Prizes practical blockbuster filmmaking, big star performances and Scorsese-era craft; an unabashed defender of late-period Ridley Scott. Dislikes messy modern blockbuster scripts and over-reliance on CGI. A sucker for Denzel and for horror and sci-fi legacy sequels.
Stances
Was entertained but rates Gladiator II well below the original
Denzel Washington is the reason to rewatch it
The film wanted the original's pyramid structure without doing something different
Wanted Gladiator II to have the guts of Before Midnight
Humor: Mock-aggrieved nitpicking and tangents about food, friends and money.
In their words
“I was entertained.” (0:13:17)
“I'm mostly in the bag for everything he does.” (1:12:12)
The most openly critical voice on Babylon: admires the virtuosity but says the opening party rings hollow, and that the film holds together less well than he remembered. Relates to P.J. Byrne's character. Fan of scene-level filmmaking, Brad Pitt's persona work, golf and public courses, and menswear (J. Crew, Uniqlo). Sucker for bits like Trump impressions and Zyn.
Stances
Babylon is a collection of great scenes that does not quite congeal
Hive-adjacent, not in the hive
Seeing movies in theaters with a crowd adds to the experience
Humor: Slow-burn self-deprecation and bit commitment (the Zyn pouch, Trump voice, the J. Crew detour).
In their words
“and it rings hollow to me, which is perhaps the point” (0:26:34)
“The scenes the individual scenes are popping, but the actual movie is maybe not holding together as well as it did in the theater that I remember.” (2:12:00)
Heat is his number one and Manhunter his yearly rewatch; likes messy reclamation projects like Miami Vice. Loves Ferrari and thinks Mann went out on a high note. Big on the 'fusion' of classical and digital Mann.
Stances
Ferrari is a deeply satisfying film in his top five of the year
Miami Vice's mess is the point
Mann's themes are men and their obsessions
Humor: Grand and self-mocking, with extended comic metaphors.
In their words
“I'll never give birth, but it's the closest. It's what I imagine it's like.” (0:03:50)
Loves being manipulated by filmmakers and Fincher's subjective craft; adores the Smiths-as-joke and the sound design. Reads the film as the ultimate control-freak movie and Swinton's character as the life the killer could not have. Dislikes nothing here and calls it possibly his favorite movie of the year.
Stances
Fassbender's killer is an unreliable narrator lying to himself
The film is about the fallacy of control
The killer kills Swinton because she has a normal life
Humor: Excitable and self-aware, jokes about shaking in his chair and fashion and food habits.
In their words
“I love being manipulated by filmmakers.” (0:05:42)
“I think he killed her because no loose ends.” (0:44:38)
Loves big-screen Hollywood entertainment and communal theatrical experiences, with a horror streak (Barbarian, Speak No Evil). Loves Cate Blanchett, Martin McDonagh and Top Gun: Maverick as his number one. Admits being a little embarrassed by how populist his list is.
Stances
Hollywood theatrical experiences fired him up this year
Speak No Evil is the most effective horror film of the year
Top Gun: Maverick delivered after two years of hype and is better than the original
Humor: Boisterous and profane; fond of analogies like Stairway to Heaven and quoting Boogie Nights.
In their words
“I'm almost like at once defiantly excited about my list, but a little bit embarrassed by it.” (0:23:50)
“And it still fucking rocks.” (1:26:04)
“it's probably the most effective horror movie I've seen this year.” (0:48:20)
Loves The Firm, Collateral, Edge of Tomorrow and a Hollywood ensemble movie; thinks Born is Cruise's best performance and Jerry Maguire his most appealing.
Stances
Pushes for The Firm
Cruise now treats himself as the Rock
Fallout is exceptional
Humor: Big physical impressions and dad-style tangents; keeps asking about the rules.
In their words
“I am going to say the firm just because I also think that that is in a lot of ways, like among the best casts he's ever been a part of.” (0:40:33)
He loves cheap, anxiety-heavy genre pieces, B-minus horror movies and anything that makes him squeeze the popcorn box. He picked events that freaked him out over big hits, leaving Get Out and the Blumhouse hits off his top five. He can't stand Black Swan-style foot-breaking discomfort and doubts that Cabin in the Woods is scary at all.
