Actor-host with a deep interest in how TV pilots evolve and how Michael Mann's style bleeds into everything. Loves Thief best of Mann's work. Jokes about being unhireable and the Netflix job that vanished.
Stances
Thief is his top Mann film
Pilots that feel like complete little movies are best
Defends the guest Dana Stevens against Twitter critics
Humor: Self-deprecating, long bits about his own failed career and his mother's British ancestry.
In their words
“I think you were going to think my rankings are crazy.” (1:07:55)
Loves the original Planet of the Apes franchise and Tim Burton, and was a fan of the 2001 hype as a kid. Can't stand empty studio filmmaking with no point of view. A sucker for childhood fandom and memorabilia (action figures, Lisa Marie).
Stances
Burton's Apes is the first time a beloved director failed him
The makeup is the only thing worth praising
The film does not have a point of view
Humor: Self-deprecating nerd-confessional anecdotes and riffs on childhood devotion.
In their words
“I was like, peak Griff moving nerd fanaticism.” (0:16:56)
“I had all the action figures before the movie came out.” (0:18:01)
Appears to love specific film trivia and the New York of the film; teases about being downtown. Lines identified with him are low-confidence because the transcript has no speaker labels.
Stances
Recalls opening-weekend box office from memory
Lives and grew up near the film's downtown locations (inferred)
Humor: Dry bits and running gags; becomes 'Downtown Griffey Nooms' under the guest's teasing.
In their words
“I have a TV pair of glasses now.” (0:31:40)
“This is the game where I try to recall from memory the box office the weekend the movie open.” (1:57:23)
Blank Check with Griffin & David: Flesh+Blood (host)
Loves Verhoeven and says RoboCop, Toy Story 2 and Rushmore rank among his favorites. Worries about the Weinstein-era toxicity in this film. Fascinated by effects-driven classicism and by the Hauer/Verhoeven split.
Stances
Flesh+Blood is anthropological and fascinating but joyless
Verhoeven is a technical classicist smuggling extreme content into Hollywood form
Rooted for RoboCop being a favorite
Humor: Rambling bits, tangents and character voices.
In their words
“I have never been more excited to talk about a film on this podcast.” (1:38:03)
Seems to love practical Spielberg staging and sound design, character actors with great faces, and nostalgic picks like Harriet the Spy. Cannot stand lazy sequels with no story, CGI overuse and nostalgia-canonized movies. Is a sucker for merchandise history and a good Austin Powers rewatch.
Stances
Lost World has a plot but no story and is bottom five Spielberg
Spielberg fails when he directs with one arm behind his back
Jurassic World is far worse
Humor: Escalating riffs and running bits, including bad impressions, nicknames for the producer and self-deprecating Goldblum failure.
In their words
“I've never been able to get there.” (0:00:55)
“Spielberg, I think, always fails when he tries to direct with one arm behind his back.” (0:32:33)
Loves ambitious, misguided, disastrous failures and admits a near sexual fetish for them; gravitates toward films that are naked and transparent about their director's ego. Cannot stand being unable to follow exposition but still wants to rewatch. A sucker for Shyamalan trivia, mythology worldbuilding critique, and the film-about-filmmaking read.
Stances
Lady in the Water is bad but fascinating and he likes it a lot
Watchability is not linked to quality
The film is Shyamalan's defensive reaction to critics after The Village
Shyamalan films are crisis-of-faith movies about family
Humor: Runs elaborate recurring bits and segments (Burger Report, IMDb trivia corner, rewrite station, comedy points) and self-deprecating panic-attack anecdotes.
In their words
“I admit that I have a near sexual fetish for super ambitious misguided failures.” (1:36:00)
“I like this movie a lot.” (1:35:51)
“And so watchability is a thing that I don't link to quality.” (1:49:31)
An actor and comedian who loves Robert Downey Jr. (Ally McBeal, Bowfinger) and loves cataloguing credits, billing, and who produced what. Can't stand hacky, symbolic drama like The Judge or misjudged comedies like Wedding Crashers and Fred Claus. A sucker for Shanghai Noon, Due Date, and Dax Shepard's character.
