Reads the dossier and loves Kubrick's behind-the-scenes fights and the Harris partnership. Loves noir, character actors like Timothy Carey and Elisha Cook, and a good gimmick structure. Can't stand puns on a movie's title and is hard on bloated studio epics.
Stances
The Killing is Kubrick's first film he respects
Kubrick's control hardens after the Harris years
Bed of Fear is a worse title than The Killing
Humor: Deadpan riffs and bits about invented writers' rooms and Fox execs, plus affection for the bit that goes one step too far.
In their words
“I love how much this movie comes out of Kubrick's chess life in multiple ways.” (0:09:39)
“Because people hate puns.” (1:06:50)
“I just like imagining whoever the Fox exec was who was like, hey, Frank” (0:15:04)
Admires Kubrick more than he loves the films, though he loves The Shining and counts Eyes Wide Shut as a favorite; has never seen Barry Lyndon or Spartacus. Loves rough, process-visible first films and tactile photography. Skeptical of war films and of overlong thin plots.
Stances
Fear and Desire is not a good movie and should be shorter
The Killing and Killer's Kiss show Kubrick's rapid growth
Mythology around Kubrick is inflated by his silence
Humor: Rapid, profane riffs and movie-trivia bits that spiral into digressions.
In their words
“I've always admired him a lot more than I love his movies.” (0:11:35)
“This movie is interesting because he doesn't, really.” (0:36:52)
Griffin loves Lego Batman as the definitive Batman movie, Lego bricks, and animation limits that are exploited rather than hidden. He admires clever craft decisions (the shoulder-dislocation trick, the flame pieces) and sincere sentiment. He is a sucker for toy lore and trivia. He thinks the IP-cameo mashup is the film's one valid flaw.
Stances
Lego Batman is the best Batman movie, with the most complete understanding of the character
Robin works best as a contrast point, not a dark mirror of Batman
Limits (Lego rules, stop-motion look) produce better art
The Lego Movie is still the pinnacle
Humor: Rapid, pop-literate riffing and trivia dumps, plus running jokes about David's daughter and his Lego desires.
In their words
“I think this is the best Batman movie period.” (0:01:10)
“Lego movie is still the pinnacle for me, though.” (1:38:30)
Griffin runs the screening and knows the film cold, down to Becker's DVD commentary. He loves a film of stunning chaos and star-driven studio excess, and gets a kick out of continuity breakdowns and impossible geography. He pauses constantly to underline plot logic.
Stances
Old Dogs is demented but made by experienced professionals
Becker is a studio-comedy auteur of illogic
Pauses the film to explain what just happened
Humor: Deadpan lawyerly narration of absurd plot points, with the audience reacting.
In their words
“This is the most demented movie ever made.” (0:09:39)
“Now, as I press play again, I want you to take note of, there being zero puppets on stage.” (1:18:04)
Loves the self-aware comedy of the Adam West show and the density of its gags, and recounts comics lore (Robin lineage, Damian Wayne) with relish. Can't stand lazy branding on villains like the Riddler's single question mark. A sucker for gadgets, vehicles and Conan-style shorthand humor.
Stances
The 1966 movie is better written comedy than its camp reputation
Robins and rogues galleries are the weak spots of the film franchise
Humor: Rapid bit-building on villain puns and impressions.
In their words
“By the way, this is a blank check special features. I'm Griffin.” (0:13:50)
“For 5 seconds, I think people thought Crisis on Infinite Earth was gonna tie in the tick universe.” (0:05:04)
Likes Roger Moore Bond and the Apes films as franchise building blocks, and enjoys the structure of the bracket. Not stated much beyond this in the audio. Enthusiastic about doing Psycho.
Stances
Defends Apes as the root of franchise storytelling
Humor: Plays straight man to the Chip Smith bit and riffs on Oscars production.
Newly converted to In the Cut from a 'morbid curiosity' first viewing with David; deeply knows New York geography and nightlife, since he lived on the Lower East Side. Likes Practical Magic and Mark Ruffalo's balanced career, and is skeptical of Unfaithful. (Speaker labels are inferred; the transcript has none.)
