Reads the dossier and loves Kubrick's behind-the-scenes fights and the Harris partnership. Loves noir, character actors like Timothy Carey and Elisha Cook, and a good gimmick structure. Can't stand puns on a movie's title and is hard on bloated studio epics.
Stances
The Killing is Kubrick's first film he respects
Kubrick's control hardens after the Harris years
Bed of Fear is a worse title than The Killing
Humor: Deadpan riffs and bits about invented writers' rooms and Fox execs, plus affection for the bit that goes one step too far.
In their words
“I love how much this movie comes out of Kubrick's chess life in multiple ways.” (0:09:39)
“Because people hate puns.” (1:06:50)
“I just like imagining whoever the Fox exec was who was like, hey, Frank” (0:15:04)
Admires Kubrick more than he loves the films, though he loves The Shining and counts Eyes Wide Shut as a favorite; has never seen Barry Lyndon or Spartacus. Loves rough, process-visible first films and tactile photography. Skeptical of war films and of overlong thin plots.
Stances
Fear and Desire is not a good movie and should be shorter
The Killing and Killer's Kiss show Kubrick's rapid growth
Mythology around Kubrick is inflated by his silence
Humor: Rapid, profane riffs and movie-trivia bits that spiral into digressions.
In their words
“I've always admired him a lot more than I love his movies.” (0:11:35)
“This movie is interesting because he doesn't, really.” (0:36:52)
Griffin loves Lego Batman as the definitive Batman movie, Lego bricks, and animation limits that are exploited rather than hidden. He admires clever craft decisions (the shoulder-dislocation trick, the flame pieces) and sincere sentiment. He is a sucker for toy lore and trivia. He thinks the IP-cameo mashup is the film's one valid flaw.
Stances
Lego Batman is the best Batman movie, with the most complete understanding of the character
Robin works best as a contrast point, not a dark mirror of Batman
Limits (Lego rules, stop-motion look) produce better art
The Lego Movie is still the pinnacle
Humor: Rapid, pop-literate riffing and trivia dumps, plus running jokes about David's daughter and his Lego desires.
In their words
“I think this is the best Batman movie period.” (0:01:10)
“Lego movie is still the pinnacle for me, though.” (1:38:30)
Griffin runs the screening and knows the film cold, down to Becker's DVD commentary. He loves a film of stunning chaos and star-driven studio excess, and gets a kick out of continuity breakdowns and impossible geography. He pauses constantly to underline plot logic.
Stances
Old Dogs is demented but made by experienced professionals
Becker is a studio-comedy auteur of illogic
Pauses the film to explain what just happened
Humor: Deadpan lawyerly narration of absurd plot points, with the audience reacting.
In their words
“This is the most demented movie ever made.” (0:09:39)
“Now, as I press play again, I want you to take note of, there being zero puppets on stage.” (1:18:04)
Loves the self-aware comedy of the Adam West show and the density of its gags, and recounts comics lore (Robin lineage, Damian Wayne) with relish. Can't stand lazy branding on villains like the Riddler's single question mark. A sucker for gadgets, vehicles and Conan-style shorthand humor.
Stances
The 1966 movie is better written comedy than its camp reputation
Robins and rogues galleries are the weak spots of the film franchise
Humor: Rapid bit-building on villain puns and impressions.
In their words
“By the way, this is a blank check special features. I'm Griffin.” (0:13:50)
“For 5 seconds, I think people thought Crisis on Infinite Earth was gonna tie in the tick universe.” (0:05:04)
Likes Roger Moore Bond and the Apes films as franchise building blocks, and enjoys the structure of the bracket. Not stated much beyond this in the audio. Enthusiastic about doing Psycho.
Stances
Defends Apes as the root of franchise storytelling
Humor: Plays straight man to the Chip Smith bit and riffs on Oscars production.
Newly converted to In the Cut from a 'morbid curiosity' first viewing with David; deeply knows New York geography and nightlife, since he lived on the Lower East Side. Likes Practical Magic and Mark Ruffalo's balanced career, and is skeptical of Unfaithful. (Speaker labels are inferred; the transcript has none.)
Stances
The film is uncomfortable even if most criticisms at the time were stupid
Humor: Riffs on the podcast's own name and contractual obligation, and chases movie-trivia tangents.
