Loves Marvel's cosmic, ragtag-team side and the animated Rocket/Groot heart; affectionate about the sillier comic characters. Dislikes humorless gray franchise filmmaking and bad needle drops. A sucker for a ragtag group, a Trek-style space comedy, and a Han Solo type inside an ensemble. Speaker attribution in this transcript is uncertain.
Stances
Gunn is a real filmmaker who won his arguments with Marvel
Quill is the best Han Solo since Han Solo
Rocket and Groot are one of the best big/small duos
Humor: Talks in self-aware bits (the countdown clock, chronic lateness) and makes dirty-minded pile-ons with the room.
In their words
“I just don't get how, like, people saw this movie who had not seen every Marvel movie for sure.” (0:24:45)
“That's the other big thing is that gun was a troma guy.” (0:36:18)
Marvel completist who loves the series' smaller character beats (Agent Carter, Peggy, Falcon, Sam Jackson's Fury) and defends Infinity War. Loves action built from hand-to-hand fights and movie-star dialogue scenes. Allergic to bad-faith villain motives and to the cheap CGI leaps. Suckers for old tech, spy-bureaucracy aesthetic and New Hollywood stars.
Stances
Winter Soldier is great until the final Helicarrier act
Prefers small-scale hand-to-hand action to CGI set pieces
Loves Agent Carter and wants it back
Mild on Bucky/Winter Soldier himself
Humor: Rapid riffs, character voices, self-deprecating anecdotes and overlong running bits that derail the commentary.
In their words
“I just love this sequence” (0:08:33)
“I think this movie's basically terrific until the final seppies” (0:12:41)
Loves lore-heavy, dorky, earnest sci-fi fantasy with real sets, tactile design and a spaceship in it; likes the Thor mythos and Sif. Dislikes things that mock their own source material (Ragnarok) and thinks the first Thor is too clean. A sucker for spectacle that dumps lore on a simple hero's journey.
Stances
Dark World is the most underappreciated Marvel film
Ragnarok disrespects the mythos
Practical, tactile design beats cartoony CGI
Humor: Rapid riffing wordplay and long running bits (Tony Lip as pizza), eagerly undercutting his own sincerity.
In their words
“I'm defenseless before any dizzyingly silly sci-fi epic that downloads gigabytes of lore into the viewer's brain by means of a simple hero's journey narrative.” (1:38:17)
Loves Iron Man 3 as his favorite MCU film for its character study and how it turns superhero loneliness into anxiety and panic. Collects $20 off-the-shelf action figures and Hot Toys Robocop, and cherishes buddy-cop 80s action and well-built set pieces. Dislikes suits that are just mush CGI and wet-cement final fights.
Stances
Iron Man 3 is a masterpiece and anyone who dislikes it is wrong
Tony should be out of the suit; the film works because he is not Iron Man for most of it
Marvel should have let the Rebecca Hall villain stand
Loves Whedon-era dialogue, Buffy and Firefly, Kenneth Lonergan, and character-driven ensemble action; sucker for actors having fun and clever setups paid off. Dislikes homogenized Marvel visuals, rock-song tags, and Grindelwald's Crimes. Allergic to a Christmas tree and moose.
Stances
Whedon's script is the star; the film is not visually distinguished
Ruffalo is the movie's best performance
Costume detail (neckcloth) bothers him
Grindelwald should be as fun as Loki
Humor: Spends bits on celebrity impressions (Downey, Timberlake, Tom Waits) and mock-pompous asides.
In their words
“I'm still like a big Buffy fan, a big old-fashioned Wii. I love Firefly, right?” (0:04:21)
“This is what I want Grindewald to be like...” (0:40:51)
He loves heightened-but-not-kitschy design, period movies, Peggy Carter, and actors who underplay. He is a sucker for old-fashioned adventure and a Fantastic Four fan. He doesn't like the reasonable-Nazi Zola or the digital-video look of early-2010s effects.
Stances
The film feels like it ends in the middle
Bucky does not work as an emotional anchor
Actors' behavior in food scenes reveals pros from novices
Humor: Self-deprecating personal stories, about being 90 pounds and eating four cheeseburgers at his Disney store job.