Stances
Horror should dominate the audience
Genre lines (thriller, horror, terror) matter
Directors drift away from horror naturally
The B-minus horror movie is the best B movie
Humor: Cheerful self-deprecation and tangents, such as confessing to spoiling Cabin in the Woods in an NBA post.
In their words
“The B minus version of a horror movie is my favorite kind of B minus movie.” (0:34:47)
“I like that, I like feeling things.” (0:52:03)
“I spoiled Cabin in the Woods in like an NBA blog post for like 1000s of people.” (0:41:38)
A TV-first critic who came to Disney through Marvel and Star Wars rather than the legacy titles, and who loves teen entertainment and character actors such as Mark Maron. Dislikes late revival movies and fan-service compression; a sucker for crowd-roar moments like the Endgame hammer.
Stances
Will send his streaming money elsewhere than Disney+
Skeptical of Eternals and of revival movies
Counterprogramming may be dead
Moviegoing is about circumstances and shared reactions
Humor: Wry and conversational, setting up riffs such as the 1992 podcast called Smells Like Teen Spirit.
In their words
“And I will be sending my streaming money elsewhere.” (0:02:08)
“I think he takes his craft really seriously.” (0:19:29)
Reveres Spielberg's craft (lighting, camera movement, editing, music) and calls him a film school; picks Empire of the Sun as a personal favorite. Loves rewatchable, tightly made movies like Jaws, Raiders, and Jurassic Park and likes Munich, A.I., and Tom Cruise in War of the Worlds. Cold on Spielberg's explicit kids' movies.
Stances
Spielberg is his film school
Jaws is the perfect movie
Spielberg's kid-targeted films (Tintin, BFG) don't work
Munich's opening is the best
Humor: Warm, enthusiastic riffing and impressions; walks the line between sincere and goofy.
In their words
“It's my film school.” (0:03:04)
“Jaws is a perfect movie.” (0:35:06)
Their shows' recurring bits
Running bits, not opinions; a critic read aloud is cited, not present.
The Big Picture
Drafts: Hosts and guests draft films in rounds; every pick is a recommendation with an argument.
Hall of Fame: A star's or director's best, ranked and argued.
Countdowns: Ranked lists, top five or top ten.
Blank Check with Griffin & David
The box office game: Guessing the film's opening weekend and what it was up against.
The sung theme: "Blank Check with Griffin and David", sung; the transcriber garbles it.
The Rewatchables
Apex Mountain: The moment a star peaks; where on the mountain a performance sits.
Who Won the Movie: The hosts name the person who came out of the film best off.
The Ebert review: Roger Ebert's original review and star rating read aloud. Ebert is cited, never on the show.
Casting what-ifs: Who was almost cast, or who should have been.
Most rewatchable scene: The scene each host would stop on while flipping channels.
Aged best / aged worst: What holds up and what does not.
Picking Nits: The little things in a film the hosts love that they don't think totally work: the nits.
Double feature: The film each host would pair it with; a programming pick.
Their claims
Showing 101–200 of 854 claims.
what-if (what-if):
Species → The Sopranos.
As a 1995 HBO one-hour drama, Species would have predated The Sopranos (99) and Oz (97).
what-if (what-if):
Arnold Schwarzenegger → Species.
Schwarzenegger was briefly interested, but the budget could not afford him; the panel imagines him as Press Lennox or the empath.
“Arnold Schwarzenegger was briefly interested in the script, but the budget wouldn't allow him.”
contrast (contrast):
Rocky → The Godfather.
Structurally Rocky is like Godfather if it were all Michael and Kay's dates and the Don dies only in the last minutes; boxing barely appears until the last 13 minutes.
“imagine if Godfather was entirely about Kate and Michael not in New York City.”
theme (theme):
Rocky → Top Gun.
Rocky's urban portrait of American life gave way in the Karate Kid, Hughes and Top Gun era to safer, cleaner suburban stories.
“It's just a much different portrait of like American life because this is so urban.”
what-if (what-if):
Sylvester Stallone → Good Will Hunting.
Asked whether Damon and Affleck's Good Will Hunting is the same make-your-own-movie story; the difference is they'd been in movies already.
