Actor-host with a deep interest in how TV pilots evolve and how Michael Mann's style bleeds into everything. Loves Thief best of Mann's work. Jokes about being unhireable and the Netflix job that vanished.
Stances
Thief is his top Mann film
Pilots that feel like complete little movies are best
Defends the guest Dana Stevens against Twitter critics
Humor: Self-deprecating, long bits about his own failed career and his mother's British ancestry.
In their words
“I think you were going to think my rankings are crazy.” (1:07:55)
Loves the original Planet of the Apes franchise and Tim Burton, and was a fan of the 2001 hype as a kid. Can't stand empty studio filmmaking with no point of view. A sucker for childhood fandom and memorabilia (action figures, Lisa Marie).
Stances
Burton's Apes is the first time a beloved director failed him
The makeup is the only thing worth praising
The film does not have a point of view
Humor: Self-deprecating nerd-confessional anecdotes and riffs on childhood devotion.
In their words
“I was like, peak Griff moving nerd fanaticism.” (0:16:56)
“I had all the action figures before the movie came out.” (0:18:01)
Appears to love specific film trivia and the New York of the film; teases about being downtown. Lines identified with him are low-confidence because the transcript has no speaker labels.
Stances
Recalls opening-weekend box office from memory
Lives and grew up near the film's downtown locations (inferred)
Humor: Dry bits and running gags; becomes 'Downtown Griffey Nooms' under the guest's teasing.
In their words
“I have a TV pair of glasses now.” (0:31:40)
“This is the game where I try to recall from memory the box office the weekend the movie open.” (1:57:23)
Blank Check with Griffin & David: Flesh+Blood (host)
Loves Verhoeven and says RoboCop, Toy Story 2 and Rushmore rank among his favorites. Worries about the Weinstein-era toxicity in this film. Fascinated by effects-driven classicism and by the Hauer/Verhoeven split.
Stances
Flesh+Blood is anthropological and fascinating but joyless
Verhoeven is a technical classicist smuggling extreme content into Hollywood form
Rooted for RoboCop being a favorite
Humor: Rambling bits, tangents and character voices.
In their words
“I have never been more excited to talk about a film on this podcast.” (1:38:03)
Seems to love practical Spielberg staging and sound design, character actors with great faces, and nostalgic picks like Harriet the Spy. Cannot stand lazy sequels with no story, CGI overuse and nostalgia-canonized movies. Is a sucker for merchandise history and a good Austin Powers rewatch.
Stances
Lost World has a plot but no story and is bottom five Spielberg
Spielberg fails when he directs with one arm behind his back
Jurassic World is far worse
Humor: Escalating riffs and running bits, including bad impressions, nicknames for the producer and self-deprecating Goldblum failure.
In their words
“I've never been able to get there.” (0:00:55)
“Spielberg, I think, always fails when he tries to direct with one arm behind his back.” (0:32:33)
Loves ambitious, misguided, disastrous failures and admits a near sexual fetish for them; gravitates toward films that are naked and transparent about their director's ego. Cannot stand being unable to follow exposition but still wants to rewatch. A sucker for Shyamalan trivia, mythology worldbuilding critique, and the film-about-filmmaking read.
Stances
Lady in the Water is bad but fascinating and he likes it a lot
Watchability is not linked to quality
The film is Shyamalan's defensive reaction to critics after The Village
Shyamalan films are crisis-of-faith movies about family
Humor: Runs elaborate recurring bits and segments (Burger Report, IMDb trivia corner, rewrite station, comedy points) and self-deprecating panic-attack anecdotes.
In their words
“I admit that I have a near sexual fetish for super ambitious misguided failures.” (1:36:00)
“I like this movie a lot.” (1:35:51)
“And so watchability is a thing that I don't link to quality.” (1:49:31)
An actor and comedian who loves Robert Downey Jr. (Ally McBeal, Bowfinger) and loves cataloguing credits, billing, and who produced what. Can't stand hacky, symbolic drama like The Judge or misjudged comedies like Wedding Crashers and Fred Claus. A sucker for Shanghai Noon, Due Date, and Dax Shepard's character.
Stances
The Judge is treacle with a Dobkin comedy brain stuck in a prestige drama
Downey needs a real director like PTA or Raimi to surprise audiences
Duvall phoning it in beats De Niro or Pacino phoning it in
Humor: Long riffing metaphors (the bar mitzvah, the bagel), bodily-fluid gags, and self-deprecating asides about the show's tiny audience.
