Actor-host with a deep interest in how TV pilots evolve and how Michael Mann's style bleeds into everything. Loves Thief best of Mann's work. Jokes about being unhireable and the Netflix job that vanished.
Stances
Thief is his top Mann film
Pilots that feel like complete little movies are best
Defends the guest Dana Stevens against Twitter critics
Humor: Self-deprecating, long bits about his own failed career and his mother's British ancestry.
In their words
“I think you were going to think my rankings are crazy.” (1:07:55)
Loves the original Planet of the Apes franchise and Tim Burton, and was a fan of the 2001 hype as a kid. Can't stand empty studio filmmaking with no point of view. A sucker for childhood fandom and memorabilia (action figures, Lisa Marie).
Stances
Burton's Apes is the first time a beloved director failed him
The makeup is the only thing worth praising
The film does not have a point of view
Humor: Self-deprecating nerd-confessional anecdotes and riffs on childhood devotion.
In their words
“I was like, peak Griff moving nerd fanaticism.” (0:16:56)
“I had all the action figures before the movie came out.” (0:18:01)
Appears to love specific film trivia and the New York of the film; teases about being downtown. Lines identified with him are low-confidence because the transcript has no speaker labels.
Stances
Recalls opening-weekend box office from memory
Lives and grew up near the film's downtown locations (inferred)
Humor: Dry bits and running gags; becomes 'Downtown Griffey Nooms' under the guest's teasing.
In their words
“I have a TV pair of glasses now.” (0:31:40)
“This is the game where I try to recall from memory the box office the weekend the movie open.” (1:57:23)
Blank Check with Griffin & David: Flesh+Blood (host)
Loves Verhoeven and says RoboCop, Toy Story 2 and Rushmore rank among his favorites. Worries about the Weinstein-era toxicity in this film. Fascinated by effects-driven classicism and by the Hauer/Verhoeven split.
Stances
Flesh+Blood is anthropological and fascinating but joyless
Verhoeven is a technical classicist smuggling extreme content into Hollywood form
Rooted for RoboCop being a favorite
Humor: Rambling bits, tangents and character voices.
In their words
“I have never been more excited to talk about a film on this podcast.” (1:38:03)
Seems to love practical Spielberg staging and sound design, character actors with great faces, and nostalgic picks like Harriet the Spy. Cannot stand lazy sequels with no story, CGI overuse and nostalgia-canonized movies. Is a sucker for merchandise history and a good Austin Powers rewatch.
Stances
Lost World has a plot but no story and is bottom five Spielberg
Spielberg fails when he directs with one arm behind his back
Jurassic World is far worse
Humor: Escalating riffs and running bits, including bad impressions, nicknames for the producer and self-deprecating Goldblum failure.
In their words
“I've never been able to get there.” (0:00:55)
“Spielberg, I think, always fails when he tries to direct with one arm behind his back.” (0:32:33)
Loves ambitious, misguided, disastrous failures and admits a near sexual fetish for them; gravitates toward films that are naked and transparent about their director's ego. Cannot stand being unable to follow exposition but still wants to rewatch. A sucker for Shyamalan trivia, mythology worldbuilding critique, and the film-about-filmmaking read.
Stances
Lady in the Water is bad but fascinating and he likes it a lot
Watchability is not linked to quality
The film is Shyamalan's defensive reaction to critics after The Village
Shyamalan films are crisis-of-faith movies about family
Humor: Runs elaborate recurring bits and segments (Burger Report, IMDb trivia corner, rewrite station, comedy points) and self-deprecating panic-attack anecdotes.
In their words
“I admit that I have a near sexual fetish for super ambitious misguided failures.” (1:36:00)
“I like this movie a lot.” (1:35:51)
“And so watchability is a thing that I don't link to quality.” (1:49:31)
An actor and comedian who loves Robert Downey Jr. (Ally McBeal, Bowfinger) and loves cataloguing credits, billing, and who produced what. Can't stand hacky, symbolic drama like The Judge or misjudged comedies like Wedding Crashers and Fred Claus. A sucker for Shanghai Noon, Due Date, and Dax Shepard's character.