Stances
The film is uncomfortable even if most criticisms at the time were stupid
Humor: Riffs on the podcast's own name and contractual obligation, and chases movie-trivia tangents.
In their words
“with morbid curiosity more than anything else, you know?” (0:10:45)
“I lived on 2nd Avenue and 6th Street” (0:44:56)
“I don't understand why people were going David loves it.” (0:13:01)
Went in ready to reappreciate the franchise and loved the first two films (came out of midnight screenings thinking of them as giddy, teenage and emotionally charged). Hates movies where characters refuse to make decisions and the plot stalls for time, and dislikes the permanence/teen-marriage logic of the books. Suckers for a bold swing, such as the last film's big deviation, and for Slade's horror-genre scenes. Attribution is partly inferred from context (baby, steel book, signing off at 2:12) so confidence is moderate.
Stances
Eclipse is lifeless and rudderless after the first two
Slade only seems to like the bad-vampire scenes
Twilight fandom deserves respect against gatekeeping
Humor: Dry riffs and long shaggy-dog trivia, escalating bits like Burger King toys and hand stuff.
In their words
“Here's my take on this movie.” (1:57:03)
“I'm so pro-kissing.” (0:43:06)
“Target canceled my steel book order for the 5th time.” (0:10:57)
Loves Jane Campion, Martin Brest underdog crusades, and franchise chaos like Twilight. Mixed on Terrence Malick relative to peers. Wary of revisiting Her.
Stances
Brest is his favorite uphill cause
Wants to treat bracket decisions fairly
Revisiting Her feels risky
Humor: Self-aware grandstanding bits and absurd matchup-logic riffs.
In their words
“I think it has like an incel quality to it.” (0:29:36)
“I'm half kidding, but actually, I'm not kidding.” (0:25:50)
Loves the franchise's iconography and design and tracks toy merchandise; sucker for actors who commit to weirdness and for Alien-series trivia. Admires Ridley Scott's business sense and finds the CGI creature the least interesting stretch. Cannot stand being distracted by texters in a theater.
Stances
Covenant should have kept the Franco prologue
Scott is a company man who slips interesting things into blockbusters
Actor-swap effects are only impressive when objects pass between the doubles
Loved the first three Alien movies in 7th grade and felt a massive drop-off with Resurrection, but is won over by the practical effects, the wet sets and Sigourney Weaver. A collector who owns every Ripley action figure but one. Cannot stand the generic villain casting and is sentimental about French cinema through his mother.
Stances
Resurrection is fun for the first hour and bogs down when characters stop to talk
Sigourney Weaver rules; Winona Ryder is a bore here
The ending should have stayed with the alien nest instead of heading to Earth
Glad an Earth-set Alien never happened
Humor: Self-deprecating storyteller who spins long tangents and doubles down on bits.
In their words
“It was the thing I looked forward to in 7th grade that I got to watch another alien movie at the end of the week.” (0:04:54)
“I'm now feeling like I might have to go back on.” (0:30:27)
Loves the Alien series enough to have made a weeks-long VHS triple feature of it as a kid, and defends Alien 3. Hates it when studios replace classic logos. A sucker for toy lines, chains, and bits that run on wordplay.
Stances
Alien 3 earns its place in the franchise and is better than its reputation
Bringing Ripley back as a clone is worse than killing Hicks and Newt
Studios should not swap old logos for new ones
Humor: Escalating riffs and puns, with a big appetite for tangents about menu-board details like toys and trivia.
In their words
“I think it totally earns its place within the franchise.” (1:26:00)
“I think the tuba is the funniest of all instruments.” (0:08:31)
Loves Rogue Nation and McQuarrie's practical, analog Cruise films, and takes film history personally. Can't stand Pixels-type junk but is a sucker for odd actors, villain tracksuits and wardrobe jokes.
Stances
Rogue Nation is the best M:I film
Practical stunts and clarity of stakes make the best action
Humor: Stacks absurd bits and running gags such as Luther's hat and the thigh move.
