Actor-host with a deep interest in how TV pilots evolve and how Michael Mann's style bleeds into everything. Loves Thief best of Mann's work. Jokes about being unhireable and the Netflix job that vanished.
Stances
Thief is his top Mann film
Pilots that feel like complete little movies are best
Defends the guest Dana Stevens against Twitter critics
Humor: Self-deprecating, long bits about his own failed career and his mother's British ancestry.
In their words
“I think you were going to think my rankings are crazy.” (1:07:55)
Loves the original Planet of the Apes franchise and Tim Burton, and was a fan of the 2001 hype as a kid. Can't stand empty studio filmmaking with no point of view. A sucker for childhood fandom and memorabilia (action figures, Lisa Marie).
Stances
Burton's Apes is the first time a beloved director failed him
The makeup is the only thing worth praising
The film does not have a point of view
Humor: Self-deprecating nerd-confessional anecdotes and riffs on childhood devotion.
In their words
“I was like, peak Griff moving nerd fanaticism.” (0:16:56)
“I had all the action figures before the movie came out.” (0:18:01)
Appears to love specific film trivia and the New York of the film; teases about being downtown. Lines identified with him are low-confidence because the transcript has no speaker labels.
Stances
Recalls opening-weekend box office from memory
Lives and grew up near the film's downtown locations (inferred)
Humor: Dry bits and running gags; becomes 'Downtown Griffey Nooms' under the guest's teasing.
In their words
“I have a TV pair of glasses now.” (0:31:40)
“This is the game where I try to recall from memory the box office the weekend the movie open.” (1:57:23)
Blank Check with Griffin & David: Flesh+Blood (host)
Loves Verhoeven and says RoboCop, Toy Story 2 and Rushmore rank among his favorites. Worries about the Weinstein-era toxicity in this film. Fascinated by effects-driven classicism and by the Hauer/Verhoeven split.
Stances
Flesh+Blood is anthropological and fascinating but joyless
Verhoeven is a technical classicist smuggling extreme content into Hollywood form
Rooted for RoboCop being a favorite
Humor: Rambling bits, tangents and character voices.
In their words
“I have never been more excited to talk about a film on this podcast.” (1:38:03)
Seems to love practical Spielberg staging and sound design, character actors with great faces, and nostalgic picks like Harriet the Spy. Cannot stand lazy sequels with no story, CGI overuse and nostalgia-canonized movies. Is a sucker for merchandise history and a good Austin Powers rewatch.
Stances
Lost World has a plot but no story and is bottom five Spielberg
Spielberg fails when he directs with one arm behind his back
Jurassic World is far worse
Humor: Escalating riffs and running bits, including bad impressions, nicknames for the producer and self-deprecating Goldblum failure.
In their words
“I've never been able to get there.” (0:00:55)
“Spielberg, I think, always fails when he tries to direct with one arm behind his back.” (0:32:33)
Loves ambitious, misguided, disastrous failures and admits a near sexual fetish for them; gravitates toward films that are naked and transparent about their director's ego. Cannot stand being unable to follow exposition but still wants to rewatch. A sucker for Shyamalan trivia, mythology worldbuilding critique, and the film-about-filmmaking read.
Stances
Lady in the Water is bad but fascinating and he likes it a lot
Watchability is not linked to quality
The film is Shyamalan's defensive reaction to critics after The Village
Shyamalan films are crisis-of-faith movies about family
Humor: Runs elaborate recurring bits and segments (Burger Report, IMDb trivia corner, rewrite station, comedy points) and self-deprecating panic-attack anecdotes.
In their words
“I admit that I have a near sexual fetish for super ambitious misguided failures.” (1:36:00)
“I like this movie a lot.” (1:35:51)
“And so watchability is a thing that I don't link to quality.” (1:49:31)
An actor and comedian who loves Robert Downey Jr. (Ally McBeal, Bowfinger) and loves cataloguing credits, billing, and who produced what. Can't stand hacky, symbolic drama like The Judge or misjudged comedies like Wedding Crashers and Fred Claus. A sucker for Shanghai Noon, Due Date, and Dax Shepard's character.
Stances
The Judge is treacle with a Dobkin comedy brain stuck in a prestige drama
Downey needs a real director like PTA or Raimi to surprise audiences
Duvall phoning it in beats De Niro or Pacino phoning it in
Humor: Long riffing metaphors (the bar mitzvah, the bagel), bodily-fluid gags, and self-deprecating asides about the show's tiny audience.
