Loves charisma performances, movie stars at their peak, and trivia from Tarantino's circle. Champions Brad Pitt as the winner. Can't stand awards mistakes like The Artist winning, and he warns about the 'Oscars should wait five years' view. A sucker for 1960s details, driving scenes, and Boogie Nights real estate.
Stances
Brad Pitt won the movie
Oscars should be awarded five years later
Focus is underrated
Humor: Runs bits on movies he almost bought, fake research, and sports-style comparisons.
In their words
“I think Pitt won the movie.” (1:17:58)
“I think I'm the only one that likes focus.” (0:32:43)
Loves the mid-80s Eddie Murphy and the movie's cultural phenomenon, and has a clear soft spot for Lisa Eilbacher. Is a sucker for Hollywood-excess anecdotes (Simpson, cocaine, Rourke, Stallone) and for sports analogies. Has little patience for plot logic holes but loves list games and categories.
Stances
Eddie Murphy in 1984 was the biggest star in the world after Michael Jackson
Lisa Eilbacher is the Apex Mountain and the film's winner
The Eddie-Murphy-as-star what-if game (Top Gun) is a worthwhile question
Humor: Rapid-fire sports analogies (WAR, LeBron, Dion Waiters, Shawn Michaels) and mock-indignant asides.
Loves the lore of how a movie got made, the lists (casting what-ifs, recasting), and the 'unanswerable questions' category. Has little patience for Lawrence Tierney's acting or for Ebert missing on Tarantino. He remembers the 1992 Boston era of a movie that mattered and is a sucker for a heist.
Stances
Tarantino won the movie
Lawrence Tierney is bad (the 'Mike Francesa' bit)
Does not want new Reservoir Dogs content
Wants to see the heist, plays devil's advocate
Humor: Throws sports analogies, invents award names, and runs recurring bits like Roger Ebert and Felony Land.
In their words
“I love bank ice scenes.” (1:23:55)
“It's Tarantino, and I think all of those actors robbing a bank.” (1:23:22)
“Can I make the case for seeing the heist?” (1:23:18)
Loves ensemble casts and film-lineage framing, sports analogies (Dwight Gooden, Penny Hardaway), and the show's recurring awards. Wants a better soundtrack, and cannot stand the ending speech. Is a sucker for his wife and kids' opinions of the film.
Stances
Mean Girls is the best Lorne Michaels movie
Lohan's decline is like an athlete's lost career
Soundtrack and ending speech are weak
Humor: Dry, sports-and-family riffs, often teased by his co-hosts.
In their words
“that was like Dwight Gooden in 1985 on the Mets.” (0:27:59)
“I think this is the best Lauren Michaels movie.” (0:16:22)
Bill loves old-school sports myth-making, baseball nostalgia, the Natural's chill scene, and stat-nerd rabbit holes like reconstructing Roy Hobbs's season. He is picky about throwing motions and lineup logic, and is a sucker for the dugout-emptying slow-motion shot. He ranks Bull Durham/Hoosiers/Rocky near the top and finds slow hospital stretches in sports movies unbearable.
Stances
The Natural used to be the greatest sports movie but is now slower than he remembers
Every great sports movie needs a chill scene
Dislikes bad throwing motions on screen
Hospital detours in sports movies should be cut short
Roy Hobbs was a Bonds-level statistical machine, or worse
Humor: Dry, list-making sports-nerd riffs and reaching pop-culture asides (Bachelor, Harry Potter) delivered as if serious.
In their words
“My move with sports movies is like, get me out of the hospital as fast as possible.” (1:00:37)
“nothing drives me crazier than when somebody can't throw in a baseball movie.” (0:56:43)
Loves Gen X touchstones and basketball analogies; sticks up for Winona Ryder and Friends season one; mocks Troy-type guys and over-talky English majors. A sucker for half-assed internet research and awards-bit tradition.
Stances
Winona Ryder won the movie
Singles is a flawed but beloved sibling
Ben Stiller deserves credit
Humor: Rolls NBA references and mock-feuds into everything.
In their words
“I do look at her in a way, like, uh, like I look at some NBA players.” (0:32:14)
Loves sports-adjacent silliness, big broad comedy and quotable lines, and wedding toast chaos. Can't stand being wrong about movie trivia he has already litigated. A sucker for his own running categories and bits (Ebert, Joey Pants, Dion Waiters).