In their words
“I was so grossly underweight and I felt like it was a hindrance to my career because I looked skeleton.” (0:18:15)
A Masters of the Universe devotee who reaches for He-Man as the template for Thor, loves the hammer payoff, and is a sucker for Cat Dennings and Sif. Dislikes the desaturated palette and the cheap-looking Jotunheim. Has the clearest pop-culture and actor-career recall, with skits and personal anecdotes.
Stances
Thor is a remake of Masters of the Universe
The movie looks ugly and desaturated
Hemsworth's performance and chemistry work
Not yet sold on Thor as a character until Avengers and Dark World
Humor: Escalating bits that run for minutes, like the Skarsgard-nudity search and buried jeans.
In their words
“It's mostly just a remake of the live action masters of the universe movie.” (0:03:54)
“I'm searching Stellen Starsgard full frontal nudity.” (1:12:14)
Loves comic-book lore (Crimson Dynamo, Demon in a Bottle) and Iron Man 3, Galaxy Quest, Garry Shandling. Cannot stand a movie that pads out its middle with self-impressed banter. A sucker for Tartakovsky action.
Stances
Iron Man 3 is the great Iron Man movie
Iron Man 2 mistakes riffing for story
Dark World is a joke best American film
Humor: Riffs and impressions, pumps up bits like the Expo is an element.
In their words
“Iron Man 3 is the greatest movie ever made.” (0:25:19)
“I love Larry Sanders too, but it's Gary Shandling show is like my favorite.” (1:30:55)
Loves Ang Lee's Hulk and is quick to defend Iron Man 2's ambitions; hates bad CGI faces and generic action presets; a sucker for chain restaurants, pizza and Marvel lore.
Stances
Ang Lee's Hulk is good and this one is a corrective with no point
Edward Norton is miscast and unengaged
Iron Man 2 fails more interestingly
Humor: Absurdist riffing, sung bits, and escalating food and chain-restaurant tangents.
Loves Marvel comics deeply (Ultimate line, Ms. Marvel, Franklin Richards), actor-driven performances, and looseness; hates a studio-polished formula and a reporter sleeping with the subject trope. A sucker for comic-book film process scenes, the Comic-Con trailer era, and the Tick.
Stances
Iron Man is solid but not beloved; the post-credits Fury scene blew his mind
Prefers Iron Man's visible machinery to nanobite suits
Thinks Infinity War is a triumph, others disagree
Humor: Riffs and bits about his own history (Times Square apartment, 99-cent pizza, Avatar audition).
In their words
“I remember liking this movie. I didn't love it, but I remember feeling... Oh, I fucking loved this movie.” (1:13:42)
Obsessive about National Treasure and the minutiae of movie culture, and a Nancy Meyers admirer who frames her as a souffle filmmaker. Cares about Oscar-season lore and montages. Likes that Nicholson is vulnerable and unvain in this film.
Stances
Nancy Meyers is a souffle filmmaker whose perfectionism serves a fantasy for the audience (attributed at moderate confidence)
The film is a deconstruction of Nicholson's persona and aged better than It's Complicated (speaker uncertain)
Humor: Fast riffing and bits (Keanu impression, Transformers totems), plus running gags about Brenton Thwaites and National Treasure 3.
In their words
“Interesting bringing that up because I'm going to actually draw a big national treasure parallel in this episode to something that's got to give.” (0:11:12)
“And I feel like Nancy is like a souffle filmmaker” (1:33:22)
Loves high-concept, big-swing filmmaking and sees deep emotion in the fights of CTHD; adores sword-and-flight spectacle, dumb-sweet characters like Inspector Tsai, and Lady Bird comparisons. Can't stand Brett Ratner and tired-looking Marvel fights; a sucker for bit-heavy tangents.
Stances
CTHD's fights carry story and character
US action movies are bad because they lack talent and time
Disliked CTHD at 11, later realized it is great
Humor: Escalating riffs and callbacks, crude and silly puns, voices.
