Loves Marvel's cosmic, ragtag-team side and the animated Rocket/Groot heart; affectionate about the sillier comic characters. Dislikes humorless gray franchise filmmaking and bad needle drops. A sucker for a ragtag group, a Trek-style space comedy, and a Han Solo type inside an ensemble. Speaker attribution in this transcript is uncertain.
Stances
Gunn is a real filmmaker who won his arguments with Marvel
Quill is the best Han Solo since Han Solo
Rocket and Groot are one of the best big/small duos
Humor: Talks in self-aware bits (the countdown clock, chronic lateness) and makes dirty-minded pile-ons with the room.
In their words
“I just don't get how, like, people saw this movie who had not seen every Marvel movie for sure.” (0:24:45)
“That's the other big thing is that gun was a troma guy.” (0:36:18)
Marvel completist who loves the series' smaller character beats (Agent Carter, Peggy, Falcon, Sam Jackson's Fury) and defends Infinity War. Loves action built from hand-to-hand fights and movie-star dialogue scenes. Allergic to bad-faith villain motives and to the cheap CGI leaps. Suckers for old tech, spy-bureaucracy aesthetic and New Hollywood stars.
Stances
Winter Soldier is great until the final Helicarrier act
Prefers small-scale hand-to-hand action to CGI set pieces
Loves Agent Carter and wants it back
Mild on Bucky/Winter Soldier himself
Humor: Rapid riffs, character voices, self-deprecating anecdotes and overlong running bits that derail the commentary.
In their words
“I just love this sequence” (0:08:33)
“I think this movie's basically terrific until the final seppies” (0:12:41)
Loves lore-heavy, dorky, earnest sci-fi fantasy with real sets, tactile design and a spaceship in it; likes the Thor mythos and Sif. Dislikes things that mock their own source material (Ragnarok) and thinks the first Thor is too clean. A sucker for spectacle that dumps lore on a simple hero's journey.
Stances
Dark World is the most underappreciated Marvel film
Ragnarok disrespects the mythos
Practical, tactile design beats cartoony CGI
Humor: Rapid riffing wordplay and long running bits (Tony Lip as pizza), eagerly undercutting his own sincerity.
In their words
“I'm defenseless before any dizzyingly silly sci-fi epic that downloads gigabytes of lore into the viewer's brain by means of a simple hero's journey narrative.” (1:38:17)
Loves Iron Man 3 as his favorite MCU film for its character study and how it turns superhero loneliness into anxiety and panic. Collects $20 off-the-shelf action figures and Hot Toys Robocop, and cherishes buddy-cop 80s action and well-built set pieces. Dislikes suits that are just mush CGI and wet-cement final fights.
Stances
Iron Man 3 is a masterpiece and anyone who dislikes it is wrong
Tony should be out of the suit; the film works because he is not Iron Man for most of it
Marvel should have let the Rebecca Hall villain stand
Loves Whedon-era dialogue, Buffy and Firefly, Kenneth Lonergan, and character-driven ensemble action; sucker for actors having fun and clever setups paid off. Dislikes homogenized Marvel visuals, rock-song tags, and Grindelwald's Crimes. Allergic to a Christmas tree and moose.
Stances
Whedon's script is the star; the film is not visually distinguished
Ruffalo is the movie's best performance
Costume detail (neckcloth) bothers him
Grindelwald should be as fun as Loki
Humor: Spends bits on celebrity impressions (Downey, Timberlake, Tom Waits) and mock-pompous asides.
In their words
“I'm still like a big Buffy fan, a big old-fashioned Wii. I love Firefly, right?” (0:04:21)
“This is what I want Grindewald to be like...” (0:40:51)
He loves heightened-but-not-kitschy design, period movies, Peggy Carter, and actors who underplay. He is a sucker for old-fashioned adventure and a Fantastic Four fan. He doesn't like the reasonable-Nazi Zola or the digital-video look of early-2010s effects.
Stances
The film feels like it ends in the middle
Bucky does not work as an emotional anchor
Actors' behavior in food scenes reveals pros from novices
Humor: Self-deprecating personal stories, about being 90 pounds and eating four cheeseburgers at his Disney store job.
