Actor-host with a deep interest in how TV pilots evolve and how Michael Mann's style bleeds into everything. Loves Thief best of Mann's work. Jokes about being unhireable and the Netflix job that vanished.
Stances
Thief is his top Mann film
Pilots that feel like complete little movies are best
Defends the guest Dana Stevens against Twitter critics
Humor: Self-deprecating, long bits about his own failed career and his mother's British ancestry.
In their words
“I think you were going to think my rankings are crazy.” (1:07:55)
Loves the original Planet of the Apes franchise and Tim Burton, and was a fan of the 2001 hype as a kid. Can't stand empty studio filmmaking with no point of view. A sucker for childhood fandom and memorabilia (action figures, Lisa Marie).
Stances
Burton's Apes is the first time a beloved director failed him
The makeup is the only thing worth praising
The film does not have a point of view
Humor: Self-deprecating nerd-confessional anecdotes and riffs on childhood devotion.
In their words
“I was like, peak Griff moving nerd fanaticism.” (0:16:56)
“I had all the action figures before the movie came out.” (0:18:01)
Appears to love specific film trivia and the New York of the film; teases about being downtown. Lines identified with him are low-confidence because the transcript has no speaker labels.
Stances
Recalls opening-weekend box office from memory
Lives and grew up near the film's downtown locations (inferred)
Humor: Dry bits and running gags; becomes 'Downtown Griffey Nooms' under the guest's teasing.
In their words
“I have a TV pair of glasses now.” (0:31:40)
“This is the game where I try to recall from memory the box office the weekend the movie open.” (1:57:23)
Blank Check with Griffin & David: Flesh+Blood (host)
Loves Verhoeven and says RoboCop, Toy Story 2 and Rushmore rank among his favorites. Worries about the Weinstein-era toxicity in this film. Fascinated by effects-driven classicism and by the Hauer/Verhoeven split.
Stances
Flesh+Blood is anthropological and fascinating but joyless
Verhoeven is a technical classicist smuggling extreme content into Hollywood form
Rooted for RoboCop being a favorite
Humor: Rambling bits, tangents and character voices.
In their words
“I have never been more excited to talk about a film on this podcast.” (1:38:03)
Seems to love practical Spielberg staging and sound design, character actors with great faces, and nostalgic picks like Harriet the Spy. Cannot stand lazy sequels with no story, CGI overuse and nostalgia-canonized movies. Is a sucker for merchandise history and a good Austin Powers rewatch.
Stances
Lost World has a plot but no story and is bottom five Spielberg
Spielberg fails when he directs with one arm behind his back
Jurassic World is far worse
Humor: Escalating riffs and running bits, including bad impressions, nicknames for the producer and self-deprecating Goldblum failure.
In their words
“I've never been able to get there.” (0:00:55)
“Spielberg, I think, always fails when he tries to direct with one arm behind his back.” (0:32:33)
Loves ambitious, misguided, disastrous failures and admits a near sexual fetish for them; gravitates toward films that are naked and transparent about their director's ego. Cannot stand being unable to follow exposition but still wants to rewatch. A sucker for Shyamalan trivia, mythology worldbuilding critique, and the film-about-filmmaking read.
Stances
Lady in the Water is bad but fascinating and he likes it a lot
Watchability is not linked to quality
The film is Shyamalan's defensive reaction to critics after The Village
Shyamalan films are crisis-of-faith movies about family
Humor: Runs elaborate recurring bits and segments (Burger Report, IMDb trivia corner, rewrite station, comedy points) and self-deprecating panic-attack anecdotes.
In their words
“I admit that I have a near sexual fetish for super ambitious misguided failures.” (1:36:00)
“I like this movie a lot.” (1:35:51)
“And so watchability is a thing that I don't link to quality.” (1:49:31)
An actor and comedian who loves Robert Downey Jr. (Ally McBeal, Bowfinger) and loves cataloguing credits, billing, and who produced what. Can't stand hacky, symbolic drama like The Judge or misjudged comedies like Wedding Crashers and Fred Claus. A sucker for Shanghai Noon, Due Date, and Dax Shepard's character.