In their words
“I was so literal minded where I was like, but they don't explain why they can fly.” (0:17:40)
“11 year old Griffin was laughing and like 29 year old Griffin was crying.” (1:00:34)
Loves The Ice Storm and defends Hulk-era Ang Lee; treats it as a sad Fantastic Four movie. Hates the see-the-ending-first structure in general. A sucker for Elliott Gould and comic-book metaphors.
Stances
Ice Storm is a masterpiece and the best Lee film not starring a Marvel hero
Fantastic Four deserves a sad, isolated, family movie
Dislikes in-media-res openings but accepts this one
Humor: Dry riffing, running bits, and confessional anecdotes about his own near-misses.
In their words
“He put his hand on my shoulder and he went, you're family.” (0:29:17)
“this movie does make me wish that he gotten the chance to make a sad, fantastic four movie.” (1:34:30)
Loves Bigelow's tension and iconography, and Curtis's grounded, empathetic underplaying. Dislikes Mother!'s lack of an anchor. A sucker for character actors and the way a movie's scenes hold the whole thing in micro.
Stances
Blue Steel is top-tier Bigelow and a rediscovery candidate
The movie is about gender and tension, and every scene plays differently if she were a man
Humor: Riffs on nicknames and bits, running gags like 'David and I' variations.
In their words
“My father's a professor at NYU, and he needed guest speakers, and so we talked about podcasting to his class.” (0:26:44)
Loves the film's loneliness and the hardcore Crowe-ness; he's a defender of this movie after rewatching, gives it A minus or B plus. Can't stand the way Cruz is shoved into a romance with no chemistry. A sucker for Kurt Russell, Jason Lee and a good bit.
Stances
Vanilla Sky is the loneliest movie ever made
Defends the movie after first seeing it two years ago on Netflix
Is going through a breakup and keeps working it into the episode
Humor: Self-lacerating, prop comedy and long running bits (sunglasses, catchphrases).
In their words
“It's the loneliest movie ever made.” (0:34:00)
“I'm going through a psychological free fall.” (0:00:55)
Attribution to Griffin versus David is low-confidence (no labels). One host loves Muppets and puppetry and rewatched this on video as a child; the same side loses patience over CGI special-edition changes and the Marcia Lucas theory. Likes conclusions and wrapped-up stories; can't stand Lucas's digital embellishments.
Stances
Special-edition CGI additions hurt Jedi most
Puppets and practical creatures are the movie's strength
Lucas is a sympathetic, wounded figure
Humor: Escalating comic fury, bits about the Empire as a workplace comedy and Santa-hat table dressing.
In their words
“I fucking love Muppets, as you know.” (0:09:53)
“I think the puppetry's so good.” (0:57:07)
Their shows' recurring bits
Running bits, not opinions; a critic read aloud is cited, not present.
The Big Picture
Drafts: Hosts and guests draft films in rounds; every pick is a recommendation with an argument.
Hall of Fame: A star's or director's best, ranked and argued.
Countdowns: Ranked lists, top five or top ten.
Blank Check with Griffin & David
The box office game: Guessing the film's opening weekend and what it was up against.
The sung theme: "Blank Check with Griffin and David", sung; the transcriber garbles it.
Their claims
Showing 501–600 of 1,162 claims.
programming (pairing):
The Killer → Steven Soderbergh.
A friend of the podcast says it is Fincher and Soderbergh land: a stripped-down genre exercise.
industry (deal comparison):
The Killer → Steven Soderbergh.
The Killer feels like Fincher doing what Soderbergh does with his HBO Max deal: simple, one name, small money.
“Killer kind of feels like Fincher trying to do the same thing.”
unmapped (unrealized idea):
Heavy Metal → Love, Death & Robots.
Love, Death & Robots is framed as Fincher finally doing the omnibus he wanted with Heavy Metal.
“I mean, that sort of is him finding a way to do what he always wanted to do with heavy metal”
unmapped (script rewrite):
Jack Fincher → Eric Roth.
