Loves the Friday series as a communal, rental-era memory and tells childhood stories about the ads and theaters. Likes casting what-ifs and sports analogies for everything. Skeptical of horror at Christmas and of anything that wastes the premise.
Stances
Friday the 13th is not the best entry but the origin story had to be told
Friday 2 is a leap over the original
Humor: Digressive, sports-analogy heavy, and self-teasing about his office and Rewatchables running gags.
In their words
“There was 2 commercials, spring, summer, 1980 that scared the fuck out of me.” (0:07:38)
Loves Halloween and the 1970s; admires the film's craft and rewatchability, especially Leatherface's unintentional comedy. Hates Franklin, hitchhikers, and unlikely logistics. Uses sports and pop-culture analogies for everything.
Stances
The film is a rewatchable, not just a great movie
Leatherface is the hilarious favorite slasher
The hitchhiker is scarier than Leatherface
Hooper won the movie
Humor: Runs sports, NFL and podcast-world analogies and mock-outrage bits against Craig and the staff.
In their words
“I think it is a rewatchable, but I'm willing to hear the other side of it” (0:01:29)
Loves from-hell thrillers and movies that are fun to talk about even when they fail; a Boston guy who remembers where he saw things (Zoolander two weeks after 9/11). Can't stand a movie that wastes a good premise. A sucker for hoops details and stars' career arcs.
Stances
Domestic Disturbance is bad but a rewatchable good-bad movie
Vaughn and Travolta are mismatched to their roles
Cut footage and PG-13 killed the movie
Humor: Dry, trivia-heavy, with self-mockery about his own research and notes.
In their words
“I'm so relieved that this is how you're framing it.” (0:03:10)
“I saw Zoolander in the theater in Boston.” (0:11:47)
Loves ranking, tallies and lists (Pantheon, Hall of Fame, Mount Rushmores), and treats the show like a sports franchise with categories as awards. Hates inauthentic, silly-looking athletics and bad stinkers, and has always disliked narration (now conceding). Sucker for Midnight Run, Almost Famous, and sports analogies for everything.
Stances
Concedes narration is fine when the movie is good
Wants to build a Rewatchables Hall of Fame with plaques
Wants to rewatch Midnight Run
Treats the cell-phone conspiracy as plausible
Humor: Self-deprecating bits about his own mispronunciations and sports-metaphor overreach.
In their words
“Okay, these are all actual emails from actual listeners.” (0:04:36)
Loves sports movies, tropes and underdog arcs; loves racing movies more than real racing. Can't stand people who throw cards. Sucker for Pacino speeches, Pitt as an old-school star, and hot takes about better endings.
Stances
F1 is the movie of the 2020s on feel
Sonny should have crashed and JP won
Brad Pitt is above Matt Damon in culture
Nobody should throw cards for fun
Humor: Dry listmaker who stages bits and fake categories with deadpan.
In their words
“This is a better movie if Sonny crashes.” (0:55:40)
“I don't like anybody in real life or in movies that throws cards for fun.” (1:19:45)
Loves 1980s teen comedies and the Hughes run, ranking The Breakfast Club an all timer; lists teen movies by year and tracks careers and what-ifs. Rates the movie fun but is bothered by how Lisa is written and by the age gap in the kiss.
Stances
Weird Science is a super fun watch with weird elements you must factor in with the 80s
Anthony Michael Hall should have been a bigger star
Hottest take: Lisa sucks
Humor: Dry list-making and award names, reading research aloud like a deadpan docket.
In their words
“And I mentioned this because I was 15 years old when I saw this movie in the theater.” (0:03:11)
“They're both pantheon for me, but breakfast club's an all timer for me.” (1:23:34)
Loves sprawling statistics and lists (genre-checkbox years, Carrey's run) and a good Oscars grievance. Cannot resist a bit about bars, themed restaurants and sports metaphors. A sucker for the 1990s and for movies that hold up on repeat.
Stances
Carrey's 94-2000 run is the best by a comedian
1998 checked every genre box
Movies should run about 100 minutes
Humor: Rapid-fire riffs that fold sports and gambling into movie talk.