In their words
“I was so grossly underweight and I felt like it was a hindrance to my career because I looked skeleton.” (0:18:15)
A Masters of the Universe devotee who reaches for He-Man as the template for Thor, loves the hammer payoff, and is a sucker for Cat Dennings and Sif. Dislikes the desaturated palette and the cheap-looking Jotunheim. Has the clearest pop-culture and actor-career recall, with skits and personal anecdotes.
Stances
Thor is a remake of Masters of the Universe
The movie looks ugly and desaturated
Hemsworth's performance and chemistry work
Not yet sold on Thor as a character until Avengers and Dark World
Humor: Escalating bits that run for minutes, like the Skarsgard-nudity search and buried jeans.
In their words
“It's mostly just a remake of the live action masters of the universe movie.” (0:03:54)
“I'm searching Stellen Starsgard full frontal nudity.” (1:12:14)
Loves comic-book lore (Crimson Dynamo, Demon in a Bottle) and Iron Man 3, Galaxy Quest, Garry Shandling. Cannot stand a movie that pads out its middle with self-impressed banter. A sucker for Tartakovsky action.
Stances
Iron Man 3 is the great Iron Man movie
Iron Man 2 mistakes riffing for story
Dark World is a joke best American film
Humor: Riffs and impressions, pumps up bits like the Expo is an element.
In their words
“Iron Man 3 is the greatest movie ever made.” (0:25:19)
“I love Larry Sanders too, but it's Gary Shandling show is like my favorite.” (1:30:55)
Loves Ang Lee's Hulk and is quick to defend Iron Man 2's ambitions; hates bad CGI faces and generic action presets; a sucker for chain restaurants, pizza and Marvel lore.
Stances
Ang Lee's Hulk is good and this one is a corrective with no point
Edward Norton is miscast and unengaged
Iron Man 2 fails more interestingly
Humor: Absurdist riffing, sung bits, and escalating food and chain-restaurant tangents.
Loves Marvel comics deeply (Ultimate line, Ms. Marvel, Franklin Richards), actor-driven performances, and looseness; hates a studio-polished formula and a reporter sleeping with the subject trope. A sucker for comic-book film process scenes, the Comic-Con trailer era, and the Tick.
Stances
Iron Man is solid but not beloved; the post-credits Fury scene blew his mind
Prefers Iron Man's visible machinery to nanobite suits
Thinks Infinity War is a triumph, others disagree
Humor: Riffs and bits about his own history (Times Square apartment, 99-cent pizza, Avatar audition).
In their words
“I remember liking this movie. I didn't love it, but I remember feeling... Oh, I fucking loved this movie.” (1:13:42)
Obsessive about National Treasure and the minutiae of movie culture, and a Nancy Meyers admirer who frames her as a souffle filmmaker. Cares about Oscar-season lore and montages. Likes that Nicholson is vulnerable and unvain in this film.
Stances
Nancy Meyers is a souffle filmmaker whose perfectionism serves a fantasy for the audience (attributed at moderate confidence)
The film is a deconstruction of Nicholson's persona and aged better than It's Complicated (speaker uncertain)
Humor: Fast riffing and bits (Keanu impression, Transformers totems), plus running gags about Brenton Thwaites and National Treasure 3.
In their words
“Interesting bringing that up because I'm going to actually draw a big national treasure parallel in this episode to something that's got to give.” (0:11:12)
“And I feel like Nancy is like a souffle filmmaker” (1:33:22)
Loves high-concept, big-swing filmmaking and sees deep emotion in the fights of CTHD; adores sword-and-flight spectacle, dumb-sweet characters like Inspector Tsai, and Lady Bird comparisons. Can't stand Brett Ratner and tired-looking Marvel fights; a sucker for bit-heavy tangents.
Stances
CTHD's fights carry story and character
US action movies are bad because they lack talent and time
Disliked CTHD at 11, later realized it is great
Humor: Escalating riffs and callbacks, crude and silly puns, voices.
In their words
“I was so literal minded where I was like, but they don't explain why they can fly.” (0:17:40)
“11 year old Griffin was laughing and like 29 year old Griffin was crying.” (1:00:34)
Loves The Ice Storm and defends Hulk-era Ang Lee; treats it as a sad Fantastic Four movie. Hates the see-the-ending-first structure in general. A sucker for Elliott Gould and comic-book metaphors.