In their words
“It feels like the way that 13 year old boys have to act during their bar mitzvah” (0:56:38)
“Overbagled.” (0:28:55)
“Now you're stuck with us talking about the judge.” (0:03:31)
A deep pop-culture archaeologist who loves He-Man (especially Orko), Henson fantasy, Toy Story, Barbie, and the Lego movies, and who voiced Orko himself. He is skeptical of masculine man-defends-his-castle fantasy and of defensive, self-embarrassed jokes. He is a sucker for the Hudsucker Proxy, odd animation like Raggedy Ann & Andy, and word-of-mouth box office oddities.
Stances
The film gets the metatextual framework right but only gets 60% there
Toy movies are mostly bad except those not driven by a product
He-Man himself is his least favorite part of He-Man
Orko was unforgivably withheld
Humor: Nerdy, rapid-fire trivia and self-aware jokes about his own obsessions and merchandise hoarding.
In their words
“I have way too much He-Man merchandise.” (0:37:20)
“He's what a child thinks they would be as a grown up if they got really buff and strong.” (0:31:53)
“It is a movie entirely about the hula hoop.” (1:34:41)
Griffin is a long-time Cameron enthusiast and sincere blockbuster fan, someone who watches trailers on loop and gets choked up by them. He loves a clean engineered story and defends Avatar's sincerity. He dislikes meta, smirky franchise filmmaking.
Stances
Avatar's clunky human dialogue is deliberate
Franchise filmmaking is in a crisis point
Cameron has earned the benefit of the doubt
Humor: Affable and self-deprecating, with long enthusiastic riffs.
In their words
“I'm beyond excited.” (1:41:16)
“I truly get like emotionally choked up watching these trailers” (1:41:52)
A RoboCop devotee with posters, a bust and a bootleg toy in the office, who loves the Verhoeven original and its satire. He can't stand humorless grounded remakes that cut the jokes and the visor. A sucker for baseball giveaways at Mets games and Easter eggs done right.
Stances
The remake is an F and worse than Ouija
Satire and humor are what make the original
A black suit with no detail is a failure
Robocop should be dumb and funny, not cool
Humor: Rants and elaborate analogies, like the pizza series, delivered with escalating mock fury.
In their words
“I'm just gonna come out and say this is an F.” (0:55:03)
“Robocop one is like the best pizza you've ever had.” (1:29:28)
Loves Edge of Tomorrow as a masterpiece and Cruise's turn toward weird, low-status roles; likes Oblivion and Looper-era Blunt; likes Liman's chaos when it works. Can't stand Liman's later films like Road House.
Stances
Edge is a five-star film that improves on repeat
This is Cruise's pivot to the McQuarrie era
Alien design here and in Arrival is rare in the 2010s
Humor: Rapid riffs and movie-industry gossip, often wrapping a joke around a bit of trivia.
In their words
“Edge of tomorrow is 5 stars.” (0:07:20)
“It is truly a movie that gets better every time you watch it.” (0:07:25)
Loves cult comedy and genre curiosities such as Perfect Dark, Nirvana the Band, and weird bracket ideas like Psycho with Bates Motel. Enthusiastic about Peter Weir, Welles, and Del Toro. Dislikes long filmographies as a rule and bad Robocop sequels.
Stances
Wants more Peter Weir and Orson Welles
Votes against the long boy in every matchup
Grudge: RoboCop 2 should never put the mask back on
Humor: Builds committed running bits (pitmaster, Chip Smith) and doubles down until the room breaks.
A Lynch fan who loves Eraserhead as a pure raw expression of an outsider and calls it a fully arrived masterpiece. Loves the bit-work of generating nicknames and sorting debut films into buckets. Can't stand eggs and gets queasy at the chicken-carving idea.
Stances
Eraserhead is a masterpiece debut
It is coherent and autobiographical, not impenetrable
Debut films fall into rough draft, masterpiece and a third bucket
Humor: Escalating riffs and mock-pompous bits about nicknames, with self-aware jabs at the show.
In their words
“And this is him just doing the pure raw expression version of basically the same idea.” (0:26:19)
“Holy shit, who the fuck is this guy fully arrived masterpiece.” (0:16:34)
Runs the show and the episode dossier, and loves production-disaster minutiae, alternate titles and what-if histories. A sucker for 90s studio chaos and podcast in-jokes (jelly trilogy, Forky). Frustrated by a movie that is dark and muddy and has no scary monsters.
