Reads the dossier and loves Kubrick's behind-the-scenes fights and the Harris partnership. Loves noir, character actors like Timothy Carey and Elisha Cook, and a good gimmick structure. Can't stand puns on a movie's title and is hard on bloated studio epics.
Stances
The Killing is Kubrick's first film he respects
Kubrick's control hardens after the Harris years
Bed of Fear is a worse title than The Killing
Humor: Deadpan riffs and bits about invented writers' rooms and Fox execs, plus affection for the bit that goes one step too far.
In their words
“I love how much this movie comes out of Kubrick's chess life in multiple ways.” (0:09:39)
“Because people hate puns.” (1:06:50)
“I just like imagining whoever the Fox exec was who was like, hey, Frank” (0:15:04)
Admires Kubrick more than he loves the films, though he loves The Shining and counts Eyes Wide Shut as a favorite; has never seen Barry Lyndon or Spartacus. Loves rough, process-visible first films and tactile photography. Skeptical of war films and of overlong thin plots.
Stances
Fear and Desire is not a good movie and should be shorter
The Killing and Killer's Kiss show Kubrick's rapid growth
Mythology around Kubrick is inflated by his silence
Humor: Rapid, profane riffs and movie-trivia bits that spiral into digressions.
In their words
“I've always admired him a lot more than I love his movies.” (0:11:35)
“This movie is interesting because he doesn't, really.” (0:36:52)
Griffin loves Lego Batman as the definitive Batman movie, Lego bricks, and animation limits that are exploited rather than hidden. He admires clever craft decisions (the shoulder-dislocation trick, the flame pieces) and sincere sentiment. He is a sucker for toy lore and trivia. He thinks the IP-cameo mashup is the film's one valid flaw.
Stances
Lego Batman is the best Batman movie, with the most complete understanding of the character
Robin works best as a contrast point, not a dark mirror of Batman
Limits (Lego rules, stop-motion look) produce better art
The Lego Movie is still the pinnacle
Humor: Rapid, pop-literate riffing and trivia dumps, plus running jokes about David's daughter and his Lego desires.
In their words
“I think this is the best Batman movie period.” (0:01:10)
“Lego movie is still the pinnacle for me, though.” (1:38:30)
Griffin runs the screening and knows the film cold, down to Becker's DVD commentary. He loves a film of stunning chaos and star-driven studio excess, and gets a kick out of continuity breakdowns and impossible geography. He pauses constantly to underline plot logic.
Stances
Old Dogs is demented but made by experienced professionals
Becker is a studio-comedy auteur of illogic
Pauses the film to explain what just happened
Humor: Deadpan lawyerly narration of absurd plot points, with the audience reacting.
In their words
“This is the most demented movie ever made.” (0:09:39)
“Now, as I press play again, I want you to take note of, there being zero puppets on stage.” (1:18:04)
Loves the self-aware comedy of the Adam West show and the density of its gags, and recounts comics lore (Robin lineage, Damian Wayne) with relish. Can't stand lazy branding on villains like the Riddler's single question mark. A sucker for gadgets, vehicles and Conan-style shorthand humor.
Stances
The 1966 movie is better written comedy than its camp reputation
Robins and rogues galleries are the weak spots of the film franchise
Humor: Rapid bit-building on villain puns and impressions.
In their words
“By the way, this is a blank check special features. I'm Griffin.” (0:13:50)
“For 5 seconds, I think people thought Crisis on Infinite Earth was gonna tie in the tick universe.” (0:05:04)
Likes Roger Moore Bond and the Apes films as franchise building blocks, and enjoys the structure of the bracket. Not stated much beyond this in the audio. Enthusiastic about doing Psycho.
Stances
Defends Apes as the root of franchise storytelling
Humor: Plays straight man to the Chip Smith bit and riffs on Oscars production.
Newly converted to In the Cut from a 'morbid curiosity' first viewing with David; deeply knows New York geography and nightlife, since he lived on the Lower East Side. Likes Practical Magic and Mark Ruffalo's balanced career, and is skeptical of Unfaithful. (Speaker labels are inferred; the transcript has none.)