Stances
The Judge is treacle with a Dobkin comedy brain stuck in a prestige drama
Downey needs a real director like PTA or Raimi to surprise audiences
Duvall phoning it in beats De Niro or Pacino phoning it in
Humor: Long riffing metaphors (the bar mitzvah, the bagel), bodily-fluid gags, and self-deprecating asides about the show's tiny audience.
In their words
“It feels like the way that 13 year old boys have to act during their bar mitzvah” (0:56:38)
“Overbagled.” (0:28:55)
“Now you're stuck with us talking about the judge.” (0:03:31)
A deep pop-culture archaeologist who loves He-Man (especially Orko), Henson fantasy, Toy Story, Barbie, and the Lego movies, and who voiced Orko himself. He is skeptical of masculine man-defends-his-castle fantasy and of defensive, self-embarrassed jokes. He is a sucker for the Hudsucker Proxy, odd animation like Raggedy Ann & Andy, and word-of-mouth box office oddities.
Stances
The film gets the metatextual framework right but only gets 60% there
Toy movies are mostly bad except those not driven by a product
He-Man himself is his least favorite part of He-Man
Orko was unforgivably withheld
Humor: Nerdy, rapid-fire trivia and self-aware jokes about his own obsessions and merchandise hoarding.
In their words
“I have way too much He-Man merchandise.” (0:37:20)
“He's what a child thinks they would be as a grown up if they got really buff and strong.” (0:31:53)
“It is a movie entirely about the hula hoop.” (1:34:41)
Griffin is a long-time Cameron enthusiast and sincere blockbuster fan, someone who watches trailers on loop and gets choked up by them. He loves a clean engineered story and defends Avatar's sincerity. He dislikes meta, smirky franchise filmmaking.
Stances
Avatar's clunky human dialogue is deliberate
Franchise filmmaking is in a crisis point
Cameron has earned the benefit of the doubt
Humor: Affable and self-deprecating, with long enthusiastic riffs.
In their words
“I'm beyond excited.” (1:41:16)
“I truly get like emotionally choked up watching these trailers” (1:41:52)
A RoboCop devotee with posters, a bust and a bootleg toy in the office, who loves the Verhoeven original and its satire. He can't stand humorless grounded remakes that cut the jokes and the visor. A sucker for baseball giveaways at Mets games and Easter eggs done right.
Stances
The remake is an F and worse than Ouija
Satire and humor are what make the original
A black suit with no detail is a failure
Robocop should be dumb and funny, not cool
Humor: Rants and elaborate analogies, like the pizza series, delivered with escalating mock fury.
In their words
“I'm just gonna come out and say this is an F.” (0:55:03)
“Robocop one is like the best pizza you've ever had.” (1:29:28)
Loves Edge of Tomorrow as a masterpiece and Cruise's turn toward weird, low-status roles; likes Oblivion and Looper-era Blunt; likes Liman's chaos when it works. Can't stand Liman's later films like Road House.
Stances
Edge is a five-star film that improves on repeat
This is Cruise's pivot to the McQuarrie era
Alien design here and in Arrival is rare in the 2010s
Humor: Rapid riffs and movie-industry gossip, often wrapping a joke around a bit of trivia.
In their words
“Edge of tomorrow is 5 stars.” (0:07:20)
“It is truly a movie that gets better every time you watch it.” (0:07:25)
Loves cult comedy and genre curiosities such as Perfect Dark, Nirvana the Band, and weird bracket ideas like Psycho with Bates Motel. Enthusiastic about Peter Weir, Welles, and Del Toro. Dislikes long filmographies as a rule and bad Robocop sequels.
Stances
Wants more Peter Weir and Orson Welles
Votes against the long boy in every matchup
Grudge: RoboCop 2 should never put the mask back on
Humor: Builds committed running bits (pitmaster, Chip Smith) and doubles down until the room breaks.
A Lynch fan who loves Eraserhead as a pure raw expression of an outsider and calls it a fully arrived masterpiece. Loves the bit-work of generating nicknames and sorting debut films into buckets. Can't stand eggs and gets queasy at the chicken-carving idea.