In their words
“I auditioned like 5 times for screen four, including 4 Wes Craven” (2:22:37)
Loves digging through the Blu-ray extras and commentaries for a movie and reporting back. Fond of rom-com construction and the industry backstory of how a film got made. Grew up downtown, and his mother's anti-chain-store politics shaped how he saw this movie as a kid.
Stances
Ephron's films are quietly experimental rather than generic
Fighting chains and protecting small bookstores shaped his view of the film
Actors' craft stories (Kinnear's ending, the Lalo scene) are the heart of the movie
Humor: Self-deprecating, bit-driven; owns his fumbled bits on mic.
In their words
“I fucked up the bit that we were trying to do, which is I am confident in the fact that he lived in England and him being from the Upper West Side surprises me.” (0:25:05)
“my mom's entire life that she was bringing my brother and I into was all about, like, we have to fight like Banana Republic.” (0:22:33)
“Hanks was saying he was pulling his hair out and he couldn't make sense of the Lalo scene” (1:41:52)
Loves the box office game and can recall almost any weekend from release dates; has a childhood devotion to Snow Day, Chris Elliott and Vin Diesel. Researches the filmography (Keaton's directing career, IMDb trivia) and likes the idea of a movie being a family or sibling reference point. Hates cable-edited versions of films on streaming sites.
Stances
Hanging Up does not cohere; each actress seems to be in a different movie
The last 20 minutes with the sisters together is where the juice is
Mourns the loss of varied theatrical box office weekends
Cable-edited streaming versions are unacceptable
Humor: Mock-obsessive precision about trivia (taglines, grosses, release weekends) delivered with self-deprecation.
In their words
“It is the only thing that gives me grounding in my life.” (1:31:35)
“Well, now I'm telling you, you motherfuckers should be watching Snow Day.” (1:23:33)
“I still found it not as bad as watching Braveheart on Pluto.” (1:15:18)
“I wish this had been the entire movie.” (0:27:31)
He is ready to submit to a silly pop-up and treat the staff with respect, and he reads the movie's plot and cast aloud with relish. He plays along with the Quibi bit and loves a long gag.
Stances
Staff of the experience deserve credit
The film is less palatable than the experience
Humor: He builds long deadpan bits, such as the Downton Abbey cast working the Trolls pop-up.
In their words
“Let me go step by step, okay?” (0:12:32)
“Now, we, of course, did this in the correct order because” (0:08:43)
Loves puppetry and practical creature design (Jabba, Yoda, the rancor), the speeder chase, and Wicket the Ewok. Dislikes the special-edition CGI additions and the Max Rebo band number, and wants Han and Leia to have real jobs in the third act. A sucker for a gag that gets dragged across the whole commentary.
Stances
Jabba's palace is the favorite stretch of any Star Wars film
Han and Leia are sidelined after the Ewoks arrive
Lucas's special-edition changes are weak and goofy
He is hosting a final Star Wars farewell to the Big Nice room
Humor: Escalating callback bits and absurd impressions, undercutting his own sentimental turns.
In their words
“I just, I fucking love puppetry, David.” (0:46:55)
“This my least favorite thing that he did.” (0:15:45)
Loves chaos picks and big swings (Judi Dench in Cats, Rebecca Ferguson in Doctor Sleep), cats and Pain and Glory are tangled up in his head, and he champions Portrait/Parasite/Us. Skeptical of Toy Story 4 going in. A sucker for movie-star arrival performances and the Fast & Furious franchise.
Stances
Cats is a real favorite, 'A slash F'
Removed Farewell and Her Smell from his own consideration because of friendships
Best original/adapted screenplay should include genre swings like Glass
Humor: Self-deprecating, riffs on running bits (Forky, nicknames like Florence Candice LeBron Bergen Pugh) and escalating panic over the F9 trailer.