In their words
“with morbid curiosity more than anything else, you know?” (0:10:45)
“I lived on 2nd Avenue and 6th Street” (0:44:56)
“I don't understand why people were going David loves it.” (0:13:01)
Went in ready to reappreciate the franchise and loved the first two films (came out of midnight screenings thinking of them as giddy, teenage and emotionally charged). Hates movies where characters refuse to make decisions and the plot stalls for time, and dislikes the permanence/teen-marriage logic of the books. Suckers for a bold swing, such as the last film's big deviation, and for Slade's horror-genre scenes. Attribution is partly inferred from context (baby, steel book, signing off at 2:12) so confidence is moderate.
Stances
Eclipse is lifeless and rudderless after the first two
Slade only seems to like the bad-vampire scenes
Twilight fandom deserves respect against gatekeeping
Humor: Dry riffs and long shaggy-dog trivia, escalating bits like Burger King toys and hand stuff.
In their words
“Here's my take on this movie.” (1:57:03)
“I'm so pro-kissing.” (0:43:06)
“Target canceled my steel book order for the 5th time.” (0:10:57)
Loves Jane Campion, Martin Brest underdog crusades, and franchise chaos like Twilight. Mixed on Terrence Malick relative to peers. Wary of revisiting Her.
Stances
Brest is his favorite uphill cause
Wants to treat bracket decisions fairly
Revisiting Her feels risky
Humor: Self-aware grandstanding bits and absurd matchup-logic riffs.
In their words
“I think it has like an incel quality to it.” (0:29:36)
“I'm half kidding, but actually, I'm not kidding.” (0:25:50)
Loves the franchise's iconography and design and tracks toy merchandise; sucker for actors who commit to weirdness and for Alien-series trivia. Admires Ridley Scott's business sense and finds the CGI creature the least interesting stretch. Cannot stand being distracted by texters in a theater.
Stances
Covenant should have kept the Franco prologue
Scott is a company man who slips interesting things into blockbusters
Actor-swap effects are only impressive when objects pass between the doubles
Loved the first three Alien movies in 7th grade and felt a massive drop-off with Resurrection, but is won over by the practical effects, the wet sets and Sigourney Weaver. A collector who owns every Ripley action figure but one. Cannot stand the generic villain casting and is sentimental about French cinema through his mother.
Stances
Resurrection is fun for the first hour and bogs down when characters stop to talk
Sigourney Weaver rules; Winona Ryder is a bore here
The ending should have stayed with the alien nest instead of heading to Earth
Glad an Earth-set Alien never happened
Humor: Self-deprecating storyteller who spins long tangents and doubles down on bits.
In their words
“It was the thing I looked forward to in 7th grade that I got to watch another alien movie at the end of the week.” (0:04:54)
“I'm now feeling like I might have to go back on.” (0:30:27)
Loves the Alien series enough to have made a weeks-long VHS triple feature of it as a kid, and defends Alien 3. Hates it when studios replace classic logos. A sucker for toy lines, chains, and bits that run on wordplay.
Stances
Alien 3 earns its place in the franchise and is better than its reputation
Bringing Ripley back as a clone is worse than killing Hicks and Newt
Studios should not swap old logos for new ones
Humor: Escalating riffs and puns, with a big appetite for tangents about menu-board details like toys and trivia.
In their words
“I think it totally earns its place within the franchise.” (1:26:00)
“I think the tuba is the funniest of all instruments.” (0:08:31)
Loves Rogue Nation and McQuarrie's practical, analog Cruise films, and takes film history personally. Can't stand Pixels-type junk but is a sucker for odd actors, villain tracksuits and wardrobe jokes.
Stances
Rogue Nation is the best M:I film
Practical stunts and clarity of stakes make the best action
Humor: Stacks absurd bits and running gags such as Luther's hat and the thigh move.
In their words
“I auditioned like 5 times for screen four, including 4 Wes Craven” (2:22:37)
Loves digging through the Blu-ray extras and commentaries for a movie and reporting back. Fond of rom-com construction and the industry backstory of how a film got made. Grew up downtown, and his mother's anti-chain-store politics shaped how he saw this movie as a kid.