Stances
The film is uncomfortable even if most criticisms at the time were stupid
Humor: Riffs on the podcast's own name and contractual obligation, and chases movie-trivia tangents.
In their words
“with morbid curiosity more than anything else, you know?” (0:10:45)
“I lived on 2nd Avenue and 6th Street” (0:44:56)
“I don't understand why people were going David loves it.” (0:13:01)
Went in ready to reappreciate the franchise and loved the first two films (came out of midnight screenings thinking of them as giddy, teenage and emotionally charged). Hates movies where characters refuse to make decisions and the plot stalls for time, and dislikes the permanence/teen-marriage logic of the books. Suckers for a bold swing, such as the last film's big deviation, and for Slade's horror-genre scenes. Attribution is partly inferred from context (baby, steel book, signing off at 2:12) so confidence is moderate.
Stances
Eclipse is lifeless and rudderless after the first two
Slade only seems to like the bad-vampire scenes
Twilight fandom deserves respect against gatekeeping
Humor: Dry riffs and long shaggy-dog trivia, escalating bits like Burger King toys and hand stuff.
In their words
“Here's my take on this movie.” (1:57:03)
“I'm so pro-kissing.” (0:43:06)
“Target canceled my steel book order for the 5th time.” (0:10:57)
Loves Jane Campion, Martin Brest underdog crusades, and franchise chaos like Twilight. Mixed on Terrence Malick relative to peers. Wary of revisiting Her.
Stances
Brest is his favorite uphill cause
Wants to treat bracket decisions fairly
Revisiting Her feels risky
Humor: Self-aware grandstanding bits and absurd matchup-logic riffs.
In their words
“I think it has like an incel quality to it.” (0:29:36)
“I'm half kidding, but actually, I'm not kidding.” (0:25:50)
Loves the franchise's iconography and design and tracks toy merchandise; sucker for actors who commit to weirdness and for Alien-series trivia. Admires Ridley Scott's business sense and finds the CGI creature the least interesting stretch. Cannot stand being distracted by texters in a theater.
Stances
Covenant should have kept the Franco prologue
Scott is a company man who slips interesting things into blockbusters
Actor-swap effects are only impressive when objects pass between the doubles
Loved the first three Alien movies in 7th grade and felt a massive drop-off with Resurrection, but is won over by the practical effects, the wet sets and Sigourney Weaver. A collector who owns every Ripley action figure but one. Cannot stand the generic villain casting and is sentimental about French cinema through his mother.
Stances
Resurrection is fun for the first hour and bogs down when characters stop to talk
Sigourney Weaver rules; Winona Ryder is a bore here
The ending should have stayed with the alien nest instead of heading to Earth
Glad an Earth-set Alien never happened
Humor: Self-deprecating storyteller who spins long tangents and doubles down on bits.
In their words
“It was the thing I looked forward to in 7th grade that I got to watch another alien movie at the end of the week.” (0:04:54)
“I'm now feeling like I might have to go back on.” (0:30:27)
Loves the Alien series enough to have made a weeks-long VHS triple feature of it as a kid, and defends Alien 3. Hates it when studios replace classic logos. A sucker for toy lines, chains, and bits that run on wordplay.
Stances
Alien 3 earns its place in the franchise and is better than its reputation
Bringing Ripley back as a clone is worse than killing Hicks and Newt
Studios should not swap old logos for new ones
Humor: Escalating riffs and puns, with a big appetite for tangents about menu-board details like toys and trivia.
In their words
“I think it totally earns its place within the franchise.” (1:26:00)
“I think the tuba is the funniest of all instruments.” (0:08:31)
Loves Rogue Nation and McQuarrie's practical, analog Cruise films, and takes film history personally. Can't stand Pixels-type junk but is a sucker for odd actors, villain tracksuits and wardrobe jokes.
Stances
Rogue Nation is the best M:I film
Practical stunts and clarity of stakes make the best action
Humor: Stacks absurd bits and running gags such as Luther's hat and the thigh move.