In their words
“Best comedic performance of 2019, Little Women.” (0:12:56)
“I'm genuinely having a panic attack waiting for this trailer, so I'm ending this episode right now.” (1:41:14)
Loves Endgame, can be talked around on Infinity War after a rewatch, adores comics history (Kirby, Fourth World), fan-casting games and Marvel trivia. Can't stand corporate killing-off-characters-as-meaning,, and actors' craft. A sucker for the Avengers theme and big crowd-pleasing hero moments.
Stances
Infinity War frustrated him in theaters but he came around after Endgame
Wants characters' deaths to carry real emotional follow-through
Joaquin Phoenix and Cumberbatch contrast shows how green screen needs trained actors
Doctor Strange has the worst jokes in Marvel
Humor: Rapid-fire riffing and bits, and self-aware pop-culture asides.
In their words
“I love Endgame.” (0:27:58)
“I was perfectly wrong.” (2:28:18)
Their shows' recurring bits
Running bits, not opinions; a critic read aloud is cited, not present.
The Big Picture
Drafts: Hosts and guests draft films in rounds; every pick is a recommendation with an argument.
Hall of Fame: A star's or director's best, ranked and argued.
Countdowns: Ranked lists, top five or top ten.
Blank Check with Griffin & David
The box office game: Guessing the film's opening weekend and what it was up against.
The sung theme: "Blank Check with Griffin and David", sung; the transcriber garbles it.
Their claims
Showing 1,101–1,162 of 1,162 claims.
theme (theme):
Chris Evans → Paddington.
Steve Rogers is rooted for because he is a scrappier Paddington who believes the best of people and only dislikes Nazis.
“he's just like a scrappier version of Paddington.”
lineage (lineage):
Thor → Masters of the Universe.
Thor is described as essentially a remake of the live-action Masters of the Universe.
“It's mostly just a remake of the live action masters of the universe movie.”
Blank Check — Patreon ·
Thor ·
0:03:54 ·
Griffin Newman
(0.65 sure it was them)
lineage (lineage):
Thor → Masters of the Universe.
Both banish a hero from his heightened mythic world into a mundane Earth town and play it for fish-out-of-water jokes.
“And you place the one character who belongs in this heightened sci-fi world in the middle of like, you know, the Southwest.”
Blank Check — Patreon ·
Thor ·
0:04:40 ·
Griffin Newman
(0.60 sure it was them)
career (career):
Chris Hemsworth → Sean Connery.
Doubts that Hemsworth is just a big stuntman echo Fleming dismissing Connery as an overblown stuntman when cast as Bond.
“Ian Fleming publicly was like, he's not an actor.”
Blank Check — Patreon ·
Thor ·
0:24:38 ·
Griffin Newman
(0.40 sure it was them)
lineage (lineage):
Thor → Masters of the Universe.
Skeletor banishing He-Man to California mirrors Odin banishing Thor, down to the cartoon-to-film design translation and the large Coke gag.
“They banish him to California, and then like, it's Courtney Cox and some other Californian teenager take them in.”
Blank Check — Patreon ·
Thor ·
0:37:32 ·
Griffin Newman
(0.60 sure it was them)
Blank Check — Patreon ·
Thor ·
0:42:42 ·
Griffin Newman
(0.60 sure it was them)
lineage (lineage):
Thor → Masters of the Universe.
Thor's coffee-mug throwing scene is likened to Gwildor failing to understand fried chicken in He-Man.
“It's like the scene in He-Man where Gueldor doesn't get fried chicken.”
Blank Check — Patreon ·
Thor ·
0:44:06 ·
Griffin Newman
(0.60 sure it was them)
industry (industry):
Thor → Black Panther.
Thor shot on a real New Mexico location; later Marvel films like Black Panther are made in Atlanta lots for tax rebates and secrecy, hurting how they look.
“a lot of it looks ugly because they were so committed to filming it in like a fucking Atlanta parking lot.”
Blank Check — Patreon ·
Thor ·
0:45:46 ·
Griffin Newman
(0.40 sure it was them)
contrast (contrast):
Thor → Black Panther.
Black Panther gives every ensemble member an inner life and a plot function; Thor's side characters like Volstagg and Sif do little.