Stances
The Judge is treacle with a Dobkin comedy brain stuck in a prestige drama
Downey needs a real director like PTA or Raimi to surprise audiences
Duvall phoning it in beats De Niro or Pacino phoning it in
Humor: Long riffing metaphors (the bar mitzvah, the bagel), bodily-fluid gags, and self-deprecating asides about the show's tiny audience.
In their words
“It feels like the way that 13 year old boys have to act during their bar mitzvah” (0:56:38)
“Overbagled.” (0:28:55)
“Now you're stuck with us talking about the judge.” (0:03:31)
A deep pop-culture archaeologist who loves He-Man (especially Orko), Henson fantasy, Toy Story, Barbie, and the Lego movies, and who voiced Orko himself. He is skeptical of masculine man-defends-his-castle fantasy and of defensive, self-embarrassed jokes. He is a sucker for the Hudsucker Proxy, odd animation like Raggedy Ann & Andy, and word-of-mouth box office oddities.
Stances
The film gets the metatextual framework right but only gets 60% there
Toy movies are mostly bad except those not driven by a product
He-Man himself is his least favorite part of He-Man
Orko was unforgivably withheld
Humor: Nerdy, rapid-fire trivia and self-aware jokes about his own obsessions and merchandise hoarding.
In their words
“I have way too much He-Man merchandise.” (0:37:20)
“He's what a child thinks they would be as a grown up if they got really buff and strong.” (0:31:53)
“It is a movie entirely about the hula hoop.” (1:34:41)
Griffin is a long-time Cameron enthusiast and sincere blockbuster fan, someone who watches trailers on loop and gets choked up by them. He loves a clean engineered story and defends Avatar's sincerity. He dislikes meta, smirky franchise filmmaking.
Stances
Avatar's clunky human dialogue is deliberate
Franchise filmmaking is in a crisis point
Cameron has earned the benefit of the doubt
Humor: Affable and self-deprecating, with long enthusiastic riffs.
In their words
“I'm beyond excited.” (1:41:16)
“I truly get like emotionally choked up watching these trailers” (1:41:52)
A RoboCop devotee with posters, a bust and a bootleg toy in the office, who loves the Verhoeven original and its satire. He can't stand humorless grounded remakes that cut the jokes and the visor. A sucker for baseball giveaways at Mets games and Easter eggs done right.
Stances
The remake is an F and worse than Ouija
Satire and humor are what make the original
A black suit with no detail is a failure
Robocop should be dumb and funny, not cool
Humor: Rants and elaborate analogies, like the pizza series, delivered with escalating mock fury.
In their words
“I'm just gonna come out and say this is an F.” (0:55:03)
“Robocop one is like the best pizza you've ever had.” (1:29:28)
Loves Edge of Tomorrow as a masterpiece and Cruise's turn toward weird, low-status roles; likes Oblivion and Looper-era Blunt; likes Liman's chaos when it works. Can't stand Liman's later films like Road House.
Stances
Edge is a five-star film that improves on repeat
This is Cruise's pivot to the McQuarrie era
Alien design here and in Arrival is rare in the 2010s
Humor: Rapid riffs and movie-industry gossip, often wrapping a joke around a bit of trivia.
In their words
“Edge of tomorrow is 5 stars.” (0:07:20)
“It is truly a movie that gets better every time you watch it.” (0:07:25)
Loves cult comedy and genre curiosities such as Perfect Dark, Nirvana the Band, and weird bracket ideas like Psycho with Bates Motel. Enthusiastic about Peter Weir, Welles, and Del Toro. Dislikes long filmographies as a rule and bad Robocop sequels.
Stances
Wants more Peter Weir and Orson Welles
Votes against the long boy in every matchup
Grudge: RoboCop 2 should never put the mask back on
Humor: Builds committed running bits (pitmaster, Chip Smith) and doubles down until the room breaks.
A Lynch fan who loves Eraserhead as a pure raw expression of an outsider and calls it a fully arrived masterpiece. Loves the bit-work of generating nicknames and sorting debut films into buckets. Can't stand eggs and gets queasy at the chicken-carving idea.