Stances
Roger Ebert is never to be trusted on comedies
Comedies of the era were a nice 6-7 year run
Open your movie with a wedding theory
Luke Wilson is not Harrison Ford
Humor: Deadpan rapid-fire teasing of co-hosts and mock-outrage, plus sports references.
In their words
“never to be trusted on comedies.” (0:15:17)
“This movie also nicely slots into my open your movie with a wedding theory.” (1:01:05)
Loves sports analogies, Kurt Russell and Pacino's Cruising, defends 90s movies like Fletch. Dislikes dated romance interludes like the picnic. A sucker for mustaches and Dana Wheeler-Nicholson.
Stances
Val Kilmer wins the movie
Wyatt Earp is the rival, Tombstone is more entertaining
Cruising is incredible
Cut the 12-minute theater scene
Humor: Rapid-fire sports comparisons and teasing his cohosts.
In their words
“I think this movie is the perfect microcosm of both of their careers.” (0:12:28)
“I just don't come to Tombstone for picnics” (0:29:44)
Loves old-school and 5 o'clocker action, Seagal, Stallone, Nick Cage, and movies that know exactly what they are. Can't stand over-explained worldbuilding or sequels that give the hero a known villain. A sucker for the Neeson comeback and for ranking things by era.
Stances
Taken is the perfect 5 o'clocker
Taken 2 is not better than the first
Neeson is the Apex Mountain of the movie
The first Taken works because there is no main villain
Humor: Deadpan nitpicking, escalating sports analogies, and long self-deprecating dad stories.
In their words
“I just like watching movies that know exactly what they are.” (0:32:10)
“I don't think it's a John Wick 2 situation where John Wick 2 is actually somehow better than John Wick one, or we could at least have the debate.” (0:42:12)
Loves big star-driven movies and sets the show's categories; adores the Wahlberg and Baldwin scenes, Boston flavor and the crazy cast what-ifs. Can't stand Nicholson's performance here, implausible plot points and the rat. A sucker for 'that guy' actors, Goodfellas and Boston details.
Stances
The Departed is a Hall of Famer because it is flawed and fun
Leo won the movie, Nicholson loses it
Costello should have been Pacino
Damon's Boston accent beats Wahlberg's
Scorsese's Stones fetish is funny
Humor: Deadpan nitpicking, jokes about plot holes and trivia, rapid mock-outrage.
In their words
“This is a perfect rewatchable because it is a great bad movie.” (0:12:23)
Calls Spielberg the greatest director ever but is skeptical of his late period and Munich. Loves Jaws, Raiders, and E.T. through his kids, and measures movies by whether kids can stay with them. Distrusts the calculating, career-minded side of Spielberg and Spielberg's DreamWorks hedging.
Stances
Spielberg's first 15 years are the greatest career stretch ever
His recent work is solid but not special
Spielberg is 'calculating' where Mann or Coppola are obsessive
Judges movies by whether his kids can watch them
Humor: Wry and teasing; leans on sports analogies (LeBron, Popovich) and bits like 'hit by a car in 1986'.
In their words
“if you just got hit by a car at the peak of your career, how would people remember you?” (0:51:08)
“I judge everything by my kids who have, you know, 21st century ADD with pop culture.” (1:00:09)
Their shows' recurring bits
Running bits, not opinions; a critic read aloud is cited, not present.
The Big Picture
Drafts: Hosts and guests draft films in rounds; every pick is a recommendation with an argument.
Hall of Fame: A star's or director's best, ranked and argued.
Countdowns: Ranked lists, top five or top ten.
The Rewatchables
Apex Mountain: The moment a star peaks; where on the mountain a performance sits.
Who Won the Movie: The hosts name the person who came out of the film best off.
The Ebert review: Roger Ebert's original review and star rating read aloud. Ebert is cited, never on the show.
Casting what-ifs: Who was almost cast, or who should have been.
Most rewatchable scene: The scene each host would stop on while flipping channels.
Aged best / aged worst: What holds up and what does not.
Picking Nits: The little things in a film the hosts love that they don't think totally work: the nits.
Double feature: The film each host would pair it with; a programming pick.
Their claims
Showing 801–900 of 1,295 claims.
theme (era):
Miracle → Remember the Titans.
Both belong to the one-star-on-the-poster era of sports movies from 97 to 05.