“every single character has their own personality, their own internal conflict, but has like a very important plot function as well.”
Blank Check — Patreon ·
Thor ·
0:47:38 ·
Griffin Newman
(0.40 sure it was them)
career (career):
Stellan Skarsgard → Nymphomaniac.
American films use Skarsgard as a goofy side dish while in Sweden and Europe he is the transgressive art-house king and Lars von Trier's regular.
“in Sweden, he's like the most like transgressive, like penis wagging, hyper violent sexual actor.”
Blank Check — Patreon ·
Thor ·
0:49:33 ·
Griffin Newman
(0.50 sure it was them)
career (career):
Stellan Skarsgard → Insomnia.
Skarsgard plays the Pacino part in the Norwegian original of Insomnia.
“he plays the Pacino part in the original insomnia.”
Blank Check — Patreon ·
Thor ·
0:50:03 ·
Griffin Newman
(0.40 sure it was them)
career (career):
Natalie Portman → Garden State.
A riff on Garden State turns into proposing Ben replace Zach Braff over the whole film as a Kuleshov-effect experiment.
“Can we just shoot Ben in front of a green screen and like superimpose him over Zach Raff and keep the rest of the movie the same?”
Blank Check — Patreon ·
Thor ·
0:54:33 ·
Griffin Newman
(0.50 sure it was them)
programming (programming):
Thor → The Avengers.
The Hawkeye cameo, with no interaction, made the speaker doubt the Avengers team-up would work.
“The thing you want to see is how they talk and interact with each other.”
Blank Check — Patreon ·
Thor ·
1:02:12 ·
Griffin Newman
(0.35 sure it was them)
industry (industry):
Justice League → The Avengers.
Marvel spent five setup films; DC's Justice League tried eight characters off two movies.
“the Justice League is like, we have like 8 characters and we did 2 movies.”
Blank Check — Patreon ·
Thor ·
1:02:49 ·
Griffin Newman
(0.35 sure it was them)
theme (theme):
Thor → Ghost Rider.
Marvel heroes outside Spider-Man, X-Men, and Fantastic Four lack good villains; Thor has Loki, Ghost Rider's foes are Satan-adjacent like Thor's mythology ones.
“the thing with the Ghost Rider is it like sort of uses like satanic mythology in the same way that this uses Greek mythology.”
Blank Check — Patreon ·
Thor ·
1:21:53 ·
Griffin Newman
(0.35 sure it was them)
verdict (verdict):
Joss Whedon → The Avengers.
Whedon kills the sweetest character to prove a point in everything, though he did it well in Avengers.
“Whedon, who, um, loves to fucking kill the innocent to prove a dramatic point.”
Blank Check — Patreon ·
Thor ·
1:24:39 ·
Griffin Newman
(0.40 sure it was them)
craft (craft):
Patrick Doyle → Thor.
Doyle's score is judged serviceable big orchestral work but not a strong score.
“I also think that the music, little anonymous, Patrick Doyle, but you know, Doyle will give you a serviceable sort of big orchestral stuff.”
Blank Check — Patreon ·
Thor ·
1:47:28 ·
Griffin Newman
(0.40 sure it was them)
craft (craft):
Thor → Foo Fighters.
Branagh dropped in the Foo Fighters song Walk at the last minute because its lyrics were about learning to walk again, like Thor.
“Brana thought the lyrics were appropriate because it's about learning to walk again, much like Thor is learning to be a superhero.”
Blank Check — Patreon ·
Thor ·
1:49:38 ·
Griffin Newman
(0.35 sure it was them)
industry (industry):
Rio → Newt (cancelled Pixar film).
Rio's trailer revealed the same last-of-their-species-must-mate premise, causing Pixar to cancel Newt.
“Rio caused the only Pixar movie to be canceled?”
Blank Check — Patreon ·
Thor ·
1:53:14 ·
Griffin Newman
(0.40 sure it was them)
Blank Check — Patreon ·
Thor ·
1:54:58 ·
Griffin Newman
(0.40 sure it was them)
lineage (lineage):
Gary Shandling → Robocop 2.