Stances
The Judge is treacle with a Dobkin comedy brain stuck in a prestige drama
Downey needs a real director like PTA or Raimi to surprise audiences
Duvall phoning it in beats De Niro or Pacino phoning it in
Humor: Long riffing metaphors (the bar mitzvah, the bagel), bodily-fluid gags, and self-deprecating asides about the show's tiny audience.
In their words
“It feels like the way that 13 year old boys have to act during their bar mitzvah” (0:56:38)
“Overbagled.” (0:28:55)
“Now you're stuck with us talking about the judge.” (0:03:31)
A deep pop-culture archaeologist who loves He-Man (especially Orko), Henson fantasy, Toy Story, Barbie, and the Lego movies, and who voiced Orko himself. He is skeptical of masculine man-defends-his-castle fantasy and of defensive, self-embarrassed jokes. He is a sucker for the Hudsucker Proxy, odd animation like Raggedy Ann & Andy, and word-of-mouth box office oddities.
Stances
The film gets the metatextual framework right but only gets 60% there
Toy movies are mostly bad except those not driven by a product
He-Man himself is his least favorite part of He-Man
Orko was unforgivably withheld
Humor: Nerdy, rapid-fire trivia and self-aware jokes about his own obsessions and merchandise hoarding.
In their words
“I have way too much He-Man merchandise.” (0:37:20)
“He's what a child thinks they would be as a grown up if they got really buff and strong.” (0:31:53)
“It is a movie entirely about the hula hoop.” (1:34:41)
Griffin is a long-time Cameron enthusiast and sincere blockbuster fan, someone who watches trailers on loop and gets choked up by them. He loves a clean engineered story and defends Avatar's sincerity. He dislikes meta, smirky franchise filmmaking.
Stances
Avatar's clunky human dialogue is deliberate
Franchise filmmaking is in a crisis point
Cameron has earned the benefit of the doubt
Humor: Affable and self-deprecating, with long enthusiastic riffs.
In their words
“I'm beyond excited.” (1:41:16)
“I truly get like emotionally choked up watching these trailers” (1:41:52)
A RoboCop devotee with posters, a bust and a bootleg toy in the office, who loves the Verhoeven original and its satire. He can't stand humorless grounded remakes that cut the jokes and the visor. A sucker for baseball giveaways at Mets games and Easter eggs done right.
Stances
The remake is an F and worse than Ouija
Satire and humor are what make the original
A black suit with no detail is a failure
Robocop should be dumb and funny, not cool
Humor: Rants and elaborate analogies, like the pizza series, delivered with escalating mock fury.
In their words
“I'm just gonna come out and say this is an F.” (0:55:03)
“Robocop one is like the best pizza you've ever had.” (1:29:28)
Loves Edge of Tomorrow as a masterpiece and Cruise's turn toward weird, low-status roles; likes Oblivion and Looper-era Blunt; likes Liman's chaos when it works. Can't stand Liman's later films like Road House.
Stances
Edge is a five-star film that improves on repeat
This is Cruise's pivot to the McQuarrie era
Alien design here and in Arrival is rare in the 2010s
Humor: Rapid riffs and movie-industry gossip, often wrapping a joke around a bit of trivia.
In their words
“Edge of tomorrow is 5 stars.” (0:07:20)
“It is truly a movie that gets better every time you watch it.” (0:07:25)
Loves cult comedy and genre curiosities such as Perfect Dark, Nirvana the Band, and weird bracket ideas like Psycho with Bates Motel. Enthusiastic about Peter Weir, Welles, and Del Toro. Dislikes long filmographies as a rule and bad Robocop sequels.
Stances
Wants more Peter Weir and Orson Welles
Votes against the long boy in every matchup
Grudge: RoboCop 2 should never put the mask back on
Humor: Builds committed running bits (pitmaster, Chip Smith) and doubles down until the room breaks.