Stances
Ephron's films are quietly experimental rather than generic
Fighting chains and protecting small bookstores shaped his view of the film
Actors' craft stories (Kinnear's ending, the Lalo scene) are the heart of the movie
Humor: Self-deprecating, bit-driven; owns his fumbled bits on mic.
In their words
“I fucked up the bit that we were trying to do, which is I am confident in the fact that he lived in England and him being from the Upper West Side surprises me.” (0:25:05)
“my mom's entire life that she was bringing my brother and I into was all about, like, we have to fight like Banana Republic.” (0:22:33)
“Hanks was saying he was pulling his hair out and he couldn't make sense of the Lalo scene” (1:41:52)
Loves the box office game and can recall almost any weekend from release dates; has a childhood devotion to Snow Day, Chris Elliott and Vin Diesel. Researches the filmography (Keaton's directing career, IMDb trivia) and likes the idea of a movie being a family or sibling reference point. Hates cable-edited versions of films on streaming sites.
Stances
Hanging Up does not cohere; each actress seems to be in a different movie
The last 20 minutes with the sisters together is where the juice is
Mourns the loss of varied theatrical box office weekends
Cable-edited streaming versions are unacceptable
Humor: Mock-obsessive precision about trivia (taglines, grosses, release weekends) delivered with self-deprecation.
In their words
“It is the only thing that gives me grounding in my life.” (1:31:35)
“Well, now I'm telling you, you motherfuckers should be watching Snow Day.” (1:23:33)
“I still found it not as bad as watching Braveheart on Pluto.” (1:15:18)
“I wish this had been the entire movie.” (0:27:31)
He is ready to submit to a silly pop-up and treat the staff with respect, and he reads the movie's plot and cast aloud with relish. He plays along with the Quibi bit and loves a long gag.
Stances
Staff of the experience deserve credit
The film is less palatable than the experience
Humor: He builds long deadpan bits, such as the Downton Abbey cast working the Trolls pop-up.
In their words
“Let me go step by step, okay?” (0:12:32)
“Now, we, of course, did this in the correct order because” (0:08:43)
Loves puppetry and practical creature design (Jabba, Yoda, the rancor), the speeder chase, and Wicket the Ewok. Dislikes the special-edition CGI additions and the Max Rebo band number, and wants Han and Leia to have real jobs in the third act. A sucker for a gag that gets dragged across the whole commentary.
Stances
Jabba's palace is the favorite stretch of any Star Wars film
Han and Leia are sidelined after the Ewoks arrive
Lucas's special-edition changes are weak and goofy
He is hosting a final Star Wars farewell to the Big Nice room
Humor: Escalating callback bits and absurd impressions, undercutting his own sentimental turns.
In their words
“I just, I fucking love puppetry, David.” (0:46:55)
“This my least favorite thing that he did.” (0:15:45)
Loves chaos picks and big swings (Judi Dench in Cats, Rebecca Ferguson in Doctor Sleep), cats and Pain and Glory are tangled up in his head, and he champions Portrait/Parasite/Us. Skeptical of Toy Story 4 going in. A sucker for movie-star arrival performances and the Fast & Furious franchise.
Stances
Cats is a real favorite, 'A slash F'
Removed Farewell and Her Smell from his own consideration because of friendships
Best original/adapted screenplay should include genre swings like Glass
Humor: Self-deprecating, riffs on running bits (Forky, nicknames like Florence Candice LeBron Bergen Pugh) and escalating panic over the F9 trailer.
In their words
“Best comedic performance of 2019, Little Women.” (0:12:56)
“I'm genuinely having a panic attack waiting for this trailer, so I'm ending this episode right now.” (1:41:14)
Loves Endgame, can be talked around on Infinity War after a rewatch, adores comics history (Kirby, Fourth World), fan-casting games and Marvel trivia. Can't stand corporate killing-off-characters-as-meaning,, and actors' craft. A sucker for the Avengers theme and big crowd-pleasing hero moments.
Stances
Infinity War frustrated him in theaters but he came around after Endgame
Wants characters' deaths to carry real emotional follow-through
Joaquin Phoenix and Cumberbatch contrast shows how green screen needs trained actors
Doctor Strange has the worst jokes in Marvel
Humor: Rapid-fire riffing and bits, and self-aware pop-culture asides.