Stances
Eaters of the Dead was the better title
The version worth making is a smaller, pulpier one
Defends Mank and is a Fincher-series completist who ranks Zodiac first; loves the autobiographical reading of The Killer (Fincher mocking his own control). A sucker for Tilda Swinton performances and for details like the Smiths playlist. Uncertain about the Soderbergh-style streaming deal.
Stances
The Killer is about filmmaking and Fincher's own process
Fincher's Netflix deal is a bad fit for streaming
Mank is a celebration of a cantankerous artist and a self-portrait
Humor: Absurdist riffs, Letterboxd one-liners, and long tangents about fast food.
In their words
“My letterbox type clip on the movie is a psychological horror film about David Fincher imagining a reality where he's only allowed one take.” (0:22:44)
“It's fucking Sidney Lumette's making movies.” (1:24:53)
Likes the Hearst scenes and the performances, but is less sold on the movie than David and Sean. Comes at it as a wounded theatrical-experience loser, upset he never saw it in a theater.
Stances
Wishes he'd seen it in a theater
Likes the movie less than David
Wants more Fincher Tuppence Middleton
Humor: Self-deprecating, tangent-prone, and loves puns like 'Mancrodosing'.
In their words
“I cannot stop thinking about how angry I am that I never got to see this in a theater.” (0:20:21)
“I'm circling the island.” (2:27:36)
“Mancrodosing. Five minutes of manca day.” (0:22:58)
Carries the Fincher-completist trivia (the unmade projects, the casting what-ifs) and is deep in the Affleck and Reese Witherspoon career talk. Likes a franchise that earns its box office, and says he is all in on the Equalizer films. Can't stand a lazy cable-movie career move, and has lost patience with TV coverage on the show.
Stances
Fincher's unmade projects (Star Wars, 20,000 Leagues) are as interesting as the films
Wants Equalizer 3 to reach $103 million
Mindhunter was an episode he and David did not want to cover, because TV multiplies the work
Humor: Runs dead-pan bits at length (the Quibby and Reese 'Fierce Queens' routine) and keeps count of the numbers.
In their words
“Star Wars, episode seven.” (0:25:36)
“The Equalizer one made $101 million domestically.” (2:53:28)
“Dave and I really didn't want to do this episode.” (3:03:23)
Loves Fincher, comfort rewatches, commentary tracks and the research dossier; admires Rooney Mara and the film's gentleness at the margins. Can't stand the Swedish films' flatness or the Spider's Web reboot. A sucker for a good casting story and a recurring bit.
Stances
Dismisses the Swedish films as mid
calls this a movie that improves on rewatch
defends Fincher's reshoots as worth it.
Humor: Runs bits to exhaustion (string cheese, Clint Eastwood railroading, strangling-each-other energy) and teases Ben.
In their words
“I saw it Christmas time, 2011.” (0:25:28)
“I've been trying to watch most of these movies with commentaries.” (1:10:15)
“I just remember when the trailer for this came out” (0:34:01)
Loves Sorkin's dialogue and Fincher's rigor, and is the host with an actor's view of auditions and sets. Dismissive of Facebook as an experience now. A sucker for behind-the-scenes lore and the Blu-ray extras.
Stances
The script's pace is the movie
Fincher's many takes freed the actors
Humor: Rambling, self-aware riffs and character-voice bits.
In their words
“I pointedly remember that the they sent the script out, but for the auditions, it was just other Sorkin scenes.” (0:52:46)
“So this script hits and like every single person on set is like, I'm just trying to get any fucking part in the sofa work.” (0:51:41)
Became a Fincher believer at Zodiac and was all in for Button on the strength of that and the teaser. Reads Button as a deliberate anti-Gump about death rather than a failed weepy. Likes the film's passivity and its refusal to give catharsis.
Stances
Button is pointedly an anti-Gump
the film is more Fincher than its reputation allows
the hospital framing is the real film
Humor: Rapid-fire impressions and callback bits, including the running seven-but-looks-older line.
In their words
“But I think it's almost like pointedly an anti-gump.” (0:22:50)
“Whatever this guy's next movie is, this is now I'm most anticipated movie.” (0:17:37)
Their shows' recurring bits
Running bits, not opinions; a critic read aloud is cited, not present.
The Big Picture
Drafts: Hosts and guests draft films in rounds; every pick is a recommendation with an argument.
Hall of Fame: A star's or director's best, ranked and argued.
Countdowns: Ranked lists, top five or top ten.