In their words
“It feels like the way that 13 year old boys have to act during their bar mitzvah” (0:56:38)
“Overbagled.” (0:28:55)
“Now you're stuck with us talking about the judge.” (0:03:31)
A deep pop-culture archaeologist who loves He-Man (especially Orko), Henson fantasy, Toy Story, Barbie, and the Lego movies, and who voiced Orko himself. He is skeptical of masculine man-defends-his-castle fantasy and of defensive, self-embarrassed jokes. He is a sucker for the Hudsucker Proxy, odd animation like Raggedy Ann & Andy, and word-of-mouth box office oddities.
Stances
The film gets the metatextual framework right but only gets 60% there
Toy movies are mostly bad except those not driven by a product
He-Man himself is his least favorite part of He-Man
Orko was unforgivably withheld
Humor: Nerdy, rapid-fire trivia and self-aware jokes about his own obsessions and merchandise hoarding.
In their words
“I have way too much He-Man merchandise.” (0:37:20)
“He's what a child thinks they would be as a grown up if they got really buff and strong.” (0:31:53)
“It is a movie entirely about the hula hoop.” (1:34:41)
Griffin is a long-time Cameron enthusiast and sincere blockbuster fan, someone who watches trailers on loop and gets choked up by them. He loves a clean engineered story and defends Avatar's sincerity. He dislikes meta, smirky franchise filmmaking.
Stances
Avatar's clunky human dialogue is deliberate
Franchise filmmaking is in a crisis point
Cameron has earned the benefit of the doubt
Humor: Affable and self-deprecating, with long enthusiastic riffs.
In their words
“I'm beyond excited.” (1:41:16)
“I truly get like emotionally choked up watching these trailers” (1:41:52)
A RoboCop devotee with posters, a bust and a bootleg toy in the office, who loves the Verhoeven original and its satire. He can't stand humorless grounded remakes that cut the jokes and the visor. A sucker for baseball giveaways at Mets games and Easter eggs done right.
Stances
The remake is an F and worse than Ouija
Satire and humor are what make the original
A black suit with no detail is a failure
Robocop should be dumb and funny, not cool
Humor: Rants and elaborate analogies, like the pizza series, delivered with escalating mock fury.
In their words
“I'm just gonna come out and say this is an F.” (0:55:03)
“Robocop one is like the best pizza you've ever had.” (1:29:28)
Loves Edge of Tomorrow as a masterpiece and Cruise's turn toward weird, low-status roles; likes Oblivion and Looper-era Blunt; likes Liman's chaos when it works. Can't stand Liman's later films like Road House.
Stances
Edge is a five-star film that improves on repeat
This is Cruise's pivot to the McQuarrie era
Alien design here and in Arrival is rare in the 2010s
Humor: Rapid riffs and movie-industry gossip, often wrapping a joke around a bit of trivia.
In their words
“Edge of tomorrow is 5 stars.” (0:07:20)
“It is truly a movie that gets better every time you watch it.” (0:07:25)
Loves cult comedy and genre curiosities such as Perfect Dark, Nirvana the Band, and weird bracket ideas like Psycho with Bates Motel. Enthusiastic about Peter Weir, Welles, and Del Toro. Dislikes long filmographies as a rule and bad Robocop sequels.
Stances
Wants more Peter Weir and Orson Welles
Votes against the long boy in every matchup
Grudge: RoboCop 2 should never put the mask back on
Humor: Builds committed running bits (pitmaster, Chip Smith) and doubles down until the room breaks.
A Lynch fan who loves Eraserhead as a pure raw expression of an outsider and calls it a fully arrived masterpiece. Loves the bit-work of generating nicknames and sorting debut films into buckets. Can't stand eggs and gets queasy at the chicken-carving idea.
Stances
Eraserhead is a masterpiece debut
It is coherent and autobiographical, not impenetrable
Debut films fall into rough draft, masterpiece and a third bucket
Humor: Escalating riffs and mock-pompous bits about nicknames, with self-aware jabs at the show.
In their words
“And this is him just doing the pure raw expression version of basically the same idea.” (0:26:19)
“Holy shit, who the fuck is this guy fully arrived masterpiece.” (0:16:34)
Runs the show and the episode dossier, and loves production-disaster minutiae, alternate titles and what-if histories. A sucker for 90s studio chaos and podcast in-jokes (jelly trilogy, Forky). Frustrated by a movie that is dark and muddy and has no scary monsters.
Stances
Eaters of the Dead was the better title
The version worth making is a smaller, pulpier one
Defends Mank and is a Fincher-series completist who ranks Zodiac first; loves the autobiographical reading of The Killer (Fincher mocking his own control). A sucker for Tilda Swinton performances and for details like the Smiths playlist. Uncertain about the Soderbergh-style streaming deal.
