Loves charisma performances, movie stars at their peak, and trivia from Tarantino's circle. Champions Brad Pitt as the winner. Can't stand awards mistakes like The Artist winning, and he warns about the 'Oscars should wait five years' view. A sucker for 1960s details, driving scenes, and Boogie Nights real estate.
Stances
Brad Pitt won the movie
Oscars should be awarded five years later
Focus is underrated
Humor: Runs bits on movies he almost bought, fake research, and sports-style comparisons.
In their words
“I think Pitt won the movie.” (1:17:58)
“I think I'm the only one that likes focus.” (0:32:43)
Loves the mid-80s Eddie Murphy and the movie's cultural phenomenon, and has a clear soft spot for Lisa Eilbacher. Is a sucker for Hollywood-excess anecdotes (Simpson, cocaine, Rourke, Stallone) and for sports analogies. Has little patience for plot logic holes but loves list games and categories.
Stances
Eddie Murphy in 1984 was the biggest star in the world after Michael Jackson
Lisa Eilbacher is the Apex Mountain and the film's winner
The Eddie-Murphy-as-star what-if game (Top Gun) is a worthwhile question
Humor: Rapid-fire sports analogies (WAR, LeBron, Dion Waiters, Shawn Michaels) and mock-indignant asides.
Loves the lore of how a movie got made, the lists (casting what-ifs, recasting), and the 'unanswerable questions' category. Has little patience for Lawrence Tierney's acting or for Ebert missing on Tarantino. He remembers the 1992 Boston era of a movie that mattered and is a sucker for a heist.
Stances
Tarantino won the movie
Lawrence Tierney is bad (the 'Mike Francesa' bit)
Does not want new Reservoir Dogs content
Wants to see the heist, plays devil's advocate
Humor: Throws sports analogies, invents award names, and runs recurring bits like Roger Ebert and Felony Land.
In their words
“I love bank ice scenes.” (1:23:55)
“It's Tarantino, and I think all of those actors robbing a bank.” (1:23:22)
“Can I make the case for seeing the heist?” (1:23:18)
Loves ensemble casts and film-lineage framing, sports analogies (Dwight Gooden, Penny Hardaway), and the show's recurring awards. Wants a better soundtrack, and cannot stand the ending speech. Is a sucker for his wife and kids' opinions of the film.
Stances
Mean Girls is the best Lorne Michaels movie
Lohan's decline is like an athlete's lost career
Soundtrack and ending speech are weak
Humor: Dry, sports-and-family riffs, often teased by his co-hosts.
In their words
“that was like Dwight Gooden in 1985 on the Mets.” (0:27:59)
“I think this is the best Lauren Michaels movie.” (0:16:22)
Bill loves old-school sports myth-making, baseball nostalgia, the Natural's chill scene, and stat-nerd rabbit holes like reconstructing Roy Hobbs's season. He is picky about throwing motions and lineup logic, and is a sucker for the dugout-emptying slow-motion shot. He ranks Bull Durham/Hoosiers/Rocky near the top and finds slow hospital stretches in sports movies unbearable.
Stances
The Natural used to be the greatest sports movie but is now slower than he remembers
Every great sports movie needs a chill scene
Dislikes bad throwing motions on screen
Hospital detours in sports movies should be cut short
Roy Hobbs was a Bonds-level statistical machine, or worse
Humor: Dry, list-making sports-nerd riffs and reaching pop-culture asides (Bachelor, Harry Potter) delivered as if serious.
In their words
“My move with sports movies is like, get me out of the hospital as fast as possible.” (1:00:37)
“nothing drives me crazier than when somebody can't throw in a baseball movie.” (0:56:43)
Loves Gen X touchstones and basketball analogies; sticks up for Winona Ryder and Friends season one; mocks Troy-type guys and over-talky English majors. A sucker for half-assed internet research and awards-bit tradition.
Stances
Winona Ryder won the movie
Singles is a flawed but beloved sibling
Ben Stiller deserves credit
Humor: Rolls NBA references and mock-feuds into everything.
