Calls Last Temptation his college-era favorite Scorsese; loves Scorsese's smaller 80s and the film's closing transcendence and Gabriel score. Cannot stand fundamentalist outrage at it. A sucker for casting trivia and Tom Cruise-silliness.
Stances
Hot take: Last Temptation structurally mirrors New York, New York as a better version
Outrage over the film is stupid; it is respectful to Jesus
Scorsese's smaller 80s work beats his later baroque phases
Humor: Riffs and character bits on the Willem de ___ names and ongoing running gags.
In their words
“I find the ending so incredibly movie.” (0:19:45)
Loves quirky or deep-cut cinema and playful franchise lore (Muppets, Species, Pink Panther sequels), and enjoys the abjectly stressful pool-hall world. Is a sucker for movie-star mannerisms and for fan trivia. Cannot stand Cars 2 or Zemeckis's Pinocchio.
Stances
Color of Money is a stabilizer, not a pure paycheck gig
Cars is bad and indefensible; Cars 2 is worse
Wants Lorraine Bracco redeemed via a Goodfellas episode
Adds stabilizer to the Blank Check lexicon
Humor: Rapid pop-culture riffing and running bits, playing unpredictably with franchise absurdities and mock-serious proposals.
In their words
“But stabilizer is a term we haven't used before. And you're right. Let's add it to the lexicon” (0:19:50)
“Cars is Doc Hollywood basically beat for beat.” (0:07:08)
Treats After Hours as a personal vibe movie and loves oddball details, Scorsese lore and downtown New York. Fond of Pee-wee and Griffin Dunn, plays bits about being named after Dunn. Cannot stand wasteful nostalgia and hates auto-flush toilets.
Stances
After Hours is a downtown, very Griffin movie
Modern remakes fail because phones and piled-up incident ruin it
Wicked 2 killed Wicked
Humor: Deadpan bits that run on, mock outrage, and wordplay about the Griffin theme.
In their words
“This movie also, let's just say, is very much reflective of my temperament.” (0:07:22)
A film completist who loves the weird 1980 corners of the box office and the Scorsese-De Niro dynamic. Cannot stand Jimmy Doyle as a date and worries about Hollywood executives. A sucker for obscure titles and good trivia and for Casavetes.
Stances
Raging Bull is a funny tragedy
Studio decisions based on metrics are ruining movies
Scorsese uses comedy to implicate the audience
Humor: Playful, riffing, bit-prone, with running gags like Hollywood 3.0.
In their words
“We've coined Hollywood 3.0 today for to describe just like the fucking nonsense that goes on day to day.” (0:13:41)
“The problem is those people who make the decisions now are like, it's like saber metrics.” (1:35:40)
He came to the film bored at 14 (no monsters or puppets) and now respects it without it being his kind of movie; he adores Peter Weir's craft, Pirates of the Caribbean-era trivia and Oscar and career-arc analysis. He is a sucker for genre-bending Weir details and franchise history.
Stances
Revisited the film and understands its value though it is not innately his kind
Pirates of the Caribbean hurt this movie
Insists on playing the box office game
Weir is a patient director
Humor: Self-deprecating, quick riffs, bits about his own childhood tastes.
In their words
“It is innately not my kind of film, but I was not disengaged from it in the way I was as a 14 year old.” (0:36:16)
Loves physical media, 4K steelbooks, and calling unlikely films masterpieces. Prone to over-planning and lateness. An anxious flyer who relies on Klonopin and researches crashes. Has a blind spot for studio comedies he has not seen.
Stances
Fearless is excellent but not a three-hour oil-drilling episode
movies are great again
Small Soldiers and Sliver defended as masterpieces by friends
Humor: Rapid-fire riffs, self-roasts, and elaborate hypothetical bits.
In their words
“They announce they announce small soldiers 4K steel book. and I go, obviously, inarguable masterpiece.” (1:00:59)
A heavy researcher who comes with a 'dossier' of production history, interview quotes and box-office data, and loves Coens details, McDormand and Macy's performances, and deep-cut trivia. He is a sucker for the Mike Yanagita scene and the film's tonal balance, and delights in the weekly box-office game.
Stances
Fargo is the best encapsulation of the Coens, the way Blue Velvet is of Lynch
Macy should have been nominated for lead
Searches for essays-worthy meaning in the editing choices
Defends Jurassic Park III
Humor: Dry, bit-driven, and loves a running gag about podcast mechanics and Ben.
In their words
“I'm going to open the dossier now” (0:40:11)
“directing is about tone management.” (0:32:35)
“Okay, now I need to sidebar here for a 2nd because David and I are both Jurassic Park 3 defenders” (1:19:12)
Loves puppet-baby and in-utero comedy, rewatching movies on Letterboxd, and weird Blu-ray ephemera. He is a Shelley Long Cheers loyalist who was cool on Kirstie Alley until this movie, and has a parent's eye on infant safety. He prefers movies that feel made by one person.