A Lynch fan who loves Eraserhead as a pure raw expression of an outsider and calls it a fully arrived masterpiece. Loves the bit-work of generating nicknames and sorting debut films into buckets. Can't stand eggs and gets queasy at the chicken-carving idea.
Stances
Eraserhead is a masterpiece debut
It is coherent and autobiographical, not impenetrable
Debut films fall into rough draft, masterpiece and a third bucket
Humor: Escalating riffs and mock-pompous bits about nicknames, with self-aware jabs at the show.
In their words
“And this is him just doing the pure raw expression version of basically the same idea.” (0:26:19)
“Holy shit, who the fuck is this guy fully arrived masterpiece.” (0:16:34)
Runs the show and the episode dossier, and loves production-disaster minutiae, alternate titles and what-if histories. A sucker for 90s studio chaos and podcast in-jokes (jelly trilogy, Forky). Frustrated by a movie that is dark and muddy and has no scary monsters.
Stances
Eaters of the Dead was the better title
The version worth making is a smaller, pulpier one
Defends Mank and is a Fincher-series completist who ranks Zodiac first; loves the autobiographical reading of The Killer (Fincher mocking his own control). A sucker for Tilda Swinton performances and for details like the Smiths playlist. Uncertain about the Soderbergh-style streaming deal.
Stances
The Killer is about filmmaking and Fincher's own process
Fincher's Netflix deal is a bad fit for streaming
Mank is a celebration of a cantankerous artist and a self-portrait
Humor: Absurdist riffs, Letterboxd one-liners, and long tangents about fast food.
In their words
“My letterbox type clip on the movie is a psychological horror film about David Fincher imagining a reality where he's only allowed one take.” (0:22:44)
“It's fucking Sidney Lumette's making movies.” (1:24:53)
Likes the Hearst scenes and the performances, but is less sold on the movie than David and Sean. Comes at it as a wounded theatrical-experience loser, upset he never saw it in a theater.
Stances
Wishes he'd seen it in a theater
Likes the movie less than David
Wants more Fincher Tuppence Middleton
Humor: Self-deprecating, tangent-prone, and loves puns like 'Mancrodosing'.
In their words
“I cannot stop thinking about how angry I am that I never got to see this in a theater.” (0:20:21)
“I'm circling the island.” (2:27:36)
“Mancrodosing. Five minutes of manca day.” (0:22:58)
Carries the Fincher-completist trivia (the unmade projects, the casting what-ifs) and is deep in the Affleck and Reese Witherspoon career talk. Likes a franchise that earns its box office, and says he is all in on the Equalizer films. Can't stand a lazy cable-movie career move, and has lost patience with TV coverage on the show.
Stances
Fincher's unmade projects (Star Wars, 20,000 Leagues) are as interesting as the films
Wants Equalizer 3 to reach $103 million
Mindhunter was an episode he and David did not want to cover, because TV multiplies the work
Humor: Runs dead-pan bits at length (the Quibby and Reese 'Fierce Queens' routine) and keeps count of the numbers.
In their words
“Star Wars, episode seven.” (0:25:36)
“The Equalizer one made $101 million domestically.” (2:53:28)
“Dave and I really didn't want to do this episode.” (3:03:23)
Loves Fincher, comfort rewatches, commentary tracks and the research dossier; admires Rooney Mara and the film's gentleness at the margins. Can't stand the Swedish films' flatness or the Spider's Web reboot. A sucker for a good casting story and a recurring bit.
Stances
Dismisses the Swedish films as mid
calls this a movie that improves on rewatch
defends Fincher's reshoots as worth it.
Humor: Runs bits to exhaustion (string cheese, Clint Eastwood railroading, strangling-each-other energy) and teases Ben.
In their words
“I saw it Christmas time, 2011.” (0:25:28)
“I've been trying to watch most of these movies with commentaries.” (1:10:15)
“I just remember when the trailer for this came out” (0:34:01)
Loves Sorkin's dialogue and Fincher's rigor, and is the host with an actor's view of auditions and sets. Dismissive of Facebook as an experience now. A sucker for behind-the-scenes lore and the Blu-ray extras.