In their words
“I do look at her in a way, like, uh, like I look at some NBA players.” (0:32:14)
Loves sports-adjacent silliness, big broad comedy and quotable lines, and wedding toast chaos. Can't stand being wrong about movie trivia he has already litigated. A sucker for his own running categories and bits (Ebert, Joey Pants, Dion Waiters).
Stances
Roger Ebert is never to be trusted on comedies
Comedies of the era were a nice 6-7 year run
Open your movie with a wedding theory
Luke Wilson is not Harrison Ford
Humor: Deadpan rapid-fire teasing of co-hosts and mock-outrage, plus sports references.
In their words
“never to be trusted on comedies.” (0:15:17)
“This movie also nicely slots into my open your movie with a wedding theory.” (1:01:05)
Loves sports analogies, Kurt Russell and Pacino's Cruising, defends 90s movies like Fletch. Dislikes dated romance interludes like the picnic. A sucker for mustaches and Dana Wheeler-Nicholson.
Stances
Val Kilmer wins the movie
Wyatt Earp is the rival, Tombstone is more entertaining
Cruising is incredible
Cut the 12-minute theater scene
Humor: Rapid-fire sports comparisons and teasing his cohosts.
In their words
“I think this movie is the perfect microcosm of both of their careers.” (0:12:28)
“I just don't come to Tombstone for picnics” (0:29:44)
Loves old-school and 5 o'clocker action, Seagal, Stallone, Nick Cage, and movies that know exactly what they are. Can't stand over-explained worldbuilding or sequels that give the hero a known villain. A sucker for the Neeson comeback and for ranking things by era.
Stances
Taken is the perfect 5 o'clocker
Taken 2 is not better than the first
Neeson is the Apex Mountain of the movie
The first Taken works because there is no main villain
Humor: Deadpan nitpicking, escalating sports analogies, and long self-deprecating dad stories.
In their words
“I just like watching movies that know exactly what they are.” (0:32:10)
“I don't think it's a John Wick 2 situation where John Wick 2 is actually somehow better than John Wick one, or we could at least have the debate.” (0:42:12)
Loves big star-driven movies and sets the show's categories; adores the Wahlberg and Baldwin scenes, Boston flavor and the crazy cast what-ifs. Can't stand Nicholson's performance here, implausible plot points and the rat. A sucker for 'that guy' actors, Goodfellas and Boston details.
Stances
The Departed is a Hall of Famer because it is flawed and fun
Leo won the movie, Nicholson loses it
Costello should have been Pacino
Damon's Boston accent beats Wahlberg's
Scorsese's Stones fetish is funny
Humor: Deadpan nitpicking, jokes about plot holes and trivia, rapid mock-outrage.
In their words
“This is a perfect rewatchable because it is a great bad movie.” (0:12:23)
Calls Spielberg the greatest director ever but is skeptical of his late period and Munich. Loves Jaws, Raiders, and E.T. through his kids, and measures movies by whether kids can stay with them. Distrusts the calculating, career-minded side of Spielberg and Spielberg's DreamWorks hedging.
Stances
Spielberg's first 15 years are the greatest career stretch ever
His recent work is solid but not special
Spielberg is 'calculating' where Mann or Coppola are obsessive
Judges movies by whether his kids can watch them
Humor: Wry and teasing; leans on sports analogies (LeBron, Popovich) and bits like 'hit by a car in 1986'.
In their words
“if you just got hit by a car at the peak of your career, how would people remember you?” (0:51:08)
“I judge everything by my kids who have, you know, 21st century ADD with pop culture.” (1:00:09)
Their shows' recurring bits
Running bits, not opinions; a critic read aloud is cited, not present.
The Big Picture
Drafts: Hosts and guests draft films in rounds; every pick is a recommendation with an argument.
Hall of Fame: A star's or director's best, ranked and argued.
Countdowns: Ranked lists, top five or top ten.
