Loves Marvel's cosmic, ragtag-team side and the animated Rocket/Groot heart; affectionate about the sillier comic characters. Dislikes humorless gray franchise filmmaking and bad needle drops. A sucker for a ragtag group, a Trek-style space comedy, and a Han Solo type inside an ensemble. Speaker attribution in this transcript is uncertain.
Stances
Gunn is a real filmmaker who won his arguments with Marvel
Quill is the best Han Solo since Han Solo
Rocket and Groot are one of the best big/small duos
Humor: Talks in self-aware bits (the countdown clock, chronic lateness) and makes dirty-minded pile-ons with the room.
In their words
“I just don't get how, like, people saw this movie who had not seen every Marvel movie for sure.” (0:24:45)
“That's the other big thing is that gun was a troma guy.” (0:36:18)
Marvel completist who loves the series' smaller character beats (Agent Carter, Peggy, Falcon, Sam Jackson's Fury) and defends Infinity War. Loves action built from hand-to-hand fights and movie-star dialogue scenes. Allergic to bad-faith villain motives and to the cheap CGI leaps. Suckers for old tech, spy-bureaucracy aesthetic and New Hollywood stars.
Stances
Winter Soldier is great until the final Helicarrier act
Prefers small-scale hand-to-hand action to CGI set pieces
Loves Agent Carter and wants it back
Mild on Bucky/Winter Soldier himself
Humor: Rapid riffs, character voices, self-deprecating anecdotes and overlong running bits that derail the commentary.
In their words
“I just love this sequence” (0:08:33)
“I think this movie's basically terrific until the final seppies” (0:12:41)
Loves lore-heavy, dorky, earnest sci-fi fantasy with real sets, tactile design and a spaceship in it; likes the Thor mythos and Sif. Dislikes things that mock their own source material (Ragnarok) and thinks the first Thor is too clean. A sucker for spectacle that dumps lore on a simple hero's journey.
Stances
Dark World is the most underappreciated Marvel film
Ragnarok disrespects the mythos
Practical, tactile design beats cartoony CGI
Humor: Rapid riffing wordplay and long running bits (Tony Lip as pizza), eagerly undercutting his own sincerity.
In their words
“I'm defenseless before any dizzyingly silly sci-fi epic that downloads gigabytes of lore into the viewer's brain by means of a simple hero's journey narrative.” (1:38:17)
Loves Iron Man 3 as his favorite MCU film for its character study and how it turns superhero loneliness into anxiety and panic. Collects $20 off-the-shelf action figures and Hot Toys Robocop, and cherishes buddy-cop 80s action and well-built set pieces. Dislikes suits that are just mush CGI and wet-cement final fights.
Stances
Iron Man 3 is a masterpiece and anyone who dislikes it is wrong
Tony should be out of the suit; the film works because he is not Iron Man for most of it
Marvel should have let the Rebecca Hall villain stand
Loves Whedon-era dialogue, Buffy and Firefly, Kenneth Lonergan, and character-driven ensemble action; sucker for actors having fun and clever setups paid off. Dislikes homogenized Marvel visuals, rock-song tags, and Grindelwald's Crimes. Allergic to a Christmas tree and moose.
Stances
Whedon's script is the star; the film is not visually distinguished
Ruffalo is the movie's best performance
Costume detail (neckcloth) bothers him
Grindelwald should be as fun as Loki
Humor: Spends bits on celebrity impressions (Downey, Timberlake, Tom Waits) and mock-pompous asides.
In their words
“I'm still like a big Buffy fan, a big old-fashioned Wii. I love Firefly, right?” (0:04:21)
“This is what I want Grindewald to be like...” (0:40:51)
He loves heightened-but-not-kitschy design, period movies, Peggy Carter, and actors who underplay. He is a sucker for old-fashioned adventure and a Fantastic Four fan. He doesn't like the reasonable-Nazi Zola or the digital-video look of early-2010s effects.