Stances
Ice Storm is a masterpiece and the best Lee film not starring a Marvel hero
Fantastic Four deserves a sad, isolated, family movie
Dislikes in-media-res openings but accepts this one
Humor: Dry riffing, running bits, and confessional anecdotes about his own near-misses.
In their words
“He put his hand on my shoulder and he went, you're family.” (0:29:17)
“this movie does make me wish that he gotten the chance to make a sad, fantastic four movie.” (1:34:30)
Loves Bigelow's tension and iconography, and Curtis's grounded, empathetic underplaying. Dislikes Mother!'s lack of an anchor. A sucker for character actors and the way a movie's scenes hold the whole thing in micro.
Stances
Blue Steel is top-tier Bigelow and a rediscovery candidate
The movie is about gender and tension, and every scene plays differently if she were a man
Humor: Riffs on nicknames and bits, running gags like 'David and I' variations.
In their words
“My father's a professor at NYU, and he needed guest speakers, and so we talked about podcasting to his class.” (0:26:44)
Loves the film's loneliness and the hardcore Crowe-ness; he's a defender of this movie after rewatching, gives it A minus or B plus. Can't stand the way Cruz is shoved into a romance with no chemistry. A sucker for Kurt Russell, Jason Lee and a good bit.
Stances
Vanilla Sky is the loneliest movie ever made
Defends the movie after first seeing it two years ago on Netflix
Is going through a breakup and keeps working it into the episode
Humor: Self-lacerating, prop comedy and long running bits (sunglasses, catchphrases).
In their words
“It's the loneliest movie ever made.” (0:34:00)
“I'm going through a psychological free fall.” (0:00:55)
Attribution to Griffin versus David is low-confidence (no labels). One host loves Muppets and puppetry and rewatched this on video as a child; the same side loses patience over CGI special-edition changes and the Marcia Lucas theory. Likes conclusions and wrapped-up stories; can't stand Lucas's digital embellishments.
Stances
Special-edition CGI additions hurt Jedi most
Puppets and practical creatures are the movie's strength
Lucas is a sympathetic, wounded figure
Humor: Escalating comic fury, bits about the Empire as a workplace comedy and Santa-hat table dressing.
In their words
“I fucking love Muppets, as you know.” (0:09:53)
“I think the puppetry's so good.” (0:57:07)
Their shows' recurring bits
Running bits, not opinions; a critic read aloud is cited, not present.
The Big Picture
Drafts: Hosts and guests draft films in rounds; every pick is a recommendation with an argument.
Hall of Fame: A star's or director's best, ranked and argued.
Countdowns: Ranked lists, top five or top ten.
Blank Check with Griffin & David
The box office game: Guessing the film's opening weekend and what it was up against.
The sung theme: "Blank Check with Griffin and David", sung; the transcriber garbles it.
Their claims
Showing 801–900 of 1,162 claims.
craft (craft):
Old Dogs → Chariots of Fire.
The pioneer-weekend games use the Chariots of Fire theme as a gag for audiences who know it.
lineage (lineage):
Old Dogs → Moonrise Kingdom.
A host jokes that Moonrise Kingdom, three years later, is what made scouts cool, after the Old Dogs scout weekend.
“So you're saying Moonrise Kingdom made scouts cooling?”
theme (theme):
Old Dogs → Friday the 13th (parts 1-3).
The kids' Friday the 13th rule joke pays off in the film: they watch part three because Jason does not wear the mask until then.
“But this is not parts one or two because Jason doesn't wear the mask till three.”
programming (programming):
Old Dogs → Tangled.
Disney released Tangled the next year on the same Thanksgiving weekend, which became its animated slot (Frozen, Moana).
“A year later, they released Tangled the same weekend, and then this becomes the weekend they released their biggest animated film of the year.”
programming (programming):
Old Dogs → The Twilight Saga: New Moon.
Old Dogs opened fourth, behind New Moon in its second week, The Blind Side and 2012.
people (people):
A Christmas Carol → Robert Zemeckis.
The box office quiz answer, a 2009 holiday film in a director miniseries, is Zemeckis' A Christmas Carol.
lineage (lineage):
The Batman → Batman Forever / Batman & Robin.
Griffin says Schumacher's Batman films are directly shaped by the Adam West show's pairing and cliffhanger style.