Stances
The in-utero Mikey is peak comedy and the infant middle is lazy
Authorship is the show's central criterion for a director
Rebecca-era Cheers was a shadow of the show
Humor: Escalating riffs and tangents (Rugrats connections, Renaissance prequel pitch) delivered in dry mock-formal register.
In their words
“I think this is both such a good movie star performance from him and such a great example of what I would call a movie star movie” (0:37:06)
“everything about this feels like it was made by one person.” (1:49:39)
Passionate about Spielberg's autobiographical psychology and Oscar-race history; loves Lincoln, Catch Me If You Can, ensemble casts, and Malkovich as a flavor. Cannot stand Always and Spielberg's pure comedies; a sucker for deep-dive trivia and dossier research.
Stances
Empire is a very good movie where Spielberg starts subverting his own style
Fabelmans explains Spielberg's trauma
1941 and Always are weak spots
Spielberg suffers from being compared to his own canon
Humor: Self-aware riffs, callbacks, and long absurd comparisons (sun-dried tomatoes on a sandwich), plus bits about Ben's resolutions.
In their words
“I think this movie's excellent.” (0:38:38)
“He's sun dried tomatoes on a sandwich.” (0:01:21)
“I do not have a single happy memory of my childhood.” (1:52:20)
Came to Indiana Jones late, via box sets before Crystal Skull, and prefers Last Crusade for its silent-comedy streak, with reservations about Temple of Doom. Fascinated by how movies were made and by fandom history; a sucker for Spielberg staging, action craft and comics-era nostalgia.
Stances
Raiders is a lightning-in-a-bottle movie the sequels cannot recapture
Modern action imitators reverse-engineer surface elements
Treats Crystal Skull as half working
Humor: Does self-aware impressions and cranky-David riffs, mixes film nerd rigor with asides.
In their words
“Whereas I think, you know, David and I always felt like weird kids were we were paying attention to this at a time when like people were not.” (0:17:08)
He is the first-time Return viewer on this episode, so his taste shows in reactions: he loves Lynch's plainness, simple low-tech tricks and the sense that reality is ripping apart. He wants spoiler-free viewing, the proper Criterion/box-set version, and cannot stand being told to read recaps. A sucker for bits and for a gift-worthy game of ratings guessing.
Stances
Wants to be unspoiled and refuses to read recaps or the behind-the-scenes documentary yet
Treats Part 8 as hypnotic and nearly unsummarizable until the others explain it
Believes in extended bits (Wonka 2, Gethard cut) over discussion
Humor: He builds long running bits and follows riffs to absurd conclusions, sometimes holding straight faces.
In their words
“I'm going to ask dumb questions because you guys have been thinking on these things for years, if not decades, and I'm new to all of this, right?” (1:09:38)
“I felt like I, as a viewer, had like lost control of my point of view watching.” (0:52:12)
Reads the show's research dossier aloud and loves film-history trivia, particularly how directors get hired and what the studios did to them. Identified from lines addressed to him and dossier reads; many individual attributions with David are uncertain. Enjoys the Dune film as a design and sound object.
Stances
Dune '84 is fascinating as the one bounce that redirected Lynch's career
Respects the dossier's production details over speculation
Humor: Dry riffing and callbacks, running bits with Ben and the dossier-researcher JJ.
In their words
“So in the dossier, David.” (1:05:21)
“JJ, while we were recording, texted David and I hope the Dune dossier still made sense once you reach the deeper pages, LOL.” (2:29:32)
Loves plot-driven noir, weird procedural details (chain mail gloves, pockets, eyedrops) and Park's stranger visual gags. He prepares the director-biography research and box-office game. Is a sucker for bits that run for minutes, like the sand-beach and Wheel of Fortune riffs.
Stances
Park's best scenes are the quietly bizarre ones, ten per film
Decision to Leave works because the hero cannot see her directly
Likes long-running meta bits more than the ad-reads
Humor: Absurdist escalation and puns, running a single detail (chain mail, sand beach) into the ground.
In their words
“Okay, so yeah, let's talk about the plot of the movie. Guy falls off a mountain.” (0:54:04)
“Oh, can I just Shout out to she, young Kim.” (1:34:01)
Treats Sherlock Jr. as a perfect film and loves seeing silent comedy in a theater, where he says it transformed him at CalArts. Prefers Chaplin's One A.M. to his features, and is a sucker for meta jokes about film language and for Cabin Boy-style references. He sours on The Navigator's cannibal-island finale for its racism.
Stances
Sherlock Jr. is one of the best movies ever made and a contender for best film covered on the show
Certain films must be seen in a theater with an audience
Short runtimes of 40 to 50 minutes suit these comedies best
The Navigator is Keaton in play-the-hits mode and the racist finale kills it
Humor: Riffs on running bits and pop-culture parallels, then happily trips himself up in his own jokes.