“Would Good Wolf Hunting be in the same mode of a movie where the guys just went, fuck it, we're going to make our own movie and explodes?”
career (career):
Sylvester Stallone → On the Waterfront.
Stallone may have wished to make more movies like On the Waterfront than the franchises that became golden handcuffs.
“I would have liked to have made more movies that are like on the waterfront or whatever”
career (career):
Sylvester Stallone → Rocky III.
Stallone's best A-list run came with Rocky 3 and First Blood in the same year, a roughly six-year run.
“He has one of the best, probably 6 year A-list movie star runs ever.”
career (career):
Sylvester Stallone → Nighthawks.
After Rocky he tried to separate from the character: beard in Nighthawks, big weight loss in Victory.
“You know, like he's in Nighthawks, he grew a beard.”
lineage (lineage):
Rocky → Cinderella Man.
Rocky set up the idea that a victory transforms the supporting cast too, as in Cinderella Man where he fights for Giamatti.
“by the time you get to like Cinderella man, you realize that he's not just fighting for him, he's fighting for Giamatti.”
verdict (verdict):
Rocky → Network.
Network is also called really great in the 1976 best-picture relitigation; one host thinks Holden is better than Finch in it.
lineage (lineage):
Twister → Jurassic Park.
Twister is aesthetically closer to Jurassic Park than to superhero movies, prizing intelligence over strength and wonder over fixing things.
“I think it's more aesthetically closer to like Jurassic Park.”
people (people):
Twister → Steven Spielberg.
Spielberg executive produced and Amblin is a production company, giving the film a wide-eyed wonder-and-fear Spielberg feel.
industry (industry):
Twister → Industrial Light & Magic.
The movie was built out of an ILM proof-of-concept clip of a pickup truck driving toward a tornado.
“It was a proof of concept clip from Industrial Light Magic”
career (career):
Bill Paxton → Trespass.
Trespass, with Ice-T and Ice Cube, is cited as a high-concept treasure-hunt movie that feels important and is probably on Tubi.
what-if (what-if):
Bill Paxton → George Clooney.
Chris argues Paxton could have led Out of Sight instead of Clooney; Van counters that Paxton lacks the movie-star magnetism for the trunk scene with J.Lo.
“I think he could have been the lead guy and out of sight instead of Clooney and out of sight.”
career (career):
Helen Hunt → As Good as It Gets.
Helen Hunt's run from Kiss of Death and Twister to winning an Oscar for As Good as It Gets was an unexpected shoot to the A-list.
“And then she wins an Oscar for as good as it gets.”
career (career):
Philip Seymour Hoffman → The Talented Mr. Ripley.
Hoffman's trajectory: Scent of a Woman, then Boogie Nights, then Ripley as the exclamation point that confirmed a real actor.
people (people):
Twister → Jan de Bont.
De Bont is introduced as Chris's guy: DP on Die Hard, director of Speed, a hard-charging efficient director the crew hated.
people (people):
Jack Green → Jan de Bont.
Green, the replacement DP, was injured two days from the end and de Bont, the director, had to take over the photography himself.
theme (theme):
Twister → The Amityville Horror.
Going back for the dog in the opening scene echoes Amityville Horror, which Bill says has the best version of the leave-the-dog trope.
craft (craft):
Twister → Goo Goo Dolls.
The soundtrack was built from songs people were asked to make for the movie; the Goo Goo Dolls track is judged the better song than Tori Amos's contribution.
“Long way down by Goo Goo Dolls is the better song.”
theme (theme):
Twister → Sleepless in Seattle.
Dr. Melissa is the stable fiance archetype that rom-coms usually give to the guy, like Bill Pullman in Sleepless in Seattle and Greg Kinnear in You've Got Mail.
“It's like Bill Palman in Seattle and Greg Canair and you got mail.”
lineage (lineage):
Twister → The Poseidon Adventure.
Disaster movies had two golden runs, the 70s (Poseidon Adventure, Towering Inferno) and the 90s, and Twister belongs to the second.
“The 70s, we had this awesome run, Poseidon adventure and all those movies.”
what-if (what-if):
Twister → War of the Worlds.