Blank Check with Griffin & David
The box office game: Guessing the film's opening weekend and what it was up against.
The sung theme: "Blank Check with Griffin and David", sung; the transcriber garbles it.
Their claims
Showing 301–400 of 1,162 claims.
people (frequent director):
Diablo Cody → Jason Reitman.
Reitman has directed half of Cody's movies.
“Half her movies have been directed by Jason Reitman, who, uh, I, you know, will happily do on this podcast in the year 3000.”
lineage (origin-story parallel):
Jason Reitman → Darren Aronofsky.
Reitman's image-first story for Afterlife recalls Aronofsky's story of typing the title mother and the exclamation mark.
“that reminds me of the Darren Aronovsky story about writing the title for mother”
unmapped (joke equivalence):
Pixels → Ricki and the Flash.
A joke that Pixels was Adam Sandler coming back to a recovering suicidal daughter, i.e. Ricki.
“Became Adam Sandler coming back to a suicidal daughter's like recovery period.”
lineage (adaptation):
Toxic Crusaders → The Toxic Avenger.
A kid-friendly cartoon was spun off a transgressive Troma film, and a revival died because the contracts could not be found.
“Toxic Crusaders, which was the weird Saturday morning version of Toxic Avenger, uh, a movie that is super transgressive and the least child friendly thing in the world.”
unmapped (legal anecdote):
Donkey Kong → King Kong.
Nintendo escaped a Universal suit because nobody had registered King Kong, and Nintendo got the Donkey Kong trademark first.
theme (premise comparison):
Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind → Starship Troopers.
Early in the film it reads as Miyazaki's people-versus-bugs movie, but its ending flips the Starship Troopers propaganda by having the heroine empathize with the bugs.
unmapped (cause of policy):
Warriors of the Wind → Hayao Miyazaki.
The butchered US version led Miyazaki to refuse any change to later American releases.
“this was so stupid that, uh, that's sort of, I think, the beginning of Miyazaki being like, I approve any, uh, American version.”
industry (creator vs studio):
Princess Mononoke → Taxi Driver.
The no-cuts sword story is paired with Scorsese's story of nearly holding Columbia hostage over a recut of Taxi Driver.
“Scorsese has that story about the night that he almost had a mental breakdown when Columbia wanted to recut taxi driver”
contrast (ethical contrast):
Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind → The Lion King.
Nausicaä values insects as alive, whereas the photoreal Lion King has Timon and Pumbaa eating bugs that visibly flee in fear.
“Whereas Nausaka is like the one person who's like, no, they're like alive.”
contrast (tone contrast):
John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum → Thor.
Gun fetishism in Thor's ending bothers Griffin, but John Wick's cartoonish violence does not.
“Gun fetishy stuff, I just get really uncomfortable, right?”
career (career comeback):
Keanu Reeves → John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum.
Griffin argues the film is a masterpiece of survival that mirrors Keanu's own loss and repeated comebacks.
“it's maybe the best work of Keanu's entire career.”
unmapped (expectations):
Planet of the Apes → Toy Story 2.
Griffin was as excited for Apes as for Toy Story 2, which exceeded his expectations while Apes crushed them.
“And the only other movie I was ever this excited for was Toy Story 2, which became my favorite movie of all time.”
unmapped (Burton romance):
Lisa Marie → Helena Bonham Carter.
Burton met Helena Bonham Carter on Apes, and Lisa Marie, who appears in the film and has her last Burton role, was the Burton partner Griffin was invested in; paparazzi caught him with Bonham Carter in Paris.
theme (personal trilogy):
Tim Burton → Ed Wood.
One commenter argued Ed Wood, Edward Scissorhands and Batman Returns say everything Burton has to say; after that he took what was offered.
“Ed Wood, Edward Scissorhands, and Batman Returns, or like this perfect triptych of everything that guy sort of has to say in his heart”
theme (ending parallel):
Planet of the Apes → Planet of the Apes.
Alex Ross Perry texted that the original book ends in a way very similar to the 2001 film.
“the original book ends in a way that's very similar to this.”
programming (programming):
As Good as It Gets → Tomorrow Never Dies.
It opened at number three on Dec. 26, 1997 behind Titanic and Tomorrow Never Dies.
craft (craft):
David Chase → The Sopranos.
Chase insisted on casting real guys with real mob history, which made production tell actors with arrest warrants not to show up.
“David Chase was like so into like getting these real guys who had the real history.”
industry (industry):
Flesh and Blood → The Lost World: Jurassic Park.
