Reads the dossier and loves Kubrick's behind-the-scenes fights and the Harris partnership. Loves noir, character actors like Timothy Carey and Elisha Cook, and a good gimmick structure. Can't stand puns on a movie's title and is hard on bloated studio epics.
Stances
The Killing is Kubrick's first film he respects
Kubrick's control hardens after the Harris years
Bed of Fear is a worse title than The Killing
Humor: Deadpan riffs and bits about invented writers' rooms and Fox execs, plus affection for the bit that goes one step too far.
In their words
“I love how much this movie comes out of Kubrick's chess life in multiple ways.” (0:09:39)
“Because people hate puns.” (1:06:50)
“I just like imagining whoever the Fox exec was who was like, hey, Frank” (0:15:04)
Admires Kubrick more than he loves the films, though he loves The Shining and counts Eyes Wide Shut as a favorite; has never seen Barry Lyndon or Spartacus. Loves rough, process-visible first films and tactile photography. Skeptical of war films and of overlong thin plots.
Stances
Fear and Desire is not a good movie and should be shorter
The Killing and Killer's Kiss show Kubrick's rapid growth
Mythology around Kubrick is inflated by his silence
Humor: Rapid, profane riffs and movie-trivia bits that spiral into digressions.
In their words
“I've always admired him a lot more than I love his movies.” (0:11:35)
“This movie is interesting because he doesn't, really.” (0:36:52)
Griffin loves Lego Batman as the definitive Batman movie, Lego bricks, and animation limits that are exploited rather than hidden. He admires clever craft decisions (the shoulder-dislocation trick, the flame pieces) and sincere sentiment. He is a sucker for toy lore and trivia. He thinks the IP-cameo mashup is the film's one valid flaw.
Stances
Lego Batman is the best Batman movie, with the most complete understanding of the character
Robin works best as a contrast point, not a dark mirror of Batman
Limits (Lego rules, stop-motion look) produce better art
The Lego Movie is still the pinnacle
Humor: Rapid, pop-literate riffing and trivia dumps, plus running jokes about David's daughter and his Lego desires.
In their words
“I think this is the best Batman movie period.” (0:01:10)
“Lego movie is still the pinnacle for me, though.” (1:38:30)
Griffin runs the screening and knows the film cold, down to Becker's DVD commentary. He loves a film of stunning chaos and star-driven studio excess, and gets a kick out of continuity breakdowns and impossible geography. He pauses constantly to underline plot logic.
Stances
Old Dogs is demented but made by experienced professionals
Becker is a studio-comedy auteur of illogic
Pauses the film to explain what just happened
Humor: Deadpan lawyerly narration of absurd plot points, with the audience reacting.
In their words
“This is the most demented movie ever made.” (0:09:39)
“Now, as I press play again, I want you to take note of, there being zero puppets on stage.” (1:18:04)
Loves the self-aware comedy of the Adam West show and the density of its gags, and recounts comics lore (Robin lineage, Damian Wayne) with relish. Can't stand lazy branding on villains like the Riddler's single question mark. A sucker for gadgets, vehicles and Conan-style shorthand humor.
Stances
The 1966 movie is better written comedy than its camp reputation
Robins and rogues galleries are the weak spots of the film franchise
Humor: Rapid bit-building on villain puns and impressions.
In their words
“By the way, this is a blank check special features. I'm Griffin.” (0:13:50)
“For 5 seconds, I think people thought Crisis on Infinite Earth was gonna tie in the tick universe.” (0:05:04)
Likes Roger Moore Bond and the Apes films as franchise building blocks, and enjoys the structure of the bracket. Not stated much beyond this in the audio. Enthusiastic about doing Psycho.
Stances
Defends Apes as the root of franchise storytelling
Humor: Plays straight man to the Chip Smith bit and riffs on Oscars production.
Newly converted to In the Cut from a 'morbid curiosity' first viewing with David; deeply knows New York geography and nightlife, since he lived on the Lower East Side. Likes Practical Magic and Mark Ruffalo's balanced career, and is skeptical of Unfaithful. (Speaker labels are inferred; the transcript has none.)
Stances
The film is uncomfortable even if most criticisms at the time were stupid
Humor: Riffs on the podcast's own name and contractual obligation, and chases movie-trivia tangents.
In their words
“with morbid curiosity more than anything else, you know?” (0:10:45)
“I lived on 2nd Avenue and 6th Street” (0:44:56)
“I don't understand why people were going David loves it.” (0:13:01)
Went in ready to reappreciate the franchise and loved the first two films (came out of midnight screenings thinking of them as giddy, teenage and emotionally charged). Hates movies where characters refuse to make decisions and the plot stalls for time, and dislikes the permanence/teen-marriage logic of the books. Suckers for a bold swing, such as the last film's big deviation, and for Slade's horror-genre scenes. Attribution is partly inferred from context (baby, steel book, signing off at 2:12) so confidence is moderate.