Stances
The film feels like it ends in the middle
Bucky does not work as an emotional anchor
Actors' behavior in food scenes reveals pros from novices
Humor: Self-deprecating personal stories, about being 90 pounds and eating four cheeseburgers at his Disney store job.
In their words
“I was so grossly underweight and I felt like it was a hindrance to my career because I looked skeleton.” (0:18:15)
A Masters of the Universe devotee who reaches for He-Man as the template for Thor, loves the hammer payoff, and is a sucker for Cat Dennings and Sif. Dislikes the desaturated palette and the cheap-looking Jotunheim. Has the clearest pop-culture and actor-career recall, with skits and personal anecdotes.
Stances
Thor is a remake of Masters of the Universe
The movie looks ugly and desaturated
Hemsworth's performance and chemistry work
Not yet sold on Thor as a character until Avengers and Dark World
Humor: Escalating bits that run for minutes, like the Skarsgard-nudity search and buried jeans.
In their words
“It's mostly just a remake of the live action masters of the universe movie.” (0:03:54)
“I'm searching Stellen Starsgard full frontal nudity.” (1:12:14)
Loves comic-book lore (Crimson Dynamo, Demon in a Bottle) and Iron Man 3, Galaxy Quest, Garry Shandling. Cannot stand a movie that pads out its middle with self-impressed banter. A sucker for Tartakovsky action.
Stances
Iron Man 3 is the great Iron Man movie
Iron Man 2 mistakes riffing for story
Dark World is a joke best American film
Humor: Riffs and impressions, pumps up bits like the Expo is an element.
In their words
“Iron Man 3 is the greatest movie ever made.” (0:25:19)
“I love Larry Sanders too, but it's Gary Shandling show is like my favorite.” (1:30:55)
Loves Ang Lee's Hulk and is quick to defend Iron Man 2's ambitions; hates bad CGI faces and generic action presets; a sucker for chain restaurants, pizza and Marvel lore.
Stances
Ang Lee's Hulk is good and this one is a corrective with no point
Edward Norton is miscast and unengaged
Iron Man 2 fails more interestingly
Humor: Absurdist riffing, sung bits, and escalating food and chain-restaurant tangents.
Loves Marvel comics deeply (Ultimate line, Ms. Marvel, Franklin Richards), actor-driven performances, and looseness; hates a studio-polished formula and a reporter sleeping with the subject trope. A sucker for comic-book film process scenes, the Comic-Con trailer era, and the Tick.
Stances
Iron Man is solid but not beloved; the post-credits Fury scene blew his mind
Prefers Iron Man's visible machinery to nanobite suits
Thinks Infinity War is a triumph, others disagree
Humor: Riffs and bits about his own history (Times Square apartment, 99-cent pizza, Avatar audition).
In their words
“I remember liking this movie. I didn't love it, but I remember feeling... Oh, I fucking loved this movie.” (1:13:42)
Obsessive about National Treasure and the minutiae of movie culture, and a Nancy Meyers admirer who frames her as a souffle filmmaker. Cares about Oscar-season lore and montages. Likes that Nicholson is vulnerable and unvain in this film.
Stances
Nancy Meyers is a souffle filmmaker whose perfectionism serves a fantasy for the audience (attributed at moderate confidence)
The film is a deconstruction of Nicholson's persona and aged better than It's Complicated (speaker uncertain)
Humor: Fast riffing and bits (Keanu impression, Transformers totems), plus running gags about Brenton Thwaites and National Treasure 3.
In their words
“Interesting bringing that up because I'm going to actually draw a big national treasure parallel in this episode to something that's got to give.” (0:11:12)
“And I feel like Nancy is like a souffle filmmaker” (1:33:22)
Loves high-concept, big-swing filmmaking and sees deep emotion in the fights of CTHD; adores sword-and-flight spectacle, dumb-sweet characters like Inspector Tsai, and Lady Bird comparisons. Can't stand Brett Ratner and tired-looking Marvel fights; a sucker for bit-heavy tangents.