Flesh+Blood is a tweener or bridge between two phases of the director's career, as Lost World was for Spielberg.
lineage (lineage):
Paul Verhoeven → Hieronymus Bosch.
Verhoeven says a Bosch painting with a man defecating in the background formed his artistic ideal.
industry (industry):
Flesh and Blood → Orion Pictures.
Orion financed most of the film and demanded a female character, cutting the rape scene; it kept Verhoeven afterward for RoboCop.
industry (industry):
Flesh and Blood → Piranha II: The Spawning.
Verhoeven's 80s patchwork-financed film is seen as like a director testing before gaining control in Hollywood.
“I wasn't sure if this was going to feel like a piranha 2 where it's like a guy testing it out before he figures out how to gain control in Hollywood.”
people (people):
Rutger Hauer → Paul Verhoeven.
Hauer and Verhoeven fought on Flesh+Blood because Hauer wanted to play a hero after Blade Runner and they never worked together again.
“Howard was so pissed off that Verhoeven wouldn't let him be like a fucking matinee idol hero because he was afraid of being typecast after Blade Runner”
career (career):
Flesh and Blood → RoboCop.
Flesh+Blood is the failure that led Verhoeven to Hollywood and RoboCop, where he built entertainment around his interests.
“from this film on, he figures out how to take everything he's interested in and put it into the body of a conventionally entertaining Hollywood movie”
contrast (contrast):
Paul Verhoeven → Bill Hader.
Verhoeven is like Bill Hader, not Rich Little: he learned American blockbuster craft to smuggle in his own content.
“If I can learn their language, then I can smuggle all the things I actually want to say into these conventional looking movies.”
craft (structural echo):
Lady in the Water → The Village.
The cast-intro structure, where each character gets one cartoonish trait up front, works like The Village, except The Village is involving.
“sort of in the same way that the village works, except the village is involving.”
“We talked about there was a phenomenon that would occur in that movie in those movies where like a stretch of dialogue is so much fucking nonsense information.”
theme (plot comparison):
Lady in the Water → The Lorax.
A creature living in a tree stump who kicks herself in the behind and flies to the sky is likened to the Lorax.
contrast (worldbuilding contrast):
Lady in the Water → Harry Potter (the films).
Proposes the invented terms would be easier if the story were a known fable, since J.K. Rowling's invented vocabulary was learned by audiences.
“Like, he was just like, oh, J.K. Rowling did it.”
unmapped (answering critics):
M. Night Shyamalan → The Village.
A scene where a character is outraged that the critic presumed to know his motives is read as Shyamalan reacting to critics of The Village.
“this is M. Night Shyaman being like, don't tell me what my motivations were for making the village.”
verdict (verdict):
Christopher Doyle → Lady in the Water.
After calling the party scene illegible and boggling to follow, the speaker jokes that the cinematographer's own habits explain why the film is hard to follow.
“But in his defense, the reason's so hard to follow is because Christopher Doyle was having sex with a black woman and being arrested while they were.”
theme (ending comparison):
Lady in the Water → Signs.
Both end abruptly on one image after someone heals a body through prayer or love, with only a token time jump.
“Because signs does the same thing where it just ends.”
theme (recurring theme):
Lady in the Water → Signs.
Shyamalan films all center on men who neglect family for work and on crises of faith; here the man loses his family entirely.
“all in my trauma films are crisis of faith movies, right?”
people (falling out):
M. Night Shyamalan → Nina Jacobson.
Shyamalan left Disney reportedly because Jacobson did not read the script immediately and then did not like it.
“Disney's president of development, Nina Jacobson, took her son to a party instead of staying home to read the script for lady in the water.”
unmapped (film about filmmaking):
Lady in the Water → Inception.
Griffin reads Lady in the Water as Shyamalan's Inception, with the crew roles standing for the collaborative filmmaking process.
“I think he confirmed it, that Inception was Christopher Nolan's film about filmmaking.”
people (director-style):
Chaplin → Richard Attenborough.
Chaplin is called a bland, mediocre Attenborough-style biopic despite Downey's physical performance.
“Yeah, I mean, it's Richard Attenburg kind of, yeah. It's super bland.”
unmapped (backing):
Mel Gibson → Robert Downey Jr..
After Air America together, Gibson put up the insurance bond so Downey could be hired when no one else would insure him.
“Mel Gibson puts up the insurance bond because he believes this guy needs a chance, but the movie doesn't do very well.”
career (career-turning-point):
Gothika → Robert Downey Jr..