In their words
“which, for my money, is still the best thing Chaplain ever did, over his features.” (0:58:42)
“you can watch rear window at home and appreciate it.” (1:00:20)
“Chris Elliott and Adam Resnick's cabin boy is such a Buster Keaton setup.” (1:51:04)
Loves Selick's visual inventiveness and thinks Wendell & Wild eventually satisfies despite its density; steeped in film-business history and trivia. Defends big sci-fi blockbusters with heavy exposition like Inception and Avatar. Rankings: Nightmare 1, Coraline 2, Peach 3, Wendell & Wild 4, Monkeybone 5.
Stances
Wendell & Wild works in spite of itself
Netflix botched the release
Nightmare edges Coraline on the ranking
Monkeybone is an odd, likable bad object
Humor: Riffs on streaming-era absurdity and takes self-aware swipes at the show's own running gags.
In their words
“I do think it is cohesive by the end of the movie.” (1:54:06)
“I would say it works in spite of itself.” (1:53:03)
Respects the craft of Fosse and defends Star 80 as powerful and aware of its own evil, while admitting it nearly unbearable. Loves the structural play of Fosse's films and Alan Ladd-era filmmaker faith. Cannot endorse or recommend Star 80, hates the soundtrack and dwells on true-crime and victim culture.
Stances
Star 80 is great but almost unwatchable and not recommendable
Fosse is underrated as a filmmaker
Fosse hates himself and does not seek forgiveness
Ranks Cabaret first with All That Jazz a close second
Humor: Self-deprecating, dark and quick, with pop-culture riffs and jokes about his own podcast.
In their words
“I think this movie is like staring into the sun.” (0:04:19)
“He, I do think, is incredibly underrated as a as a filmmaker.” (0:05:55)
Loves the film's elusive, memory-like childhood section and its refusal to explain itself; is invested in Campion's research quotes and festival lore. Can't stand the bedsheet-to-armpits sex scene and heavy-handed biopic cliches. A sucker for oddball 90s trivia like FX2 and Brian Bosworth.
Stances
The film should be a movie, not a three-part TV series
Likes biopics that focus on one slice of life
Wants to protect young Janet and root for her
Collects odd details and quotes from Campion interviews
Humor: Self-deprecating and digressive, jokes about his own obsessions and failures.
In their words
“I was so like moonlight pilled watching this movie” (0:20:22)
“I just wanted to protect her in this sort of 1st half of the movie.” (0:51:46)
Loves classic-Hollywood trivia, obsessive research dossiers, practical effects and the unfussy craft of Bridges' performance. Worships Dean Cundy and wishes he had shot Starman. Cannot stand overstuffed jukebox movies like the Amazon Cinderella. A sucker for Moulin Rouge, Romeo + Juliet and Oscar-clip nostalgia.
Stances
Starman is a good dorky movie; the poster and home-video art are bad
Cundy would have made it better
Carpenter's unsentimental filmmaking helped it age well
Coppola should make Megalopolis now
Humor: Riffs on voices, absurd imagined scenes and dad jokes, then goes deep on obscure Hollywood trivia.
In their words
“I love a road trip movie.” (1:33:30)
“I'm trying to do Jeff Bridges in this movie” (0:04:43)
Loves a good character-driven film with specificity and is a sucker for franchise action (Mission: Impossible) and spirited bad-movie obsessions. Can't stand Joy and Jason Reitman's tone-deaf fan-service sequels, and gets wary when a movie loses its human focus.
Stances
Ricki and the Flash is a good premise executed poorly
Defends Tully until its twist
Blames some Demme decisions for Ricki's flatness
Humor: Quick pop-culture riffs, fake-announcer bits and absurd puns, often at his own expense.
In their words
“Jason Reitman has given Ghostbusters back to the fans.” (0:02:48)
“I was like, we need to ban children from films forever.” (0:05:16)
Loves practical movie-making and visible seams, and gets emotionally floored by sincere pictures like The Farewell and Spirited Away. Cannot stand dense plotting without a map, gun fetishism, and 'Western catharsis'. A sucker for John Wick, Keanu Reeves, heroic dogs, and a perfect sandwich.
Stances
Nausicaä is busy and he would like it better in sequence after Lupin, Cagliostro and Sky
John Wick: Chapter 3 is the best Wick and one of the year's best
Practical animation cheats are charming, not a flaw
Dubs are fine and he regrets not using the dub for the plot
Humor: Self-deprecating, tangential, and bit-driven, he tends to run an absurd joke (the Disney Store greeter, Galactus-sized puppeteer) until the others stop him.
In their words
“I love practical shit. I love the seams of movie making, you know?” (0:55:15)
“this movie doesn't understand that this is fucked up now.” (1:37:12)
“I think it's maybe the best work of Keanu's entire career.” (1:50:14)
Their shows' recurring bits
Running bits, not opinions; a critic read aloud is cited, not present.
The Big Picture
Drafts: Hosts and guests draft films in rounds; every pick is a recommendation with an argument.
Hall of Fame: A star's or director's best, ranked and argued.
Countdowns: Ranked lists, top five or top ten.
Blank Check with Griffin & David
The box office game: Guessing the film's opening weekend and what it was up against.