A Tom Cruise Twister would be the grounded 90s movie he never made, until War of the Worlds years later.
“It's the movie Cruise never made in the 90s that he should have made.”
industry (industry):
Twister → Jurassic Park.
Marketing a disaster around unknown leads follows Jurassic Park, where Sam Neill and Laura Dern were known but not famous.
“coming off of Jurassic Park where it was like Sam Neil and Laura Dern were like well-known, but not famous.”
lineage (lineage):
Internal Affairs → The French Connection.
Dirty-cop movies trace back to the 70s classics, the French Connection and Serpico among them.
lineage (lineage):
Internal Affairs → Live and Die in L.A..
Bill places Internal Affairs alongside Live and Die in L.A. as a cool pre-Heat L.A. conflict movie.
“it's up there with like live and die in LA of like a really cool preheat LA conflict.”
contrast (contrast):
Training Day → Internal Affairs.
Training Day knows it is a different prism on dirty cops, while Internal Affairs treats a dirty cop as fun to watch.
“Yeah, training day is in a completely different prism and it knows that this movie is kind of like, ah, it's fun to watch Richard Gere be a dirty cop.”
contrast (contrast):
Internal Affairs → Bad Lieutenant.
Bad Lieutenant is the dirtiest cop ever but tries too hard to be deranged; Internal Affairs is deranged without trying.
“This movie is deranged, but it doesn't try too hard.”
career (career):
Mike Figgis → Neil Jordan.
Figgis is described as a provocative director working genre movies inside the system, like maybe Neil Jordan.
“There's not a lot of guys like him, like maybe Neil Jordan or somebody like that.”
lineage (lineage):
Internal Affairs → Bad Influence.
Bad Influence came out the same year and is similarly unhinged, part of an 89 to 91 run of dark sex-tinged movies.
“But there's like, because also bad influence with Rob Lowe and James Bader comes out this year.”
fun, about
Mission: Impossible:
The 32-minute Prague opening act ends with a fade to black after Cruise jumps through the aquarium and escapes Kittridge.
“that is presented as a 32 minute opening act, it even has a fade to black after Tom Cruise jumps through Aquarium”
fun, about
Mission: Impossible:
Casting what-ifs: Juliette Binoche turned down Claire so as not to be known for blockbusters; Peter Graves and Martin Landau passed after reading the script. Early drafts had sex scenes cut and a kiss in the trailer that is not in the film.
“There's actually a kiss in the trailer that they don't ever have.”
fun, about
Mission: Impossible:
Early Huyck/Katz draft opened with the original IMF team, including Peter Graves, killed on a mission, leaving Cruise to solve who did it.
“They were all to be killed, and that would leave Cruz behind to solve the, you know, who the mystery of who killed his his original team.”
fun, about
Jon Voight:
Looks fitter than ever on the train in the parachute suit; hosts debate whether it is a stunt double. Jim Phelps shooting Claire first makes no sense.
“I just didn't quite understand why Jim had to shoot Claire.”
fun, about
Brian De Palma:
Apex Mountain for De Palma goes to The Untouchables; for Ving Rhames it is not MI. Nobody gets MI as their apex; Czerny's is Clear and Present Danger.
fun, about
Mission: Impossible:
It marked the start of the Cruise/Wagner producing partnership (which later ended after taking over United Artists) and the end of Voight's good-movie run.
“It is the beginning of the Wagner cruise producing partnership, which is very powerful for a time and then ends quite badly when they take over United artists.”
fun, about
Martin Scorsese:
Scorsese won Best Picture and Director for it as a perceived make-up Oscar in a weak year; Wahlberg was the only cast member nominated.
“It was just a really, really, really, really bad movie year.”
fun, about
Jack Nicholson:
Nicholson reportedly wanted a prostitute scene with a dildo, was talked out of it, but kept the prop and ad-libbed it into the movie theater scene.
“he had some crazy hooker scene with dildos that he wanted to shoot and they talked him out of it”
fun, about
Ray Winstone:
The cranberry juice scene: Leo smashes a glass on a guy's head, then Winstone steps in and declares who you can and can't hit. Called a perfect movie scene.
fun, about
The Departed:
Ryan's overarching theory: Leo and Damon are two ways of living in America, compartmentalized ambition vs vulnerability, and America destroys both while guys like Dignam survive.