Stances
Eraserhead is a masterpiece debut
It is coherent and autobiographical, not impenetrable
Debut films fall into rough draft, masterpiece and a third bucket
Humor: Escalating riffs and mock-pompous bits about nicknames, with self-aware jabs at the show.
In their words
“And this is him just doing the pure raw expression version of basically the same idea.” (0:26:19)
“Holy shit, who the fuck is this guy fully arrived masterpiece.” (0:16:34)
Runs the show and the episode dossier, and loves production-disaster minutiae, alternate titles and what-if histories. A sucker for 90s studio chaos and podcast in-jokes (jelly trilogy, Forky). Frustrated by a movie that is dark and muddy and has no scary monsters.
Stances
Eaters of the Dead was the better title
The version worth making is a smaller, pulpier one
Defends Mank and is a Fincher-series completist who ranks Zodiac first; loves the autobiographical reading of The Killer (Fincher mocking his own control). A sucker for Tilda Swinton performances and for details like the Smiths playlist. Uncertain about the Soderbergh-style streaming deal.
Stances
The Killer is about filmmaking and Fincher's own process
Fincher's Netflix deal is a bad fit for streaming
Mank is a celebration of a cantankerous artist and a self-portrait
Humor: Absurdist riffs, Letterboxd one-liners, and long tangents about fast food.
In their words
“My letterbox type clip on the movie is a psychological horror film about David Fincher imagining a reality where he's only allowed one take.” (0:22:44)
“It's fucking Sidney Lumette's making movies.” (1:24:53)
Likes the Hearst scenes and the performances, but is less sold on the movie than David and Sean. Comes at it as a wounded theatrical-experience loser, upset he never saw it in a theater.
Stances
Wishes he'd seen it in a theater
Likes the movie less than David
Wants more Fincher Tuppence Middleton
Humor: Self-deprecating, tangent-prone, and loves puns like 'Mancrodosing'.
In their words
“I cannot stop thinking about how angry I am that I never got to see this in a theater.” (0:20:21)
“I'm circling the island.” (2:27:36)
“Mancrodosing. Five minutes of manca day.” (0:22:58)
Carries the Fincher-completist trivia (the unmade projects, the casting what-ifs) and is deep in the Affleck and Reese Witherspoon career talk. Likes a franchise that earns its box office, and says he is all in on the Equalizer films. Can't stand a lazy cable-movie career move, and has lost patience with TV coverage on the show.
Stances
Fincher's unmade projects (Star Wars, 20,000 Leagues) are as interesting as the films
Wants Equalizer 3 to reach $103 million
Mindhunter was an episode he and David did not want to cover, because TV multiplies the work
Humor: Runs dead-pan bits at length (the Quibby and Reese 'Fierce Queens' routine) and keeps count of the numbers.
In their words
“Star Wars, episode seven.” (0:25:36)
“The Equalizer one made $101 million domestically.” (2:53:28)
“Dave and I really didn't want to do this episode.” (3:03:23)
Loves Fincher, comfort rewatches, commentary tracks and the research dossier; admires Rooney Mara and the film's gentleness at the margins. Can't stand the Swedish films' flatness or the Spider's Web reboot. A sucker for a good casting story and a recurring bit.
Stances
Dismisses the Swedish films as mid
calls this a movie that improves on rewatch
defends Fincher's reshoots as worth it.
Humor: Runs bits to exhaustion (string cheese, Clint Eastwood railroading, strangling-each-other energy) and teases Ben.
In their words
“I saw it Christmas time, 2011.” (0:25:28)
“I've been trying to watch most of these movies with commentaries.” (1:10:15)
“I just remember when the trailer for this came out” (0:34:01)
Loves Sorkin's dialogue and Fincher's rigor, and is the host with an actor's view of auditions and sets. Dismissive of Facebook as an experience now. A sucker for behind-the-scenes lore and the Blu-ray extras.
Stances
The script's pace is the movie
Fincher's many takes freed the actors
Humor: Rambling, self-aware riffs and character-voice bits.