In their words
“Carries the star, obviously, and carries in this heater from 94 to 2000.” (0:27:23)
“I think 1998 is in the running for the greatest checking all the boxes movie year we've ever had.” (1:06:05)
Loves 80s TV that wrecks him (China Beach), cool-guy actors like Madsen, and big dumb 90s movies sold on a single premise. Teased for being a sucker for the Hollywood Hills guy's lifestyle. Dislikes Sil-adjacent logic holes less than he enjoys them.
Stances
Species is a great B movie that gets a pass
Wants Madsen and Helgenberger to have been a TV duo
Would be Robbie in another life
Humor: Deadpan sports-and-pop-culture analogies and self-aware sleaze.
In their words
“I fucking love China Beach.” (0:07:15)
“Bill, you see yourself as Robbie, huh?” (0:37:46)
Loves 80s and 90s crowd-pleasers, Goodfellas as his favorite movie, and a good Hollywood backstory. Can't stand pot smoke and bike traffic in modern New York, Pee-wee, or Jade. A sucker for actresses who deserved better careers (Arquette, Fiorentino) and sports-brain comparisons.
Stances
Fiorentino and Arquette were robbed of better careers
80s Scorsese is the best
Warriors is superior to After Hours as a night movie
Tom Hanks or Keaton would improve the lead
Humor: Breathless riffs, absurd hypotheticals (kill Reagan for Arquette) and sports analogies.
In their words
“I don't know how Linda Fiorentino was never on the Sopranos.” (1:09:50)
“Would you have killed Ronald Reagan for Rosanne Arquette?” (0:33:25)
Loves the pop-culture web of the 80s: songs, TV, sports ads and movie stars tied together, and reads Ebert and old press clippings. Will take a bold contrarian stance (Tess may be the villain) and invents award categories. Cannot stand an unexplained plot hole or a premise that ruins itself, but forgives absurdity when the emotion works.
Stances
Tess might be the villain; she took Catherine's idea, boyfriend and job
The Pointer Sisters' 'I'm So Excited' is secretly the most important pop-culture song
Humor: Runs deadpan bits and invented awards, and teases co-hosts' obsessions.
In their words
“is secretly the most important pop culture song of all time.” (1:27:43)
“Are we sure Tess isn't the villain of this movie?” (1:59:14)
Loves Rocky as a cultural phenomenon he lived through in 1976, and the sports-movie recipe it created. Loves the casting what-if games and the running categories. Can't stand slow courtship scenes in 2025 terms. A sucker for Stallone and for lore.
Stances
Rocky is one of the most important movies of the last 50 years
Rocky was a phenomenon in 1976, comparable to Jaws and Star Wars
Stallone wins the movie
All the President's Men should have won the Oscar
Humor: Drops running bits (Ebert, hot takes, categories) and teases the others about Boston and doo-wop.
In their words
“I saw in Dedham, Massachusetts with my dad.” (0:08:57)
Loves football, sports movies and the long run of sports books and shows; likes nitpicks and ranking lists. Fond of Billy Bob Thornton and the TV show, with a Grantland-era sense of history. Enjoys odds, lines and fantasy-football talk.
Stances
Friday Night Lights is a top-six football movie, behind The Longest Yard
Movies where the good guys lose are great for rewatchability
Billy Bob should have been the TV Coach Taylor, as a career move
Coach Gaines is arguably a bad coach
Cruise is too small and not Texan, so Hanks wins
Humor: Banter, tallies and running-bit award names, plus deadpan wagers and career-strategist asides.
In their words
“I think Billy Bob should have played the coach in the TV show.” (1:17:08)
“I think longest yard is just number one.” (1:39:56)
Loves the whole texture of Pulp Fiction and builds the whole show around categories and awards. Cares about specific lines, casting what-ifs, and bits that tie to sports (Paul George, Dion Waiters, NBA draft). Can't stand lazy nitpicks and the weak link of Fabienne's 12 minutes. A sucker for diners, milkshakes, and the lifestyle nostalgia of the movie.
Stances
Fabienne's 12 minutes is the weakest part of Pulp Fiction
Dump 8 of those minutes for a real Wilson vs Coolidge boxing sequence
Vincent Vega is completely incompetent
Cruise as Vincent or Butch is the Apex Mountain casting pick
Humor: Runs category gags and sports analogies, and escalates absurd 'unanswerable questions'.