Stances
Eclipse is lifeless and rudderless after the first two
Slade only seems to like the bad-vampire scenes
Twilight fandom deserves respect against gatekeeping
Humor: Dry riffs and long shaggy-dog trivia, escalating bits like Burger King toys and hand stuff.
In their words
“Here's my take on this movie.” (1:57:03)
“I'm so pro-kissing.” (0:43:06)
“Target canceled my steel book order for the 5th time.” (0:10:57)
Loves Jane Campion, Martin Brest underdog crusades, and franchise chaos like Twilight. Mixed on Terrence Malick relative to peers. Wary of revisiting Her.
Stances
Brest is his favorite uphill cause
Wants to treat bracket decisions fairly
Revisiting Her feels risky
Humor: Self-aware grandstanding bits and absurd matchup-logic riffs.
In their words
“I think it has like an incel quality to it.” (0:29:36)
“I'm half kidding, but actually, I'm not kidding.” (0:25:50)
Loves the franchise's iconography and design and tracks toy merchandise; sucker for actors who commit to weirdness and for Alien-series trivia. Admires Ridley Scott's business sense and finds the CGI creature the least interesting stretch. Cannot stand being distracted by texters in a theater.
Stances
Covenant should have kept the Franco prologue
Scott is a company man who slips interesting things into blockbusters
Actor-swap effects are only impressive when objects pass between the doubles
Loved the first three Alien movies in 7th grade and felt a massive drop-off with Resurrection, but is won over by the practical effects, the wet sets and Sigourney Weaver. A collector who owns every Ripley action figure but one. Cannot stand the generic villain casting and is sentimental about French cinema through his mother.
Stances
Resurrection is fun for the first hour and bogs down when characters stop to talk
Sigourney Weaver rules; Winona Ryder is a bore here
The ending should have stayed with the alien nest instead of heading to Earth
Glad an Earth-set Alien never happened
Humor: Self-deprecating storyteller who spins long tangents and doubles down on bits.
In their words
“It was the thing I looked forward to in 7th grade that I got to watch another alien movie at the end of the week.” (0:04:54)
“I'm now feeling like I might have to go back on.” (0:30:27)
Loves the Alien series enough to have made a weeks-long VHS triple feature of it as a kid, and defends Alien 3. Hates it when studios replace classic logos. A sucker for toy lines, chains, and bits that run on wordplay.
Stances
Alien 3 earns its place in the franchise and is better than its reputation
Bringing Ripley back as a clone is worse than killing Hicks and Newt
Studios should not swap old logos for new ones
Humor: Escalating riffs and puns, with a big appetite for tangents about menu-board details like toys and trivia.
In their words
“I think it totally earns its place within the franchise.” (1:26:00)
“I think the tuba is the funniest of all instruments.” (0:08:31)
Loves Rogue Nation and McQuarrie's practical, analog Cruise films, and takes film history personally. Can't stand Pixels-type junk but is a sucker for odd actors, villain tracksuits and wardrobe jokes.
Stances
Rogue Nation is the best M:I film
Practical stunts and clarity of stakes make the best action
Humor: Stacks absurd bits and running gags such as Luther's hat and the thigh move.
In their words
“I auditioned like 5 times for screen four, including 4 Wes Craven” (2:22:37)
Loves digging through the Blu-ray extras and commentaries for a movie and reporting back. Fond of rom-com construction and the industry backstory of how a film got made. Grew up downtown, and his mother's anti-chain-store politics shaped how he saw this movie as a kid.
Stances
Ephron's films are quietly experimental rather than generic
Fighting chains and protecting small bookstores shaped his view of the film
Actors' craft stories (Kinnear's ending, the Lalo scene) are the heart of the movie
Humor: Self-deprecating, bit-driven; owns his fumbled bits on mic.
In their words
“I fucked up the bit that we were trying to do, which is I am confident in the fact that he lived in England and him being from the Upper West Side surprises me.” (0:25:05)
“my mom's entire life that she was bringing my brother and I into was all about, like, we have to fight like Banana Republic.” (0:22:33)
“Hanks was saying he was pulling his hair out and he couldn't make sense of the Lalo scene” (1:41:52)
Loves the box office game and can recall almost any weekend from release dates; has a childhood devotion to Snow Day, Chris Elliott and Vin Diesel. Researches the filmography (Keaton's directing career, IMDb trivia) and likes the idea of a movie being a family or sibling reference point. Hates cable-edited versions of films on streaming sites.
Stances
Hanging Up does not cohere; each actress seems to be in a different movie
The last 20 minutes with the sisters together is where the juice is
Mourns the loss of varied theatrical box office weekends
Cable-edited streaming versions are unacceptable
Humor: Mock-obsessive precision about trivia (taglines, grosses, release weekends) delivered with self-deprecation.