The Rewatchables
Apex Mountain: The moment a star peaks; where on the mountain a performance sits.
Who Won the Movie: The hosts name the person who came out of the film best off.
The Ebert review: Roger Ebert's original review and star rating read aloud. Ebert is cited, never on the show.
Casting what-ifs: Who was almost cast, or who should have been.
Most rewatchable scene: The scene each host would stop on while flipping channels.
Aged best / aged worst: What holds up and what does not.
Picking Nits: The little things in a film the hosts love that they don't think totally work: the nits.
Double feature: The film each host would pair it with; a programming pick.
Their claims
Showing 1–100 of 1,295 claims.
industry (industry):
Friday the 13th → The Shining.
Spring and summer 1980 TV spots for Friday the 13th and The Shining both scared a ten-year-old; Friday's ad showed every murder.
“There was 2 commercials, spring, summer, 1980 that scared the fuck out of me.”
lineage (ancestor):
The Texas Chain Saw Massacre → Halloween.
Halloween felt like it invented modern horror, but on rewatch Chainsaw is the real ground zero.
“whenever I watch Chainsaw, I'm like, no, actually this is ground zero.”
unmapped (unintentional comedy):
Gunnar Hansen → The Silence of the Lambs.
Leatherface's unintentional comedy scores 98 on a 100 scale, just behind Buffalo Bill at 100.
“If Buffalo Bill is a 100 at a 100, Leatherface is like a 98.”
theme (1970s genre birth):
The Texas Chain Saw Massacre → Dirty Harry.
Chainsaw is one of eight 1970s films (Dirty Harry, Deep Throat, Last House, Godfather II, Jaws, Rocky, Star Wars, Superman) that spawned the next 50 years of genres.
“if you just go those 8 movies, that's kind of what would become the next 50 years of movies.”
lineage (real-life source):
Ed Gein → The Silence of the Lambs.
Ed Gein had a big Hollywood footprint; Silence of the Lambs and Manhunter touched on him.
“A lot of people, silence the lambs, touched on Ed Geen.”
unmapped (peer cluster):
The Texas Chain Saw Massacre → The Last House on the Left.
Ebert said Chainsaw belongs with Night of the Living Dead and Last House on the Left as films better than the genre required; also listed as indie-horror example in the 70s genre run.
“it belongs with 9 Living Dead, last house to the left, films that are really a lot better than the genre required.”
craft (craft):
Robert A. Burns → The Texas Chain Saw Massacre.
The art director's scavenged animal parts and bones built the chicken room, called maybe the creepiest room in horror history.
“there's a lot of research about the, uh, the art director, just going around Texas and picking up decomposing animal parts”
craft (last shot):
The Texas Chain Saw Massacre → Halloween.
Chainsaw's last shot is an all-time ending, rivaled only by Halloween's empty Myers shots; Chainsaw is judged better.
“It's an all-time greatest last shot other than possibly Halloween, Myers not being there at the end.”
people (casting test):
Dennis Peck → Internal Affairs.
Craig's relationship test: could Internal Affairs' Dennis Peck have charmed Leatherface's family out of the house.
“You think Dennis could have gotten out of that house?”
industry (financing):
The Texas Chain Saw Massacre → Deep Throat.
Chainsaw was financed by a mob-linked company that also did Deep Throat and needed to launder its profits.
“this company that also did Deep Throat and had money that needed to wash the money from Deep Throat”
verdict (final girl ranking):
Marilyn Burns → Halloween.
Lori Strode is the more iconic final girl by body of work, and Ripley is up there; Sally is the underrated one.
“I think Lori's a more iconic final girl, ultimately.”
verdict (killer ranking):
The Texas Chain Saw Massacre → Psycho.
On the movie-murderer Mount Rushmore, Norman Bates and Lecter go up there; Bill picks Myers because of the body of work.
“I think the answer is probably Myers because of the body of work.”
programming (double feature):
The Texas Chain Saw Massacre → Halloween.
Bill pairs it with Halloween to compare how much Halloween cribbed from Chainsaw.