The speaker says Roth rewrote Jack Fincher's script into the version that was made, adding nuance.
“he came in and put a lot more nuance into it, I think.”
people (script rewritten by the director):
Eric Roth → Killers of the Flower Moon.
Roth's strict adaptation was torn up and rewritten by Scorsese himself, which Griffin compares to Mank.
“It's like Scorsese Adam come in, he writes this script.”
unmapped (behind-the-scenes drama):
The Offer → Mank.
The Offer, like Mank, makes the writers and directors of a classic into putzes; the gap between Mank and Kane is much closer.
“The offer does a similar thing where it makes Coppola and Puzo both out to be putzes.”
people (casting approach):
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo → Gone Girl.
The speaker thinks Fincher's exhaustive casting search on Dragon Tattoo informed how he cast Amy with someone new to the audience.
“that exhaustive casting search, which I do think informs the way he approaches Amy going into this movie as well”
lineage (remake analogy):
Martin Scorsese → Infernal Affairs.
Griffin compares Oplev's situation to Scorsese taking a crack at Infernal Affairs.
“That's a bit of a like Scorsese Infernal Affairs thing where you're just like, look, if that guy wants to take a crack at it, who am I to stand in the way?”
unmapped (making-of documentary):
David Prior → The Social Network.
David Prior directed the feature-length documentary about the making of The Social Network on the DVD.
“David Pryor, the wonderful David Pryor directed feature-length documentary about the making of this movie that's on the DVD.”
unmapped (trailer vibe):
The Social Network → Zodiac.
A friend heard the trailer and the speaker said it looked like Breakfast Club meets Zodiac, which was Fincher's fingerprint.
“and saying like, it looks like Breakfast Club meets Zodiac.”
unmapped (photography):
Jeff Cronenweth → The Social Network.
Cronenweth (transcribed Kronowith) is the DP quoted on the mime and the guerrilla lighting cart.
“But Cronin, the DP was basically saying like, it's great that on like a $40000000 studio movie.”
unmapped (attached then replaced):
David Fincher → The Black Dahlia.
Fincher was attached and pitched a miniseries; the project became a film De Palma made.
“that turns into a movie that De Palma makes a flawed, but interesting film.”
lineage (adaptation):
Robert Graysmith → Zodiac.
The Salerno script, which Vanderbilt took over, adapted Graysmith's nonfiction book (with a speculative sequel bolted on).
“So it's sort of like an adaptation of Graysmith's nonfiction book and a speculative sequence.”
programming (franchise pairing):
Aliens → Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol.
Both franchises are auteur-rich without one definitive director, which is why the Patreon series covered them.
“Uh, but like Mission Impossible Aliens, perfect examples of franchises that uh, have a tours, but do not have one definitive director.”
theme (cut comparison):
Alien 3 → Snyder Cut (Justice League).
The assembly cut is viewed like the Snyder Cut: interesting for laying out the intentions, but not a functioning movie.
“This time I viewed it more like, uh, uh, Zach, the the Snyder Cut.”
craft (design contribution):
H.R. Giger → Alien 3.
Giger's design work was mostly discarded; the Bambi Burster rod puppet was the main thing of his that ended up in the film.
“that was apparently the main thing that he had an influence on that actually ended up in the film.”
lineage (early inspiration):
David Fincher → Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.
A televised making-of documentary about Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid blew young Fincher's mind about how movies are made.
lineage (sequel / genre shift):
Alien → Aliens.
Cameron's sequel to Ridley Scott's film shifted the genre, which raised expectations for any follow-up.
“some other fucking guy is coming in and making a sequel to Ridley Scott's movie.”
unmapped (unproduced script):
William Gibson → Alien 3.
Gibson's famous unproduced script is mostly about Hicks and is very different from the film that got made.
unmapped (joke):
Alien 3 → Treasure Planet.
Ben once said he was disappointed the whole Treasure Planet wasn't a treasure (a chest); the wooden planet draws the same bit.
“said I was disappointed that the entire planet wasn't a treasure?”
unmapped (Fincher's pitch):
David Lean → Alien 3.