In their words
“I pointedly remember that the they sent the script out, but for the auditions, it was just other Sorkin scenes.” (0:52:46)
“So this script hits and like every single person on set is like, I'm just trying to get any fucking part in the sofa work.” (0:51:41)
Became a Fincher believer at Zodiac and was all in for Button on the strength of that and the teaser. Reads Button as a deliberate anti-Gump about death rather than a failed weepy. Likes the film's passivity and its refusal to give catharsis.
Stances
Button is pointedly an anti-Gump
the film is more Fincher than its reputation allows
the hospital framing is the real film
Humor: Rapid-fire impressions and callback bits, including the running seven-but-looks-older line.
In their words
“But I think it's almost like pointedly an anti-gump.” (0:22:50)
“Whatever this guy's next movie is, this is now I'm most anticipated movie.” (0:17:37)
Their shows' recurring bits
Running bits, not opinions; a critic read aloud is cited, not present.
The Big Picture
Drafts: Hosts and guests draft films in rounds; every pick is a recommendation with an argument.
Hall of Fame: A star's or director's best, ranked and argued.
Countdowns: Ranked lists, top five or top ten.
Blank Check with Griffin & David
The box office game: Guessing the film's opening weekend and what it was up against.
The sung theme: "Blank Check with Griffin and David", sung; the transcriber garbles it.
Their claims
Showing 1,101–1,162 of 1,162 claims.
theme (theme):
Chris Evans → Paddington.
Steve Rogers is rooted for because he is a scrappier Paddington who believes the best of people and only dislikes Nazis.
“he's just like a scrappier version of Paddington.”
lineage (lineage):
Thor → Masters of the Universe.
Thor is described as essentially a remake of the live-action Masters of the Universe.
“It's mostly just a remake of the live action masters of the universe movie.”
Blank Check — Patreon ·
Thor ·
0:03:54 ·
Griffin Newman
(0.65 sure it was them)
lineage (lineage):
Thor → Masters of the Universe.
Both banish a hero from his heightened mythic world into a mundane Earth town and play it for fish-out-of-water jokes.
“And you place the one character who belongs in this heightened sci-fi world in the middle of like, you know, the Southwest.”
Blank Check — Patreon ·
Thor ·
0:04:40 ·
Griffin Newman
(0.60 sure it was them)
career (career):
Chris Hemsworth → Sean Connery.
Doubts that Hemsworth is just a big stuntman echo Fleming dismissing Connery as an overblown stuntman when cast as Bond.
“Ian Fleming publicly was like, he's not an actor.”
Blank Check — Patreon ·
Thor ·
0:24:38 ·
Griffin Newman
(0.40 sure it was them)
lineage (lineage):
Thor → Masters of the Universe.
Skeletor banishing He-Man to California mirrors Odin banishing Thor, down to the cartoon-to-film design translation and the large Coke gag.
“They banish him to California, and then like, it's Courtney Cox and some other Californian teenager take them in.”
Blank Check — Patreon ·
Thor ·
0:37:32 ·
Griffin Newman
(0.60 sure it was them)
Blank Check — Patreon ·
Thor ·
0:42:42 ·
Griffin Newman
(0.60 sure it was them)
lineage (lineage):
Thor → Masters of the Universe.
Thor's coffee-mug throwing scene is likened to Gwildor failing to understand fried chicken in He-Man.
“It's like the scene in He-Man where Gueldor doesn't get fried chicken.”
Blank Check — Patreon ·
Thor ·
0:44:06 ·
Griffin Newman
(0.60 sure it was them)
industry (industry):
Thor → Black Panther.
Thor shot on a real New Mexico location; later Marvel films like Black Panther are made in Atlanta lots for tax rebates and secrecy, hurting how they look.
“a lot of it looks ugly because they were so committed to filming it in like a fucking Atlanta parking lot.”
Blank Check — Patreon ·
Thor ·
0:45:46 ·
Griffin Newman
(0.40 sure it was them)
contrast (contrast):
Thor → Black Panther.