Stances
Eraserhead is a masterpiece debut
It is coherent and autobiographical, not impenetrable
Debut films fall into rough draft, masterpiece and a third bucket
Humor: Escalating riffs and mock-pompous bits about nicknames, with self-aware jabs at the show.
In their words
“And this is him just doing the pure raw expression version of basically the same idea.” (0:26:19)
“Holy shit, who the fuck is this guy fully arrived masterpiece.” (0:16:34)
Runs the show and the episode dossier, and loves production-disaster minutiae, alternate titles and what-if histories. A sucker for 90s studio chaos and podcast in-jokes (jelly trilogy, Forky). Frustrated by a movie that is dark and muddy and has no scary monsters.
Stances
Eaters of the Dead was the better title
The version worth making is a smaller, pulpier one
Defends Mank and is a Fincher-series completist who ranks Zodiac first; loves the autobiographical reading of The Killer (Fincher mocking his own control). A sucker for Tilda Swinton performances and for details like the Smiths playlist. Uncertain about the Soderbergh-style streaming deal.
Stances
The Killer is about filmmaking and Fincher's own process
Fincher's Netflix deal is a bad fit for streaming
Mank is a celebration of a cantankerous artist and a self-portrait
Humor: Absurdist riffs, Letterboxd one-liners, and long tangents about fast food.
In their words
“My letterbox type clip on the movie is a psychological horror film about David Fincher imagining a reality where he's only allowed one take.” (0:22:44)
“It's fucking Sidney Lumette's making movies.” (1:24:53)
Likes the Hearst scenes and the performances, but is less sold on the movie than David and Sean. Comes at it as a wounded theatrical-experience loser, upset he never saw it in a theater.
Stances
Wishes he'd seen it in a theater
Likes the movie less than David
Wants more Fincher Tuppence Middleton
Humor: Self-deprecating, tangent-prone, and loves puns like 'Mancrodosing'.
In their words
“I cannot stop thinking about how angry I am that I never got to see this in a theater.” (0:20:21)
“I'm circling the island.” (2:27:36)
“Mancrodosing. Five minutes of manca day.” (0:22:58)
Carries the Fincher-completist trivia (the unmade projects, the casting what-ifs) and is deep in the Affleck and Reese Witherspoon career talk. Likes a franchise that earns its box office, and says he is all in on the Equalizer films. Can't stand a lazy cable-movie career move, and has lost patience with TV coverage on the show.
Stances
Fincher's unmade projects (Star Wars, 20,000 Leagues) are as interesting as the films
Wants Equalizer 3 to reach $103 million
Mindhunter was an episode he and David did not want to cover, because TV multiplies the work
Humor: Runs dead-pan bits at length (the Quibby and Reese 'Fierce Queens' routine) and keeps count of the numbers.
In their words
“Star Wars, episode seven.” (0:25:36)
“The Equalizer one made $101 million domestically.” (2:53:28)
“Dave and I really didn't want to do this episode.” (3:03:23)
Loves Fincher, comfort rewatches, commentary tracks and the research dossier; admires Rooney Mara and the film's gentleness at the margins. Can't stand the Swedish films' flatness or the Spider's Web reboot. A sucker for a good casting story and a recurring bit.
Stances
Dismisses the Swedish films as mid
calls this a movie that improves on rewatch
defends Fincher's reshoots as worth it.
Humor: Runs bits to exhaustion (string cheese, Clint Eastwood railroading, strangling-each-other energy) and teases Ben.
In their words
“I saw it Christmas time, 2011.” (0:25:28)
“I've been trying to watch most of these movies with commentaries.” (1:10:15)
“I just remember when the trailer for this came out” (0:34:01)
Loves Sorkin's dialogue and Fincher's rigor, and is the host with an actor's view of auditions and sets. Dismissive of Facebook as an experience now. A sucker for behind-the-scenes lore and the Blu-ray extras.
Stances
The script's pace is the movie
Fincher's many takes freed the actors
Humor: Rambling, self-aware riffs and character-voice bits.