Fincher says his original pitch was like a David Lean movie, much bigger and more political than what Fox allowed.
“He says, okay, my pitch was like a David Lean movie.”
theme (character echo):
Paul McGann → Prometheus.
Golic, who worships the alien, is an early version of the David character in the Ridley Scott movies (the speaker says they do better versions later).
“Like with the David character in the Ridley Scott movies.”
unmapped (critic champion):
Gene Siskel → Babe: Pig in the City.
Siskel's final best-of list had this film on top (transcript is garbled: 'Bay Pick in the city').
“in that sort of Wizard of Oz conversation of like movies that came out, did okay at the time and are now just like so deeply woven into the tapestry of pop culture”
career (career):
Tim Burton → Frankenweenie.
Disney funded live-action Frankenweenie instead of this project because it was cheaper and faster.
“Disney basically gives him the money to make live action Frank and Weenie rather than make this because Frank and Weenie would be cheaper and faster.”
fun, about
Bob Fosse:
Fosse died in Verdon's arms at an intersection in Washington DC during a Sweet Charity revival; friends dined on his tab per his will; a producer's last message from Bobby was about a script.
“All his friends go out to dinner on his tab, which was specified in his will.”
fun, about
Box office week:
Nov 1983 chart: Big Chill, Never Say Never Again, Richard Pryor Here and Now, Deal of the Century (dropped from #1), All the Right Moves; Return of the Jedi at 18.
“Number 5 of the box office is an early film from a big star.”
fun, about
Cabaret:
Cabaret beat The Godfather for best director; to Julie it keeps getting more relevant, with the distorted Nazis in the brass at the end.
fun, about
Kubrick miniseries:
Next is Kubrick, starting with Fear and Desire and Killer's Kiss in one episode; Julie asks them to think of Star 80 when discussing Clockwork Orange.
“But yeah, 1st our 1st cubric episode is killer kiss and fear and desire.”
fun, about
An Angel at My Table:
Griffin's best-line story: the film has no quotes page, so he scrubbed to the scene for the line about longing to be as full of secrets as she seemed to be.
“I long to be as full of secrets as she seemed to be”
fun, about
The Last Emperor:
Campion's fear of attachment: she loved the middle kid in The Last Emperor and was mad when he grew up, so she timed Angel's actor switches for happy moments.
“I was basically afraid like, oh, you're gonna love one of them and you're gonna, you know, miss them when they're gone.”
fun, about
Moonlight:
Griffin admits he was so Moonlight-pilled he assumed Kerry Fox would be the entire third part, and only 30 minutes into part two realized she had arrived.
“I was so like moonlight pilled watching this movie”
fun, about
An Angel at My Table:
The photograph sequence: a sister missing from the photo, her death, then the photo restored with an arm added; Janet watches and listens, a writer in the making.
“the photographer did this weird thing where he cut her out of this photo and made her her own photo and then added her arm there.”
fun, about
Jane Campion:
Campion on New Zealand: the first European painters' pictures were thought exaggerated because of the clear air and black shadows.
fun, about
An Angel at My Table:
Fancy free, said by a boarding-house man warning her about men, becomes Griffin's life-changing discovery and a debate about whether it means single.
fun, about
Starman marketing:
Studio feared the John Carpenter's name would mislabel it as horror; market research said it just read as a stamp of quality, the most validating thing Carpenter heard to that point.
fun, about
Starman development:
Directors who passed or left: Badham, Adrian Lyne, Tony Scott, Mark Rydell, Peter Hyams; everyone who turned it down made a hit.
fun, about
Michael Douglas / Starman:
Douglas developed Starman as his own star vehicle; they all agree he would have been a disaster in the alien role, a cad and slimeball.
“Michael Douglas was the one who originally developed this movie because he wants a star in it and that would have been a disaster.”
fun, about
Baz Luhrmann:
Griffin saw Luhrmann in Forbidden Planet buying a Wonder Woman umbrella, looking at comics 'like he was Starman, tilting his entire head'.