“I went Halloween just to compare and contrast like how much Halloween, crib done, chainsaw, all that stuff.”
lineage (lineage):
Domestic Disturbance → Fatal Attraction.
Domestic Disturbance is the late, bad entry in the 'from hell' thriller cycle that began with Fatal Attraction.
“We had this really good run that starts with fatal fatal attraction into the 80s.”
industry (industry):
Lakeview Terrace → The Dark Knight.
Lakeview Terrace might be the last 'from hell' movie before The Dark Knight took over the villain slot.
“It could be the last, it could be the last from hell, and then Dark Knight comes along and cleans up hell, you know?”
industry (industry):
Domestic Disturbance → Zoolander.
After 9/11, Paramount moved Zoolander up and pushed Domestic Disturbance to October, where it was cut by 22 minutes.
craft (craft):
Harold Becker → Michael Hogarth.
On his commentary Becker praises the film's credits and their maker, Michael Hogarth, as relayed by the host.
“I really like these, these, these credits that we made for this film, you know, great credit maker. His name's Michael Hogarth. He's a wonderful guy.”
what-if (what-if):
GoldenEye → Dennis Quaid.
In the GoldenEye pod Chris Ryan suggested Dennis Quaid for Joe Don Baker's role and Bill shot it down as not old enough.
“CR says, I think Dennis Quaid is just as good a suggestion as Nick Nolte, and it gets a little testy.”
craft (craft):
Tim Robbins → Bull Durham.
Bull Durham is the proposed namesake for a horrible-on-screen-athleticism flex category, though Tim Robbins is defended for his idiosyncratic windup.
“I nominate Tim Robbins as the namesake for Bull Durham.”
lineage (lineage):
Top Gun → Top Gun: Maverick.
Maverick's dogfight football is compared with the original's volleyball scene, which hides its doubles in wide shots.
“I mean, I went back and watched the volleyball scene from the original Top Gun.”
craft (craft):
War of the Worlds → Tom Cruise.
A Reddit thread defends Cruise's awkward ball toss as a character choice, a father easy on his son.
“there was Reddit thread defending Tom Cruise in War of the Worlds that's saying that. That's what the character, that's how the character would have thrown the ball.”
craft (craft):
For Love of the Game → Kevin Costner.
Costner told the speaker that John C. Reilly was the catcher and the film cut carefully around him.
“which I asked Costner about once, and he is basically like, he was the catcher, and they very carefully cut around him.”
verdict (verdict):
Sicario → The Godfather.
Godfather beats Sicario for best dinner-scene assassination because it is the bigger, more important movie.
“Godfather is just a bigger, more important movie.”
theme (theme):
Vision Quest → Sicario.
Secret Handshake category: Vision Quest's red wrestling high-tops and Sicario's blue and pink money bands as props only fans recognize.
“Vision Quest, Loud and Swain's red Asex wrestling high tops, which we talked about on that part for 5 solid.”
what-if (what-if):
Sicario → Tom Cruise.
Cruise could play the lead if the Blunt role were a man, since studios wanted a male lead and 90s Cruise fits.
what-if (what-if):
Heat → Gangs of New York.
Listener's 10-percent-better idea: Heat without the Portman storyline or with Vincent doing coke, Gangs of New York with Cameron Diaz recast.
“how heat would be 10% better if they either dropped the Portman storyline, or had Vincent doing coke, or gangs of New York, if Cameron Diaz was recast.”
theme (theme):
The Shawshank Redemption → Goodfellas.
Listener's list of narrated Rewatchables: Shawshank, Goodfellas, Apocalypse Now, Ferris Bueller, Fight Club, Stand by Me, Big Lebowski and more.
people (people):
Ernie Anderson → Paul Thomas Anderson.
The 70s/80s ABC promo narrator is PTA's dad, and the hosts imagine trailer narration for The Town.
programming (programming):
To Live and Die in L.A. → Bad Lieutenant.