In their words
“Well, we have some bonus categories for this one.” (0:02:34)
“I will say that for as awesome as this film has so many great shots.” (1:11:22)
“I hate to tell Tarantino what to do, who's incredible creative achievement, but if you dump 8 of the 12 minutes with Butch's girlfriend,” (1:36:04)
He disliked Twister in 1996 because it felt like the start of the effects-driven blockbuster era but now loves it for the old-school feel of real danger. He is a sucker for summer-calendar history, box office numbers, and a movie you can leave on for three days. He reads casting and career arcs through NBA and NFL analogies.
Stances
Twister is underrated and he held it unfairly in 1996
Practical effects make the actors feel in actual danger
1996 is the year the summer blockbuster calendar was set
Jonas should have had more scenes
Disaster movies should be natural disasters and not star the Rock
Humor: Sports analogies for everything, dry running bits, and mock-outrage over the group's picks.
In their words
“I watched it twice in the last week.” (0:03:10)
“I actually like it more than I've ever liked it in my life.” (0:03:12)
“I treated it this time around, like basically tried to recreate the circumstances of an old school rewatchable” (0:10:05)
Loves the 90s Myers era (Wayne's World, Axe Murderer) more than the Powers films. A sucker for Heather Graham and Garth-style sidekicks. Dislikes the rap song and the Fat Bastard sleeping bit; wants comedians to stay comedians.
Stances
Myers era best in Wayne's World/Axe Murderer
Comedians should not go serious
Mike Myers won the movie
Humor: Digressive trivia dropper and conspiracy-tangent jokester.
In their words
“We never want them to become serious actors.” (0:15:47)
Loves 80s movie-star careers, studio and box-office lore, and Kathleen Turner as a teenage ideal. Cannot stand wasted runtime and the DeVito framing scenes. A sucker for production trivia, deleted scenes and Phil Collins-style what-ifs.
Stances
The DeVito framing scenes are the weak link and could be cut
Turner is the better performer in the Douglas/Turner combo
The dog should have been made into pate
Roses is 'hall of fame' evidence that they don't make movies like this anymore
Humor: Dry, list-making and rhetorical, with sports analogies and running-bit category names.
In their words
“But man, when I was growing up in the 80s.” (0:08:23)
“She was like my platonic ideal for like someday I hope I get to marry somebody like Kathleen Turner.” (0:08:26)
“The Danny DeVito scenes, even though there's good wisdom in them” (0:48:09)
“I think it's more important that they both actually die than that you know for sure that the dog died.” (1:05:02)
Bill loves Richard Gere's charisma at full power and a movie that gets more unhinged as it goes. He keeps the categories moving and loves sports analogies and long-ago junket stories. He is a sucker for a villain you end up rooting for, and he is dismissive of Bad Lieutenant for trying too hard.
Stances
Gere's Dennis Peck is his best performance
He actually wants more dirty-cop movies
Bad Lieutenant is not a rewatchable
Humor: Sports-flavored riffs and mock-awards, like the Rick Dalton Award, and impressions.
In their words
“I think this is his best performance in a movie.” (0:09:09)
“Little like Kenny Pickett on the Steelers.” (0:18:52)
“I interviewed Ron Silver at the Ali Junket in 2001.” (0:51:48)
Bill loves Pacino's swagger and Any Given Sunday, loves Heat, and treats the Michael Mann signature as a thing he can pick at, calling out the slow-motion ending and score as dated. He is a sports guy who can't let go of the Knicks 'semifinals' line, and he has little patience for stray bad casting like Wings Hauser. He is a sucker for scenery-chewers like Bruce McGill.
Stances
Pacino's Any Given Sunday is his favorite Pacino performance other than The Godfather
The slow-motion ending is bad and tacky
Cigarette smoking in movies makes people look cool
Pacino should have smoked in this movie
Humor: Digressive and comic, uses sports analogies (LeBron, Knicks, Dion Waiters) and bits that run on.
In their words
“The Inch's speech is all time for me and that movie's terrible and he's carrying it like LeBron carried the 2007 caps.” (0:09:36)
Loves The Big Chill enough to make it his birthday movie and has seen it more than almost anything. Cares about football-movie accuracy, soundtrack craft and the 80s ensemble dramedy. Can't stand bad touch football scenes and the Oscars' snubs.
Stances
The Big Chill is a movie he returns to again and again
Touch football in movies is never done right
Kasdan's first five years are the greatest screenwriting run
Humor: Runs bits and riffs, jokes about the show's low bar and his own friends.