In their words
“I auditioned like 5 times for screen four, including 4 Wes Craven” (2:22:37)
Loves digging through the Blu-ray extras and commentaries for a movie and reporting back. Fond of rom-com construction and the industry backstory of how a film got made. Grew up downtown, and his mother's anti-chain-store politics shaped how he saw this movie as a kid.
Stances
Ephron's films are quietly experimental rather than generic
Fighting chains and protecting small bookstores shaped his view of the film
Actors' craft stories (Kinnear's ending, the Lalo scene) are the heart of the movie
Humor: Self-deprecating, bit-driven; owns his fumbled bits on mic.
In their words
“I fucked up the bit that we were trying to do, which is I am confident in the fact that he lived in England and him being from the Upper West Side surprises me.” (0:25:05)
“my mom's entire life that she was bringing my brother and I into was all about, like, we have to fight like Banana Republic.” (0:22:33)
“Hanks was saying he was pulling his hair out and he couldn't make sense of the Lalo scene” (1:41:52)
Loves the box office game and can recall almost any weekend from release dates; has a childhood devotion to Snow Day, Chris Elliott and Vin Diesel. Researches the filmography (Keaton's directing career, IMDb trivia) and likes the idea of a movie being a family or sibling reference point. Hates cable-edited versions of films on streaming sites.
Stances
Hanging Up does not cohere; each actress seems to be in a different movie
The last 20 minutes with the sisters together is where the juice is
Mourns the loss of varied theatrical box office weekends
Cable-edited streaming versions are unacceptable
Humor: Mock-obsessive precision about trivia (taglines, grosses, release weekends) delivered with self-deprecation.
In their words
“It is the only thing that gives me grounding in my life.” (1:31:35)
“Well, now I'm telling you, you motherfuckers should be watching Snow Day.” (1:23:33)
“I still found it not as bad as watching Braveheart on Pluto.” (1:15:18)
“I wish this had been the entire movie.” (0:27:31)
He is ready to submit to a silly pop-up and treat the staff with respect, and he reads the movie's plot and cast aloud with relish. He plays along with the Quibi bit and loves a long gag.
Stances
Staff of the experience deserve credit
The film is less palatable than the experience
Humor: He builds long deadpan bits, such as the Downton Abbey cast working the Trolls pop-up.
In their words
“Let me go step by step, okay?” (0:12:32)
“Now, we, of course, did this in the correct order because” (0:08:43)
Loves puppetry and practical creature design (Jabba, Yoda, the rancor), the speeder chase, and Wicket the Ewok. Dislikes the special-edition CGI additions and the Max Rebo band number, and wants Han and Leia to have real jobs in the third act. A sucker for a gag that gets dragged across the whole commentary.
Stances
Jabba's palace is the favorite stretch of any Star Wars film
Han and Leia are sidelined after the Ewoks arrive
Lucas's special-edition changes are weak and goofy
He is hosting a final Star Wars farewell to the Big Nice room
Humor: Escalating callback bits and absurd impressions, undercutting his own sentimental turns.
In their words
“I just, I fucking love puppetry, David.” (0:46:55)
“This my least favorite thing that he did.” (0:15:45)
Loves chaos picks and big swings (Judi Dench in Cats, Rebecca Ferguson in Doctor Sleep), cats and Pain and Glory are tangled up in his head, and he champions Portrait/Parasite/Us. Skeptical of Toy Story 4 going in. A sucker for movie-star arrival performances and the Fast & Furious franchise.
Stances
Cats is a real favorite, 'A slash F'
Removed Farewell and Her Smell from his own consideration because of friendships
Best original/adapted screenplay should include genre swings like Glass
Humor: Self-deprecating, riffs on running bits (Forky, nicknames like Florence Candice LeBron Bergen Pugh) and escalating panic over the F9 trailer.
In their words
“Best comedic performance of 2019, Little Women.” (0:12:56)
“I'm genuinely having a panic attack waiting for this trailer, so I'm ending this episode right now.” (1:41:14)
Loves Endgame, can be talked around on Infinity War after a rewatch, adores comics history (Kirby, Fourth World), fan-casting games and Marvel trivia. Can't stand corporate killing-off-characters-as-meaning,, and actors' craft. A sucker for the Avengers theme and big crowd-pleasing hero moments.