“And he walked around the store for like 20 minutes looking at comic books like he was Starman”
fun, about
Karen Allen:
Allen turned down the offer at first: a human actor playing an alien, no chemistry for 75 percent of the film; they talked her in.
“pointedly has to spend 75% of the running time having no chemistry with the only person she shares scenes with.”
fun, about
Starman casting:
Kevin Bacon (Carpenter's Christine pick who took Footloose) nearly played Starman; Tom Cruise was courted too but did Legend.
“Carpenter wanted him for Christine and he chose Footloose instead.”
fun, about
Starman transformation:
The baby-to-man transformation by Winston, Baker and Smith; Bridges claimed it would be one unbroken shot; they cut to her reactions.
“You watch a baby turn into like an adult me and it's all in one unbroken shot.”
fun, about
Starman cinematography:
Not shot by Dean Cundy: Carpenter quote says they had a parting of the ways and would need to clear up attitude problems before working again.
fun, about
Starman scene to see:
Diner scene: she orders deviled egg sandwich and pie; he asks why you can't eat the pie first and she says 'I don't know. That's just the way things.'
fun, about
Hank the Cow Dog:
Jeff Nichols is making a scripted children's podcast starring Matthew McConaughey as Hank the Cow Dog; Griffin reads the cast list.
“5 episodes of the scripted children's podcast, Hank the Cow Dog”
fun, about
Eastwood and Reynolds:
Studio exec shredded both in a meeting; Reynolds grinned: 'I can learn how to act. What are you going to do with that Adam's apple?'
“Every else was like, yeah, but I can learn how to act.”
fun, about
Jason Reitman / Ghostbusters: Afterlife:
The hosts recount Reitman's origin story for Afterlife (a girl in a cornfield with a proton pack) and mock it.
“And then one day I was suddenly just struck with this image of a little girl standing in the middle of a cornfield wearing a proton pack”
fun, about
Britney Spears:
Britney's 'Toxic' is declared the objective best Britney song, and David burned a CD with it on twenty times; they pitch a Nausicaä remix with spores.
fun, about
Toxic Crusaders:
An intern at Troma pitched a Toxic Crusaders cartoon revival to Adult Swim; after six months in filing cabinets he found cels and audio tracks but never the contracts.
“I could never find the contracts to be able to do it.”
fun, about
Donkey Kong:
Nintendo almost got sued by Universal over Donkey Kong; someone checked and found nobody had registered King Kong, so Nintendo got the Donkey Kong trademark first.
fun, about
Nausicaä cutout bugs:
For most of the film the big bugs are cutout animation: four pieces of paper compressed like an accordion, essentially two-dimensional stop motion, which gives them an alien look.
“the big bugs are like 4 different pieces of paper that they compress and expand like an accordion.”
fun, about
Nausicaä production:
Animators on Nausicaä were paid per frame, so the film is full of cheats like cutout animation for the big bugs and layered cels where only a hand moves, and Griffin loves seeing the seams.
fun, about
Nausicaä plot confusion:
Both hosts confess the three-faction setup (Valley, Tolmekians, Pejite) is hard to follow; one watched it over four or five hours with breaks and regretted not using the dub.
“I feel like I spent 4 or 5 hours watching this movie because I kept on taking breaks to try to like reorient myself.”
fun, about
Nausicaä's dub:
The Disney dub is a time capsule: Alison Lohman, Patrick Stewart, Shia LaBeouf just before Transformers; Griffin cannot stop hearing Picard under Yupa.
fun, about
Sundance 2019:
Griffin leaned over to his seatmate after The Farewell premiere and called it incredible, which he says he never does at festivals, then started crying hours later thinking about the final shot.
fun, about
Toy Story 4:
The moment that nearly makes Griffin cry is the opening, with the toys huddled in a box under a car in the rain, selling how small and powerless they are.
“The moment that makes me come closest to crying in Toy Story 4 is the opening.”
fun, about
Princess Mononoke / Toshio Suzuki:
When Weinstein wanted cuts, Suzuki mailed him a katana with a note reading 'no cuts'; the hosts treat it as the most badass thing they have heard.