Black Panther gives every ensemble member an inner life and a plot function; Thor's side characters like Volstagg and Sif do little.
“every single character has their own personality, their own internal conflict, but has like a very important plot function as well.”
Blank Check — Patreon ·
Thor ·
0:47:38 ·
Griffin Newman
(0.40 sure it was them)
career (career):
Stellan Skarsgard → Nymphomaniac.
American films use Skarsgard as a goofy side dish while in Sweden and Europe he is the transgressive art-house king and Lars von Trier's regular.
“in Sweden, he's like the most like transgressive, like penis wagging, hyper violent sexual actor.”
Blank Check — Patreon ·
Thor ·
0:49:33 ·
Griffin Newman
(0.50 sure it was them)
career (career):
Stellan Skarsgard → Insomnia.
Skarsgard plays the Pacino part in the Norwegian original of Insomnia.
“he plays the Pacino part in the original insomnia.”
Blank Check — Patreon ·
Thor ·
0:50:03 ·
Griffin Newman
(0.40 sure it was them)
career (career):
Natalie Portman → Garden State.
A riff on Garden State turns into proposing Ben replace Zach Braff over the whole film as a Kuleshov-effect experiment.
“Can we just shoot Ben in front of a green screen and like superimpose him over Zach Raff and keep the rest of the movie the same?”
Blank Check — Patreon ·
Thor ·
0:54:33 ·
Griffin Newman
(0.50 sure it was them)
programming (programming):
Thor → The Avengers.
The Hawkeye cameo, with no interaction, made the speaker doubt the Avengers team-up would work.
“The thing you want to see is how they talk and interact with each other.”
Blank Check — Patreon ·
Thor ·
1:02:12 ·
Griffin Newman
(0.35 sure it was them)
industry (industry):
Justice League → The Avengers.
Marvel spent five setup films; DC's Justice League tried eight characters off two movies.
“the Justice League is like, we have like 8 characters and we did 2 movies.”
Blank Check — Patreon ·
Thor ·
1:02:49 ·
Griffin Newman
(0.35 sure it was them)
theme (theme):
Thor → Ghost Rider.
Marvel heroes outside Spider-Man, X-Men, and Fantastic Four lack good villains; Thor has Loki, Ghost Rider's foes are Satan-adjacent like Thor's mythology ones.
“the thing with the Ghost Rider is it like sort of uses like satanic mythology in the same way that this uses Greek mythology.”
Blank Check — Patreon ·
Thor ·
1:21:53 ·
Griffin Newman
(0.35 sure it was them)
verdict (verdict):
Joss Whedon → The Avengers.
Whedon kills the sweetest character to prove a point in everything, though he did it well in Avengers.
“Whedon, who, um, loves to fucking kill the innocent to prove a dramatic point.”
Blank Check — Patreon ·
Thor ·
1:24:39 ·
Griffin Newman
(0.40 sure it was them)
craft (craft):
Patrick Doyle → Thor.
Doyle's score is judged serviceable big orchestral work but not a strong score.
“I also think that the music, little anonymous, Patrick Doyle, but you know, Doyle will give you a serviceable sort of big orchestral stuff.”
Blank Check — Patreon ·
Thor ·
1:47:28 ·
Griffin Newman
(0.40 sure it was them)
craft (craft):
Thor → Foo Fighters.
Branagh dropped in the Foo Fighters song Walk at the last minute because its lyrics were about learning to walk again, like Thor.
“Brana thought the lyrics were appropriate because it's about learning to walk again, much like Thor is learning to be a superhero.”
Blank Check — Patreon ·
Thor ·
1:49:38 ·
Griffin Newman
(0.35 sure it was them)
industry (industry):
Rio → Newt (cancelled Pixar film).
Rio's trailer revealed the same last-of-their-species-must-mate premise, causing Pixar to cancel Newt.
“Rio caused the only Pixar movie to be canceled?”
Blank Check — Patreon ·
Thor ·
1:53:14 ·
Griffin Newman
(0.40 sure it was them)
Blank Check — Patreon ·
Thor ·
1:54:58 ·
Griffin Newman
(0.40 sure it was them)
lineage (lineage):
Gary Shandling → Robocop 2.
