun, about The War of the Roses: A new category: could Cruise or Hanks have played the lead; the vote splits and ends 2-to-1 Cruise.
“Cruise or Hanks?”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 1:15:43 · Bill Simmons (0.50 sure it was them)
fun, about The War of the Roses: A race horse named The Bald Avenger would be hilarious.
“Race horse name, the Bald Avenger, would be the funniest fucking race horse.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 1:19:47 · Bill Simmons (0.50 sure it was them)
fun, about The War of the Roses: Life lesson of the movie: a man's house, car, wife and shoes tell you what he is.
“His house, his car, his wife and his shoes.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 1:34:08 · unknown (0.30 sure it was them)
fun, about The War of the Roses: Craig's take: the movie is perfect because it's imperfect, and nobody would make it that deranged now.
“I just love this movie is genuinely perfect because it's so imperfect.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 1:36:03 · Craig Horlbeck (0.60 sure it was them)
fun, about The War of the Roses: The movie is the Gone Girl prequel: Turner could have killed Douglas and gone on the run.
“This movie's kind of a prequel to Gone Girl.”
The Rewatchables · ‘The War of the Roses’ With Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin, and Amanda Dobbins · 1:37:30 · Craig Horlbeck (0.50 sure it was them)

Who's talking

Bill Simmons (host): Loves 80s movie-star careers, studio and box-office lore, and Kathleen Turner as a teenage ideal. Cannot stand wasted runtime and the DeVito framing scenes. A sucker for production trivia, deleted scenes and Phil Collins-style what-ifs.
Mallory Rubin (host): Drawn to despairing divorce films like Marriage Story, analytic about tone and character psychology, and a Michael Douglas-comedy booster (Hank Pym). Hates cruelty to animals in movies.
Amanda Dobbins (guest): A child of divorce who treats divorce movies as a pantheon, loves interiors and real-estate fantasy (the Nancy Meyers houses), and holds firm opinions on decor. Can't abide the late-80s terrazzo floor.
Craig Horlbeck (guest): Producer who came to the film fresh, has not seen Romancing the Stone, and loves odd, unpolished older movies. Skeptical of market-tested modern film.

The show's recurring bits

Apex Mountain: The moment a star peaks; where on the mountain a performance sits.
Who Won the Movie: The hosts name the person who came out of the film best off.
The Ebert review: Roger Ebert's original review and star rating read aloud. Ebert is cited, never on the show.
Casting what-ifs: Who was almost cast, or who should have been.
Most rewatchable scene: The scene each host would stop on while flipping channels.
Aged best / aged worst: What holds up and what does not.
Picking Nits: The little things in a film the hosts love that they don't think totally work: the nits.
Double feature: The film each host would pair it with; a programming pick.

Names the transcriber got wrong

'Raj' (0:19:03) is Roger Ebert, running Ebert-review bit
'Harburn' (0:03:57) is Heartburn
'Romance in the Stone / Romance and Stone' is Romancing the Stone
'Jewel the Nile' is The Jewel of the Nile
'Sanwise Gamge' is Samwise Gamgee
'Dan Castellanada' is Dan Castellaneta
'Dana DeVito' is Danny DeVito
'Demi' is Jonathan Demme
'Cabin Black' is probably 'Cabin Fever'/unknown, unclear
'Gum Pass' / 'gum house' is unclear, perhaps Gone Girl
'Tennenbaum' is Royal Tenenbaums
'Rosencrank/Rosenkrigg' is Der Rosenkrieg
'Glenn Coast' is Glenn Close
'Danny Trail' is probably Danny Trejo
'Longcon' (0:57:23) likely 'long con'
'Ruffalo award' (0:49:38) likely a Rewatchables weak-link award name
'Great Shack order' (0:33:43) likely Great Chandelier/'Great Shatner' award, unclear
'Scarlet' (0:11:42) is Scarlett Johansson
'Craig Horlbeck / Coralbeck / Collinsworth / Corleone' variants are the producer