Gothika, though a bad film, was his first big-studio return on the straight and narrow, and led to Susan.
people (producer):
Joel Silver → Kiss Kiss Bang Bang.
Silver produced Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, written by his Lethal Weapon writer Shane Black, which became Downey's leading-man calling card.
“which was produced by Joel Silver, one of by Shane Black, who wrote some of Joel Silver's biggest hits.”
unmapped (salary-dispute):
Terrence Howard → Iron Man 2.
Howard earned triple Downey on the first film, and the raise-for-Downey dispute explains the recast.
“He gets paid less than any other actor in the film. Terrence Howard got 3 times as much as him.”
people (producer):
Sherlock Holmes → Susan Downey.
The Silver Company and Downey's wife built Sherlock Holmes as a franchise for him once he was a proven box-office star.
“The Silver Company and his wife, they said, now that you're a proven box office start, Let's make a franchise for you where we can benefit from it.”
people (director-experiment):
Due Date → Todd Phillips.
Phillips, fresh off The Hangover, wanted to test how far he could push Downey's prickliness and still be liked.
“I want to try to experiment with how far I can push Danny Jr. in a film and still have audiences like him.”
people (writer-link):
David Dobkin → Gran Torino.
Dobkin had the idea from his father's elder years and pitched it to the writer of Gran Torino, who wrote it.
“picture basically to the writer of Grand Torino.”
contrast (awards-contrast):
The Judge → The King's Speech.
King's Speech and A Beautiful Mind are the nearest recent mannered Oscar winners, but they are British or biopic.
“But that's the British Tony thing. You know? And Beautiful Mind is like biopic.”
people (great-performance):
Robert Duvall → The Godfather.
Duvall's restrained Tom Hagen is held up as proof Oscars do not simply nominate him for everything.
“Oh, Tom Hagen is one of my favorite characters ever.”
lineage (homage):
The Judge → Man of Steel.
The tornado father-son fight echoes the father-son tornado scene in Man of Steel, another Warner Bros. film.
“an homage to everyone's favorite father son scene from Man of Steel.”
people (suggested-collaboration):
Robert Downey Jr. → Paul Thomas Anderson.
To get an Oscar he needs a director who will push him out of his zone, such as PTA or Sam Raimi, not Dobkin.
“But someone like Paul Thomas Anderson. You know who's not going to let him close.”
“so much of He-Man and the 80s for toys is a response to every major company passing on Star Wars that Star Wars is the whiff that no one can live down.”
fun, about
Hanging Up:
Delia Ephron, overheard in a theater, said Keaton ruined the best thing she would write (told by Bobby on the You've Got Mail episode).
fun, about
Diane Keaton:
Keaton's directing career before Hanging Up: Belinda Carlisle videos, a documentary, and a CBS special with a very sensitive title.
“it has the very, very sensitive title of the girl with the crazy brother.”
fun, about
Terry Windell:
Terry Wendell (Windell) made Palpatine's lightning and the next year Ghostbusters' proton streams; the speaker's colleague on a show, who died days after wrapping.
“Terry Wendell is the visual effects artist who did Palpatine's lighting.”
fun, about
Star Wars: Episode VI – Return of the Jedi:
May 1983 box office: Jedi opened number one, ahead of Blue Thunder, Flashdance, Breathless, Tootsie, in a quiz format.
fun, about
Blankies host:
No one wants to host the Blankies; the planned host was Shane Gillis until he 'pushed too many boundaries'; the 'metaphor doesn't track' because you don't miss a boundary when pushing.
fun, about
Judi Dench in Cats:
Judi Dench's Cats performance: pure presence and commitment to something ridiculous; looks the most ridiculous of anyone.
“It is pure presence and pure commitment to something that is ridiculous.”
fun, about
Pain and Glory and the Cats trailer:
Griffin walked out of Pain and Glory and watched the Cats trailer on his phone in the hallway, then found a sandwich.
“walked out of that screaming and the cats trailer had dropped.”
fun, about
Ludacris at the F9 livestream:
While recording, the hosts watch the F9 trailer livestream concert; Ludacris performs, wearing a 'fake moon landing' shirt.
“Ludacris is wearing a shirt that says fake moon landing, no stars in the sky.”
fun, about
Fast & Furious 9 livestream:
While recording, Griffin keeps checking the F9 trailer livestream; he is 'genuinely having a panic attack waiting for this trailer'.