“this is from 97 to basically 05, premise, get one big star.”
lineage (remake):
Father of the Bride → Father of the Bride.
The 1991 film remakes the Spencer Tracy and Elizabeth Taylor original, and the duo argue the remake anxiety has faded with time.
“there is obviously the original with Spencer Tracy and Elizabeth Taylor, but fine.”
contrast (tonal opposite):
Father of the Bride → Rachel Getting Married.
Rachel Getting Married is the dysfunctional, intense wedding movie; Father of the Bride is the gentle one where everyone ends up loving each other.
“the bizarre version of this is Rachel's getting married.”
people (dad performance):
Father of the Bride → Rachel Getting Married.
The dad in Rachel Getting Married, and the kitchen meltdown scene, is amazing but intense in the opposite way.
unmapped (aged-comedy peers):
The Jerk → Airplane!.
The Jerk is grouped with Airplane and Blues Brothers as all-time bangers that faded as years passed.
“like airplane, Blues Brothers, some of those where they were just like, all kind, all time bangers, and then as the years passed, they've kind of faded”
unmapped (same actress, sexiness as a trait):
The Man with Two Brains → Body Heat.
Kathleen Turner's sexiness is exploited as a trait in both films, an all-time hot performance.
“between that and body heat, all time hot performance by an actress where it's just like the sexiness of the actress is actually a trait they're exploiting in the movie.”
career (career turn):
Baby Boom → Diane Keaton.
Baby Boom was the first time Keaton moved away from Annie Hall and Woody Allen and the Godfather to lead a movie herself.
“it was the 1st time she moved away from Annie Hall, Woody Allen's 70s, Kate Corleone, and it's like, can she actually lead a movie herself and she did?”
unmapped (marriage and directing team):
Nancy Meyers → Charles Shyer.
Husband and wife team who did Baby Boom and both Father of the Bride films, then divorced and she went on to direct Parent Trap and others.
“they were like a husband and wife directing team, and they did Baby Boom, they did Father-Bride, Father-Bride part 2, and then they flip, and she directs Parent trap.”
lineage (remake-distance analogy):
Father of the Bride → Risky Business.
Remaking a film starring the biggest stars of 1982-83 would still have them hanging over it, as Elizabeth Taylor hung over the 1991 remake.
“if you remade risky business, Tom Cruise would hang over that movie.”
unmapped (narration that works):
Father of the Bride → Goodfellas.
Narration is usually a crutch, but it works in Goodfellas and here because the monologue is good and the narration lets George say what he cannot say.
“Narration is usually a crutch and you really, like Goodfellas is a good example of like, narration totally worked.”
unmapped (basketball scene scale):
Father of the Bride → Teen Wolf.
Teen Wolf has the worst basketball scene ever; Father of the Bride's father-daughter scene rates about an eight against its one.
“The worst, the worst basketball scene ever in a movie is in Teen Wolf.”
what-if (casting what-if):
George Clooney → Father of the Bride.
Recasting Brian with 1991 Facts of Life-era Clooney would have made him more of a threat and pulled the focus.
“I'm thinking Moet, Facts of Life, George Clooney, where it's like, he's still boyish.”
people (bookend casting):
Tom Irish → Father of the Bride.
He debuted in the 1950 film and made his last appearance in the 1991 remake, playing Ben Banks in both.
“made his film debut in the father of the bride in 1950, and his last film appearance in this movie, and he played the same character in both Ben Banks.”
theme (character basis):
Martin Short → Kevin Lee.
Short's wedding planner is based on Kevin Lee of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills who helped with Pitt and Aniston's wedding.
“Martin Short portrayed the wedding planner. is the portrayal is based on somebody named Kevin Lee.”
contrast (tonal opposite):
Father of the Bride → Rachel Getting Married.
Apex pick: Father of the Bride is the happy wedding movie, not the one with complete dysfunction.
“not Rachel's getting married where it's just complete dysfunction and people fucking in the basement.”
people (wedding movie exclusion / actor redemption):
Father of the Bride → The Godfather.
Simmons does not count The Godfather as a wedding movie, and says Keaton's performance here makes up for Kay Corleone.
“I don't count the godfather as a wedding movie, even though the wedding is important.”
verdict (best-Martin-movie rival):
Roxanne → Father of the Bride.
Roxanne was a massive movie that people feared he could not pull off, but this is still his best.