The sung theme: "Blank Check with Griffin and David", sung; the transcriber garbles it.
Their claims
Showing 1,001–1,100 of 1,162 claims.
verdict (verdict):
Tommy Lee Jones → Ad Astra.
A 'sweater and a fretter': in space fretting while wearing a good sweater.
programming (programming):
Black Panther → Avengers: Infinity War.
Griffin loved Black Panther just before, then felt Infinity War was one Marvel movie too big.
“Having, you know, loved Black Panther, which came out right before this.”
verdict (verdict):
Avengers: Infinity War → Avengers: Endgame.
Griffin's frustration with Infinity War in theaters came from dreading what Endgame would do; having since loved Endgame he likes this film more on rewatch.
“I feel like a lot of my frustrations with this movie when I saw it were also based on me anticipating what I thought they were going to do with Endgame”
contrast (contrast):
Doctor Strange → Avengers: Infinity War.
Doctor Strange has the worst joke writing in any Marvel film, while the Avengers films do his comedy better.
“I think Doctor Strange also suffers from the worst joke writing in any Marvel film.”
lineage (lineage):
Jack Kirby → Avengers: Infinity War.
Kirby's cosmic creations at Marvel, Galactus and the Silver Surfer, are the ancestors of this material.
“he creates galactus and silver surf and all these parrots”
what-if (what-if):
Avengers: Infinity War → Avengers: Endgame.
Mantis proves Thanos can be mentally manipulated, so Endgame should have used Wanda against him.
“you have a very powerful mental manipulator in Wanda, and she doesn't do it.”
what-if (what-if):
Avengers: Infinity War → Avengers: Endgame.
Would have preferred Wanda going into Thanos's head in Endgame, a Mysterio-style nightmare sequence.
“I would have enjoyed her more going into his head”
contrast (contrast):
Avengers: Infinity War → Cobweb.
The movie is a glove thriller the way The Cobweb is a drape drama: a huge story about accessories.
“So they were filming this movie at the same time in Cleveland, Ohio, and the suburbs outside of Cleveland that we were filming a motion picture called Draft Day.”
what-if (what-if):
Thor: The Dark World → Patty Jenkins.
The film fired original director Patty Jenkins and replaced her with Game of Thrones TV director Alan Taylor.
contrast (contrast):
Thor: Ragnarok → Thor: The Dark World.
Ragnarok flushes nearly all the mythos out of Thor other than Thor and Loki, which the speakers dislike.
“And they flush almost everything out of the mythos other than Thorn Loke.”
craft (craft):
Michael Giacchino → Thor: The Dark World.
The speakers ask whether The Dark World is the first Marvel film to open with the Giacchino Marvel Studios fanfare.
craft (craft):
Thor: The Dark World → Thor.
The Dark World goes further in both directions on design (older looks plus more tech) while Branagh's Thor split the difference in a murky middle.
“I think, like, Branagh is splitting the difference too hard and staying in a weird murky middle ground.”
lineage (lineage):
Thor: The Dark World → The Avengers.
The Dark World is the correction to Joss Whedon cracking Loki: he becomes co-lead, Thor 1A to Loki 1B.
“This is the correction to Joss Whedon cracking Loki, where they're like, we get it now.”
theme (theme):
Thor: The Dark World → Crazy Rich Asians.
The fish-out-of-water romance with a world of high society and Frigga as the mother echoes Crazy Rich Asians.
“Well, because this is also her kind of crazy rich Asians where it's like, this is a world that I don't know.”
what-if (what-if):
Thor: The Dark World → Patty Jenkins.
What Jenkins wanted to make was a romance first and foremost, and the romantic comedy half of the finished film is read as that movie surviving.
“She kept on saying she really wants to make a romance 1st and foremost.”
career (career):
Stellan Skarsgard → Thor: The Dark World.
Skarsgard is naked in more movies than clothed; he must have negotiated a nude scene in his Marvel deal.
“Scott Scarsgard is naked in more movies than he's clothed.”
career (career):
Alan Taylor → Boardwalk Empire.
Taylor has long been a top HBO director (Boardwalk, Sopranos, Game of Thrones) before moving to blockbusters, and was tapped for the Sopranos prequel.
“Because he's sort of been a top HBO director for a long time.”
industry (industry):
Thor: The Dark World → Idris Elba.
Heimdall is where it shows Elba is too famous for the role; the franchise gives him an action scene to keep him.
“Idris Elba is officially too famous for this role.”
what-if (what-if):
Black Panther → Idris Elba.
Elba, stuck as Heimdall, could have played the Forest Whitaker part or the Daniel Kaluuya part in Black Panther.
career (career):
Idris Elba → The Wire.
Elba got very famous through The Wire's late-arriving HBO Go audience, so he is now too big for Heimdall's small part.
“The wire got really big around this time because of HBO Go.”
craft (craft):
Thor: The Dark World → Doctor Strange.
Doctor Strange does tactile magic well, with sparks, whereas Thor's magic read as CGI doodles elsewhere; the Dark World's has texture.