Date-night worst movie lists: To Live and Die in L.A. starts one, then Bad Lieutenant, Happiness, 8MM, Come and See.
“He said, uh, he nominates Bad Lieutenant, Happiness, 8 millimeter and come and see.”
people (people):
Catherine Hahn → Step Brothers.
Hahn is a Hall of Fame 'Dion Waiters' inductee for Step Brothers; the speaker recalls 25 minutes on the Catalina wine cooler.
“We did like 15 minutes on how good she was in that movie.”
industry (industry):
Heat → Die Hard.
Bearer bonds: the tax-lawyer listener accepts them in post-82 movies like Beverly Hills Cop and maybe Die Hard but not in Heat or Panic Room.
“he can look past it for some post 82 movies like Beverly Hills cop, maybe even die hard.”
theme (theme):
Phantom Thread → Little Miss Sunshine.
Dave Toshki (as transcribed) Animal Crackers Award for niche tastes: Reynolds Woodcock's poisoned mushrooms, the Little Miss Sunshine character, Neil McCauley in Heat.
“Reynolds Woodcock's fondness for poisoned mushrooms and Phantom Thread.”
contrast (contrast):
Denise Richards → Elizabeth Shue.
The award is renamed for Denise Richards as nuclear physicist Christmas Jones, since it's more absurd than Shue as an astrophysicist.
“Denise Richards playing a nuclear physicist is 100 times more absurd than Elizabeth Shoe.”
craft (craft):
The Social Network → Inglourious Basterds.
The best line reading category: Eisenberg's 'That's good, you should be proud' alongside 'Everybody in the German army has heard of Hugo Stiglitz'.
“It's an all-time line reading that could base smarminess, jealousy, and resentment without showing much emotion.”
programming (programming):
Zodiac → Almost Famous.
AI cut-your-own-runtime fantasy: trim Zodiac to 97 minutes; instead Bill watched the bootleg Almost Famous with 35 extra minutes.
“we watch the bootleg cut the 2nd time, which has like 35 minutes of additional scenes.”
what-if (what-if):
Just One of the Guys → Judd Nelson.
Joyce Hyser nearly played Dr. Melfi; equivalent to Judd Nelson almost being Walter White; the 'hammer' of internet research.
“He said this to me was the equivalent of finding out”
fun, about
Jay Barrishell:
Daily Beast interview: Jay said he and Jonah didn't get along and found Jonah's compliment scene exhausting, then loved the rough cut.
fun, about
Rihanna:
Slapped Michael Cera for real; Cera asked if he could slap her butt and she said only if she could hit back; multiple takes left him lying down.
“he asked Rihanna if he could actually slap her butt and she said, if I can hit you back.”
fun, about
Alec Baldwin:
On set Baldwin refused to shave his beard, so Bill Pullman was lined up to replace him; he then shaved but stopped talking to the director for the shoot.
“And then won't talk to the director for the rest of the shoot.”
fun, about
David Mamet:
Art Linson's book: in the pitch an executive objected that nobody roots for a rich guy, so Mamet added the affair and the cuckold angle.
fun, about
Bart the Bear:
Bart's filmography: Legends of the Fall, The Great Outdoors, 12 Monkeys, Grizzly Adams, presented at the 1998 Academy Awards.
“He was a presenter at the Academy Awards in 1998”
fun, about
Paul Bettany:
Balcony speech: fear of falling is really fear that you might jump; then the money-left-after-taxes run with 76,520 on hookers.
fun, about
Margin Call:
Casting what-ifs: Irons role first offered to Ben Kingsley, Tim Robbins and Billy Crudup passed, Carla Gugino was to play Demi Moore's part.
“The Jeremy Ions ions world was originally offered too.”
fun, about
Misery:
Goldman wanted the job because of King's foot-chopping scene; George Roy Hill could not direct it, and Reiner and Scheinman softened it to the ankle-breaking hobbling.