Stances
CTHD's fights carry story and character
US action movies are bad because they lack talent and time
Disliked CTHD at 11, later realized it is great
Humor: Escalating riffs and callbacks, crude and silly puns, voices.
In their words
“I was so literal minded where I was like, but they don't explain why they can fly.” (0:17:40)
“11 year old Griffin was laughing and like 29 year old Griffin was crying.” (1:00:34)
Loves The Ice Storm and defends Hulk-era Ang Lee; treats it as a sad Fantastic Four movie. Hates the see-the-ending-first structure in general. A sucker for Elliott Gould and comic-book metaphors.
Stances
Ice Storm is a masterpiece and the best Lee film not starring a Marvel hero
Fantastic Four deserves a sad, isolated, family movie
Dislikes in-media-res openings but accepts this one
Humor: Dry riffing, running bits, and confessional anecdotes about his own near-misses.
In their words
“He put his hand on my shoulder and he went, you're family.” (0:29:17)
“this movie does make me wish that he gotten the chance to make a sad, fantastic four movie.” (1:34:30)
Loves Bigelow's tension and iconography, and Curtis's grounded, empathetic underplaying. Dislikes Mother!'s lack of an anchor. A sucker for character actors and the way a movie's scenes hold the whole thing in micro.
Stances
Blue Steel is top-tier Bigelow and a rediscovery candidate
The movie is about gender and tension, and every scene plays differently if she were a man
Humor: Riffs on nicknames and bits, running gags like 'David and I' variations.
In their words
“My father's a professor at NYU, and he needed guest speakers, and so we talked about podcasting to his class.” (0:26:44)
Loves the film's loneliness and the hardcore Crowe-ness; he's a defender of this movie after rewatching, gives it A minus or B plus. Can't stand the way Cruz is shoved into a romance with no chemistry. A sucker for Kurt Russell, Jason Lee and a good bit.
Stances
Vanilla Sky is the loneliest movie ever made
Defends the movie after first seeing it two years ago on Netflix
Is going through a breakup and keeps working it into the episode
Humor: Self-lacerating, prop comedy and long running bits (sunglasses, catchphrases).
In their words
“It's the loneliest movie ever made.” (0:34:00)
“I'm going through a psychological free fall.” (0:00:55)
Attribution to Griffin versus David is low-confidence (no labels). One host loves Muppets and puppetry and rewatched this on video as a child; the same side loses patience over CGI special-edition changes and the Marcia Lucas theory. Likes conclusions and wrapped-up stories; can't stand Lucas's digital embellishments.
Stances
Special-edition CGI additions hurt Jedi most
Puppets and practical creatures are the movie's strength
Lucas is a sympathetic, wounded figure
Humor: Escalating comic fury, bits about the Empire as a workplace comedy and Santa-hat table dressing.
In their words
“I fucking love Muppets, as you know.” (0:09:53)
“I think the puppetry's so good.” (0:57:07)
Their shows' recurring bits
Running bits, not opinions; a critic read aloud is cited, not present.
The Big Picture
Drafts: Hosts and guests draft films in rounds; every pick is a recommendation with an argument.
Hall of Fame: A star's or director's best, ranked and argued.
Countdowns: Ranked lists, top five or top ten.
Blank Check with Griffin & David
The box office game: Guessing the film's opening weekend and what it was up against.
The sung theme: "Blank Check with Griffin and David", sung; the transcriber garbles it.
Their claims
Showing 801–900 of 1,162 claims.
craft (craft):
Old Dogs → Chariots of Fire.
The pioneer-weekend games use the Chariots of Fire theme as a gag for audiences who know it.
lineage (lineage):
Old Dogs → Moonrise Kingdom.
A host jokes that Moonrise Kingdom, three years later, is what made scouts cool, after the Old Dogs scout weekend.