The Shandling scene of failing military machines is likened to Robocop 2's footage of machines not working.
“Shanley is weirdly like Robocop 2, which I've just seen for the 1st time now where they show all these machines not working.”
what-if (what-if):
Beverly Hills Cop → Mickey Rourke.
After Stallone dropped out of Beverly Hills Cop, Rourke was offered the part, then Eddie Murphy came in and the film was rebuilt around his riffing.
contrast (contrast):
Iron Man 2 → Beverly Hills Cop II.
Iron Man 1 was a straight movie subverted from within by a loose lead, like Beverly Hills Cop; the sequel was written as comedy from the start, like Beverly Hills Cop II, so nothing is subversive.
“The problem with this movie is they tried to write it from as a comedy from the get go.”
career (career):
Beverly Hills Cop III → Eddie Murphy.
Murphy wanted serious roles like Denzel and Snipes, so on the Landis-directed third film he refused to tell jokes.
“So they hire John Landis to make a funny movie. And then Eddie Murphy's like, I will not tell jokes in this.”
lineage (lineage):
Iron Man 2 → Robocop 2.
Both feature an opening gag of malfunctioning machines, and a plot about the military trying to make another one.
“this is very similar to Robocob 2 where they're like, the plot is kind of just like, how do we make another one of these?”
craft (craft):
Rick Baker → Mickey Rourke.
The speaker jokes that makeup artist Rick Baker was handed an Academy Award for Rourke's look, when Rourke simply showed up on set that way.
“Rick Baker, an Academy Award for Mickey Rourke in this movie.”
craft (craft):
Nancy Meyers → National Treasure.
Griffin ties Jon Voight's soufflé line about National Treasure to Meyers: light, airy films that collapse if one element is wrong.
career (career):
Sense and Sensibility → The Ice Storm.
After the Sense and Sensibility hit, Lee made the most depressing movie ever made, which got no Oscar nominations.
“But before he made that decision, he was like, what if I make like the most depressing movie ever made?”
unmapped (parody):
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon → Scary Movie.
Wire-work parody in pop culture (Scary Movie that year) made it hard for a young Griffin to take the genre seriously.
career (career):
Chow Yun-fat → Daniel Day-Lewis.
Li Mu Bai is in a Daniel Day-Lewis retirement mode: the best at something that no longer satisfies him.
“I think he's in like Daniel De-Louis retirement mode.”
verdict (verdict):
Martin Campbell → Vertical Limit.
Martin Campbell is only good at making James Bond movies; Vertical Limit is a good first scene only.
“It's a great example of Martin Campbell only being good at making masterpiece James Bond movies”
craft (craft):
The Ice Storm → Do the Right Thing.
The Ice Storm gets cold weather as right as Do the Right Thing gets hot weather, trading rage for malaise.
“I think this movie gets cold weather as right as do the right thing gets hot weather.”
lineage (lineage):
The Ice Storm → Freaks and Geeks.
Recognizing the Ice Storm as a 40-something's nostalgia piece led to the same realization with Freaks and Geeks.
“the next thing I remember thinking that about and having that realization about was, uh, was freaks and geeks.”
theme (theme):
The Ice Storm → Fantastic Four.
The Ice Storm's families map onto the Fantastic Four, with Joan Allen as Invisible Woman and Kevin Kline as Mr. Fantastic.
“No, yeah, no, Joan Allen is Invisible Woman, and Kevin Klein is fucking Mr. Fate Desk.”
fun, about
Vanilla Sky:
Griffin's casting story: a casting director warned him not to joke about 'can you hear me now?' when the Verizon actor wrote and directed a film.
“the writer and director of this film, who's going to be in the audition is the can you hear me now, guy?”
fun, about
Vanilla Sky:
The recording was spread over years because the hosts kept leaving the country, so references to a breakup will be five weeks stale on release.
“Having to re-listen to me make references to how sad I am right now 5 weeks from now when this episode's released.”