“Joel Schumacher is very influenced by the Adam West show.”
lineage (lineage):
The Dark Knight Rises → Tim Drake.
Nolan's Robin take is basically Tim Drake, and a speaker wishes it had been 10 percent more obvious.
“And I wish Nolan had just gone 10%, you know, more obvious with it.”
contrast (contrast):
The Batman → Spider-Man (franchise).
Spider-Man has the second-best rogues gallery but its villains read as criminals with a gimmick, while Batman villains are insane.
lineage (lineage):
The Batman → Batman Forever.
Burton had a plane and a boat which Schumacher updated in Batman Forever; Batman & Robin gave Robin a motorcycle.
programming (programming):
The Batman → The Sound of Music.
A UK sing-along Sound of Music (Prince Charles Theater) turned into a Rocky Horror-style costume event.
industry (industry):
Summit Entertainment → Bill Condon.
Summit met Bill Condon, Gus Van Sant and Sofia Coppola to tackle the last two films (Breaking Dawn split in two); Condon got the job.
“the 3 people Summit met with to tackle the last 2 movies, the one book split into two, were Bill Condon”
craft (craft):
The Twilight Saga: Eclipse → The Twilight Saga: New Moon.
Eclipse was shot by Javier Aguirresarobe, who also shot New Moon, and the speakers find Eclipse similar-looking to New Moon, only more lush and autumnal.
“Uh, Javier, Agriaska Robe. I, you know, I, I, who shot New Moon.”
programming (programming):
John Carpenter → Danny DeVito.
Carpenter win means 18 weeks of scheduling; DeVito means about 6 weeks, leaving room for more miniseries.
“Some people want someone like Carpenter to win so they can control 18 weeks of our scheduling.”
lineage (lineage):
Alien: Covenant → Prometheus.
Covenant is half the Prometheus sequel Scott wanted and half a concession to a more normal Alien movie.
“this is half, like Ridley Scott doing the Prometheus sequel he wanted to do and half”
industry (industry):
Alien: Covenant → Prometheus.
Prometheus's marketing left it unclear whether it was an Alien film; Covenant's marketing was the opposite, selling the Alien iconography.
“how much of this is going to be directly an alien franchise film or not”
contrast (contrast):
Alien: Covenant → Alien.
Alien films usually give a calm before the storm in hypersleep; Covenant throws you straight into trauma.
“rather than ever getting the sort of calm before the storm that you usually get an alien movies”
career (career):
Danny McBride → Halloween (franchise).
After this he moved into the Halloween franchise and HBO series to make the genre work he wanted.
“And then after this, he's like, I'm the Halloween guy.”
craft (craft):
Alien: Covenant → The Lord of the Rings.
New Zealand locations can't replicate what Peter Jackson did with it in Lord of the Rings, but still look like a newer earth.
“you can never replicate the total stunning magic trick of Peter Jackson, like deploying it in Lord of the Rings”
contrast (contrast):
Alien: Covenant → H.R. Giger.
The neomorph in Covenant lacks the Giger biomechanical kibble, with a more human, translucent-skinned look.
“He does not have all of the HR Geiger biomechanical kibble all over his body.”
craft (craft):
Alien: Covenant → The Hobbit films.
Acting to tennis balls on a green screen was exhausting for The Tick, and people say it was easy because of the Hobbit movies.
“they do this shit with like the Hobbit movies, right?”
programming (programming):
Crocodile Dundee → Crocodile Dundee II.
Next Patreon miniseries: the three Crocodile Dundee films, skipping a made-up Great Mr. Dundee.
career (career):
Jean-Pierre Jeunet → Delicatessen.
Griffin was shown Delicatessen and City of Lost Children by his French mother before Resurrection let him down.
“She had absolutely made me watch, uh, Delicatessen and City of Lost Children at this point”
programming (programming):
The Hunchback of Notre Dame → Lon Chaney.
Griffin pitches a Patreon series doing all the Hunchback of Notre Dame movies, including the Lon Chaney version.
fun, about
The Power of Grayskull (documentary):
A good documentary on how the He-Man toy line was made, home of the viral clip about painting the cat green.
“Power of Grayskull, which is a really good documentary about how the toy line was made”
fun, about
Orko / Griffin Newman:
Griffin voiced Orko on a Kevin Smith-run He-Man show after a writer called to pick his brain in 2019 and then pitched him for the part; he calls it his hardest-won scale job.