Stances
The Killer is about filmmaking and Fincher's own process
Fincher's Netflix deal is a bad fit for streaming
Mank is a celebration of a cantankerous artist and a self-portrait
Humor: Absurdist riffs, Letterboxd one-liners, and long tangents about fast food.
In their words
“My letterbox type clip on the movie is a psychological horror film about David Fincher imagining a reality where he's only allowed one take.” (0:22:44)
“It's fucking Sidney Lumette's making movies.” (1:24:53)
Likes the Hearst scenes and the performances, but is less sold on the movie than David and Sean. Comes at it as a wounded theatrical-experience loser, upset he never saw it in a theater.
Stances
Wishes he'd seen it in a theater
Likes the movie less than David
Wants more Fincher Tuppence Middleton
Humor: Self-deprecating, tangent-prone, and loves puns like 'Mancrodosing'.
In their words
“I cannot stop thinking about how angry I am that I never got to see this in a theater.” (0:20:21)
“I'm circling the island.” (2:27:36)
“Mancrodosing. Five minutes of manca day.” (0:22:58)
Carries the Fincher-completist trivia (the unmade projects, the casting what-ifs) and is deep in the Affleck and Reese Witherspoon career talk. Likes a franchise that earns its box office, and says he is all in on the Equalizer films. Can't stand a lazy cable-movie career move, and has lost patience with TV coverage on the show.
Stances
Fincher's unmade projects (Star Wars, 20,000 Leagues) are as interesting as the films
Wants Equalizer 3 to reach $103 million
Mindhunter was an episode he and David did not want to cover, because TV multiplies the work
Humor: Runs dead-pan bits at length (the Quibby and Reese 'Fierce Queens' routine) and keeps count of the numbers.
In their words
“Star Wars, episode seven.” (0:25:36)
“The Equalizer one made $101 million domestically.” (2:53:28)
“Dave and I really didn't want to do this episode.” (3:03:23)
Loves Fincher, comfort rewatches, commentary tracks and the research dossier; admires Rooney Mara and the film's gentleness at the margins. Can't stand the Swedish films' flatness or the Spider's Web reboot. A sucker for a good casting story and a recurring bit.
Stances
Dismisses the Swedish films as mid
calls this a movie that improves on rewatch
defends Fincher's reshoots as worth it.
Humor: Runs bits to exhaustion (string cheese, Clint Eastwood railroading, strangling-each-other energy) and teases Ben.
In their words
“I saw it Christmas time, 2011.” (0:25:28)
“I've been trying to watch most of these movies with commentaries.” (1:10:15)
“I just remember when the trailer for this came out” (0:34:01)
Loves Sorkin's dialogue and Fincher's rigor, and is the host with an actor's view of auditions and sets. Dismissive of Facebook as an experience now. A sucker for behind-the-scenes lore and the Blu-ray extras.
Stances
The script's pace is the movie
Fincher's many takes freed the actors
Humor: Rambling, self-aware riffs and character-voice bits.
In their words
“I pointedly remember that the they sent the script out, but for the auditions, it was just other Sorkin scenes.” (0:52:46)
“So this script hits and like every single person on set is like, I'm just trying to get any fucking part in the sofa work.” (0:51:41)
Became a Fincher believer at Zodiac and was all in for Button on the strength of that and the teaser. Reads Button as a deliberate anti-Gump about death rather than a failed weepy. Likes the film's passivity and its refusal to give catharsis.
Stances
Button is pointedly an anti-Gump
the film is more Fincher than its reputation allows
the hospital framing is the real film
Humor: Rapid-fire impressions and callback bits, including the running seven-but-looks-older line.
In their words
“But I think it's almost like pointedly an anti-gump.” (0:22:50)
“Whatever this guy's next movie is, this is now I'm most anticipated movie.” (0:17:37)
Their shows' recurring bits
Running bits, not opinions; a critic read aloud is cited, not present.
The Big Picture
Drafts: Hosts and guests draft films in rounds; every pick is a recommendation with an argument.
Hall of Fame: A star's or director's best, ranked and argued.
Countdowns: Ranked lists, top five or top ten.
Blank Check with Griffin & David
The box office game: Guessing the film's opening weekend and what it was up against.
The sung theme: "Blank Check with Griffin and David", sung; the transcriber garbles it.
Their claims
Showing 801–900 of 1,162 claims.
craft (craft):
Old Dogs → Chariots of Fire.
The pioneer-weekend games use the Chariots of Fire theme as a gag for audiences who know it.
lineage (lineage):
Old Dogs → Moonrise Kingdom.