In their words
“It is the only thing that gives me grounding in my life.” (1:31:35)
“Well, now I'm telling you, you motherfuckers should be watching Snow Day.” (1:23:33)
“I still found it not as bad as watching Braveheart on Pluto.” (1:15:18)
“I wish this had been the entire movie.” (0:27:31)
He is ready to submit to a silly pop-up and treat the staff with respect, and he reads the movie's plot and cast aloud with relish. He plays along with the Quibi bit and loves a long gag.
Stances
Staff of the experience deserve credit
The film is less palatable than the experience
Humor: He builds long deadpan bits, such as the Downton Abbey cast working the Trolls pop-up.
In their words
“Let me go step by step, okay?” (0:12:32)
“Now, we, of course, did this in the correct order because” (0:08:43)
Loves puppetry and practical creature design (Jabba, Yoda, the rancor), the speeder chase, and Wicket the Ewok. Dislikes the special-edition CGI additions and the Max Rebo band number, and wants Han and Leia to have real jobs in the third act. A sucker for a gag that gets dragged across the whole commentary.
Stances
Jabba's palace is the favorite stretch of any Star Wars film
Han and Leia are sidelined after the Ewoks arrive
Lucas's special-edition changes are weak and goofy
He is hosting a final Star Wars farewell to the Big Nice room
Humor: Escalating callback bits and absurd impressions, undercutting his own sentimental turns.
In their words
“I just, I fucking love puppetry, David.” (0:46:55)
“This my least favorite thing that he did.” (0:15:45)
Loves chaos picks and big swings (Judi Dench in Cats, Rebecca Ferguson in Doctor Sleep), cats and Pain and Glory are tangled up in his head, and he champions Portrait/Parasite/Us. Skeptical of Toy Story 4 going in. A sucker for movie-star arrival performances and the Fast & Furious franchise.
Stances
Cats is a real favorite, 'A slash F'
Removed Farewell and Her Smell from his own consideration because of friendships
Best original/adapted screenplay should include genre swings like Glass
Humor: Self-deprecating, riffs on running bits (Forky, nicknames like Florence Candice LeBron Bergen Pugh) and escalating panic over the F9 trailer.
In their words
“Best comedic performance of 2019, Little Women.” (0:12:56)
“I'm genuinely having a panic attack waiting for this trailer, so I'm ending this episode right now.” (1:41:14)
Loves Endgame, can be talked around on Infinity War after a rewatch, adores comics history (Kirby, Fourth World), fan-casting games and Marvel trivia. Can't stand corporate killing-off-characters-as-meaning,, and actors' craft. A sucker for the Avengers theme and big crowd-pleasing hero moments.
Stances
Infinity War frustrated him in theaters but he came around after Endgame
Wants characters' deaths to carry real emotional follow-through
Joaquin Phoenix and Cumberbatch contrast shows how green screen needs trained actors
Doctor Strange has the worst jokes in Marvel
Humor: Rapid-fire riffing and bits, and self-aware pop-culture asides.
In their words
“I love Endgame.” (0:27:58)
“I was perfectly wrong.” (2:28:18)
Their shows' recurring bits
Running bits, not opinions; a critic read aloud is cited, not present.
The Big Picture
Drafts: Hosts and guests draft films in rounds; every pick is a recommendation with an argument.
Hall of Fame: A star's or director's best, ranked and argued.
Countdowns: Ranked lists, top five or top ten.
Blank Check with Griffin & David
The box office game: Guessing the film's opening weekend and what it was up against.
The sung theme: "Blank Check with Griffin and David", sung; the transcriber garbles it.
Their claims
Showing 301–400 of 1,162 claims.
people (frequent director):
Diablo Cody → Jason Reitman.
Reitman has directed half of Cody's movies.
“Half her movies have been directed by Jason Reitman, who, uh, I, you know, will happily do on this podcast in the year 3000.”
lineage (origin-story parallel):
Jason Reitman → Darren Aronofsky.
Reitman's image-first story for Afterlife recalls Aronofsky's story of typing the title mother and the exclamation mark.
“that reminds me of the Darren Aronovsky story about writing the title for mother”
unmapped (joke equivalence):
Pixels → Ricki and the Flash.
A joke that Pixels was Adam Sandler coming back to a recovering suicidal daughter, i.e. Ricki.
“Became Adam Sandler coming back to a suicidal daughter's like recovery period.”
lineage (adaptation):
Toxic Crusaders → The Toxic Avenger.
A kid-friendly cartoon was spun off a transgressive Troma film, and a revival died because the contracts could not be found.
“Toxic Crusaders, which was the weird Saturday morning version of Toxic Avenger, uh, a movie that is super transgressive and the least child friendly thing in the world.”
unmapped (legal anecdote):
Donkey Kong → King Kong.
Nintendo escaped a Universal suit because nobody had registered King Kong, and Nintendo got the Donkey Kong trademark first.
theme (premise comparison):
Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind → Starship Troopers.
Early in the film it reads as Miyazaki's people-versus-bugs movie, but its ending flips the Starship Troopers propaganda by having the heroine empathize with the bugs.
unmapped (cause of policy):
Warriors of the Wind → Hayao Miyazaki.