“I think Doctor Strange does really well, but they make magic look tactile, which is hard to do.”
contrast (contrast):
Thor: The Dark World → Black Panther.
Black Panther does Thor-style city-under-attack better than Asgard, which never reads as a city or a planet.
“You never really understand if Asgard is a city or a planet.”
industry (industry):
Christopher Eccleston → The Story of G.I. Joe.
Eccleston jumped in at the last second here as he did for G.I. Joe's Destro, replacing the originally cast Mads Mikkelsen.
“This was supposed to be Mads, and then it became Eccleston.”
industry (industry):
Joshua Dallas → Once Upon a Time.
Joshua Dallas played Fandral in Thor but could not return because Once Upon a Time was renewed, bringing Levi back.
“Then they hire Joshua Dallas. Then he can't come back for this because once upon a time gets renewed.”
people (people):
Jason X → David Cronenberg.
Cronenberg is claimed to appear in Jason X and is recommended as an actor in the Canadian film Last Night.
industry (industry):
Your Name → Marc Webb.
Marc Webb is directing an American Your Name remake about Native American culture; the speakers say it's a bad idea.
“Mark Webb is directing an American remake of your name.”
verdict (verdict):
Thor: The Dark World → Doctor Strange.
Doctor Strange fails on comedy, trying too hard to make Strange like Tony Stark; they should have owned being po-faced like this earnest film.
“That movie conclusively fails on the comedy front.”
people (people):
Thor: The Dark World → Don Payne.
Don Payne wrote the original draft, his last script; the portal-fight gimmick likely came from his comedy and Simpsons background.
“I wouldn't be surprised if this was a thing that Don Payne brought in.”
craft (craft):
Thor: The Dark World → The Fate of the Furious.
The London flat where Thor and Jane land looks like the penthouse where the Fast & Furious gang drinks Budweisers at the end of Fate.
“It sort of looks like the flat where they Fast and Furious gang gathers at the end of fate.”
what-if (what-if):
Benicio del Toro → Avengers: Endgame.
They hope Endgame has Benicio del Toro's Collector and Jeff Goldblum's Grandmaster together as the Space Brothers.
“If Endgame doesn't have Space Necio and Jeff Spaceblum together as the Space Brothers.”
people (people):
Ender's Game → Harrison Ford.
The box office game answer is Ender's Game with Harrison Ford in a supporting role and Gavin Hood directing.
career (career):
Joss Whedon → Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
Speaker's Buffy/Firefly fandom is why Whedon's exposition and Fury's crackling lines register as his signature.
“I'm still like a big Buffy fan, a big old-fashioned Wii. I love Firefly, right?”
people (people):
Robert Downey Jr. → Joss Whedon.
Downey pushed to be the star of the team movie in his first meeting with Whedon, then admitted he was wrong.
“I know you think you're making a team movie, but I'm the big star.”
career (career):
Mark Ruffalo → 13 Going on 30.
After his illness he went for rom-com leads and got stuck as the nice pushover, the Bill Pullman of rom-coms.
“At this point, it's like he's becoming like the Bill Pullman of rom-coms.”
career (career):
Mark Ruffalo → Sympathy for Delicious.
His directorial debut, a low point (hosts disagree on degree) when he claimed he might quit acting.
career (career):
Mark Ruffalo → The Kids Are All Right.
A role of under 5 working days brought his first Oscar nomination and the comeback, then Shutter Island with Scorsese.
“I believe he worked less than 5 days on that film.”
people (people):
Samuel L. Jackson → Kong: Skull Island.
Jackson holding court about director Jordan Vogt-Roberts as an amateur, illustrating Jackson's professionalism standard.
“he was loudly holding court over what a fucking disaster Jordan Vote Roberts was on Kong Skull Island.”
career (career):
Samuel L. Jackson → Jungle Fever.
Jackson used his real crack addiction in Jungle Fever, which made his career and earned a first-ever supporting prize at Cannes.
“Right, which is the 1st time that the con film festival is ever given out a supporting award.”
programming (programming):
Kevin Feige → Inhumans (announced film).
Feige's Phase 3 keynote, staged like an Apple unveiling, announced Captain Marvel, Boseman, and a joke 'Inhumans movie with Vin Diesel'.
“Feige doing that weird keynote address where he was doing like his Steve Jobs impression and announcing the phase 3 films.”
programming (programming):
The Avengers → Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D..
Coulson was brought back for the TV show but kept out of the movies, signaling the TV show is only loosely connected.
“you can be in the TV show, like, because we need, you know, a star for the show”
craft (craft):
The Avengers → Idiocracy.
Black Widow's origin tangent: Tony's rushed Iron Man 2 pitch reminded Griffin of the endless slides gag in Idiocracy.
“Do you know what one of my favorite jokes in the history of movies is?”
fun, about
Bob Fosse:
Fosse died in Verdon's arms at an intersection in Washington DC during a Sweet Charity revival; friends dined on his tab per his will; a producer's last message from Bobby was about a script.