“I'm genuinely having a panic attack waiting for this trailer, so I'm ending this episode right now.”
fun, about
Avengers: Infinity War:
Opening ritual: the hosts try to start the film in sync with a Thanos snap, botching the remote and resetting twice.
“David, I'm going to go three, two, one, and then I want you to do a Thanos snap.”
fun, about
Benedict Wong:
Wong once attended a Blank Check taping, then flew to New York on Robert Downey Jr.'s private jet while Downey went to see the Grateful Dead; he and Peter Serafinowitz met in West End Star Trek Live.
“They appeared in a West End production of Star Trek Live”
fun, about
Robert Downey Jr.:
Griffin recalls Downey's baffling Instagram video announcing a Rolling Stones and NASA collaboration, in front of a 1997 screensaver.
“Have you guys seen the video of Robert Downey Jr. announcing the collaboration between The Rolling Stones and NASA?”
fun, about
Avengers theme:
Griffin plays the Avengers theme to feel confident before shows and auditions and imagines himself part of an end-credit scene.
“I listen to the Avengers theme and I walk down the streets of New York City and I think that like I'm part of an end credit scene.”
fun, about
Stellan Skarsgard:
In the Greenwich scene, Selvig is naked again in the no-pants zone; the speakers joke he must have written a nude clause into his Marvel deal.
fun, about
Frigga:
Frigga's Viking funeral, defended as the movie taking itself seriously; Portman later wears Frigga's dress, which the speaker says makes zero size sense.
fun, about
Heimdall:
Heimdall guards the rainbow bridge alone; the speakers debate what podcasts he'd listen to: not Comedy Bang, more S-Town or documentary.
fun, about
Benicio del Toro:
The Collector mid-credits scene: Benicio del Toro as Space Nesia whispers 'don't tell anybody'; the speakers imagine his demands on the Guardians ride.
“It's weird also that in this scene he leans in and goes, don't tell anybody.”
fun, about
Joss Whedon:
Whedon's pitch meeting: said the Zak Penn script was garbage; also told Downey it's a team movie with Cap leading, no Iron Man movie.
fun, about
Mark Ruffalo:
Ruffalo's career: Lonergan breakout, dropped out of Signs with an ear tumor, rom-com rut ('the mailman'), then Zodiac, Oscar nomination, and the Avengers call.
fun, about
Mark Ruffalo:
His agent told him to look out the window at 5:30 AM; a black car meant Comic-Con and the announcement as the Hulk, hours later.
“if there's a black car parked outside, it's to take you to the airport to go to Comic-Con.”
fun, about
Hulk:
See the scene where Banner reveals he shot himself and the Hulk spat the bullet out; he stays calm by always being angry (1:12:30, then 1:54:08 payoff).
“He shot himself in the head and he turned into the Hulk and the Hulk spit the bullet out.”
fun, about
Phil Coulson:
Coulson dies at about 1:25 with his Captain America cards bloodied; Griffin notes Clark Gregg returns for Captain Marvel's 1990s setting.
“Phil Colson worshiped him so much with the blood on them.”
fun, about
Hawkeye:
Hawkeye can run out of arrows (2:00-2:03) and Griffin hates knowing it; see the 'Vulture' stopwatch article claiming only six minutes of Hawkeye screen time.
“poor Hawkeye only has like 6 minutes of screen time.”
fun, about
Griffin Newman:
Griffin was a 90-pound mono-recovering actor who ate four cheeseburgers and a milkshake at the Disney store lunch break to gain mass and wondered why he didn't get the part.
“I would buy 4 cheeseburgers in a milkshake, and I would down it in 20 minutes”
fun, about
Zola (the reasonable Nazi):
Griffin's complaint: Zola is the voice of reason while Red Skull is cartoonish; he wants the evil doctor to cackle, not question atomizers as inhumane.
fun, about
Merchandise:
Production started so late that toys and binders were made from concept art, so Cap merchandise shows the wrong costume with the helmet still on, and Red Skull has a black nose.
“A, all of the Captain American merchandise for this movie has the wrong costume.”
fun, about
Thor:
See the opening Thor-throws-his-coffee-mug-on-the-ground scene; Ben calls it the best part of the movie.
“He throws his coffee on the ground.”
Blank Check — Patreon ·
Thor ·
0:01:51 ·
Griffin Newman
(0.40 sure it was them)
fun, about
Anthony Hopkins:
Hopkins reportedly took Odin because he circled every scene with NAR, no acting required; the bit gets tied to Blank Check's lexicon of River of Ham.