The butchered US version led Miyazaki to refuse any change to later American releases.
“this was so stupid that, uh, that's sort of, I think, the beginning of Miyazaki being like, I approve any, uh, American version.”
industry (creator vs studio):
Princess Mononoke → Taxi Driver.
The no-cuts sword story is paired with Scorsese's story of nearly holding Columbia hostage over a recut of Taxi Driver.
“Scorsese has that story about the night that he almost had a mental breakdown when Columbia wanted to recut taxi driver”
contrast (ethical contrast):
Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind → The Lion King.
Nausicaä values insects as alive, whereas the photoreal Lion King has Timon and Pumbaa eating bugs that visibly flee in fear.
“Whereas Nausaka is like the one person who's like, no, they're like alive.”
contrast (tone contrast):
John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum → Thor.
Gun fetishism in Thor's ending bothers Griffin, but John Wick's cartoonish violence does not.
“Gun fetishy stuff, I just get really uncomfortable, right?”
career (career comeback):
Keanu Reeves → John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum.
Griffin argues the film is a masterpiece of survival that mirrors Keanu's own loss and repeated comebacks.
“it's maybe the best work of Keanu's entire career.”
unmapped (expectations):
Planet of the Apes → Toy Story 2.
Griffin was as excited for Apes as for Toy Story 2, which exceeded his expectations while Apes crushed them.
“And the only other movie I was ever this excited for was Toy Story 2, which became my favorite movie of all time.”
unmapped (Burton romance):
Lisa Marie → Helena Bonham Carter.
Burton met Helena Bonham Carter on Apes, and Lisa Marie, who appears in the film and has her last Burton role, was the Burton partner Griffin was invested in; paparazzi caught him with Bonham Carter in Paris.
theme (personal trilogy):
Tim Burton → Ed Wood.
One commenter argued Ed Wood, Edward Scissorhands and Batman Returns say everything Burton has to say; after that he took what was offered.
“Ed Wood, Edward Scissorhands, and Batman Returns, or like this perfect triptych of everything that guy sort of has to say in his heart”
theme (ending parallel):
Planet of the Apes → Planet of the Apes.
Alex Ross Perry texted that the original book ends in a way very similar to the 2001 film.
“the original book ends in a way that's very similar to this.”
programming (programming):
As Good as It Gets → Tomorrow Never Dies.
It opened at number three on Dec. 26, 1997 behind Titanic and Tomorrow Never Dies.
craft (craft):
David Chase → The Sopranos.
Chase insisted on casting real guys with real mob history, which made production tell actors with arrest warrants not to show up.
“David Chase was like so into like getting these real guys who had the real history.”
industry (industry):
Flesh and Blood → The Lost World: Jurassic Park.
Flesh+Blood is a tweener or bridge between two phases of the director's career, as Lost World was for Spielberg.
lineage (lineage):
Paul Verhoeven → Hieronymus Bosch.
Verhoeven says a Bosch painting with a man defecating in the background formed his artistic ideal.
industry (industry):
Flesh and Blood → Orion Pictures.
Orion financed most of the film and demanded a female character, cutting the rape scene; it kept Verhoeven afterward for RoboCop.
industry (industry):
Flesh and Blood → Piranha II: The Spawning.
Verhoeven's 80s patchwork-financed film is seen as like a director testing before gaining control in Hollywood.
“I wasn't sure if this was going to feel like a piranha 2 where it's like a guy testing it out before he figures out how to gain control in Hollywood.”
people (people):
Rutger Hauer → Paul Verhoeven.
Hauer and Verhoeven fought on Flesh+Blood because Hauer wanted to play a hero after Blade Runner and they never worked together again.
“Howard was so pissed off that Verhoeven wouldn't let him be like a fucking matinee idol hero because he was afraid of being typecast after Blade Runner”
career (career):
Flesh and Blood → RoboCop.
Flesh+Blood is the failure that led Verhoeven to Hollywood and RoboCop, where he built entertainment around his interests.
“from this film on, he figures out how to take everything he's interested in and put it into the body of a conventionally entertaining Hollywood movie”
contrast (contrast):
Paul Verhoeven → Bill Hader.
Verhoeven is like Bill Hader, not Rich Little: he learned American blockbuster craft to smuggle in his own content.
“If I can learn their language, then I can smuggle all the things I actually want to say into these conventional looking movies.”
craft (structural echo):
Lady in the Water → The Village.
The cast-intro structure, where each character gets one cartoonish trait up front, works like The Village, except The Village is involving.
“sort of in the same way that the village works, except the village is involving.”
“We talked about there was a phenomenon that would occur in that movie in those movies where like a stretch of dialogue is so much fucking nonsense information.”
theme (plot comparison):
Lady in the Water → The Lorax.
A creature living in a tree stump who kicks herself in the behind and flies to the sky is likened to the Lorax.
contrast (worldbuilding contrast):
Lady in the Water → Harry Potter (the films).