“So you're saying Moonrise Kingdom made scouts cooling?”
theme (theme):
Old Dogs → Friday the 13th (parts 1-3).
The kids' Friday the 13th rule joke pays off in the film: they watch part three because Jason does not wear the mask until then.
“But this is not parts one or two because Jason doesn't wear the mask till three.”
programming (programming):
Old Dogs → Tangled.
Disney released Tangled the next year on the same Thanksgiving weekend, which became its animated slot (Frozen, Moana).
“A year later, they released Tangled the same weekend, and then this becomes the weekend they released their biggest animated film of the year.”
programming (programming):
Old Dogs → The Twilight Saga: New Moon.
Old Dogs opened fourth, behind New Moon in its second week, The Blind Side and 2012.
people (people):
A Christmas Carol → Robert Zemeckis.
The box office quiz answer, a 2009 holiday film in a director miniseries, is Zemeckis' A Christmas Carol.
lineage (lineage):
The Batman → Batman Forever / Batman & Robin.
Griffin says Schumacher's Batman films are directly shaped by the Adam West show's pairing and cliffhanger style.
“Joel Schumacher is very influenced by the Adam West show.”
lineage (lineage):
The Dark Knight Rises → Tim Drake.
Nolan's Robin take is basically Tim Drake, and a speaker wishes it had been 10 percent more obvious.
“And I wish Nolan had just gone 10%, you know, more obvious with it.”
contrast (contrast):
The Batman → Spider-Man (franchise).
Spider-Man has the second-best rogues gallery but its villains read as criminals with a gimmick, while Batman villains are insane.
lineage (lineage):
The Batman → Batman Forever.
Burton had a plane and a boat which Schumacher updated in Batman Forever; Batman & Robin gave Robin a motorcycle.
programming (programming):
The Batman → The Sound of Music.
A UK sing-along Sound of Music (Prince Charles Theater) turned into a Rocky Horror-style costume event.
industry (industry):
Summit Entertainment → Bill Condon.
Summit met Bill Condon, Gus Van Sant and Sofia Coppola to tackle the last two films (Breaking Dawn split in two); Condon got the job.
“the 3 people Summit met with to tackle the last 2 movies, the one book split into two, were Bill Condon”
craft (craft):
The Twilight Saga: Eclipse → The Twilight Saga: New Moon.
Eclipse was shot by Javier Aguirresarobe, who also shot New Moon, and the speakers find Eclipse similar-looking to New Moon, only more lush and autumnal.
“Uh, Javier, Agriaska Robe. I, you know, I, I, who shot New Moon.”
programming (programming):
John Carpenter → Danny DeVito.
Carpenter win means 18 weeks of scheduling; DeVito means about 6 weeks, leaving room for more miniseries.
“Some people want someone like Carpenter to win so they can control 18 weeks of our scheduling.”
lineage (lineage):
Alien: Covenant → Prometheus.
Covenant is half the Prometheus sequel Scott wanted and half a concession to a more normal Alien movie.
“this is half, like Ridley Scott doing the Prometheus sequel he wanted to do and half”
industry (industry):
Alien: Covenant → Prometheus.
Prometheus's marketing left it unclear whether it was an Alien film; Covenant's marketing was the opposite, selling the Alien iconography.
“how much of this is going to be directly an alien franchise film or not”
contrast (contrast):
Alien: Covenant → Alien.
Alien films usually give a calm before the storm in hypersleep; Covenant throws you straight into trauma.
“rather than ever getting the sort of calm before the storm that you usually get an alien movies”
career (career):
Danny McBride → Halloween (franchise).
After this he moved into the Halloween franchise and HBO series to make the genre work he wanted.
“And then after this, he's like, I'm the Halloween guy.”
craft (craft):
Alien: Covenant → The Lord of the Rings.
New Zealand locations can't replicate what Peter Jackson did with it in Lord of the Rings, but still look like a newer earth.