“Roxanne was a massive movie. And was a movie that people were not were worried that he was going to pull it off and they did, and it's really good.”
verdict (best-Martin-movie rival):
Parenthood → Father of the Bride.
Some would pick Parenthood as his best because it tried this type of movie first and spun off into a TV show.
“Some people might say parenthood actually, because it's the 1st type of movie that tried to do the stuff they did.”
industry (industry):
Saturday Night Fever → Jaws.
Jaws, Rocky, Star Wars and this film mark the 70s run where pop culture and the business changed direction.
“75, we have Jaws, which creates the summer blockbuster.”
theme (theme):
Saturday Night Fever → Mean Streets.
70s and 80s films tried to capture a city or group; Scorsese did it in Mean Streets with people who are not great either.
“like, you know, mean streets, Scorsese does that.”
contrast (contrast):
Saturday Night Fever → The Sopranos.
Simmons wonders whether the producers knew these men were bad guys, unlike David Chase on The Sopranos.
“I know for the Sopranos, for instance, you know that David Chase knows that these are bad guys”
industry (industry):
Saturday Night Fever → Equus.
Best Actor field that year included Richard Burton in Equus, which Kimmel says is unfair for plays adapted to film.
industry (industry):
Saturday Night Fever → The Goodbye Girl.
Richard Dreyfuss won the Best Actor Oscar over Travolta for The Goodbye Girl; Simmons calls it a do-over.
“And then our winner, Richard Dreyfus and the Goodbye Girl.”
lineage (lineage):
Saturday Night Fever → Mean Streets.
Ebert, read aloud, ties the film to Little Italy as Scorsese saw it in Mean Streets: characters with few aims and no way out.
“it reminds him of New York's Little Italy, as Martin Scorsese saw it”
verdict (verdict):
Saturday Night Fever → Chinatown.
Simmons ranks the dance floor takeover among the five most iconic scenes of the 70s next to Chinatown and The Godfather.
“I actually think this is one of the 5 most iconic scenes of the 70s.”
craft (craft):
Saturday Night Fever → The Warriors.
The Barracudas fight should have been better compared with The Warriors and other great 70s fight scenes.
“if you're comparing it to movies like the Warriors and some of the great 70s fight scene movies.”
industry (industry):
Saturday Night Fever → Midnight Run.
Network edits of R-rated films were painful; Midnight Run was the worst with 200 swears to remove.
“Midnight Run's the worst one because Bendet Run has like 200 swears in it”
craft (craft):
Saturday Night Fever → Stevie Wonder.
Scenes were shot to Stevie Wonder and Boz Scaggs, not the Bee Gees; the Bee Gees songs came after.
“It was Stevie Wonder and Boz Skaggs, which was what he was dancing.”
theme (theme):
Saturday Night Fever → Goodfellas.
Italian family dinners recur in mafia movies; Goodfellas has the visit to mother after the body scene.
lineage (lineage):
Saturday Night Fever → Staying Alive.
The sequel; the hosts agree it is a bad one but Simmons is glad it exists and thinks it did not ruin the original.
fun, about
Jay Barrishell:
Daily Beast interview: Jay said he and Jonah didn't get along and found Jonah's compliment scene exhausting, then loved the rough cut.
fun, about
Rihanna:
Slapped Michael Cera for real; Cera asked if he could slap her butt and she said only if she could hit back; multiple takes left him lying down.
“he asked Rihanna if he could actually slap her butt and she said, if I can hit you back.”
fun, about
Alec Baldwin:
On set Baldwin refused to shave his beard, so Bill Pullman was lined up to replace him; he then shaved but stopped talking to the director for the shoot.
“And then won't talk to the director for the rest of the shoot.”
fun, about
David Mamet:
Art Linson's book: in the pitch an executive objected that nobody roots for a rich guy, so Mamet added the affair and the cuckold angle.
fun, about
Bart the Bear:
Bart's filmography: Legends of the Fall, The Great Outdoors, 12 Monkeys, Grizzly Adams, presented at the 1998 Academy Awards.
“He was a presenter at the Academy Awards in 1998”
fun, about
Paul Bettany:
Balcony speech: fear of falling is really fear that you might jump; then the money-left-after-taxes run with 76,520 on hookers.
fun, about
Margin Call:
Casting what-ifs: Irons role first offered to Ben Kingsley, Tim Robbins and Billy Crudup passed, Carla Gugino was to play Demi Moore's part.