Proposes the invented terms would be easier if the story were a known fable, since J.K. Rowling's invented vocabulary was learned by audiences.
“Like, he was just like, oh, J.K. Rowling did it.”
unmapped (answering critics):
M. Night Shyamalan → The Village.
A scene where a character is outraged that the critic presumed to know his motives is read as Shyamalan reacting to critics of The Village.
“this is M. Night Shyaman being like, don't tell me what my motivations were for making the village.”
verdict (verdict):
Christopher Doyle → Lady in the Water.
After calling the party scene illegible and boggling to follow, the speaker jokes that the cinematographer's own habits explain why the film is hard to follow.
“But in his defense, the reason's so hard to follow is because Christopher Doyle was having sex with a black woman and being arrested while they were.”
theme (ending comparison):
Lady in the Water → Signs.
Both end abruptly on one image after someone heals a body through prayer or love, with only a token time jump.
“Because signs does the same thing where it just ends.”
theme (recurring theme):
Lady in the Water → Signs.
Shyamalan films all center on men who neglect family for work and on crises of faith; here the man loses his family entirely.
“all in my trauma films are crisis of faith movies, right?”
people (falling out):
M. Night Shyamalan → Nina Jacobson.
Shyamalan left Disney reportedly because Jacobson did not read the script immediately and then did not like it.
“Disney's president of development, Nina Jacobson, took her son to a party instead of staying home to read the script for lady in the water.”
unmapped (film about filmmaking):
Lady in the Water → Inception.
Griffin reads Lady in the Water as Shyamalan's Inception, with the crew roles standing for the collaborative filmmaking process.
“I think he confirmed it, that Inception was Christopher Nolan's film about filmmaking.”
people (director-style):
Chaplin → Richard Attenborough.
Chaplin is called a bland, mediocre Attenborough-style biopic despite Downey's physical performance.
“Yeah, I mean, it's Richard Attenburg kind of, yeah. It's super bland.”
unmapped (backing):
Mel Gibson → Robert Downey Jr..
After Air America together, Gibson put up the insurance bond so Downey could be hired when no one else would insure him.
“Mel Gibson puts up the insurance bond because he believes this guy needs a chance, but the movie doesn't do very well.”
career (career-turning-point):
Gothika → Robert Downey Jr..
Gothika, though a bad film, was his first big-studio return on the straight and narrow, and led to Susan.
people (producer):
Joel Silver → Kiss Kiss Bang Bang.
Silver produced Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, written by his Lethal Weapon writer Shane Black, which became Downey's leading-man calling card.
“which was produced by Joel Silver, one of by Shane Black, who wrote some of Joel Silver's biggest hits.”
unmapped (salary-dispute):
Terrence Howard → Iron Man 2.
Howard earned triple Downey on the first film, and the raise-for-Downey dispute explains the recast.
“He gets paid less than any other actor in the film. Terrence Howard got 3 times as much as him.”
people (producer):
Sherlock Holmes → Susan Downey.
The Silver Company and Downey's wife built Sherlock Holmes as a franchise for him once he was a proven box-office star.
“The Silver Company and his wife, they said, now that you're a proven box office start, Let's make a franchise for you where we can benefit from it.”
people (director-experiment):
Due Date → Todd Phillips.
Phillips, fresh off The Hangover, wanted to test how far he could push Downey's prickliness and still be liked.
“I want to try to experiment with how far I can push Danny Jr. in a film and still have audiences like him.”
people (writer-link):
David Dobkin → Gran Torino.
Dobkin had the idea from his father's elder years and pitched it to the writer of Gran Torino, who wrote it.
“picture basically to the writer of Grand Torino.”
contrast (awards-contrast):
The Judge → The King's Speech.
King's Speech and A Beautiful Mind are the nearest recent mannered Oscar winners, but they are British or biopic.
“But that's the British Tony thing. You know? And Beautiful Mind is like biopic.”
people (great-performance):
Robert Duvall → The Godfather.
Duvall's restrained Tom Hagen is held up as proof Oscars do not simply nominate him for everything.
“Oh, Tom Hagen is one of my favorite characters ever.”
lineage (homage):
The Judge → Man of Steel.
The tornado father-son fight echoes the father-son tornado scene in Man of Steel, another Warner Bros. film.
“an homage to everyone's favorite father son scene from Man of Steel.”
people (suggested-collaboration):
Robert Downey Jr. → Paul Thomas Anderson.
To get an Oscar he needs a director who will push him out of his zone, such as PTA or Sam Raimi, not Dobkin.
“But someone like Paul Thomas Anderson. You know who's not going to let him close.”
“so much of He-Man and the 80s for toys is a response to every major company passing on Star Wars that Star Wars is the whiff that no one can live down.”
fun, about
Bob Fosse:
Fosse died in Verdon's arms at an intersection in Washington DC during a Sweet Charity revival; friends dined on his tab per his will; a producer's last message from Bobby was about a script.