In their words
“I pointedly remember that the they sent the script out, but for the auditions, it was just other Sorkin scenes.” (0:52:46)
“So this script hits and like every single person on set is like, I'm just trying to get any fucking part in the sofa work.” (0:51:41)
Became a Fincher believer at Zodiac and was all in for Button on the strength of that and the teaser. Reads Button as a deliberate anti-Gump about death rather than a failed weepy. Likes the film's passivity and its refusal to give catharsis.
Stances
Button is pointedly an anti-Gump
the film is more Fincher than its reputation allows
the hospital framing is the real film
Humor: Rapid-fire impressions and callback bits, including the running seven-but-looks-older line.
In their words
“But I think it's almost like pointedly an anti-gump.” (0:22:50)
“Whatever this guy's next movie is, this is now I'm most anticipated movie.” (0:17:37)
Their shows' recurring bits
Running bits, not opinions; a critic read aloud is cited, not present.
The Big Picture
Drafts: Hosts and guests draft films in rounds; every pick is a recommendation with an argument.
Hall of Fame: A star's or director's best, ranked and argued.
Countdowns: Ranked lists, top five or top ten.
Blank Check with Griffin & David
The box office game: Guessing the film's opening weekend and what it was up against.
The sung theme: "Blank Check with Griffin and David", sung; the transcriber garbles it.
Their claims
Showing 401–500 of 1,162 claims.
contrast (unexplained-setup contrast):
Masters of the Universe → Big.
Big reaches its magic machine in under ten minutes with no backstory, which the movie should have emulated instead of over-explaining.
“And there is no backstory of who made the machine or why or why it's possessed with a ghost or why it works or how to undo it.”
“like, it felt like a very kind of unoriginal list, but I couldn't talk myself into saying like, well, actually, BeastMaster has some really cool effects in it”
theme (borderline-genre):
Ray Harryhausen → The 7th Voyage of Sinbad.
Harryhausen movies blur Greek mythology and high fantasy; one of Sinbad or Jason would represent them.
“I could put the 7th Voyage of Sinbad on a list like this, you know?”
lineage (toy origin):
The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh → A.A. Milne.
Pooh stories are tales adapted from a mythology a boy created for his toys; the film's framing device shows a boy's room of dolls.
“They are tales adapted from The mythology created by kids for their toys.”
unmapped (canon filler):
The Hudsucker Proxy → Toy Story franchise.
To make a good toy-movie canon you have to cheat and include movies not driven by a product: Winnie the Pooh, Toy Story, Hudsucker.
“In order to make a cannon that is good. You have to cheat and put in things like Winnie the Pooh, Toy Story, and the Hudsucker proxy”
verdict (ranking):
Barbie → The Lego Movie.
Of the whole toy-movie canon, only Barbie and The Lego Movie came from a cynical place and ended somewhere fairly pure.
“And then you're like, really, it's only Barbie and Lego movie that came from the cynical place and ended up somewhere fairly pure.”
career (career):
José Padilha → Elite Squad.
Padilha comes from a gritty, stripped-down neo-realist police-force background, so the studio hired him for a serious reboot.
“this is the director who comes from a sort of like gritty kind of, uh, stripped down neo-realist”
programming (programming):
Darren Aronofsky → RoboCop.
Aronofsky was first choice, stayed three years, then left because MGM could not fund the film, the start of his flirtations with franchises.
contrast (contrast):
RoboCop → RoboCop.
In the original, Murphy loses his identity and must rediscover it; here he never does, and the host calls that stupid.
career (career):
Gary Oldman → Batman Begins.
Oldman's Gordon role changed his career after a stretch as a studio villain, and RoboCop asks him to play Gordon again without the mustache.
“He's just kind of Gordon without a mustache being like, Robocop, I'm really trying to help you here.”
contrast (contrast):
RoboCop → RoboCop.
A remake that pushes seriousness and cuts the humor, though the humor is what people remember about the original.
“you're like, huh, because the humor's the stuff that people remember.”
people (people):
José Padilha → Fernando Meirelles.
Meirelles said Padilha told him making RoboCop was the worst experience of his life, with nine of every ten ideas cut.
craft (craft):
RoboCop → RoboCop.