“The lapping scene was gone now forever replaced by the ankle breaking scene.”
fun, about
Judd Apatow:
Bill reads the Rudd character as a stand-in for Judd, with Apatow's own wife and kids on screen: 'Judd's really going through something'.
fun, about
Beverly Hills Cop II:
A Premiere magazine piece says the script was rewritten dozens of times, finalized three weeks before production, with a 10-week shoot stretching to 20.
“Cop 2 ate up the energy of 2 executive producers, 2 producers, one director, 6 writers, and various productive production executives of personnel at Paramount.”
fun, about
Brigitte Nielsen:
Most rewatchable scene pick: the jewelry-store robbery with the robber calling out elapsed time and time left.
“If a movie features a scene where there is a robbery and the robber is calling out the amount of time that they've been in there and how much time they have left, probably going to be a rewatchable at some point.”
fun, about
Beverly Hills Cop II:
Murphy's original pitch was a Testarossa and a Beverly Hills gun club; the studio first considered England/Scotland Yard and a TV series, but Murphy refused both.
“Murphy's ideas was that that Folish should have a testeras, Rosa Ferrari, and that there should be something at the Beverly Hills gun club.”
fun, about
Tony Scott:
Scott flew to New Jersey to meet Murphy, shot pool, then Murphy vanished mid-rematch and sent his boys to say Scott was fine with him.
“Scott recalls shooting some pool with Murphy. who won the 1st game, then disappeared in the middle of a rematch.”
fun, about
Eddie Murphy:
Murphy arrived with a huge trailer and an entourage including his Uncle Ray, brother Charlie, cousin Ray Jr., Fruity, and a 21-year-old valet, and was late all the time, then ad-libbed.
“he was late all the time, according to one of the crew.”
fun, about
Beverly Hills Cop II:
Eddie Murphy himself called it the most successful mediocre picture in history, a half-assed rehash that was less spontaneous. Both hosts disagree and say they love it.
“Beverly Hills cop 2 was probably the most successful mediocre picture in history.”
fun, about
Eddie Murphy:
Murphy bought a $65,000 Porsche at lunch when depressed, and fought producers to keep the Ferrari from the movie; the producers' spokesman denied they ever gave him one.
“Eddie may have bought a red Ferrari, but Don and Jerry never gave him one.”
fun, about
Beverly Hills Cop II:
Most rewatchable scene: Axel at the gun club pleading for his daughters Monique and Unique; Simmons calls it a fucking classic.
“I'd like to see my kids, Monique and Unique again, fucking classic.”
fun, about
Beverly Hills Cop II:
Best quote candidate: the Gerald Ford lookalike in the strip club; Simmons says he still doesn't know why it's funny after all these years.
fun, about
Tony Scott:
On the armored-truck city deposit robbery: Scott takes off his shirt, rubs body butter on his arms and does action-sequence curls for three minutes.
“Tony's like, takes off his shirt, rubs his arms with body butter, and just fucking does some curls for us for about 3 minutes.”
fun, about
Beverly Hills Cop II:
Ages the best: the opening song 'Shakedown' by Bob Seger; Simmons wants more theme songs thematically drawn from the movie, like running away from crime in the city.
“We just don't have, we used to do things in this country.”
fun, about
Beverly Hills Cop II:
Ages the best: Producer Craig plays the Faltermeyer opening and Simmons says it makes him want to rob a jewelry store; they plan to end pods with a 45-second Craig song.
fun, about
Hugh Hefner:
First movie ever filmed at the Playboy Mansion; Hefner had said no film, then supposedly found a film reflecting his values. Paul Reiser also reads Playboy Sisters in three scenes.
“Reiser, he's reading Playboy Sisters, 112 pages of Sexy Siblings.”
fun, about
Beverly Hills Cop II:
Casting what-if: Simmons wants Geena Davis in the thin role of Bogomil's daughter Jan, and Ryan wants Lisa Bonet as a strip-club character killed to fuel Axel's revenge, an 11-minute sidetrack.
“It's just 2 phone calls and then she's like, I've solved where this guy's visa came from?”