“All his friends go out to dinner on his tab, which was specified in his will.”
fun, about
Box office week:
Nov 1983 chart: Big Chill, Never Say Never Again, Richard Pryor Here and Now, Deal of the Century (dropped from #1), All the Right Moves; Return of the Jedi at 18.
“Number 5 of the box office is an early film from a big star.”
fun, about
Cabaret:
Cabaret beat The Godfather for best director; to Julie it keeps getting more relevant, with the distorted Nazis in the brass at the end.
fun, about
Kubrick miniseries:
Next is Kubrick, starting with Fear and Desire and Killer's Kiss in one episode; Julie asks them to think of Star 80 when discussing Clockwork Orange.
“But yeah, 1st our 1st cubric episode is killer kiss and fear and desire.”
fun, about
An Angel at My Table:
Griffin's best-line story: the film has no quotes page, so he scrubbed to the scene for the line about longing to be as full of secrets as she seemed to be.
“I long to be as full of secrets as she seemed to be”
fun, about
The Last Emperor:
Campion's fear of attachment: she loved the middle kid in The Last Emperor and was mad when he grew up, so she timed Angel's actor switches for happy moments.
“I was basically afraid like, oh, you're gonna love one of them and you're gonna, you know, miss them when they're gone.”
fun, about
Moonlight:
Griffin admits he was so Moonlight-pilled he assumed Kerry Fox would be the entire third part, and only 30 minutes into part two realized she had arrived.
“I was so like moonlight pilled watching this movie”
fun, about
An Angel at My Table:
The photograph sequence: a sister missing from the photo, her death, then the photo restored with an arm added; Janet watches and listens, a writer in the making.
“the photographer did this weird thing where he cut her out of this photo and made her her own photo and then added her arm there.”
fun, about
Jane Campion:
Campion on New Zealand: the first European painters' pictures were thought exaggerated because of the clear air and black shadows.
fun, about
An Angel at My Table:
Fancy free, said by a boarding-house man warning her about men, becomes Griffin's life-changing discovery and a debate about whether it means single.
fun, about
Starman marketing:
Studio feared the John Carpenter's name would mislabel it as horror; market research said it just read as a stamp of quality, the most validating thing Carpenter heard to that point.
fun, about
Starman development:
Directors who passed or left: Badham, Adrian Lyne, Tony Scott, Mark Rydell, Peter Hyams; everyone who turned it down made a hit.
fun, about
Michael Douglas / Starman:
Douglas developed Starman as his own star vehicle; they all agree he would have been a disaster in the alien role, a cad and slimeball.
“Michael Douglas was the one who originally developed this movie because he wants a star in it and that would have been a disaster.”
fun, about
Baz Luhrmann:
Griffin saw Luhrmann in Forbidden Planet buying a Wonder Woman umbrella, looking at comics 'like he was Starman, tilting his entire head'.
“And he walked around the store for like 20 minutes looking at comic books like he was Starman”
fun, about
Karen Allen:
Allen turned down the offer at first: a human actor playing an alien, no chemistry for 75 percent of the film; they talked her in.
“pointedly has to spend 75% of the running time having no chemistry with the only person she shares scenes with.”
fun, about
Starman casting:
Kevin Bacon (Carpenter's Christine pick who took Footloose) nearly played Starman; Tom Cruise was courted too but did Legend.
“Carpenter wanted him for Christine and he chose Footloose instead.”
fun, about
Starman transformation:
The baby-to-man transformation by Winston, Baker and Smith; Bridges claimed it would be one unbroken shot; they cut to her reactions.
“You watch a baby turn into like an adult me and it's all in one unbroken shot.”
fun, about
Starman cinematography:
Not shot by Dean Cundy: Carpenter quote says they had a parting of the ways and would need to clear up attitude problems before working again.
fun, about
Starman scene to see:
Diner scene: she orders deviled egg sandwich and pie; he asks why you can't eat the pie first and she says 'I don't know. That's just the way things.'
fun, about
Hank the Cow Dog:
Jeff Nichols is making a scripted children's podcast starring Matthew McConaughey as Hank the Cow Dog; Griffin reads the cast list.
“5 episodes of the scripted children's podcast, Hank the Cow Dog”
fun, about
Eastwood and Reynolds:
Studio exec shredded both in a meeting; Reynolds grinned: 'I can learn how to act. What are you going to do with that Adam's apple?'
“Every else was like, yeah, but I can learn how to act.”
fun, about
Jason Reitman / Ghostbusters: Afterlife:
The hosts recount Reitman's origin story for Afterlife (a girl in a cornfield with a proton pack) and mock it.
“And then one day I was suddenly just struck with this image of a little girl standing in the middle of a cornfield wearing a proton pack”
fun, about
Britney Spears:
Britney's 'Toxic' is declared the objective best Britney song, and David burned a CD with it on twenty times; they pitch a Nausicaä remix with spores.
fun, about
Toxic Crusaders:
An intern at Troma pitched a Toxic Crusaders cartoon revival to Adult Swim; after six months in filing cabinets he found cels and audio tracks but never the contracts.