“I read the script, and every scene, I just circled it and wrote NAR, and I went, I'm on board”
Blank Check — Patreon ·
Thor ·
0:09:03 ·
Griffin Newman
(0.45 sure it was them)
fun, about
Kenneth Branagh:
River of Ham: Ray Stevenson fears dipping his toe in the river of ham and Branagh tells him to take a swim; the hosts include it in the Blank Check lexicon.
“I bathed in that river many times.”
Blank Check — Patreon ·
Thor ·
0:15:16 ·
Griffin Newman
(0.40 sure it was them)
fun, about
Thor:
See the Hawkeye cameo: Jeremy Renner perched in a crow's nest deliberating whether to shoot Thor, never speaking to him, clearly shot on a day no one else worked.
“Isn't it just clear that Renner came in on a day when no one else was working?”
Blank Check — Patreon ·
Thor ·
1:00:04 ·
Griffin Newman
(0.40 sure it was them)
fun, about
Stellan Skarsgard:
A long running bit: the hosts hunt the internet for Skarsgard nudity, ending on a site they say tells you which minute to watch of each movie, and an unused plan to have listeners tweet at Ben.
“Hey, if you can find the pean, hashtag, uh, find the pean for Ben.”
Blank Check — Patreon ·
Thor ·
1:17:40 ·
Griffin Newman
(0.50 sure it was them)
fun, about
Thor:
Natalie Portman and Hemsworth kiss at an impossible height, with her seeming to stand on 17 ladders; the hosts wish for the wide shot or a canted angle with Hemsworth bending 90 degrees.
“Allie Portman is standing on 17 ladders.”
Blank Check — Patreon ·
Thor ·
1:33:51 ·
Griffin Newman
(0.40 sure it was them)
fun, about
Thor:
Rene Russo gets one moment with a big sword and almost no lines as Frigga; Dark World gives her more.
“She doesn't have much to do in this.”
Blank Check — Patreon ·
Thor ·
1:34:35 ·
Griffin Newman
(0.35 sure it was them)
fun, about
A.O. Scott:
The hosts read A.O. Scott's Thor review opening about fleeing the IMAX into the velvet shadows of an art house, then Samuel L. Jackson's tweet telling fans he needs a new job.
“Avengers fans, New York Times critic AO Scott needs a new job.”
Blank Check — Patreon ·
Thor ·
1:36:38 ·
Griffin Newman
(0.50 sure it was them)
fun, about
Rio:
Rio killed Pixar's Newt: the trailer showed the same last-of-the-species-must-mate premise, so Pixar cancelled the film it announced.
“the Rio trailer came out and they were like, fuck, that's the same premise and they're going to beat us by 3 years.”
Blank Check — Patreon ·
Thor ·
1:53:22 ·
Griffin Newman
(0.40 sure it was them)
fun, about
Mickey Rourke:
Rourke's Chihuahua died right before filming; he allegedly made PAs hold up pictures of the dog and its belongings for the crying and screaming scenes.
“And he apparently would make PAs hold up pictures of his dog and like his dog's belongings for all these scenes where he's like crying and screaming.”
fun, about
Mickey Rourke:
Rumor of Rourke and Rockwell as the two villains played well, then Rourke trashed Marvel on the red carpet; the trailer was built around the Monte Carlo reveal of him.
“Maybe if those skinflints at Marvel open up their wallets a little bit.”
fun, about
The Tick:
Griffin's background-actor tale from The Tick: an extra twirling like Sound of Music in a happy crowd scene, and a recurring extra he called extra extra.
“And we called her extra extra because she did so much.”
fun, about
Ben Hosley:
Griffin posted a photo of Ben vaping; the replies ran from Colin Gossel to a good lounge-singer jazz album cover; it became a running gag.
fun, about
National Treasure:
Someone at Bruckheimer's office dropped pages of the unmade third film and a friend photographed the first three in a closet.
“a couple of the pages fell off and this friend like ran into like a closet and took photos of the 1st 3 pages”
fun, about
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon:
Griffin and his dad disliked it at 11, but his memory of it kept improving: perfect recall played better and better.
“Sure. And my dad and I were both like, what's the fucking deal with that thing?”
fun, about
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon:
The first fight: the whole first 35 minutes are people talking about how good Li Mu Bai is, then he shows up and it takes three moves.
“The entire 1st 35 minutes of the movie are people talking about how good he is at fighting.”