“you can never replicate the total stunning magic trick of Peter Jackson, like deploying it in Lord of the Rings”
contrast (contrast):
Alien: Covenant → H.R. Giger.
The neomorph in Covenant lacks the Giger biomechanical kibble, with a more human, translucent-skinned look.
“He does not have all of the HR Geiger biomechanical kibble all over his body.”
craft (craft):
Alien: Covenant → The Hobbit films.
Acting to tennis balls on a green screen was exhausting for The Tick, and people say it was easy because of the Hobbit movies.
“they do this shit with like the Hobbit movies, right?”
programming (programming):
Crocodile Dundee → Crocodile Dundee II.
Next Patreon miniseries: the three Crocodile Dundee films, skipping a made-up Great Mr. Dundee.
career (career):
Jean-Pierre Jeunet → Delicatessen.
Griffin was shown Delicatessen and City of Lost Children by his French mother before Resurrection let him down.
“She had absolutely made me watch, uh, Delicatessen and City of Lost Children at this point”
programming (programming):
The Hunchback of Notre Dame → Lon Chaney.
Griffin pitches a Patreon series doing all the Hunchback of Notre Dame movies, including the Lon Chaney version.
fun, about
David Fincher:
Told by the Paramount president that nobody would give him $400,000 for a first picture, Fincher answered with a joke about a 40-minute movie.
fun, about
Brian Glover:
The warden actor was a professional wrestler (the Red Devil, then Leon Arras the man from Paris) and the crew adored him on set.
fun, about
David Fincher:
In a behind-the-scenes clip on the Panic Room DVD, Fincher gives notes over the previs in real time, never waiting for it to finish.
“he is nonstop just going like, that needs to be 2 inches lower.”
fun, about
Joel Schumacher:
After Fincher showed him the cut, Schumacher said aiming high means disappointment, and that caring puts you at the mercy of people who don't.
“you put yourself in a position where they have more power than you because you care and they don't.”
fun, about
Alien 3:
A pricey makeup bald cap cost about $20 grand because re-cutting Weaver's hair would have cost about $40 grand; when they needed it again, they found it in a pile.
“So instead, they paid like 20 grand to make the world's most advanced makeup bald cap.”
fun, about
The Nightmare Before Christmas:
Hot Topic reclaimed the weird Disney movie: Disney did not want it, released it under Touchstone, and now Hot Topic mostly sells Disney merchandise.
fun, about
Michael McDowell:
Per a Caroline Thompson interview, McDowell delivered only the Elfman lyrics reformatted as a screenplay; she said he had 'snorted his salary'.
“She put it, quote, that he had snorted his salary”
fun, about
The Nightmare Before Christmas:
Development was backwards: Burton's poem, Elfman writing songs from story beats, then Thompson writing a script to fill the gaps; animation started before a script.
“But they are animating this movie before they have a script.”
fun, about
The Nightmare Before Christmas:
Title card shot with candy corn letters before Burton's name was added late; Selick says he understands it and will rue it until he dies.
“I understand it, and I will rue it until the day I die.”
fun, about
Chris Sarandon:
The speaking Jack may be the most enunciated performance in movie history; Elfman sings, Sarandon speaks, causing a lasting rift.
“this like caused a rift between Selleck and Elfman that like lasted for forever.”
fun, about
Vincent Price:
Vincent Price was recorded as Santa but had just lost his wife and it didn't work; Don Ameche was 'insanely grouchy'; James Earl Jones shouted 'you don't know me'.
fun, about
The Nightmare Before Christmas:
Griffin's mom would not let him see it in theaters, so he got toys first; a lighting-fixture store near his school sold only lamps and Nightmare toys.
“the only thing they sold aside from lamps was a nightmare before Christmas toys.”
fun, about
Mike Flanagan:
Flanagan wrote the bar scene before the script and sent it to King as proof of concept; a host jokes he slipped a $20 in the pages.
fun, about
Jacob Tremblay:
Flanagan quote read aloud: after the harrowing scene Tremblay hopped up, high-fived his dad and got a candy bar from craft services.