“I could never find the contracts to be able to do it.”
fun, about
Donkey Kong:
Nintendo almost got sued by Universal over Donkey Kong; someone checked and found nobody had registered King Kong, so Nintendo got the Donkey Kong trademark first.
fun, about
Nausicaä cutout bugs:
For most of the film the big bugs are cutout animation: four pieces of paper compressed like an accordion, essentially two-dimensional stop motion, which gives them an alien look.
“the big bugs are like 4 different pieces of paper that they compress and expand like an accordion.”
fun, about
Nausicaä production:
Animators on Nausicaä were paid per frame, so the film is full of cheats like cutout animation for the big bugs and layered cels where only a hand moves, and Griffin loves seeing the seams.
fun, about
Nausicaä plot confusion:
Both hosts confess the three-faction setup (Valley, Tolmekians, Pejite) is hard to follow; one watched it over four or five hours with breaks and regretted not using the dub.
“I feel like I spent 4 or 5 hours watching this movie because I kept on taking breaks to try to like reorient myself.”
fun, about
Nausicaä's dub:
The Disney dub is a time capsule: Alison Lohman, Patrick Stewart, Shia LaBeouf just before Transformers; Griffin cannot stop hearing Picard under Yupa.
fun, about
Sundance 2019:
Griffin leaned over to his seatmate after The Farewell premiere and called it incredible, which he says he never does at festivals, then started crying hours later thinking about the final shot.
fun, about
Toy Story 4:
The moment that nearly makes Griffin cry is the opening, with the toys huddled in a box under a car in the rain, selling how small and powerless they are.
“The moment that makes me come closest to crying in Toy Story 4 is the opening.”
fun, about
Princess Mononoke / Toshio Suzuki:
When Weinstein wanted cuts, Suzuki mailed him a katana with a note reading 'no cuts'; the hosts treat it as the most badass thing they have heard.
“He mailed him a massive, incredibly sharp and dangerous samurai sword with a note that just said, no cuts.”
fun, about
Mary Poppins Returns:
Griffin says Rob Marshall is a great choreographer who undermines it by cutting away from the lamplighter dance number, while Meryl Streep says yes to anything he asks.
fun, about
Nausicaä's ending:
Miyazaki told an interviewer he did not want Nausicaä to look like a religious figure but saw the last shot read as a religious painting; catharsis was something he never wanted to do again.
“I didn't intend her to make her Joan of Arc. And I want to get rid of any religious undertone.”
fun, about
The Lion King:
Griffin finds the photorealism makes Timon and Pumbaa eating bugs feel cruel since the bugs visibly act scared and have no faces.
“I was like, this movie doesn't understand that this is fucked up now.”
fun, about
Hayao Miyazaki:
A notorious 1984 interview: Miyazaki explains Nausicaä's large chest as there so she can embrace dying people and make them feel secure.
“I think her buzzing needs to be large, so she can embrace all those old men and the women who are in the castle when they're dying.”
fun, about
Keanu Reeves:
Asked by Colbert what happens when we die, Keanu answered that the ones who love us will miss us dearly, then went straight to a John Wick plug.
fun, about
Griffin Newman:
At sleepaway camp he taped newspaper Apes ads to his bunk wall, then learned from counselors the night before his dad signed him out that it was awful.
“Every day I would confiscate the newspapers from the counselors and cut out the ads for Plan of the Apes and tape them to my bunk wall.”
fun, about
Paul Verhoeven:
Seeing a Bosch painting with a man taking a dump in the background made young Verhoeven say that was the art he wanted to make.
“there was a man leaning against a shed taking a shit.”
fun, about
Emmanuel Lubezki:
Griffin spotted three-time Oscar-winning cinematographer Emmanuel Lubezki eating a burger with his parents at Apple Pan in Los Angeles, and calls him Marty rather than Chivo.
“Three time, a historic and historic, three time Academy Award winner for best cinematography, consecutive awards. Emmanuel Labesky.”
fun, about
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest:
Griffin spent a month arguing at an NYU summer program that Pirates 2 made no sense, then realized years later he had slept through 15 minutes of it.
“I realized 2 years later when I saw it on cable that I'd fallen asleep for 15 minutes”
fun, about
Lady in the Water:
Other kids at Griffin's NYU summer program saw it and came back to the cafeteria yelling snarf, snarf, snarf, mocking the film.
“At the cafeteria, they were going snarf, snarf, snarf, snarf.”
fun, about
Lady in the Water:
Shyamalan demanded the set be within 45 minutes of his Pennsylvania home and timed the trip at 43 minutes; the whole apartment complex and pool were built for the film at a Levittown warehouse site.
“Shamalan demanded that the set be within 45 minutes of his Pennsylvania home.”
fun, about
Lady in the Water:
An IMDb trivia fact claims 9 across could not touch 27 down in the crossword Mr. Dury does, since it would need to be 19 letters long.