“I ended up voicing Orco on a He-Man cartoon show, showrun by Kevin Smith”
fun, about
Big:
Rewatching Big, the fortune-teller machine arrives within ten minutes with zero backstory, the model for how fantasy used to skip setup.
“And he gets to the fortune teller machine within less than 10 minutes.”
fun, about
The Adventures of Raggedy Ann and Andy:
Richard Williams's nightmarish toy musical, watchable on YouTube; skip to the number 'Blue,' sung by a camel with four legs, for astonishing animation.
“There is a musical sequence in this uh, called Blue, uh, sung by a camel, uh, with 4 legs”
fun, about
RoboCop (2014) - the mirror scene:
The one scene the host likes: Murphy is stripped down to his lungs, brain and one hand and made to look in a mirror, called the Cronenberg moment.
“And then this is like the Cronenberg moment of this film.”
fun, about
Griffin's bootleg RoboCop toy:
Griffin pulls out a true bootleg RoboCop toy from his shelves, blue and silver with misapplied paint, which still looks better than the movie.
“But somehow still looks better than what we're watching, right?”
fun, about
Pizza analogy:
The hosts rank the RoboCops as pizza: the original is the best pizza ever, 2 is cafeteria pizza, 3 is Lunchables pizza, and this one is a picture of pizza stomped on.
“Robocop one is like the best pizza you've ever had.”
fun, about
RoboCop (2014) - budget and box office:
Budget estimated between $100 and $130 million; opened third at $21 million, made $58 million domestic, $242 million worldwide.
fun, about
Tom Cruise:
Cruise is the 'guy pretending to be Tom Cruise' for the first ten minutes: the movie strips the persona and makes him earn trust back.
fun, about
Mr. & Mrs. Smith:
On Mr. & Mrs. Smith the agency heads were cast three times; none of the actors ended up in the film, only Angela Bassett's voice.
fun, about
Edge of Tomorrow:
The title fight: announced as All You Need Is Kill, retitled with 'Live Die Repeat' as a tagline on a badly laid out poster; on home video they flipped them.
“they flipped them because their takeaway from the confusion was”
fun, about
Noah Taylor:
Taylor and Brendan Gleeson never leave their one set, avoid the suits and stunts, and get mini arcs; the hosts call it a princess part, a theater term for one big featured number.
fun, about
Doug Liman:
Hosts call the Liman method 'Limania': chaos production that sometimes comes out masterful, compared to a watchmaker tied upside-down in a crashing plane.
fun, about
Edge of Tomorrow:
The practical exosuits weighed 80 to 100 pounds; Liman called making them practical the stupidest thing they did, yet they look great.
“the stupidest thing we ever did was make those practical”
fun, about
Emily Blunt:
Blunt's Smartlist story: she cried the first time in the suit and Cruise said 'come on, stop being a pussy'; it was a joke and went viral.
fun, about
Pat Kiernan:
The New York One anchor in the opening news montage has a huge film-credit list; the hosts joke he must get a check every month.
“Pat Kieran's got like 40 of the biggest film credits of all time.”
fun, about
Griffin Newman:
Origin story of his comedy: after rollerblade camp bullying, he Photoshopped meme flyers and posted them in the locker room.
fun, about
Eraserhead:
The chicken-carving scene: the host says the movie heightens ordinary dinner discomfort by 10 percent; Griffin is not an egg fan.
fun, about
David Fincher:
Griffin's Letterboxd one-liner: the film is Fincher's nightmare of being allowed only one take, and the missed shot is the nightmare.
“a psychological horror film about David Fincher imagining a reality where he's only allowed one take.”
fun, about
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo:
On the commentary, Fincher tells how the bottle-catch and the cat landing in frame was a perfect take, and he did two more anyway, a self-parody of his many takes.
fun, about
20,000 Leagues Under the Sea:
Fincher wanted a blockbuster as dark as Empire Strikes Back; Disney would only greenlight it with Brad Pitt or a peer.
“I wanted to see if there was a way to make a blockbuster that's that dark.”
fun, about
John Getz:
The cold open riffs on John Getz, the Blood Simple lead, spending decades in movies looking exasperated at a Zuckerberg who is not there.