A host jokes that Moonrise Kingdom, three years later, is what made scouts cool, after the Old Dogs scout weekend.
“So you're saying Moonrise Kingdom made scouts cooling?”
theme (theme):
Old Dogs → Friday the 13th (parts 1-3).
The kids' Friday the 13th rule joke pays off in the film: they watch part three because Jason does not wear the mask until then.
“But this is not parts one or two because Jason doesn't wear the mask till three.”
programming (programming):
Old Dogs → Tangled.
Disney released Tangled the next year on the same Thanksgiving weekend, which became its animated slot (Frozen, Moana).
“A year later, they released Tangled the same weekend, and then this becomes the weekend they released their biggest animated film of the year.”
programming (programming):
Old Dogs → The Twilight Saga: New Moon.
Old Dogs opened fourth, behind New Moon in its second week, The Blind Side and 2012.
people (people):
A Christmas Carol → Robert Zemeckis.
The box office quiz answer, a 2009 holiday film in a director miniseries, is Zemeckis' A Christmas Carol.
lineage (lineage):
The Batman → Batman Forever / Batman & Robin.
Griffin says Schumacher's Batman films are directly shaped by the Adam West show's pairing and cliffhanger style.
“Joel Schumacher is very influenced by the Adam West show.”
lineage (lineage):
The Dark Knight Rises → Tim Drake.
Nolan's Robin take is basically Tim Drake, and a speaker wishes it had been 10 percent more obvious.
“And I wish Nolan had just gone 10%, you know, more obvious with it.”
contrast (contrast):
The Batman → Spider-Man (franchise).
Spider-Man has the second-best rogues gallery but its villains read as criminals with a gimmick, while Batman villains are insane.
lineage (lineage):
The Batman → Batman Forever.
Burton had a plane and a boat which Schumacher updated in Batman Forever; Batman & Robin gave Robin a motorcycle.
programming (programming):
The Batman → The Sound of Music.
A UK sing-along Sound of Music (Prince Charles Theater) turned into a Rocky Horror-style costume event.
industry (industry):
Summit Entertainment → Bill Condon.
Summit met Bill Condon, Gus Van Sant and Sofia Coppola to tackle the last two films (Breaking Dawn split in two); Condon got the job.
“the 3 people Summit met with to tackle the last 2 movies, the one book split into two, were Bill Condon”
craft (craft):
The Twilight Saga: Eclipse → The Twilight Saga: New Moon.
Eclipse was shot by Javier Aguirresarobe, who also shot New Moon, and the speakers find Eclipse similar-looking to New Moon, only more lush and autumnal.
“Uh, Javier, Agriaska Robe. I, you know, I, I, who shot New Moon.”
programming (programming):
John Carpenter → Danny DeVito.
Carpenter win means 18 weeks of scheduling; DeVito means about 6 weeks, leaving room for more miniseries.
“Some people want someone like Carpenter to win so they can control 18 weeks of our scheduling.”
lineage (lineage):
Alien: Covenant → Prometheus.
Covenant is half the Prometheus sequel Scott wanted and half a concession to a more normal Alien movie.
“this is half, like Ridley Scott doing the Prometheus sequel he wanted to do and half”
industry (industry):
Alien: Covenant → Prometheus.
Prometheus's marketing left it unclear whether it was an Alien film; Covenant's marketing was the opposite, selling the Alien iconography.
“how much of this is going to be directly an alien franchise film or not”
contrast (contrast):
Alien: Covenant → Alien.
Alien films usually give a calm before the storm in hypersleep; Covenant throws you straight into trauma.
“rather than ever getting the sort of calm before the storm that you usually get an alien movies”
career (career):
Danny McBride → Halloween (franchise).
After this he moved into the Halloween franchise and HBO series to make the genre work he wanted.
“And then after this, he's like, I'm the Halloween guy.”
craft (craft):
Alien: Covenant → The Lord of the Rings.
New Zealand locations can't replicate what Peter Jackson did with it in Lord of the Rings, but still look like a newer earth.
“you can never replicate the total stunning magic trick of Peter Jackson, like deploying it in Lord of the Rings”
contrast (contrast):
Alien: Covenant → H.R. Giger.
The neomorph in Covenant lacks the Giger biomechanical kibble, with a more human, translucent-skinned look.
“He does not have all of the HR Geiger biomechanical kibble all over his body.”
craft (craft):
Alien: Covenant → The Hobbit films.
Acting to tennis balls on a green screen was exhausting for The Tick, and people say it was easy because of the Hobbit movies.