“All his friends go out to dinner on his tab, which was specified in his will.”
fun, about
Box office week:
Nov 1983 chart: Big Chill, Never Say Never Again, Richard Pryor Here and Now, Deal of the Century (dropped from #1), All the Right Moves; Return of the Jedi at 18.
“Number 5 of the box office is an early film from a big star.”
fun, about
Cabaret:
Cabaret beat The Godfather for best director; to Julie it keeps getting more relevant, with the distorted Nazis in the brass at the end.
fun, about
Kubrick miniseries:
Next is Kubrick, starting with Fear and Desire and Killer's Kiss in one episode; Julie asks them to think of Star 80 when discussing Clockwork Orange.
“But yeah, 1st our 1st cubric episode is killer kiss and fear and desire.”
fun, about
An Angel at My Table:
Griffin's best-line story: the film has no quotes page, so he scrubbed to the scene for the line about longing to be as full of secrets as she seemed to be.
“I long to be as full of secrets as she seemed to be”
fun, about
The Last Emperor:
Campion's fear of attachment: she loved the middle kid in The Last Emperor and was mad when he grew up, so she timed Angel's actor switches for happy moments.
“I was basically afraid like, oh, you're gonna love one of them and you're gonna, you know, miss them when they're gone.”
fun, about
Moonlight:
Griffin admits he was so Moonlight-pilled he assumed Kerry Fox would be the entire third part, and only 30 minutes into part two realized she had arrived.
“I was so like moonlight pilled watching this movie”
fun, about
An Angel at My Table:
The photograph sequence: a sister missing from the photo, her death, then the photo restored with an arm added; Janet watches and listens, a writer in the making.
“the photographer did this weird thing where he cut her out of this photo and made her her own photo and then added her arm there.”
fun, about
Jane Campion:
Campion on New Zealand: the first European painters' pictures were thought exaggerated because of the clear air and black shadows.
fun, about
An Angel at My Table:
Fancy free, said by a boarding-house man warning her about men, becomes Griffin's life-changing discovery and a debate about whether it means single.
fun, about
Starman marketing:
Studio feared the John Carpenter's name would mislabel it as horror; market research said it just read as a stamp of quality, the most validating thing Carpenter heard to that point.
fun, about
Starman development:
Directors who passed or left: Badham, Adrian Lyne, Tony Scott, Mark Rydell, Peter Hyams; everyone who turned it down made a hit.
fun, about
Michael Douglas / Starman:
Douglas developed Starman as his own star vehicle; they all agree he would have been a disaster in the alien role, a cad and slimeball.
“Michael Douglas was the one who originally developed this movie because he wants a star in it and that would have been a disaster.”
fun, about
Baz Luhrmann:
Griffin saw Luhrmann in Forbidden Planet buying a Wonder Woman umbrella, looking at comics 'like he was Starman, tilting his entire head'.
“And he walked around the store for like 20 minutes looking at comic books like he was Starman”
fun, about
Karen Allen:
Allen turned down the offer at first: a human actor playing an alien, no chemistry for 75 percent of the film; they talked her in.
“pointedly has to spend 75% of the running time having no chemistry with the only person she shares scenes with.”
fun, about
Starman casting:
Kevin Bacon (Carpenter's Christine pick who took Footloose) nearly played Starman; Tom Cruise was courted too but did Legend.
“Carpenter wanted him for Christine and he chose Footloose instead.”
fun, about
Starman transformation:
The baby-to-man transformation by Winston, Baker and Smith; Bridges claimed it would be one unbroken shot; they cut to her reactions.
“You watch a baby turn into like an adult me and it's all in one unbroken shot.”
fun, about
Starman cinematography:
Not shot by Dean Cundy: Carpenter quote says they had a parting of the ways and would need to clear up attitude problems before working again.
fun, about
Starman scene to see:
Diner scene: she orders deviled egg sandwich and pie; he asks why you can't eat the pie first and she says 'I don't know. That's just the way things.'
fun, about
Hank the Cow Dog:
Jeff Nichols is making a scripted children's podcast starring Matthew McConaughey as Hank the Cow Dog; Griffin reads the cast list.
“5 episodes of the scripted children's podcast, Hank the Cow Dog”
fun, about
Eastwood and Reynolds:
Studio exec shredded both in a meeting; Reynolds grinned: 'I can learn how to act. What are you going to do with that Adam's apple?'
“Every else was like, yeah, but I can learn how to act.”
fun, about
Jason Reitman / Ghostbusters: Afterlife:
The hosts recount Reitman's origin story for Afterlife (a girl in a cornfield with a proton pack) and mock it.
“And then one day I was suddenly just struck with this image of a little girl standing in the middle of a cornfield wearing a proton pack”
fun, about
Britney Spears:
Britney's 'Toxic' is declared the objective best Britney song, and David burned a CD with it on twenty times; they pitch a Nausicaä remix with spores.
fun, about
Toxic Crusaders:
An intern at Troma pitched a Toxic Crusaders cartoon revival to Adult Swim; after six months in filing cabinets he found cels and audio tracks but never the contracts.