“It would have to be at least 19 layers long to do so.”
fun, about
Cindy Cheung:
Per trivia, her agent demanded one million dollars for her role while Shyamalan wanted to pay SAG minimum of 65,000; they settled at 100,000.
fun, about
Lady in the Water:
Shyamalan's wish list for supporting roles reportedly included Pacino, De Niro, Gene Wilder, Sidney Poitier, Vince Vaughn, Alec Baldwin and more, all men.
fun, about
Paul Giamatti:
The milk mustache scene: Giamatti rolls on a couch with milk on his beard to seem innocent for the grandmother, and the amount of milk changes between cuts.
“the amount of milk on his mustache changes per every time they cut”
fun, about
Bob Balaban:
Balaban's critic, the next victim, delivers a meta monologue noting that in a movie with no explicit content they will not actually show someone murdered on camera.
“They will not actually let someone be murdered on camera.”
fun, about
The Buried Secret of M. Night Shyamalan:
Griffin had an acting job in the mockumentary that was almost entirely cut out, and cashed a 150 dollar check he was told was SAG minimum.
“That was my 1st acting job that was almost entirely cut out.”
fun, about
The Man Who Heard Voices:
The book on the making of the film records that Shyamalan left Disney when Nina Jacobson took her son to a party instead of reading the script he had couriered to her.
“Shamlon had it personally couriered to her and had insult to injury.”
fun, about
Inception:
Griffin's read: Inception as Nolan's movie about filmmaking, which maps to Lady in the Water, with a team of specialized roles saving a woman named Story.
“This is a movie in which a woman whose name is story is like has to be saved and protected and carried off into the sky by a whole team of people”
fun, about
Robert Downey Jr.:
His first on-screen line in his father's film Pound, at four or five, was a crude one about body hair, which says a lot about the household.
“And his 1st line is, what, you don't think I got hair on my balls?”
fun, about
Ally McBeal:
Downey's fourth-season arrival was hailed as the best television performance ever; he won a Golden Globe, got an Emmy nomination, then was fired for not showing up.
“Yeah, he doesn't show up or whatever, and yeah, they fire him.”
fun, about
Susan Downey:
The legend: on the Gothika set Susan asked Downey why he was not the biggest star in the world, and made it her life's mission to make him one.
fun, about
Iron Man:
A host recalls his father's reaction to Downey being cast as Iron Man: scraping the bottom of the barrel, the movie is a predetermined flop.
“they're really scraping the bottom of the barrel, huh?”
fun, about
Iron Man:
Downey made the least money of any actor on the first film (Terrence Howard got three times as much), then wanted a proportionate raise for the second.
fun, about
Due Date:
Todd Phillips said he made Due Date to see how far he could push Downey's oddness and prickliness before audiences stopped liking him. One host calls the film a secret masterpiece.
fun, about
The Judge:
Three minutes in, a supposedly serious drama opens with Downey peeing on David Krumholtz at a urinal, complete with an insert shot of urine on polished shoes. The hosts treat this as the first sign the director cannot stop being a Dobkin comedy director.
“Minute 3 of the movie, it's a drama. Rardine Jr., an adult male is peeing on another adult male”
fun, about
The Judge (trailer):
The trailer bills Downey, Duvall, Farmiga and D'Onofrio as Academy Award nominees or winners, leaving Billy Bob Thornton the only name with an empty title card.
“There are 5 names and he's the only one who gets nothing. His title card looks so naked.”
fun, about
Dax Shepard:
His Judge character is so afraid of cross-examining in court that he vomits before each appearance, and one host calls him the best character in the film.
“He's a man with such intense stage fight when it comes to performing in chlorate that he vomits extensively every time before.”
fun, about
Robert Duvall:
Duvall is such a classic Duvall that the hosts would rather see a movie of him as a Judge Judy-style town judge, even a reality show.
“I would go show up to watch him, dude. I would watch the reality show.”
fun, about
David Dobkin:
Bar mitzvah analogy: Dobkin plays it solemn like a 13-year-old reading from the Torah to prove he is a man, then slips back into pee jokes at the party.
“It feels like the way that 13 year old boys have to act during their bar mitzvah, during the actual service in the Torah portion where they really have to put on the ears that they are now a man.”
fun, about
The Judge:
The shower scene: Downey hoses a soiled Duvall down with a handheld shower head, and the only shot they can't forget is the stained legs and the drain.
“you just see shit running down his legs down the drain.”
fun, about
The Judge:
The Judge was Griffin's SAG screener and David's last Oscar-year completism watch; a 'Judging the Judge' sequel joke runs through the intro and outro.
fun, about
Oz the Great and Powerful:
Griffin claims Zach Braff is funny in it as a porcelain monkey in a bellhop uniform; David refuses to give him that one.
fun, about
Dick (1999) weekend:
The first weekend of August 1999 was Griffin's favorite box office weekend: Iron Giant, Mystery Men, and Dick all bombed while The Sixth Sense won; Dick opened outside the top ten.
“It is a dick, which opened outside of the top 10.”