In their words
“Every year on my birthday, we do a movie that I love, and this year we're doing the big chill.” (0:00:58)
“I've never been satisfied with the movie touch football scene.” (1:34:03)
Loves quotable, rewatchable movies (Godfather, Goodfellas, Casino, Speed), the Sopranos, and craps and sports analogies. Hates narrators generally, but allows this one. Sucker for lists, categories, and made-up channels.
Stances
Lessons from the movie are the best part; 'nobody cares' wins
Bar-intro scene is a Goodfellas rip
Chazz Palminteri won the movie
Hasn't seen John Wick 4 yet; will wait for the perfect time
Humor: Runs the format as a bit machine, with channel pitches, rankings, and teasing his co-hosts.
In their words
“I hate narrators.” (1:10:32)
“I always wanted an all-jail movie channel called Bars, B-A-R-Z.” (1:05:05)
Their shows' recurring bits
Running bits, not opinions; a critic read aloud is cited, not present.
The Big Picture
Drafts: Hosts and guests draft films in rounds; every pick is a recommendation with an argument.
Hall of Fame: A star's or director's best, ranked and argued.
Countdowns: Ranked lists, top five or top ten.
The Rewatchables
Apex Mountain: The moment a star peaks; where on the mountain a performance sits.
Who Won the Movie: The hosts name the person who came out of the film best off.
The Ebert review: Roger Ebert's original review and star rating read aloud. Ebert is cited, never on the show.
Casting what-ifs: Who was almost cast, or who should have been.
Most rewatchable scene: The scene each host would stop on while flipping channels.
Aged best / aged worst: What holds up and what does not.
Picking Nits: The little things in a film the hosts love that they don't think totally work: the nits.
Double feature: The film each host would pair it with; a programming pick.
career (chain: SNL comeback):
Fletch → Lorne Michaels.
Chase's mid-80s comeback with Three Amigos reunited him with Lorne Michaels and Spies Like Us with Dan Aykroyd.
“The 3 amigos get some back with Lorne Michaels, which is huge.”
theme (persona parallel):
Michael Keaton → Night Shift.
Keaton was the other 80s wiseass; in Night Shift he is a cocky shithead, and Night Shift is a forgotten movie like Seems Like Old Times.
“But I'm saying like when he, like he's in night shift, that guy's just like a cocky shithead, basically.”
lineage (source material):
Fletch → Gregory McDonald.
Fletch adapts the McDonald novels; the noir voiceover feels like the book, the ad-libbed scenes deviate.
unmapped (mocked expectation):
Roger Ebert → The Killing Fields.
Mock-Ebert asks why Fletch is not like serious dramas such as The Killing Fields or Chariots of Fire.
people (athlete-actor contender):
Jim Brown → The Dirty Dozen.
Brown offered as most successful athlete-actor: Mars Attacks, Any Given Sunday, Running Man, Dirty Dozen.
“Dirty dozen was like an actual real role in a great movie.”
people (director filmography):
Michael Ritchie → Downhill Racer.
Ritchie is called the best sports-movie director ever on the strength of Downhill Racer, Bad News Bears, Semi-Tough, Wildcats and Diggstown.
“This is the this is the all-time best sports movie director ever.”
people (composer trajectory):
Harold Faltermeyer → Top Gun.
Faltermeyer scored Beverly Hills Cop then Fletch; the sky is the limit after, literally with Top Gun.
people (director filmography):
Philip Noyce → Clear and Present Danger.
Noyce directed The Saint, Sliver and Clear and Present Danger; Bill wants to rewatch Clear and Present Danger.
“I'd love to do clear and present danger on this podcast.”
what-if (casting what-if):
Matthew Broderick → Family Ties.
Broderick was first choice for Alex P. Keaton and turned it down, raising a Back to the Future ripple question.
“He was the 1st choice to play Alex P. Keaton in Family Ties.”
what-if (casting what-if):
Matthew Broderick → Back to the Future.
If Broderick took Family Ties, would Michael J. Fox have played Ferris and Broderick Marty McFly.
“if Matthew Broderick's in family ties, does that mean he's then in back to the future? and Michael J. Fox's Ferris Bueller?”
what-if (casting what-if):
Matthew Broderick → Point Break.