“I could never find the contracts to be able to do it.”
fun, about
Donkey Kong:
Nintendo almost got sued by Universal over Donkey Kong; someone checked and found nobody had registered King Kong, so Nintendo got the Donkey Kong trademark first.
fun, about
Nausicaä cutout bugs:
For most of the film the big bugs are cutout animation: four pieces of paper compressed like an accordion, essentially two-dimensional stop motion, which gives them an alien look.
“the big bugs are like 4 different pieces of paper that they compress and expand like an accordion.”
fun, about
Nausicaä production:
Animators on Nausicaä were paid per frame, so the film is full of cheats like cutout animation for the big bugs and layered cels where only a hand moves, and Griffin loves seeing the seams.
fun, about
Nausicaä plot confusion:
Both hosts confess the three-faction setup (Valley, Tolmekians, Pejite) is hard to follow; one watched it over four or five hours with breaks and regretted not using the dub.
“I feel like I spent 4 or 5 hours watching this movie because I kept on taking breaks to try to like reorient myself.”
fun, about
Nausicaä's dub:
The Disney dub is a time capsule: Alison Lohman, Patrick Stewart, Shia LaBeouf just before Transformers; Griffin cannot stop hearing Picard under Yupa.
fun, about
Sundance 2019:
Griffin leaned over to his seatmate after The Farewell premiere and called it incredible, which he says he never does at festivals, then started crying hours later thinking about the final shot.
fun, about
Toy Story 4:
The moment that nearly makes Griffin cry is the opening, with the toys huddled in a box under a car in the rain, selling how small and powerless they are.
“The moment that makes me come closest to crying in Toy Story 4 is the opening.”
fun, about
Princess Mononoke / Toshio Suzuki:
When Weinstein wanted cuts, Suzuki mailed him a katana with a note reading 'no cuts'; the hosts treat it as the most badass thing they have heard.
“He mailed him a massive, incredibly sharp and dangerous samurai sword with a note that just said, no cuts.”
fun, about
Mary Poppins Returns:
Griffin says Rob Marshall is a great choreographer who undermines it by cutting away from the lamplighter dance number, while Meryl Streep says yes to anything he asks.
fun, about
Nausicaä's ending:
Miyazaki told an interviewer he did not want Nausicaä to look like a religious figure but saw the last shot read as a religious painting; catharsis was something he never wanted to do again.
“I didn't intend her to make her Joan of Arc. And I want to get rid of any religious undertone.”
fun, about
The Lion King:
Griffin finds the photorealism makes Timon and Pumbaa eating bugs feel cruel since the bugs visibly act scared and have no faces.
“I was like, this movie doesn't understand that this is fucked up now.”
fun, about
Hayao Miyazaki:
A notorious 1984 interview: Miyazaki explains Nausicaä's large chest as there so she can embrace dying people and make them feel secure.
“I think her buzzing needs to be large, so she can embrace all those old men and the women who are in the castle when they're dying.”
fun, about
Keanu Reeves:
Asked by Colbert what happens when we die, Keanu answered that the ones who love us will miss us dearly, then went straight to a John Wick plug.
fun, about
Griffin Newman:
At sleepaway camp he taped newspaper Apes ads to his bunk wall, then learned from counselors the night before his dad signed him out that it was awful.
“Every day I would confiscate the newspapers from the counselors and cut out the ads for Plan of the Apes and tape them to my bunk wall.”
fun, about
Paul Verhoeven:
Seeing a Bosch painting with a man taking a dump in the background made young Verhoeven say that was the art he wanted to make.
“there was a man leaning against a shed taking a shit.”
fun, about
Emmanuel Lubezki:
Griffin spotted three-time Oscar-winning cinematographer Emmanuel Lubezki eating a burger with his parents at Apple Pan in Los Angeles, and calls him Marty rather than Chivo.
“Three time, a historic and historic, three time Academy Award winner for best cinematography, consecutive awards. Emmanuel Labesky.”
fun, about
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest:
Griffin spent a month arguing at an NYU summer program that Pirates 2 made no sense, then realized years later he had slept through 15 minutes of it.
“I realized 2 years later when I saw it on cable that I'd fallen asleep for 15 minutes”
fun, about
Lady in the Water:
Other kids at Griffin's NYU summer program saw it and came back to the cafeteria yelling snarf, snarf, snarf, mocking the film.
“At the cafeteria, they were going snarf, snarf, snarf, snarf.”
fun, about
Lady in the Water:
Shyamalan demanded the set be within 45 minutes of his Pennsylvania home and timed the trip at 43 minutes; the whole apartment complex and pool were built for the film at a Levittown warehouse site.
“Shamalan demanded that the set be within 45 minutes of his Pennsylvania home.”
fun, about
Lady in the Water:
An IMDb trivia fact claims 9 across could not touch 27 down in the crossword Mr. Dury does, since it would need to be 19 letters long.