In their words
“I love Endgame.” (0:27:58)
“I was perfectly wrong.” (2:28:18)
Their shows' recurring bits
Running bits, not opinions; a critic read aloud is cited, not present.
The Big Picture
Drafts: Hosts and guests draft films in rounds; every pick is a recommendation with an argument.
Hall of Fame: A star's or director's best, ranked and argued.
Countdowns: Ranked lists, top five or top ten.
Blank Check with Griffin & David
The box office game: Guessing the film's opening weekend and what it was up against.
The sung theme: "Blank Check with Griffin and David", sung; the transcriber garbles it.
Their claims
Showing 801–900 of 1,162 claims.
craft (craft):
Old Dogs → Chariots of Fire.
The pioneer-weekend games use the Chariots of Fire theme as a gag for audiences who know it.
lineage (lineage):
Old Dogs → Moonrise Kingdom.
A host jokes that Moonrise Kingdom, three years later, is what made scouts cool, after the Old Dogs scout weekend.
“So you're saying Moonrise Kingdom made scouts cooling?”
theme (theme):
Old Dogs → Friday the 13th (parts 1-3).
The kids' Friday the 13th rule joke pays off in the film: they watch part three because Jason does not wear the mask until then.
“But this is not parts one or two because Jason doesn't wear the mask till three.”
programming (programming):
Old Dogs → Tangled.
Disney released Tangled the next year on the same Thanksgiving weekend, which became its animated slot (Frozen, Moana).
“A year later, they released Tangled the same weekend, and then this becomes the weekend they released their biggest animated film of the year.”
programming (programming):
Old Dogs → The Twilight Saga: New Moon.
Old Dogs opened fourth, behind New Moon in its second week, The Blind Side and 2012.
people (people):
A Christmas Carol → Robert Zemeckis.
The box office quiz answer, a 2009 holiday film in a director miniseries, is Zemeckis' A Christmas Carol.
lineage (lineage):
The Batman → Batman Forever / Batman & Robin.
Griffin says Schumacher's Batman films are directly shaped by the Adam West show's pairing and cliffhanger style.
“Joel Schumacher is very influenced by the Adam West show.”
lineage (lineage):
The Dark Knight Rises → Tim Drake.
Nolan's Robin take is basically Tim Drake, and a speaker wishes it had been 10 percent more obvious.
“And I wish Nolan had just gone 10%, you know, more obvious with it.”
contrast (contrast):
The Batman → Spider-Man (franchise).
Spider-Man has the second-best rogues gallery but its villains read as criminals with a gimmick, while Batman villains are insane.
lineage (lineage):
The Batman → Batman Forever.
Burton had a plane and a boat which Schumacher updated in Batman Forever; Batman & Robin gave Robin a motorcycle.
programming (programming):
The Batman → The Sound of Music.
A UK sing-along Sound of Music (Prince Charles Theater) turned into a Rocky Horror-style costume event.
industry (industry):
Summit Entertainment → Bill Condon.
Summit met Bill Condon, Gus Van Sant and Sofia Coppola to tackle the last two films (Breaking Dawn split in two); Condon got the job.
“the 3 people Summit met with to tackle the last 2 movies, the one book split into two, were Bill Condon”
craft (craft):
The Twilight Saga: Eclipse → The Twilight Saga: New Moon.
Eclipse was shot by Javier Aguirresarobe, who also shot New Moon, and the speakers find Eclipse similar-looking to New Moon, only more lush and autumnal.
“Uh, Javier, Agriaska Robe. I, you know, I, I, who shot New Moon.”
programming (programming):
John Carpenter → Danny DeVito.
Carpenter win means 18 weeks of scheduling; DeVito means about 6 weeks, leaving room for more miniseries.
“Some people want someone like Carpenter to win so they can control 18 weeks of our scheduling.”
lineage (lineage):
Alien: Covenant → Prometheus.
Covenant is half the Prometheus sequel Scott wanted and half a concession to a more normal Alien movie.
“this is half, like Ridley Scott doing the Prometheus sequel he wanted to do and half”
industry (industry):
Alien: Covenant → Prometheus.
Prometheus's marketing left it unclear whether it was an Alien film; Covenant's marketing was the opposite, selling the Alien iconography.
“how much of this is going to be directly an alien franchise film or not”
contrast (contrast):
Alien: Covenant → Alien.