The original's way of showing the conversion was good, but the remake skips the time lapse and wakes him already built.
“the way they did it was really a good way to do it.”
craft (craft):
Legacy Effects → The Tick.
The shop that holds the RoboCop suits also did a lot of the effects work on The Tick, which the speaker knows from working on that show.
“I just know legacy effects who did a lot of stuff on the tick.”
craft (craft):
Legacy Effects → RoboCop.
After the first suit photos went over badly, the production gave Legacy Effects about two weeks to build a second suit closer to the 1987 look, per what the shop told the speaker.
“the production panicked when the 1st photos came out and the response was so bad and we were given like 2 weeks to make a new suit that looked more like the 80s movie”
lineage (lineage):
RoboCop → Batman Begins.
The remake is part of the grounded-and-serious wave that followed Nolan; the speakers say this film marks the end of it.
lineage (lineage):
RoboCop → Casino Royale.
Filmmakers sell the remake as the Casino Royale or Batman Begins of RoboCop while the Easter eggs sneer at the original.
career (career):
RoboCop → Chi-Raq (transcribed 'Shyraq').
Jackson's direct-address monologues here recall Chi-Raq, where he has fun as a meta narrator; here he is muzzled.
“Samuel Jackson has a character who similarly is doing like direct address to the camera monologues, right?”
contrast (contrast):
RoboCop → RoboCop.
Keaton's villain stays the same until a rooftop face-off; the speakers imagine Ronny Cox's version in his place.
“if Michael Keaton is fucking Ronnie Cox, you know. The movie like doesn't have a villain.”
programming (programming):
Resident Evil (film series) → Paul W.S. Anderson.
The next series is the Paul W.S. Anderson-involved Resident Evil films, all six, then Welcome to Raccoon City.
industry (industry):
Edge of Tomorrow → Mr. & Mrs. Smith.
Bourne, Smith and Edge all had the 'is he ever going to finish' chaos, with actors replaced mid-shoot.
“Bourne and Smith and Edge of Tomorrow all had that thing of like, is he ever going to finish this thing?”
career (career):
Edge of Tomorrow → American Made.
Edge is the end of the run where Cruise looks like an aged-well human; by American Made he looks 'nuts'.
contrast (contrast):
Edge of Tomorrow → Cocktail.
Unlike Cocktail or The Color of Money, Cruise's character does not have all the moves; he has to learn them.
contrast (contrast):
Edge of Tomorrow → The Color of Money.
Same point: the earlier Cruise plays the guy who has the moves; Edge has him work for them.
theme (theme):
Edge of Tomorrow → Groundhog Day.
Both are about depression and being stuck; Edge adds the stakes that you keep dying, and it stays hopeful.
“Groundhog Day, I would say is also like about depression.”
contrast (contrast):
Edge of Tomorrow → Groundhog Day.
Groundhog Day hits an inflection point where Bill Murray tries suicide and then just lives through it; Edge is about repeated violent deaths and the hope of advancing.
“Groundhog Day hits the inflection point about halfway through where he's like, let me kill myself.”
people (people):
Christopher McQuarrie → Edge of Tomorrow.
McQuarrie joined halfway through filming, connected the dots, and became the writer on set; he then got Mission Impossible.
“They hire Macquarie like halfway through filming and he immediately looks at what they have and starts like connecting dots and solving problems.”
career (career):
Doug Liman → Chaos Walking.
After Edge, Liman never got another good one; Chaos Walking went through reshoots and recasting and came out years late.
“chaos walking is going back for its 4th round of reshoots and recastings”
what-if (what-if):
Emily Blunt → Iron Man 2.
Fox kept Blunt in Gulliver's Travels instead of letting her be Black Widow in Iron Man 2 and the Avengers.
“Then John Favreau was like, I want you to play Black Widow and Iron Man 2”
what-if (what-if):
Emily Blunt → Get Him to the Greek.
Blunt dropped out of Get Him to the Greek; Rose Byrne replaced her and entered the Apatow system, leaving Blunt in a middle zone until Edge.