Stances
Infinity War frustrated him in theaters but he came around after Endgame
Wants characters' deaths to carry real emotional follow-through
Joaquin Phoenix and Cumberbatch contrast shows how green screen needs trained actors
Doctor Strange has the worst jokes in Marvel
Humor: Rapid-fire riffing and bits, and self-aware pop-culture asides.
In their words
“I love Endgame.” (0:27:58)
“I was perfectly wrong.” (2:28:18)
Their shows' recurring bits
Running bits, not opinions; a critic read aloud is cited, not present.
The Big Picture
Drafts: Hosts and guests draft films in rounds; every pick is a recommendation with an argument.
Hall of Fame: A star's or director's best, ranked and argued.
Countdowns: Ranked lists, top five or top ten.
Blank Check with Griffin & David
The box office game: Guessing the film's opening weekend and what it was up against.
The sung theme: "Blank Check with Griffin and David", sung; the transcriber garbles it.
Their claims
Showing 701–800 of 1,162 claims.
contrast (contrast):
Paths of Glory → 1917.
The single whistle-blowing sequence in Paths of Glory is more harrowing than all of 1917's unrelenting one-shot.
“the one whistleblowing sequence with Douglas for me is so much more harrowing and tense than anything in 1917”
theme (theme):
Paths of Glory → Born on the Fourth of July.
The appeal that sells young men on war is the first 20 minutes of Born on the 4th of July, before reality.
“the initial appeal of it, you know, the like 1st 20 minutes of born on the 4th of July”
theme (theme):
Paths of Glory → Full Metal Jacket.
Full Metal Jacket shows how systems hype young men up for war before reality hits; Paths of Glory shows the illusion falling apart.
“the thing that I think full Metal Jacket does particularly well, is you sort of understand the way these systems are built to hype these young men up”
programming (programming):
Around the World in 80 Days → Jackie Chan.
Number four was a rereleased Best Picture winner; Griffin has seen only the Jackie Chan version.
“I saw the uh, the Jackie, the Jackie Chan version.”
unmapped (first real film):
Fear and Desire → The Killing.
Kubrick disowned Fear and Desire and treated Killer's Kiss as a warm-up, so The Killing is the first film he respects.
“this is probably the 1st movie, Kubrick respects in his filmography”
lineage (source novel):
The Killer Inside Me → Jim Thompson.
Kubrick had loved Thompson's The Killer Inside Me, which is why he brought him the Clean Break book.
“Kubrick, I guess, had loved um, the killer inside me”
unmapped (set the template):
James B. Harris → Stanley Kubrick.
Harris's hands-off, money-handled arrangement sets the dynamic Kubrick later imposes on every studio.
“creates the dynamic that Kubrick then extends to the studios with every other picture he makes”
lineage (lineage):
The Lego Batman Movie → Grant Morrison.
The film's premise is Morrison's idea that every Batman era is canon, so the goofy and the grim must coexist.
“which is he did his run where he was like, every single thing that Batman's ever done is canon.”
industry (industry):
The Lego Batman Movie → Pixar and modern animation.
Modern family animation forces classic Hollywood storytelling and clean emotion, but this one still gets into weird shit.
“this is the thing I like about Pixar movies and modern animation”
industry (industry):
The Lego Batman Movie → Comedy podcast culture.
The cast leans on the comedy-podcast world (Mantzoukas, Garfunkel and Oats), making it one of the first films in dialogue with it.
“This is also like one of the 1st movies that feels like it's like, in dialogue with how much comedy podcasts have started to define comedy”
craft (craft):
The Lego Batman Movie → The Lego Movie.
Warner wanted redesigned Lego figures; Lord and Miller insisted on honoring the real pieces' movement limits.
“we want to actually limit them to the way the characters could move.”
career (career):
The Lego Batman Movie → Robot Chicken (series).