“either way, even no matter which road you choose, America will destroy you.”
fun, about
Noah Baumbach:
Leaving Netflix after four features in eight years for Warner Bros.' Clockwork; Sean wants to see directors out of the Netflix cocoon.
“there is a Netflix cocoon around a group of directors”
fun, about
Austin Abrams:
Reacts to killing like a player in a video game, not like a traumatized man; Chris compares it to playing Max Payne with caffeine and cigarettes.
“I've had 4 coffees over the course of the day and now I've had 3 beers”
fun, about
Resident Evil:
Brian shoots the bitten girl who turns into a lizard-footed tentacle monster, rather than becoming Lone Wolf and Cub; Sean wanted to applaud as the father of a daughter.
fun, about
Resident Evil:
The rat sequence: a huge zombie explodes into hundreds of rats; Chris's rat fear traces to New York apartment mice, and he is grateful they did not form a rat king.
fun, about
Resident Evil:
The maternity ward with a glowing bubble that Sean compared to a rising sourdough loaf, and which bursts into a log flume of blood.
fun, about
Resident Evil:
The ending has no happy ending: Abrams becomes a tentacled monster waving as a National Guard helicopter closes in, then a cut to black.
“this guy waving his tentacles in the air screaming as the National Guard helicopter is bearing down on him.”
fun, about
Resident Evil:
Box office tracking is $80 million worldwide for the opening weekend, huge for horror; Chris thinks $300 million domestic is possible.
“can this movie like realistically make $300000000 in America, I think it can.”
fun, about
Top Gun: Maverick:
Chris says the last 30 minutes, until the final 10, are perfect cinema, from leaving the battleship through the coffin run.
“the last 30 minutes up until the last 10 minutes are perfect cinema”
fun, about
The Batman:
Chris picks it because his favorite meme of the century is Paul Dano losing his mind behind the Arkham cell; Dano as the Riddler is a gift.
fun, about
Ambulance:
First half is Michael Bay doing Heat; the second half is one of the best chase movies of the century, with great defibrillator work.
“the 2nd half of this movie is one of the best chase movies that you will see this century.”
fun, about
Goodfellas:
Chris's first overall pick; Amanda says she would have taken it too, and Chris admits he never saw it in the theater, just on video soon after.
fun, about
The Cook, the Thief, His Wife & Her Lover:
Chris glimpsed the Gambon-Mirren dinner-table scene as a kid and his dad told him to just watch Goodfellas again.
fun, about
Gladiator:
Joaquin Phoenix's rise, Crowe's peak and patching together Oliver Reed's performance after his death made it lightning in a bottle.
“Like, you know, being able to patch together the Oliver Reed performance, even though he passes away during production.”
fun, about
Gladiator II:
The CGI baboons, rhinoceros and sharks were the least successful set pieces; the intimate fights, like the emperor's party, worked best.
fun, about
The Texas Chain Saw Massacre 2:
Chris pitches Part 2 as a slapstick comedy with Dennis Hopper, to be watched back to back with the original.
“You should watch them both back to back, but start at midnight.”
fun, about
Before Midnight:
Chris loves it as a brutal punch in the gut about long relationships; the Before trilogy is among his three favorite trilogies.
“this is such a punch in the gut, and I love that.”
fun, about
Babylon:
Critic's view of the closing montage: you can feel Chazelle searching for the ending in real time and deciding to throw in The Matrix and Avatar.
“And then he's like, well, I guess I'm just gonna like put the Matrix and Avatar in here and really go big.”
fun, about
David Fincher:
The Q&A team (Klyce, Messerschmidt, Baxter) answered every question with 'that was David's idea.' Walker said Fincher walked him through the whole movie when pitching it.
“every time they got asked a question, they would be like, that's David.”
fun, about
The Killer:
Scene to look for: the first hit scored to How Soon Is Now. Sound design flips between full stereo song and the song in the killer's headphones, pulling it away right at the Johnny Marr crescendo, refusing the viewer the cool-song kill.