Broderick turned down Johnny Utah, which went to Keanu; hosts say he is too slight and not a quarterback type.
“He turned down the role of Johnny Utah, point break.”
career (creator self-projection):
John Hughes → The Breakfast Club.
Hughes is a cross between Hall's Breakfast Club character and Cameron, and did his best writing for those guys.
“my guess would be he was kind of a cross between Anthony Michael Hall's breakfast club character and Cameron in a lot of ways”
unmapped (critical disagreement):
Roger Ebert → Gene Siskel.
Siskel disliked Ferris over Chicago accuracy, while Ebert gave it three stars and later Roeper made it his favorite.
craft (comedic device):
Ferris Bueller's Day Off → Beverly Hills Cop.
Impersonating people over multiple phones to outwit annoying people peaked in Ferris, Beverly Hills Cop, and Fletch.
“This was peak trying to outwit really fucking annoying people by pretending to be different characters and using different phones.”
craft (cut music):
Robert Smith → Ferris Bueller's Day Off.
Robert Smith wrote original museum music that failed in screening; replaced by an instrumental of a Smiths song.
“the music that they got rid of is was written for the movie by Robert Smith from The Cure.”
unmapped (same year):
Ferris Bueller's Day Off → Platoon.
Oscar year 1986 pairs Platoon with Ferris, and Platoon's nominees are listed alongside the 1986 supporting actor race.
“Lucas, Ferris Bueller, Platoon. Iconic one year.”
what-if (casting what-if):
Paul Gleason → The Breakfast Club.
Gleason, Dick Vernon in Breakfast Club, was considered for Rooney; hosts debate if that is too distracting.
“Paul Gleason considered. For the role of Ed Rooney.”
unmapped (sibling film):
Ferris Bueller's Day Off → The Breakfast Club.
The two were basically filmed simultaneously at Shermer High, which also hosts Weird Science and Sixteen Candles.
“Ferris Bewer and Breakfast Club were basically filmed simultaneously in Shermer High.”
theme (shared location):
Ferris Bueller's Day Off → Weird Science.
Shermer High is the location for Weird Science, Sixteen Candles, Breakfast Club, and Ferris.
“Shermer High is the location for weird science, um, 16 candles, Breakfast Club, and Ferris Bueller.”
people (that guy filmography):
Max Perlich → Beautiful Girls.
Classroom actor Perlich also appears in Beautiful Girls, My Own Private Idaho, and Drugstore Cowboy.
“Is he in my own private Idaho or drugstore cowboy?”
what-if (casting what-if):
Ronny Cox → Total Recall.
Ronny Cox's 83 to 90 run playing guys in charge makes him a Rooney candidate, tied to a past Total Recall episode.
theme (shared location):
Ferris Bueller's Day Off → The Blues Brothers.
Chez Louis is the same restaurant as in Blues Brothers and St. Elmo's Fire, a three-year span of iconic 80s restaurant movies.
“Same restaurant as the Blues Brothers, with Elwood and Jake.”
theme (genre: Chicago movies):
Ferris Bueller's Day Off → About Last Night.
Ferris is argued as the Apex Mountain for Chicago in movies, alongside Blues Brothers and About Last Night.
“is this is this Apex Mountain for Chicago in movies.”
theme (genre: all in one day):
Ferris Bueller's Day Off → Dazed and Confused.
Other nominees for the all-in-one-day genre include Dazed and Confused, Dog Day Afternoon, Before Sunrise/Sunset, Do the Right Thing.
“Dazed and Confused, dog day afternoon. Um, the before sunrise before sunset movies. Do the right thing is on that list.”
unmapped (year context):
Ferris Bueller's Day Off → Back to the Future.
Hughes has the biggest cultural footprint of 80s directors, involved in five of the fifteen biggest 80s movies, plus Home Alone.
“out of the 15 biggest 80s movies. I think he was involved in five.”
career (career comparison):
Brad Pitt → Newitski.
Simmons compares the role's effect on Pitt to a title lifting an already Hall of Fame player (the transcript renders it 'Newitski', a mangled Dirk Nowitzki).
“I compared it to when Newitski, when the title in 2011, where Newitski was a Hall of Famer anyway”
“Tarantino wanted it to look like the Texas Chainsaw Massacre and had his crew research, Texas Chant, and the whole feel of it and how desolate it was.”
lineage (visual influence):
Once Upon a Time in Hollywood → Apocalypse Now.