“The Jeremy Ions ions world was originally offered too.”
fun, about
Misery:
Goldman wanted the job because of King's foot-chopping scene; George Roy Hill could not direct it, and Reiner and Scheinman softened it to the ankle-breaking hobbling.
“The lapping scene was gone now forever replaced by the ankle breaking scene.”
fun, about
Judd Apatow:
Bill reads the Rudd character as a stand-in for Judd, with Apatow's own wife and kids on screen: 'Judd's really going through something'.
fun, about
Beverly Hills Cop II:
A Premiere magazine piece says the script was rewritten dozens of times, finalized three weeks before production, with a 10-week shoot stretching to 20.
“Cop 2 ate up the energy of 2 executive producers, 2 producers, one director, 6 writers, and various productive production executives of personnel at Paramount.”
fun, about
Brigitte Nielsen:
Most rewatchable scene pick: the jewelry-store robbery with the robber calling out elapsed time and time left.
“If a movie features a scene where there is a robbery and the robber is calling out the amount of time that they've been in there and how much time they have left, probably going to be a rewatchable at some point.”
fun, about
Beverly Hills Cop II:
Murphy's original pitch was a Testarossa and a Beverly Hills gun club; the studio first considered England/Scotland Yard and a TV series, but Murphy refused both.
“Murphy's ideas was that that Folish should have a testeras, Rosa Ferrari, and that there should be something at the Beverly Hills gun club.”
fun, about
Tony Scott:
Scott flew to New Jersey to meet Murphy, shot pool, then Murphy vanished mid-rematch and sent his boys to say Scott was fine with him.
“Scott recalls shooting some pool with Murphy. who won the 1st game, then disappeared in the middle of a rematch.”
fun, about
Eddie Murphy:
Murphy arrived with a huge trailer and an entourage including his Uncle Ray, brother Charlie, cousin Ray Jr., Fruity, and a 21-year-old valet, and was late all the time, then ad-libbed.
“he was late all the time, according to one of the crew.”
fun, about
Beverly Hills Cop II:
Eddie Murphy himself called it the most successful mediocre picture in history, a half-assed rehash that was less spontaneous. Both hosts disagree and say they love it.
“Beverly Hills cop 2 was probably the most successful mediocre picture in history.”
fun, about
Eddie Murphy:
Murphy bought a $65,000 Porsche at lunch when depressed, and fought producers to keep the Ferrari from the movie; the producers' spokesman denied they ever gave him one.
“Eddie may have bought a red Ferrari, but Don and Jerry never gave him one.”
fun, about
Beverly Hills Cop II:
Most rewatchable scene: Axel at the gun club pleading for his daughters Monique and Unique; Simmons calls it a fucking classic.
“I'd like to see my kids, Monique and Unique again, fucking classic.”
fun, about
Beverly Hills Cop II:
Best quote candidate: the Gerald Ford lookalike in the strip club; Simmons says he still doesn't know why it's funny after all these years.
fun, about
Tony Scott:
On the armored-truck city deposit robbery: Scott takes off his shirt, rubs body butter on his arms and does action-sequence curls for three minutes.
“Tony's like, takes off his shirt, rubs his arms with body butter, and just fucking does some curls for us for about 3 minutes.”
fun, about
Beverly Hills Cop II:
Ages the best: the opening song 'Shakedown' by Bob Seger; Simmons wants more theme songs thematically drawn from the movie, like running away from crime in the city.
“We just don't have, we used to do things in this country.”
fun, about
Beverly Hills Cop II:
Ages the best: Producer Craig plays the Faltermeyer opening and Simmons says it makes him want to rob a jewelry store; they plan to end pods with a 45-second Craig song.
fun, about
Hugh Hefner:
First movie ever filmed at the Playboy Mansion; Hefner had said no film, then supposedly found a film reflecting his values. Paul Reiser also reads Playboy Sisters in three scenes.
“Reiser, he's reading Playboy Sisters, 112 pages of Sexy Siblings.”
fun, about
Beverly Hills Cop II:
Casting what-if: Simmons wants Geena Davis in the thin role of Bogomil's daughter Jan, and Ryan wants Lisa Bonet as a strip-club character killed to fuel Axel's revenge, an 11-minute sidetrack.
“It's just 2 phone calls and then she's like, I've solved where this guy's visa came from?”