Alien films usually give a calm before the storm in hypersleep; Covenant throws you straight into trauma.
“rather than ever getting the sort of calm before the storm that you usually get an alien movies”
career (career):
Danny McBride → Halloween (franchise).
After this he moved into the Halloween franchise and HBO series to make the genre work he wanted.
“And then after this, he's like, I'm the Halloween guy.”
craft (craft):
Alien: Covenant → The Lord of the Rings.
New Zealand locations can't replicate what Peter Jackson did with it in Lord of the Rings, but still look like a newer earth.
“you can never replicate the total stunning magic trick of Peter Jackson, like deploying it in Lord of the Rings”
contrast (contrast):
Alien: Covenant → H.R. Giger.
The neomorph in Covenant lacks the Giger biomechanical kibble, with a more human, translucent-skinned look.
“He does not have all of the HR Geiger biomechanical kibble all over his body.”
craft (craft):
Alien: Covenant → The Hobbit films.
Acting to tennis balls on a green screen was exhausting for The Tick, and people say it was easy because of the Hobbit movies.
“they do this shit with like the Hobbit movies, right?”
programming (programming):
Crocodile Dundee → Crocodile Dundee II.
Next Patreon miniseries: the three Crocodile Dundee films, skipping a made-up Great Mr. Dundee.
career (career):
Jean-Pierre Jeunet → Delicatessen.
Griffin was shown Delicatessen and City of Lost Children by his French mother before Resurrection let him down.
“She had absolutely made me watch, uh, Delicatessen and City of Lost Children at this point”
programming (programming):
The Hunchback of Notre Dame → Lon Chaney.
Griffin pitches a Patreon series doing all the Hunchback of Notre Dame movies, including the Lon Chaney version.
fun, about
David Fincher:
Told by the Paramount president that nobody would give him $400,000 for a first picture, Fincher answered with a joke about a 40-minute movie.
fun, about
Brian Glover:
The warden actor was a professional wrestler (the Red Devil, then Leon Arras the man from Paris) and the crew adored him on set.
fun, about
David Fincher:
In a behind-the-scenes clip on the Panic Room DVD, Fincher gives notes over the previs in real time, never waiting for it to finish.
“he is nonstop just going like, that needs to be 2 inches lower.”
fun, about
Joel Schumacher:
After Fincher showed him the cut, Schumacher said aiming high means disappointment, and that caring puts you at the mercy of people who don't.
“you put yourself in a position where they have more power than you because you care and they don't.”
fun, about
Alien 3:
A pricey makeup bald cap cost about $20 grand because re-cutting Weaver's hair would have cost about $40 grand; when they needed it again, they found it in a pile.
“So instead, they paid like 20 grand to make the world's most advanced makeup bald cap.”
fun, about
The Nightmare Before Christmas:
Hot Topic reclaimed the weird Disney movie: Disney did not want it, released it under Touchstone, and now Hot Topic mostly sells Disney merchandise.
fun, about
Michael McDowell:
Per a Caroline Thompson interview, McDowell delivered only the Elfman lyrics reformatted as a screenplay; she said he had 'snorted his salary'.
“She put it, quote, that he had snorted his salary”
fun, about
The Nightmare Before Christmas:
Development was backwards: Burton's poem, Elfman writing songs from story beats, then Thompson writing a script to fill the gaps; animation started before a script.
“But they are animating this movie before they have a script.”
fun, about
The Nightmare Before Christmas:
Title card shot with candy corn letters before Burton's name was added late; Selick says he understands it and will rue it until he dies.
“I understand it, and I will rue it until the day I die.”
fun, about
Chris Sarandon:
The speaking Jack may be the most enunciated performance in movie history; Elfman sings, Sarandon speaks, causing a lasting rift.
“this like caused a rift between Selleck and Elfman that like lasted for forever.”
fun, about
Vincent Price:
Vincent Price was recorded as Santa but had just lost his wife and it didn't work; Don Ameche was 'insanely grouchy'; James Earl Jones shouted 'you don't know me'.
fun, about
The Nightmare Before Christmas:
Griffin's mom would not let him see it in theaters, so he got toys first; a lighting-fixture store near his school sold only lamps and Nightmare toys.