“they do this shit with like the Hobbit movies, right?”
programming (programming):
Crocodile Dundee → Crocodile Dundee II.
Next Patreon miniseries: the three Crocodile Dundee films, skipping a made-up Great Mr. Dundee.
career (career):
Jean-Pierre Jeunet → Delicatessen.
Griffin was shown Delicatessen and City of Lost Children by his French mother before Resurrection let him down.
“She had absolutely made me watch, uh, Delicatessen and City of Lost Children at this point”
programming (programming):
The Hunchback of Notre Dame → Lon Chaney.
Griffin pitches a Patreon series doing all the Hunchback of Notre Dame movies, including the Lon Chaney version.
fun, about
The Lego Batman Movie:
Robin has not figured out Batman and Bruce Wayne are the same person: Bruce Wayne lives in Batman's attic, and Batman says Bruce told him it's okay to hang out.
“he has to be like, uh, Bruce told me it's okay for you to hang out with me.”
fun, about
The Lego Batman Movie:
Animators keep the Lego limits: arms rotate and swing but never bend, though shoulders may dislocate to cross the chest.
“but they'll let the entire arm sort of like remove from the body and turn inwards.”
fun, about
Lego (company):
Lego ruled the 90s by building its own mythologies each year, with Johnny Thunder as its Indiana Jones hero, before the 1999 Star Wars deal.
“There's Johnny Thunder, who is their attempt to create like an Indiana Jones style hero”
fun, about
The Lego Batman Movie:
A listener built Lego versions of the hosts; the builder, Dave Colletta, became a top contestant on Lego Masters, which Arnett hosts.
“And the guy who built the figures of us became like one of the best contestants on this fucking show.”
fun, about
The Lego Batman Movie:
Phantom Zone includes Sauron as a talking tower, Voldemort turning people to fish, the Wicked Witch, a Gremlin crew, and a Creature from the Black Lagoon.
fun, about
The Lego Batman Movie:
Griffin argues the movie is a flawed pick for David because the IP cameos are shallow; the villains get little screen time.
fun, about
Doctor Who:
Griffin explains a Dalek: it's a garbage can with a plunger because, per him, an arm went missing and a bathroom plunger replaced it.
“they were missing an arm and they took a plunger out of the bathroom.”
fun, about
Old Dogs:
After Justin Long's scout troop shoots a statue's head off, they burn it down and get kicked out.
“After shooting the head off the statue, they stayed there long enough for the sun to go down to light the whole thing on fire, and then they were kicked out.”
fun, about
Griffin Newman:
Griffin's Supergirl bit: Burt Ward and other legends in the opening credits made viewers think Crisis would tie in The Tick.
“For 5 seconds, I think people thought Crisis on Infinite Earth was gonna tie in the tick universe.”
fun, about
Adam West and Frank Gorshin:
The legend that West and Gorshin went to a Hollywood orgy in character and were expelled for doing too many bits.
fun, about
Alien: Covenant:
The Franco footage cooks him alive and Griffin says the 10-second prologue would have made the film's emotional start stronger.
“you kind of really benefit from seeing him for 10 seconds alive, you know?”
fun, about
Danny McBride:
McBride went to film school wanting to write and direct, was cast in friends' films, never auditioned, and said Covenant was what he always wanted to do.
fun, about
The Tick:
Griffin recounts his hardest technical acting scene: Dr. Karamazov shrunk, shot against tennis balls on sticks then redone from his own recorded dialogue.
“the single most challenging thing I've ever had to do as an actor on a technical level is”
fun, about
Alien: Covenant:
Merchandise for the movie showed an earlier, practical-looking xenomorph design before the creature was redone in CGI late in production.
“All of the merchandise for this movie had an incorrect xenomorph design.”
fun, about
Alien Quadrilogy:
The 2003 DVD box set that David calls a word hardly used outside that box; Resurrection got a special edition about seven minutes longer.
“Quadrilogy, a word that has rarely been used outside of that one box.”
fun, about
You've Got Mail:
The fall leaves in the movie are CGI because they shot in the summer, per the commentary track by Ephron and Schuler Donner.
“They're like, all of the fall stuff is CGI, baby.”
fun, about
Dave Chappelle:
Chappelle delivers the odd line 'she has the same coloring as' that was written for an older Eastern European actor in the original.
“if you look up the actor who played the best friend role and shop around the corner, it's like an older Eastern European man with a mustache.”
fun, about
Tom Hanks:
The script supervisor fixed Hanks's block on the Lalo scene: he stays because he is trying to build the courage to say it is him.
“Your motivation, this scene, is you think if you stay longer, you'll finally build the courage to say it.”