Director Chris McKay's Robot Chicken background shows in the sketch-like premise, which then gets taken seriously.
lineage (lineage):
The Lego Batman Movie → The Dark Knight.
The Joker's need for Batman to see him as an enemy is read against the post-Dark Knight Joker.
“It's this thing of like, right, especially post Dark Knight, right?”
industry (industry):
The Lego Batman Movie → Universal.
Universal bought the Lego rights but not the Warner-owned characters from the earlier films.
“Universal bought the rights and then immediately realized they didn't own any of the characters established in the previous movies because Warner Brothers owns them.”
career (career):
Michael Cera → Scott Pilgrim vs. the World.
With his post-fame leverage Cera made Scott Pilgrim, Youth in Revolt and Nick and Norah, hand-picking filmmakers and cast.
“I want to make Scott Pilgrim, I want to make you some revolt.”
career (career):
Zach Galifianakis → The Hangover.
The Hangover put Galifianakis in a mode; his passion-project TV show was what he wasn't allowed to do in movies.
“the whole problem with the hangover is it put him in a mode.”
career (career):
Michael Cera → Arrested Development (series).
Cera and Arnett did many scenes together on Arrested Development, and this film pulls that dynamic to extremes.
“they did so many scenes together on Arrested Development.”
industry (industry):
Will Arnett → Arrested Development (series).
New Line was buying spec scripts for Arnett vehicles in Arrested Development's first half-season.
“already New Line was like buying spec scripts to develop for Will Arnett vehicles.”
people (people):
The Lego Batman Movie → The Lego Movie.
Liam Neeson gives one of the all-time great Lego performances in the first movie as Good Cop/Bad Cop.
“Liam Neeson, one of the gives one of the all-time great Lego performances.”
contrast (contrast):
The Lego Batman Movie → The Batman.
Studios worry how to do a serious Robin; this film makes Robin the lighter contrast point instead.
“I think Matt Reeves and Nolan, all these people freak out about like, how do you do the serious version of Robin?”
industry (industry):
The Lego Batman Movie → Wreck-It Ralph.
Wreck-It Ralph began the modern IP-mashup movie, then The Lego Movie and this, then Space Jam-style follow-ons.
“But it's also like Wreck-It Ralph was really the 1st of the modern Ralph, right?”
lineage (lineage):
The Lego Batman Movie → Doctor Who.
A Dalek is an iron-lung garbage can with a plunger arm, and the Lego film's villains riff on such designs.
“But his main villainous called the Dalek, and it's like this sort of like big garbage.”
theme (theme):
The Lego Batman Movie → Jerry Maguire.
Batman's arc ends with him giving the Joker the Jerry Maguire speech, completing the film's running Jerry Maguire joke.
“just like it's so good full circle to fucking have him realize I have to give Joker the Jerry Maguire speech.”
industry (industry):
Franchise filmmaking → Commercials.
Franchise filmmaking has become the world of commercials: taking the job for money or to try the toolbox.
“the franchise filmmaking thing has sort of become like the world of commercials”
verdict (verdict):
Spider-Man: No Way Home → Spider-Man 3.
The movie's internal logic is bananas but audiences accept anything to see three Spider-Men together.
craft (craft):
Sam Raimi → The Hudsucker Proxy.
Raimi's best movies have one deliberate way each scene could be constructed, with no alternate coverage.
“there is only one way this scene could be constructed”
industry (industry):
Old Dogs → The Proposal.
Old Dogs came out the same year as the hit The Proposal, and Disney declined a sequel when the writers pitched one.
“The same year as the proposal, which is a massive hit.”
career (career):
Walt Becker → Van Wilder.
Becker's pre-family-film background is Van Wilder (transcribed Vale Wilder), the basis of a rumor Old Dogs was shot R-rated.
“because that's like Walt Becker's background from Vale Wilder before he became a family movie guy.”
people (people):
Kelly Preston → John Travolta.
Preston, Travolta's real wife, plays Robin Williams' love interest, and Travolta's real daughter plays her daughter.