“And then Jacob just hopped up, brushed himself off, high-fived his dad, went and got a candy bar from craft services, and the rest of us couldn't even blink.”
fun, about
Full Metal Jacket:
The 3000 open video auditions produced a viral clip of a man at a Sears with a ladder saying hello Mr. Kubrick.
“This was an early case of letting people submit auditions through videotape, like having a pretty open audition because they needed young people and they got 3000 submissions.”
fun, about
R. Lee Ermey:
Legend: Kubrick saw a video of Ermey rattling off insults while being pelted with tennis balls and oranges, never breaking.
“There's like this legend that there's this video of Arli Ermy that Kubrick saw of him rattling off all these like insults and scream while being like pelted with tennis balls and oranges and never and never breaking.”
fun, about
Matthew Modine:
Modine's joke to Kubrick: Spielberg meets a bearded man in heaven who thinks he is Kubrick but is God, and Kubrick liked it.
fun, about
Stanley Kubrick:
Kubrick had his secretary bring him stacks of bestselling horror novels and she heard a book hit the wall every ten minutes until the day she heard nothing for two hours.
“every 10 minutes she'd hear a book hit the wall.”
fun, about
Stanley Kubrick:
On the phone, Kubrick told King the idea of a ghost is optimistic because it presupposes an afterlife, and answered King's question about hell with a flat denial.
fun, about
2001: A Space Odyssey:
Nolan's IMAX re-release was deliberately demastered to look yellowed and imperfect, how he remembered seeing it as a child.
fun, about
Stanley Kubrick:
Kubrick on why he did not want drugs to be the source of the film, as read from the dossier.
“I think that the illusion of oneness with the universe and absorption with the significance of every object in your environment and the pervasive aura of peace and contentment is not the ideal state for an artist.”
fun, about
Dr. Strangelove:
AFI's 100 Years 100 Laughs ranked Strangelove third, behind Tootsie and Some Like It Hot, and Blockbuster displayed the tapes together.
“I watched this because AFI in the year 2000 did their 100 years, 100 laughs”
fun, about
Saving Private Ryan:
Griffin avoided it his whole life, took six hours to finish for the podcast, loved it, owns it on steelbook, will never rewatch.
fun, about
The Killing:
A working title for the film was Bed of Fear, which sets Patton off on his Deathbed routine.
“But one of the titles, one of the working titles that apparently was close to happening for this movie, I don't know if you know this, was bed of fear.”
fun, about
Die Hard:
Sinatra's Detective rights gave him first refusal on follow-ups, so Fox had to offer Die Hard to him first; the speaker pictures the call.
“I just like imagining whoever the Fox exec was who was like, hey, Frank, I'm just calling so you can tell me to fuck off.”
fun, about
Timothy Carey:
His image from The Killing turns up on the Sgt. Pepper outtake photos behind George Harrison, though the speaker concedes it may not be the final cover.
“Sag had no cause projection, but apparently he's also in his image from the killing is on the Sergeant Pepper cover behind George Harrison.”
fun, about
The Killing:
Ben texts that if he were in a heist movie where people fuck it up, he would have pulled it off and ended on a tropical island.
“Anytime Ben watches a heist movie in which people fuck it up.”
fun, about
The Lego Batman Movie:
Griffin's thesis: the best narrative ever built around Batman, with the most complete understanding of him as a character.
“I think this is the best narrative that has ever been constructed around Batman”
fun, about
The Lego Batman Movie:
The villains list: Conan O'Brien as the Riddler, Mantzoukas as Scarecrow, Garfunkel and Oats as Poison Ivy and Clayface, Doug Benson as Bane.
fun, about
The Lego Batman Movie:
Watch the scene where Batman microwaves lobster Thermidor, types 20 minutes, and corrects himself; the hosts also like the lighting of the microwave.
“And then he types 20 and then he goes, not 20 minutes stupid.”