The dogs at Spahn Ranch play the role of the Duvall helicopters, constantly present and disorienting.
unmapped (script anecdote):
Once Upon a Time in Hollywood → True Romance.
Sharon watching her own movie came from Tarantino sneaking into a theater showing True Romance; Pitt's acid-trip moment is likened to Floyd from True Romance.
“he's basically Floyd from True Romance for the 1st 2 minutes of that scene”
lineage (ad-lib source):
Brad Pitt → True Romance.
Pitt's ad-libbed line was based on an actor who told him the same in the early 90s; they guess True Romance's Michael Rapaport/Saul Rubinek.
“You're Rick fucking Dalton, don't you forget it?”
unmapped (LA movie):
Once Upon a Time in Hollywood → Heat.
Heat is floated as a best Los Angeles movie in a list including Boyz n the Hood and Nightcrawler.
“This, uh, he, Boys in the Hood, Nightcrawler, like what else?”
verdict (favorite actors):
Quentin Tarantino → Michael Madsen.
Tarantino has gotten the best out of actors like Travolta, Madsen, Jamie Foxx, David Carradine.
programming (programming):
Saturday Night Live → Eddie Murphy.
Being on SNL meant Eddie brought it every week; his movies were not shot 18 months earlier, he was appointment viewing.
“oh, he was like on television every weekend was appointment viewing.”
verdict (verdict):
Beverly Hills Cop → Roger Ebert.
Ebert gave the film 2.5 stars, calling Eddie a victim of the Star Magic Syndrome.
“Eddie Murphy looks like the latest victim of the Star Magic Syndrome, in which it is assumed that a movie will be a hit simply because it stars enormously talented person.”
industry (industry):
Eddie Murphy → Walter Hill.
Eddie mostly worked with really good directors early: Walter Hill, Tony Scott, Robert Townsend, Landis, with Brest the exception.
“Walter Hill, Tony Scott, Robert Townsend, doing shooting the comedy special,”
career (career):
Jonathan Banks → Breaking Bad.
Banks was a first-ballot-hall-of-fame 'that guy' from Wiseguy and BHC until Breaking Bad made his name.
“And then Breaking Bad happened and he became Jonathan Banks.”
career (career):
Bronson Pinchot → Dion Waiters.
Pinchot's two scenes leading to a sitcom is likened to a Dion Waiters-style success story, awarded the Dion Waiters Award.
industry (industry):
Beverly Hills Cop → Michael Eisner.
Eisner claims he came up with the idea after a speeding ticket in 1975; Simpson claimed it from 1977.
“in 1975, he got a speeding ticket with a cop, thought the guy was a little bit of a dick”
verdict (verdict):
Reservoir Dogs → Roger Ebert.
Ebert gave it 2.5 of 4, saying the script lacked curiosity about the characters; the hosts call it a miss.
“But Tarantino's script does not have much curiosity about the characters, gave it 2.5 stars out of four.”
lineage (lineage):
Reservoir Dogs → The Killing.
Tarantino said Reservoir Dogs was his version of Kubrick's heist film, without meaning it as a ripoff.
“but I did think of it as my killing, my take on that kind of heist movie.”
lineage (lineage):
Reservoir Dogs → The Big Combo.
Per the host's notes, The Big Combo and Corbucci's Django inspired the scene of a cop torturing a chair (sic).
“Joseph H. Lewis's filmed the big combo and Sergio Corbucci's 1966 spaghetti western Django inspired the scene”
fun, about
Craig Kilborn:
Kilborn appears in both aged-the-best and aged-the-worst: a thrill to see him, but visibly terrified, reading lines like Daily Show jokes; he gets the Al Martino (worst actor) award.
“He's in 2 scenes, and then he crashes in the closing credits.”
fun, about
Old School:
Whole-soundtrack rundown: Papered Up, Dust in the Wind, Hungry Like the Wolf, Sound of Silence, Total Eclipse of the Heart, Metallica; Whitesnake's 'Here I Go Again' is played four times.
fun, about
Old School 2 (unmade sequel script):
A 2006 sequel script, 'Old School Dose', about an aging frat on spring break, was written by Scott Armstrong and refused by Ferrell and Vaughn as too repetitive; Luke Wilson said in 2016 he would do it.