“For 20, 30 years, he was in movies looking at Mark Zuckerberg exasperated and people said, John, this doesn't read.”
fun, about
The Social Network:
Auditions were other Sorkin scenes, because Fincher needed to see if people could do the pace; Eisenberg's self-tape was the first time he said under two hours.
“I pointedly remember that the they sent the script out, but for the auditions, it was just other Sorkin scenes.”
fun, about
David Fincher:
Why a hundred takes: Fincher says the surprising little things only come out after the lines are routine; the Erica line appeared in a single take.
“And Fincher's like, that's like the kind of fucking moment I'm looking for, which he only does on one take.”
fun, about
The Social Network:
The title card shot over Boston is about fifteen separate shots tiled together, each lit individually, because Harvard would not cooperate.
“But like that shot's basically constructed of like 15 shots that they visually all tiled together and had to be lit individually, not by the cart.”
fun, about
The Social Network:
A mime carrying the lights kept cops busy: they will stop a crew guy at once but not a mime.
“If it's a truck, if it's a crew guy, they'll stop without like any hesitation. If it's a mine, they're going to be so confused about what's going on.”
fun, about
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button:
The teaser made the audience go silent at Crystal Skull; the speakers say the trailer is a better version of what the movie does.
“2 great fucking teasers that have such a different tone than everything else that was playing that the audience just went pin drop silent.”
fun, about
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button:
The film's clock prologue tested badly until the film grain and crackles were added late in post, after which audiences accepted it as a story being told.
“we added all the filters of the film grain and the pops and the crackles and the distortion and whatever.”
fun, about
Lords of Dogtown:
Fincher's budget ask for Lords of Dogtown was fifteen million to rebuild the pier at full scale, which got him pushed off.
fun, about
Zodiac:
Graysmith claimed the killer could mount a flashlight on his gun; Fincher went to a flashlight museum, learned no 1969 bulb could do it, and so the film shows no such beam.
fun, about
Jake Gyllenhaal:
Zodiac shot through the Brokeback Mountain awards season, and Fincher would not release him for events; Fincher says he was distracted.
fun, about
Jake Gyllenhaal:
On the making-of, Gyllenhaal asks Fincher to confirm he is good at inserts after dozens of takes of his hands scribbling; Fincher teases, then agrees.
fun, about
Robert Downey Jr.:
Downey's Oppenheimer press-tour story: after 60 takes, Fincher made him watch the footage on the monitor and Downey had to admit it was not right.
“And he made him watch all the takes on the monitor.”
fun, about
Robert Graysmith:
A friend's ink review from an art store sounded too specific to be anyone but Graysmith; Griffin reads it at the very end.
“too weirdly specific to not be written by the real Robert Graysmith.”
fun, about
Janie's Got a Gun (Aerosmith video):
Steven Tyler flashed the shocker on his forehead in Disney's Rock and Roller Coaster pre-show until Disney digitally painted the finger out.
“And they digitally paint it in the remaining finger.”
fun, about
Earl (dog):
Earl, Brendan Hines's dog, is the first in-studio dog guest in Blank Check history, and it is his seventh birthday. Brendan says Earl came to set every day on The Tick and never ruined a take.
“The 1st ever in studio, dog, guest, in the history of blank check.”
fun, about
Charles Martinet:
The father in the opening home-movie footage is Charles Martinet, the voice of Mario. He once taught typing as Mario at a 1994 tech convention.
fun, about
The Game:
The original ending had Nick shoot the waitress and then kill himself; Fincher said he would feel remorse for shooting someone who tricked him, so he changed it.
“So what I had read was that the original ending was the same thing, but he shoots Deborah Carra Unger.”
fun, about
The Game:
The Criterion disc includes a one-take alternate ending, from the clapboard to Fincher saying cut, where he looks both ways and walks off without a cab.
fun, about
Alien 3:
The alien-sucks-down-a-Pepsi commercial aired a full year before the movie; the suit was built for the film, and Fox was pushing Alien toward a kids' franchise (cartoon, toys, games).
“That commercial came out a full year before this movie came out.”
fun, about
Sigourney Weaver:
She was eight months pregnant when the Newt dummy was made, so they measured only her head and shoulders; she made the film six months after her first child was born.
“When they made the dummy, Sigourney was like 8 months pregnant.”