“I was waiting my entire life to see someone get killed to how soon is now.”
fun, about
The Killer:
Chris Ryan's guess: the killer's favorite Smiths record is Hatful of Hollow or compilation 'Louder Than Bombs', not The Queen Is Dead; favorite Sub Pop band Mudhoney, maybe Tad.
fun, about
The Killer:
Product placement is deployed so precisely (the Amazon lockers, McDonald's, WeWork) that the hosts laughed at every logo; the film also makes a clinic of consumer-culture satire.
“every time there was a logo in this movie. I laughed because they were deployed so well.”
fun, about
Barbarian:
Chris says seeing it was like going to the movies in the 90s, knowing nothing and having your mind blown; Amanda has not seen it and threatens to call it mid.
“going to see movies in the 90s where you just don't know anything about it.”
fun, about
The Banshees of Inisherin:
Chris calls it Martin McDonagh's treatise on friendship and a meaningful life; his wife was not convinced by the screener he brought upstairs.
“To me, it's like a Martin McDonough's treatise on friendship, and it's his treatise on what makes a meaningful life.”
fun, about
Tár:
Chris watched three times: frustrated by the ending first, a blast second, and by the third he called it one of the great ones. He notes it will make under five million dollars.
fun, about
Top Gun: Maverick:
Chris saw it twice in theaters, twice on planes, once with two ex-naval pilots doing YouTube commentary, plus clips, and says it still rocks. A guy in the audience shouted a line of praise to Jon Hamm at the end.
“I'm never going to forget like the screenings I saw this, especially the dude at the end of this movie who went, great job, John Hamm.”
fun, about
Top Gun: Maverick:
Chris says the Who training sequence is what the song is for, not car commercials, and that the film is the one-in-137 time Stairway to Heaven's second half hits.
fun, about
A Few Good Men:
Chris points out that Cruise whispers his questions to Jessup in a courtroom where a jury would never hear, which only makes sense because it is a movie, though the script was written for the stage.
“there's multiple moments where he just starts whispering questions at him.”
fun, about
Mission: Impossible III:
Watch the scene where Philip Seymour Hoffman counts down with a gun to Keri Russell's head while Cruise says tell me what you need.
“Watch the scene where Philip Seymour Hoffman counts down while putting having a gun to carry Russell's head.”
fun, about
Jack Reacher:
Cruise is 5'8 and Reacher in the book is 6'6; Reacher gets built up like the Predator and then it's Tom Cruise in a leather jacket.
“Tom Cruise is 5'8 and Jack Reacher in the book is like 6'6.”
fun, about
Midsommar:
Chris's summary: Aster stuffed him in a bear carcass and played Jonny Greenwood strings until his eardrums exploded (composer named as said).
“Ari Astor stuffed me in a fucking bear carcass and played Johnny Greenwood strings in my, until my eardrums explode.”
fun, about
Unfriended:
The whole film plays on a laptop screen; Chris says it exhausts you because your brain tracks four panes of information at once.
“your brain can process 4 quadrants of information and can actually like listen to people while also watching a mouse clicking over different apps”
fun, about
Chris Ryan's top five:
Chris counts down his five best (Unfriended, You're Next, The Invitation, It Follows, Green Room), picking events that freaked him out rather than a bulletproof list.
“I did really pick horror movies that I thought were events.”
fun, about
You're Next:
An arrow through the window ends the first victim at a family reunion, in a mumblegore cast of Ti West, Joe Swanberg and Amy Seimetz.
fun, about
Marvel / Eternals:
Spider-Man gets a joke as a mythology: it is based on puberty, which everyone experiences, unlike the space-alien mythologies.
“Spider-Man is based on puberty, a mythology that we all have to experience.”
fun, about
Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark:
Chris campaigns for Austin Abrams, a teen-entertainment veteran who barely does interviews and takes his craft seriously, and will star in a Less Than Zero reboot.
fun, about
Godzilla: King of the Monsters:
A host was the King of the Monsters meme lord for two months and still never saw it; nobody they know did either.
fun, about
Star Wars: Episode IV – A New Hope:
Lucas and Spielberg each thought the other's film would do better and bet back-end points; Spielberg owns a piece of Star Wars.
“now he owns a small piece of the Lucas Empire because he won that wager.”