“Luke Wilson was game saying, I, of course, would do it at the drop of a hat.”
fun, about
Will Ferrell:
Ferrell really ran naked in the streaking sequence, horrifying locals at a 24-hour gym; the second part filmed during the Snoop performance and he needed a drink first.
“In the streaking sequence, Will Ferrell ran naked for real.”
fun, about
Patrick Cranshaw:
Blue was played by Patrick Cranshaw, a 50-year working actor who was the sheriff in all the Air Bud movies and died about four years after the film.
“although I will say he played the sheriff in all the Airbud movies.”
fun, about
Old School:
Half-ass internet research: the frat house is a real Pasadena house on Bushnell Avenue, also used in Back to the Future, Back to the Future Part II, and Teen Wolf. Bill stumps the others with a quiz.
fun, about
Luke Wilson:
Chris Ryan's hot take that Luke Wilson was in the Harrison Ford zone and could have been an action star becomes a running bit; the others call it among the worst takes ever and joke about a Luke Wilson Fugitive.
fun, about
Patrick Fischler:
Joey Pants Award: the Mad Men guy, Piven's henchman, is Patrick Fischler; they mention Patrick Adams, star of Suits, playing guitar during Dust in the Wind as an alternate.
“That's how you win the Joey Pants Award, and I have no idea what your name is.”
fun, about
Old School:
Bill's wedding-toast tangent: he wants a TV show or YouTube channel of brutal best-man speeches and tells of watching a wedding from a Torrey Pines hotel balcony with a bottle of wine.
fun, about
Old School:
Unanswerable question: who is the 2019 Craig Kilborn? Suggestions include Logan Paul, Joe Buck, Gus Johnson, Jim Nantz, Jeff Van Gundy, Trevor Noah, and Jalen Rose.
fun, about
Tombstone:
Most rewatchable scene candidates: the 'Hell's coming with me' scene and killing montage, the creek shootout, and Kilmer vs Biehn.
“That scene, followed by a montage of just them killing people.”
fun, about
George P. Cosmatos:
Running joke after the ghost-director story: someone claims credit for the role swap between Biehn and Rooker now that Cosmatos is dead.
“But I was the one who told him to switch roles with Michael Riffle, Michael Bean.”
fun, about
Taken:
Simmons's dad, a school superintendent near Boston, called action movies a 5 o'clocker: the 5 o'clock showing he caught on the way home to turn his brain off. Taken is called the quintessential 5 o'clocker.
“I would say taken is the quintessential 5 o'clocker.”
fun, about
Taken:
Simmons remembers the trailer, which was nearly the whole phone speech, airing between the second and third quarter of a Texans-Pats game. He asked: what is this, where can I see this.
“you're like what? What is this? Where can I see this?”
fun, about
Liam Neeson:
Pre-Taken Neeson was Schindler, Kinsey, Michael Collins, Woody Allen and Scorsese movies, so no one expected karate in Paris. His 6'4" frame matters more than you notice because films usually make everyone look the same size.
“This was not somebody we expected to see like doing karate in Paris.”
fun, about
Taken:
The perfect 5 o'clocker can be described in five words or less: Liam Neeson, daughter gets taken. Neeson's later films do the same: wilderness wolves, airplane, train conspiracy.
“I love action movies where you can describe the plot in 5 words or less.”
fun, about
Taken:
The movie's biggest lesson, per the hosts: don't let your daughter go to Europe unless you're there, and don't sit behind a desk or you'll forget the weight of a gun.
“And the biggest lesson of this movie is you get soft behind a desk.”
fun, about
Taken:
Aged worst: every non-American foreigner is a kidnapper, and two teenage girls lying to their parents to follow U2 around Europe in 2008, when the band was in their late 50s. Simmons's wife's counter: every young white woman loves U2.
fun, about
Taken:
Nitpick: every other kidnapped woman is a heroin zombie, but Kim is out of it only a little, then bounces back in two weeks, cheery, with no emotional distress, ready for a pop-star singing lesson.
fun, about
Liam Neeson:
Neeson expected Taken to go straight to video and spent four months in Paris learning karate. Neeson also says American parents thanked him and he tells them the danger was exaggerated and to travel more.