“the only thing they sold aside from lamps was a nightmare before Christmas toys.”
fun, about
Mike Flanagan:
Flanagan wrote the bar scene before the script and sent it to King as proof of concept; a host jokes he slipped a $20 in the pages.
fun, about
Jacob Tremblay:
Flanagan quote read aloud: after the harrowing scene Tremblay hopped up, high-fived his dad and got a candy bar from craft services.
“And then Jacob just hopped up, brushed himself off, high-fived his dad, went and got a candy bar from craft services, and the rest of us couldn't even blink.”
fun, about
Full Metal Jacket:
The 3000 open video auditions produced a viral clip of a man at a Sears with a ladder saying hello Mr. Kubrick.
“This was an early case of letting people submit auditions through videotape, like having a pretty open audition because they needed young people and they got 3000 submissions.”
fun, about
R. Lee Ermey:
Legend: Kubrick saw a video of Ermey rattling off insults while being pelted with tennis balls and oranges, never breaking.
“There's like this legend that there's this video of Arli Ermy that Kubrick saw of him rattling off all these like insults and scream while being like pelted with tennis balls and oranges and never and never breaking.”
fun, about
Matthew Modine:
Modine's joke to Kubrick: Spielberg meets a bearded man in heaven who thinks he is Kubrick but is God, and Kubrick liked it.
fun, about
Stanley Kubrick:
Kubrick had his secretary bring him stacks of bestselling horror novels and she heard a book hit the wall every ten minutes until the day she heard nothing for two hours.
“every 10 minutes she'd hear a book hit the wall.”
fun, about
Stanley Kubrick:
On the phone, Kubrick told King the idea of a ghost is optimistic because it presupposes an afterlife, and answered King's question about hell with a flat denial.
fun, about
2001: A Space Odyssey:
Nolan's IMAX re-release was deliberately demastered to look yellowed and imperfect, how he remembered seeing it as a child.
fun, about
Stanley Kubrick:
Kubrick on why he did not want drugs to be the source of the film, as read from the dossier.
“I think that the illusion of oneness with the universe and absorption with the significance of every object in your environment and the pervasive aura of peace and contentment is not the ideal state for an artist.”
fun, about
Dr. Strangelove:
AFI's 100 Years 100 Laughs ranked Strangelove third, behind Tootsie and Some Like It Hot, and Blockbuster displayed the tapes together.
“I watched this because AFI in the year 2000 did their 100 years, 100 laughs”
fun, about
Saving Private Ryan:
Griffin avoided it his whole life, took six hours to finish for the podcast, loved it, owns it on steelbook, will never rewatch.
fun, about
The Killing:
A working title for the film was Bed of Fear, which sets Patton off on his Deathbed routine.
“But one of the titles, one of the working titles that apparently was close to happening for this movie, I don't know if you know this, was bed of fear.”
fun, about
Die Hard:
Sinatra's Detective rights gave him first refusal on follow-ups, so Fox had to offer Die Hard to him first; the speaker pictures the call.
“I just like imagining whoever the Fox exec was who was like, hey, Frank, I'm just calling so you can tell me to fuck off.”
fun, about
Timothy Carey:
His image from The Killing turns up on the Sgt. Pepper outtake photos behind George Harrison, though the speaker concedes it may not be the final cover.
“Sag had no cause projection, but apparently he's also in his image from the killing is on the Sergeant Pepper cover behind George Harrison.”
fun, about
The Killing:
Ben texts that if he were in a heist movie where people fuck it up, he would have pulled it off and ended on a tropical island.
“Anytime Ben watches a heist movie in which people fuck it up.”
fun, about
The Lego Batman Movie:
Griffin's thesis: the best narrative ever built around Batman, with the most complete understanding of him as a character.
“I think this is the best narrative that has ever been constructed around Batman”
fun, about
The Lego Batman Movie:
The villains list: Conan O'Brien as the Riddler, Mantzoukas as Scarecrow, Garfunkel and Oats as Poison Ivy and Clayface, Doug Benson as Bane.
fun, about
The Lego Batman Movie:
Watch the scene where Batman microwaves lobster Thermidor, types 20 minutes, and corrects himself; the hosts also like the lighting of the microwave.
“And then he types 20 and then he goes, not 20 minutes stupid.”