“They replaced her with Rose Byrne, who then gets properly fed into the Appatau system”
verdict (verdict):
Edge of Tomorrow → Jumper.
Same director, similar practical-effect obsession; Jumper has a good idea and a bad story, Edge solves it.
“you're like, he figured out this one thing and the story sucks.”
craft (craft):
Doug Liman → Jumper.
Liman's tactile, cable-pulled approach on Jumper's teleports prefigures the practical exosuits in Edge, a classic Liman obsession that here paid off.
“You're like classic Lyman mistake, except they solve it”
industry (industry):
Edge of Tomorrow → Snabba Cash.
Dragomir Mrsic from Edge is in Snabba Cash, the Swedish film that got Joel Kinnaman English-language work and Espinosa the RoboCop remake.
“It's the thing that got Joel Kinnaman in English language productions, and then Daniel Espinoza gets hired to do the Robocop remake”
craft (craft):
Edge of Tomorrow → Monsters, Inc..
The ambiguous final beat mirrors Monsters Inc.: you want to know he goes back to her but no more definitive answer.
“the perfect ending because it's like the Monsters Inc. ending”
what-if (what-if):
Doug Liman → Tom Cruise.
Liman and Cruise announced a film shot in space; it was canceled because Cruise didn't want to owe Trump a favor.
“the space movie is finally like officially fucking canceled”
contrast (contrast):
Million Dollar Arm → Trouble with the Curve.
Two baseball-coded movies from that era: Trouble with the Curve is the Eastwood one, Million Dollar Arm the Hamm one.
contrast (contrast):
Eraserhead → Dances with Wolves.
Dances with Wolves is argued to be a rough draft of what Costner figured out later despite winning Best Picture.
“this is a rough draft for what he fucking figured out later, even though the world responded to it at the time as masterpiece.”
contrast (contrast):
Eraserhead → Edward Scissorhands.
Eraserhead is the same outsider idea as Edward Scissorhands in raw form, where Burton's film was reworked into a presentable studio picture.
“And this is him just doing the pure raw expression version of basically the same idea.”
lineage (lineage):
David Lynch → Henry Mancini.
Lynch as a child liked the music of Henry Mancini; the speaker then jokes none of these influences show in his work.
people (people):
David Lynch → Jack Fisk.
Fisk, the production designer who plays the Man in the Planet, is the other big friend Lynch made in high school.
“Uh, the other big uh, friend that he makes in high school. Jack Fisk.”
craft (craft):
David Lynch → Herbert Cardwell.
Lynch says the original cinematographer was a genius who helped him understand making movies and lighting.
“Lynch says he was a genius who helped him understand everything about making movies, like he knew how to light what he did”
craft (craft):
Eraserhead → Twin Peaks.
Lynch still relates emotions through images the way Eraserhead does, which the speaker saw again in Twin Peaks: The Return.
craft (craft):
Come Out and Play → Makinov.
The masked, pseudonymous Makinov is credited with director, cinematographer, editor, sound department, producer and writer on Come Out and Play, his only credit.
“He is credited as director, cinematographer, editor, sound department producer, and writer.”
what-if (what-if):
The 13th Warrior → Greg Nicotero.
With two reshoot units and a tripled budget, nobody thought to hire Greg Nicotero for creature looks, so the monsters stay men in bear suits.
“no one's like, hey, maybe hire Greg Nicatero and come with a couple cool looks.”
lineage (adaptation scope):
The Killer (graphic novel) → The Killer.
The film takes almost everything from the first 200-odd pages of the comic; the series ran on to 2018.
“it feels like everything from the movie is basically taken from the 1st 200 some odd pages”
fun, about
Vanilla Sky:
Griffin's casting story: a casting director warned him not to joke about 'can you hear me now?' when the Verizon actor wrote and directed a film.
“the writer and director of this film, who's going to be in the audition is the can you hear me now, guy?”
fun, about
Vanilla Sky:
The recording was spread over years because the hosts kept leaving the country, so references to a breakup will be five weeks stale on release.
“Having to re-listen to me make references to how sad I am right now 5 weeks from now when this episode's released.”