“Liam Neeson expected this movie to go straight to video.”
fun, about
Famke Janssen:
Trivia from internet research: Janssen, who played the incompetent ex-wife, now serves as a Goodwill Ambassador for the UN office on drugs and crime, inspired by Taken.
“She now serves as the Goodwill Ambassador for the United Nations office on drugs and crime.”
fun, about
Bill Simmons:
Simmons's worst parenting moment: while watching Kevin Durant at Texas, his toddler Zoe walked out the open front door at night, and a stranger in a stopped car brought her back.
“I'm like, I can't, but Kevin Durant has given it to AC.”
fun, about
Maggie Grace:
Reportedly trained by running coach Alberto Salazar to run like a younger girl. Both hosts note she runs like a toddler and acts nine at seventeen, though she was older than the role.
“she very clearly runs like a toddler in the movie.”
fun, about
Taken:
Body count debate: Brian kills 31 people, or 35. Apex Mountain goes to Neeson for becoming an action star in his mid-50s, and to Maggie Grace, for whom it never got better than this.
“You became an action movie and your action movie star in your mid-50s.”
fun, about
Taken:
Wrong-day question: the pop-star assassin picked the one night Brian guarded her, but the sheik, who just bought the wrong daughter, had the worst luck of all.
fun, about
Taken:
Nitpicks: Jean-Claude carries an unwrapped baguette; the kidnappers left the destroyed phone behind but locked the door; Neeson recognizes Marco's voice from two words, good luck.
“Can you really recognize a specific Albanian's voice just by having them repeat the words good luck?”
fun, about
Taken:
Best quotes besides the speech: it's a flesh wound; now's not the time for dick measuring, Stuart; and the line about forgetting the weight in the hand of a gun. The stepdad Stuart did nothing but supply the jet.
“Now's not the time for dick measuring, Stuart. Classic.”
fun, about
Taken:
The elaborate auction with red buttons probably does not exist as portrayed; Simmons jokes about a sex-slave auction draft guide. Movie auctions are always downstairs, as in Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom's dinosaur auction.
fun, about
Taken:
Who won the movie: Neeson, and the 5 o'clocker itself, which streaming services will now make and own, producing many more Taken-style movies, like Braven.
“That's that's way more of an insightful thing than I was expecting to happen on this taken podcast.”
fun, about
The Departed:
Casting what-ifs: Pitt (producer) was Damon's part, Liotta then Leary for Dignam, Pacino for Costello, De Niro for Sheen's part, Gibson for Baldwin's.
“Brad Pitt was supposed to be Damon's part dropped out, ended up producing the movie.”
fun, about
The Departed:
Worst-aged plot point winner: Damon texting a long message from inside his pocket on a flip phone, the triple crown of texting.
fun, about
Mark Boone Junior:
That Guy Award: Boggs from Shawshank, who led the sisters, plays Delahunt here; Simmons backs Kevin Corrigan as Costigan's cousin.
“Boggs from Shawshank has a key role in this movie.”
fun, about
Jack Nicholson:
Half-assed research: Nicholson reportedly refused to wear a Red Sox hat and banned Celtics gear on the set, and he and Ray Winstone did not get along.
“Nicholson refused to wear a Red Sox hat during the filming and banned all Celtic Cats on the set.”
fun, about
Martin Sheen:
Idea: keep Sheen's hangdog acting but cut to reaction shots when he talks and dub in the accent coach, as supposedly done on Ozark.
“I almost think they should have done this from Martin Sheen.”
fun, about
The Departed:
The film's biggest ridiculous plot points: Leo's roof plan, the invented Boston State House apartment view, the rat on the balcony.
“Why didn't anyone talk Scorsese out of the rat on the balcony at the tail end?”
fun, about
The Departed:
Best lines: cranberry juice, 'Maybe, maybe not', 'We all are. Let's act accordingly', and 'The world needs plenty of bartenders. 2 weeks with pay.'
“And then uh, the world needs plenty of bartenders.”
fun, about
Mark Wahlberg:
Rule of A-Listers: when someone gets punched, it evens out later. Damon punched Wahlberg, who got payback by shooting him at the end.
“the rule of A-Listers is that if somebody gets punched, you get to punt, there's it always ends even.”
fun, about
Saving Private Ryan:
Bill saw it in a full theater in Boston; people were shaking when the barrage calmed down, like witnessing a car crash.