The Shandling scene of failing military machines is likened to Robocop 2's footage of machines not working.
“Shanley is weirdly like Robocop 2, which I've just seen for the 1st time now where they show all these machines not working.”
what-if (what-if):
Beverly Hills Cop → Mickey Rourke.
After Stallone dropped out of Beverly Hills Cop, Rourke was offered the part, then Eddie Murphy came in and the film was rebuilt around his riffing.
contrast (contrast):
Iron Man 2 → Beverly Hills Cop II.
Iron Man 1 was a straight movie subverted from within by a loose lead, like Beverly Hills Cop; the sequel was written as comedy from the start, like Beverly Hills Cop II, so nothing is subversive.
“The problem with this movie is they tried to write it from as a comedy from the get go.”
career (career):
Beverly Hills Cop III → Eddie Murphy.
Murphy wanted serious roles like Denzel and Snipes, so on the Landis-directed third film he refused to tell jokes.
“So they hire John Landis to make a funny movie. And then Eddie Murphy's like, I will not tell jokes in this.”
lineage (lineage):
Iron Man 2 → Robocop 2.
Both feature an opening gag of malfunctioning machines, and a plot about the military trying to make another one.
“this is very similar to Robocob 2 where they're like, the plot is kind of just like, how do we make another one of these?”
craft (craft):
Rick Baker → Mickey Rourke.
The speaker jokes that makeup artist Rick Baker was handed an Academy Award for Rourke's look, when Rourke simply showed up on set that way.
“Rick Baker, an Academy Award for Mickey Rourke in this movie.”
craft (craft):
Nancy Meyers → National Treasure.
Griffin ties Jon Voight's soufflé line about National Treasure to Meyers: light, airy films that collapse if one element is wrong.
career (career):
Sense and Sensibility → The Ice Storm.
After the Sense and Sensibility hit, Lee made the most depressing movie ever made, which got no Oscar nominations.
“But before he made that decision, he was like, what if I make like the most depressing movie ever made?”
unmapped (parody):
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon → Scary Movie.
Wire-work parody in pop culture (Scary Movie that year) made it hard for a young Griffin to take the genre seriously.
career (career):
Chow Yun-fat → Daniel Day-Lewis.
Li Mu Bai is in a Daniel Day-Lewis retirement mode: the best at something that no longer satisfies him.
“I think he's in like Daniel De-Louis retirement mode.”
verdict (verdict):
Martin Campbell → Vertical Limit.
Martin Campbell is only good at making James Bond movies; Vertical Limit is a good first scene only.
“It's a great example of Martin Campbell only being good at making masterpiece James Bond movies”
craft (craft):
The Ice Storm → Do the Right Thing.
The Ice Storm gets cold weather as right as Do the Right Thing gets hot weather, trading rage for malaise.
“I think this movie gets cold weather as right as do the right thing gets hot weather.”
lineage (lineage):
The Ice Storm → Freaks and Geeks.
Recognizing the Ice Storm as a 40-something's nostalgia piece led to the same realization with Freaks and Geeks.
“the next thing I remember thinking that about and having that realization about was, uh, was freaks and geeks.”
theme (theme):
The Ice Storm → Fantastic Four.
The Ice Storm's families map onto the Fantastic Four, with Joan Allen as Invisible Woman and Kevin Kline as Mr. Fantastic.
“No, yeah, no, Joan Allen is Invisible Woman, and Kevin Klein is fucking Mr. Fate Desk.”
fun, about
Vanilla Sky:
Griffin's casting story: a casting director warned him not to joke about 'can you hear me now?' when the Verizon actor wrote and directed a film.
“the writer and director of this film, who's going to be in the audition is the can you hear me now, guy?”
fun, about
Vanilla Sky:
The recording was spread over years because the hosts kept leaving the country, so references to a breakup will be five weeks stale on release.
“Having to re-listen to me make references to how sad I am right now 5 weeks from now when this episode's released.”