“He mailed him a massive, incredibly sharp and dangerous samurai sword with a note that just said, no cuts.”
fun, about
Mary Poppins Returns:
Griffin says Rob Marshall is a great choreographer who undermines it by cutting away from the lamplighter dance number, while Meryl Streep says yes to anything he asks.
fun, about
Nausicaä's ending:
Miyazaki told an interviewer he did not want Nausicaä to look like a religious figure but saw the last shot read as a religious painting; catharsis was something he never wanted to do again.
“I didn't intend her to make her Joan of Arc. And I want to get rid of any religious undertone.”
fun, about
The Lion King:
Griffin finds the photorealism makes Timon and Pumbaa eating bugs feel cruel since the bugs visibly act scared and have no faces.
“I was like, this movie doesn't understand that this is fucked up now.”
fun, about
Hayao Miyazaki:
A notorious 1984 interview: Miyazaki explains Nausicaä's large chest as there so she can embrace dying people and make them feel secure.
“I think her buzzing needs to be large, so she can embrace all those old men and the women who are in the castle when they're dying.”
fun, about
Keanu Reeves:
Asked by Colbert what happens when we die, Keanu answered that the ones who love us will miss us dearly, then went straight to a John Wick plug.
fun, about
Griffin Newman:
At sleepaway camp he taped newspaper Apes ads to his bunk wall, then learned from counselors the night before his dad signed him out that it was awful.
“Every day I would confiscate the newspapers from the counselors and cut out the ads for Plan of the Apes and tape them to my bunk wall.”
fun, about
Paul Verhoeven:
Seeing a Bosch painting with a man taking a dump in the background made young Verhoeven say that was the art he wanted to make.
“there was a man leaning against a shed taking a shit.”
fun, about
Emmanuel Lubezki:
Griffin spotted three-time Oscar-winning cinematographer Emmanuel Lubezki eating a burger with his parents at Apple Pan in Los Angeles, and calls him Marty rather than Chivo.
“Three time, a historic and historic, three time Academy Award winner for best cinematography, consecutive awards. Emmanuel Labesky.”
fun, about
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest:
Griffin spent a month arguing at an NYU summer program that Pirates 2 made no sense, then realized years later he had slept through 15 minutes of it.
“I realized 2 years later when I saw it on cable that I'd fallen asleep for 15 minutes”
fun, about
Lady in the Water:
Other kids at Griffin's NYU summer program saw it and came back to the cafeteria yelling snarf, snarf, snarf, mocking the film.
“At the cafeteria, they were going snarf, snarf, snarf, snarf.”
fun, about
Lady in the Water:
Shyamalan demanded the set be within 45 minutes of his Pennsylvania home and timed the trip at 43 minutes; the whole apartment complex and pool were built for the film at a Levittown warehouse site.
“Shamalan demanded that the set be within 45 minutes of his Pennsylvania home.”
fun, about
Lady in the Water:
An IMDb trivia fact claims 9 across could not touch 27 down in the crossword Mr. Dury does, since it would need to be 19 letters long.
“It would have to be at least 19 layers long to do so.”
fun, about
Cindy Cheung:
Per trivia, her agent demanded one million dollars for her role while Shyamalan wanted to pay SAG minimum of 65,000; they settled at 100,000.
fun, about
Lady in the Water:
Shyamalan's wish list for supporting roles reportedly included Pacino, De Niro, Gene Wilder, Sidney Poitier, Vince Vaughn, Alec Baldwin and more, all men.
fun, about
Paul Giamatti:
The milk mustache scene: Giamatti rolls on a couch with milk on his beard to seem innocent for the grandmother, and the amount of milk changes between cuts.
“the amount of milk on his mustache changes per every time they cut”
fun, about
Bob Balaban:
Balaban's critic, the next victim, delivers a meta monologue noting that in a movie with no explicit content they will not actually show someone murdered on camera.
“They will not actually let someone be murdered on camera.”
fun, about
The Buried Secret of M. Night Shyamalan:
Griffin had an acting job in the mockumentary that was almost entirely cut out, and cashed a 150 dollar check he was told was SAG minimum.