“It would have to be at least 19 layers long to do so.”
fun, about
Cindy Cheung:
Per trivia, her agent demanded one million dollars for her role while Shyamalan wanted to pay SAG minimum of 65,000; they settled at 100,000.
fun, about
Lady in the Water:
Shyamalan's wish list for supporting roles reportedly included Pacino, De Niro, Gene Wilder, Sidney Poitier, Vince Vaughn, Alec Baldwin and more, all men.
fun, about
Paul Giamatti:
The milk mustache scene: Giamatti rolls on a couch with milk on his beard to seem innocent for the grandmother, and the amount of milk changes between cuts.
“the amount of milk on his mustache changes per every time they cut”
fun, about
Bob Balaban:
Balaban's critic, the next victim, delivers a meta monologue noting that in a movie with no explicit content they will not actually show someone murdered on camera.
“They will not actually let someone be murdered on camera.”
fun, about
The Buried Secret of M. Night Shyamalan:
Griffin had an acting job in the mockumentary that was almost entirely cut out, and cashed a 150 dollar check he was told was SAG minimum.
“That was my 1st acting job that was almost entirely cut out.”
fun, about
The Man Who Heard Voices:
The book on the making of the film records that Shyamalan left Disney when Nina Jacobson took her son to a party instead of reading the script he had couriered to her.
“Shamlon had it personally couriered to her and had insult to injury.”
fun, about
Inception:
Griffin's read: Inception as Nolan's movie about filmmaking, which maps to Lady in the Water, with a team of specialized roles saving a woman named Story.
“This is a movie in which a woman whose name is story is like has to be saved and protected and carried off into the sky by a whole team of people”
fun, about
Robert Downey Jr.:
His first on-screen line in his father's film Pound, at four or five, was a crude one about body hair, which says a lot about the household.
“And his 1st line is, what, you don't think I got hair on my balls?”
fun, about
Ally McBeal:
Downey's fourth-season arrival was hailed as the best television performance ever; he won a Golden Globe, got an Emmy nomination, then was fired for not showing up.
“Yeah, he doesn't show up or whatever, and yeah, they fire him.”
fun, about
Susan Downey:
The legend: on the Gothika set Susan asked Downey why he was not the biggest star in the world, and made it her life's mission to make him one.
fun, about
Iron Man:
A host recalls his father's reaction to Downey being cast as Iron Man: scraping the bottom of the barrel, the movie is a predetermined flop.
“they're really scraping the bottom of the barrel, huh?”
fun, about
Iron Man:
Downey made the least money of any actor on the first film (Terrence Howard got three times as much), then wanted a proportionate raise for the second.
fun, about
Due Date:
Todd Phillips said he made Due Date to see how far he could push Downey's oddness and prickliness before audiences stopped liking him. One host calls the film a secret masterpiece.
fun, about
The Judge:
Three minutes in, a supposedly serious drama opens with Downey peeing on David Krumholtz at a urinal, complete with an insert shot of urine on polished shoes. The hosts treat this as the first sign the director cannot stop being a Dobkin comedy director.
“Minute 3 of the movie, it's a drama. Rardine Jr., an adult male is peeing on another adult male”
fun, about
The Judge (trailer):
The trailer bills Downey, Duvall, Farmiga and D'Onofrio as Academy Award nominees or winners, leaving Billy Bob Thornton the only name with an empty title card.
“There are 5 names and he's the only one who gets nothing. His title card looks so naked.”
fun, about
Dax Shepard:
His Judge character is so afraid of cross-examining in court that he vomits before each appearance, and one host calls him the best character in the film.
“He's a man with such intense stage fight when it comes to performing in chlorate that he vomits extensively every time before.”
fun, about
Robert Duvall:
Duvall is such a classic Duvall that the hosts would rather see a movie of him as a Judge Judy-style town judge, even a reality show.
“I would go show up to watch him, dude. I would watch the reality show.”
fun, about
David Dobkin:
Bar mitzvah analogy: Dobkin plays it solemn like a 13-year-old reading from the Torah to prove he is a man, then slips back into pee jokes at the party.
“It feels like the way that 13 year old boys have to act during their bar mitzvah, during the actual service in the Torah portion where they really have to put on the ears that they are now a man.”
fun, about
The Judge:
The shower scene: Downey hoses a soiled Duvall down with a handheld shower head, and the only shot they can't forget is the stained legs and the drain.
“you just see shit running down his legs down the drain.”
fun, about
The Judge:
The Judge was Griffin's SAG screener and David's last Oscar-year completism watch; a 'Judging the Judge' sequel joke runs through the intro and outro.
fun, about
Oz the Great and Powerful:
Griffin claims Zach Braff is funny in it as a porcelain monkey in a bellhop uniform; David refuses to give him that one.
fun, about
Dick (1999) weekend:
The first weekend of August 1999 was Griffin's favorite box office weekend: Iron Giant, Mystery Men, and Dick all bombed while The Sixth Sense won; Dick opened outside the top ten.
“It is a dick, which opened outside of the top 10.”