“Kelly Preston, uh, famously, uh, uh, wife of John Travolta, absolutely.”
fun, about
The Lego Batman Movie:
Robin has not figured out Batman and Bruce Wayne are the same person: Bruce Wayne lives in Batman's attic, and Batman says Bruce told him it's okay to hang out.
“he has to be like, uh, Bruce told me it's okay for you to hang out with me.”
fun, about
The Lego Batman Movie:
Animators keep the Lego limits: arms rotate and swing but never bend, though shoulders may dislocate to cross the chest.
“but they'll let the entire arm sort of like remove from the body and turn inwards.”
fun, about
Lego (company):
Lego ruled the 90s by building its own mythologies each year, with Johnny Thunder as its Indiana Jones hero, before the 1999 Star Wars deal.
“There's Johnny Thunder, who is their attempt to create like an Indiana Jones style hero”
fun, about
The Lego Batman Movie:
A listener built Lego versions of the hosts; the builder, Dave Colletta, became a top contestant on Lego Masters, which Arnett hosts.
“And the guy who built the figures of us became like one of the best contestants on this fucking show.”
fun, about
The Lego Batman Movie:
Phantom Zone includes Sauron as a talking tower, Voldemort turning people to fish, the Wicked Witch, a Gremlin crew, and a Creature from the Black Lagoon.
fun, about
The Lego Batman Movie:
Griffin argues the movie is a flawed pick for David because the IP cameos are shallow; the villains get little screen time.
fun, about
Doctor Who:
Griffin explains a Dalek: it's a garbage can with a plunger because, per him, an arm went missing and a bathroom plunger replaced it.
“they were missing an arm and they took a plunger out of the bathroom.”
fun, about
Old Dogs:
After Justin Long's scout troop shoots a statue's head off, they burn it down and get kicked out.
“After shooting the head off the statue, they stayed there long enough for the sun to go down to light the whole thing on fire, and then they were kicked out.”
fun, about
Griffin Newman:
Griffin's Supergirl bit: Burt Ward and other legends in the opening credits made viewers think Crisis would tie in The Tick.
“For 5 seconds, I think people thought Crisis on Infinite Earth was gonna tie in the tick universe.”
fun, about
Adam West and Frank Gorshin:
The legend that West and Gorshin went to a Hollywood orgy in character and were expelled for doing too many bits.
fun, about
Alien: Covenant:
The Franco footage cooks him alive and Griffin says the 10-second prologue would have made the film's emotional start stronger.
“you kind of really benefit from seeing him for 10 seconds alive, you know?”
fun, about
Danny McBride:
McBride went to film school wanting to write and direct, was cast in friends' films, never auditioned, and said Covenant was what he always wanted to do.
fun, about
The Tick:
Griffin recounts his hardest technical acting scene: Dr. Karamazov shrunk, shot against tennis balls on sticks then redone from his own recorded dialogue.
“the single most challenging thing I've ever had to do as an actor on a technical level is”
fun, about
Alien: Covenant:
Merchandise for the movie showed an earlier, practical-looking xenomorph design before the creature was redone in CGI late in production.
“All of the merchandise for this movie had an incorrect xenomorph design.”
fun, about
Alien Quadrilogy:
The 2003 DVD box set that David calls a word hardly used outside that box; Resurrection got a special edition about seven minutes longer.
“Quadrilogy, a word that has rarely been used outside of that one box.”
fun, about
You've Got Mail:
The fall leaves in the movie are CGI because they shot in the summer, per the commentary track by Ephron and Schuler Donner.
“They're like, all of the fall stuff is CGI, baby.”
fun, about
Dave Chappelle:
Chappelle delivers the odd line 'she has the same coloring as' that was written for an older Eastern European actor in the original.
“if you look up the actor who played the best friend role and shop around the corner, it's like an older Eastern European man with a mustache.”
fun, about
Tom Hanks:
The script supervisor fixed Hanks's block on the Lalo scene: he stays because he is trying to build the courage to say it is him.
“Your motivation, this scene, is you think if you stay longer, you'll finally build the courage to say it.”