“That was my 1st acting job that was almost entirely cut out.”
fun, about
The Man Who Heard Voices:
The book on the making of the film records that Shyamalan left Disney when Nina Jacobson took her son to a party instead of reading the script he had couriered to her.
“Shamlon had it personally couriered to her and had insult to injury.”
fun, about
Inception:
Griffin's read: Inception as Nolan's movie about filmmaking, which maps to Lady in the Water, with a team of specialized roles saving a woman named Story.
“This is a movie in which a woman whose name is story is like has to be saved and protected and carried off into the sky by a whole team of people”
fun, about
Robert Downey Jr.:
His first on-screen line in his father's film Pound, at four or five, was a crude one about body hair, which says a lot about the household.
“And his 1st line is, what, you don't think I got hair on my balls?”
fun, about
Ally McBeal:
Downey's fourth-season arrival was hailed as the best television performance ever; he won a Golden Globe, got an Emmy nomination, then was fired for not showing up.
“Yeah, he doesn't show up or whatever, and yeah, they fire him.”
fun, about
Susan Downey:
The legend: on the Gothika set Susan asked Downey why he was not the biggest star in the world, and made it her life's mission to make him one.
fun, about
Iron Man:
A host recalls his father's reaction to Downey being cast as Iron Man: scraping the bottom of the barrel, the movie is a predetermined flop.
“they're really scraping the bottom of the barrel, huh?”
fun, about
Iron Man:
Downey made the least money of any actor on the first film (Terrence Howard got three times as much), then wanted a proportionate raise for the second.
fun, about
Due Date:
Todd Phillips said he made Due Date to see how far he could push Downey's oddness and prickliness before audiences stopped liking him. One host calls the film a secret masterpiece.
fun, about
The Judge:
Three minutes in, a supposedly serious drama opens with Downey peeing on David Krumholtz at a urinal, complete with an insert shot of urine on polished shoes. The hosts treat this as the first sign the director cannot stop being a Dobkin comedy director.
“Minute 3 of the movie, it's a drama. Rardine Jr., an adult male is peeing on another adult male”
fun, about
The Judge (trailer):
The trailer bills Downey, Duvall, Farmiga and D'Onofrio as Academy Award nominees or winners, leaving Billy Bob Thornton the only name with an empty title card.
“There are 5 names and he's the only one who gets nothing. His title card looks so naked.”
fun, about
Dax Shepard:
His Judge character is so afraid of cross-examining in court that he vomits before each appearance, and one host calls him the best character in the film.
“He's a man with such intense stage fight when it comes to performing in chlorate that he vomits extensively every time before.”
fun, about
Robert Duvall:
Duvall is such a classic Duvall that the hosts would rather see a movie of him as a Judge Judy-style town judge, even a reality show.
“I would go show up to watch him, dude. I would watch the reality show.”
fun, about
David Dobkin:
Bar mitzvah analogy: Dobkin plays it solemn like a 13-year-old reading from the Torah to prove he is a man, then slips back into pee jokes at the party.
“It feels like the way that 13 year old boys have to act during their bar mitzvah, during the actual service in the Torah portion where they really have to put on the ears that they are now a man.”
fun, about
The Judge:
The shower scene: Downey hoses a soiled Duvall down with a handheld shower head, and the only shot they can't forget is the stained legs and the drain.
“you just see shit running down his legs down the drain.”
fun, about
The Judge:
The Judge was Griffin's SAG screener and David's last Oscar-year completism watch; a 'Judging the Judge' sequel joke runs through the intro and outro.
fun, about
Oz the Great and Powerful:
Griffin claims Zach Braff is funny in it as a porcelain monkey in a bellhop uniform; David refuses to give him that one.
fun, about
Dick (1999) weekend:
The first weekend of August 1999 was Griffin's favorite box office weekend: Iron Giant, Mystery Men, and Dick all bombed while The Sixth Sense won; Dick opened outside the top ten.
“It is a dick, which opened outside of the top 10.”