Stances
The script's pace is the movie
Fincher's many takes freed the actors
Humor: Rambling, self-aware riffs and character-voice bits.
In their words
“I pointedly remember that the they sent the script out, but for the auditions, it was just other Sorkin scenes.” (0:52:46)
“So this script hits and like every single person on set is like, I'm just trying to get any fucking part in the sofa work.” (0:51:41)
Became a Fincher believer at Zodiac and was all in for Button on the strength of that and the teaser. Reads Button as a deliberate anti-Gump about death rather than a failed weepy. Likes the film's passivity and its refusal to give catharsis.
Stances
Button is pointedly an anti-Gump
the film is more Fincher than its reputation allows
the hospital framing is the real film
Humor: Rapid-fire impressions and callback bits, including the running seven-but-looks-older line.
In their words
“But I think it's almost like pointedly an anti-gump.” (0:22:50)
“Whatever this guy's next movie is, this is now I'm most anticipated movie.” (0:17:37)
Their shows' recurring bits
Running bits, not opinions; a critic read aloud is cited, not present.
The Big Picture
Drafts: Hosts and guests draft films in rounds; every pick is a recommendation with an argument.
Hall of Fame: A star's or director's best, ranked and argued.
Countdowns: Ranked lists, top five or top ten.
Blank Check with Griffin & David
The box office game: Guessing the film's opening weekend and what it was up against.
The sung theme: "Blank Check with Griffin and David", sung; the transcriber garbles it.
Their claims
Showing 1,001–1,100 of 1,162 claims.
verdict (verdict):
Tommy Lee Jones → Ad Astra.
A 'sweater and a fretter': in space fretting while wearing a good sweater.
programming (programming):
Black Panther → Avengers: Infinity War.
Griffin loved Black Panther just before, then felt Infinity War was one Marvel movie too big.
“Having, you know, loved Black Panther, which came out right before this.”
verdict (verdict):
Avengers: Infinity War → Avengers: Endgame.
Griffin's frustration with Infinity War in theaters came from dreading what Endgame would do; having since loved Endgame he likes this film more on rewatch.
“I feel like a lot of my frustrations with this movie when I saw it were also based on me anticipating what I thought they were going to do with Endgame”
contrast (contrast):
Doctor Strange → Avengers: Infinity War.
Doctor Strange has the worst joke writing in any Marvel film, while the Avengers films do his comedy better.
“I think Doctor Strange also suffers from the worst joke writing in any Marvel film.”
lineage (lineage):
Jack Kirby → Avengers: Infinity War.
Kirby's cosmic creations at Marvel, Galactus and the Silver Surfer, are the ancestors of this material.
“he creates galactus and silver surf and all these parrots”
what-if (what-if):
Avengers: Infinity War → Avengers: Endgame.
Mantis proves Thanos can be mentally manipulated, so Endgame should have used Wanda against him.
“you have a very powerful mental manipulator in Wanda, and she doesn't do it.”
what-if (what-if):
Avengers: Infinity War → Avengers: Endgame.
Would have preferred Wanda going into Thanos's head in Endgame, a Mysterio-style nightmare sequence.
“I would have enjoyed her more going into his head”
contrast (contrast):
Avengers: Infinity War → Cobweb.
The movie is a glove thriller the way The Cobweb is a drape drama: a huge story about accessories.
“So they were filming this movie at the same time in Cleveland, Ohio, and the suburbs outside of Cleveland that we were filming a motion picture called Draft Day.”
what-if (what-if):
Thor: The Dark World → Patty Jenkins.
The film fired original director Patty Jenkins and replaced her with Game of Thrones TV director Alan Taylor.
contrast (contrast):
Thor: Ragnarok → Thor: The Dark World.
Ragnarok flushes nearly all the mythos out of Thor other than Thor and Loki, which the speakers dislike.
“And they flush almost everything out of the mythos other than Thorn Loke.”
craft (craft):
Michael Giacchino → Thor: The Dark World.
The speakers ask whether The Dark World is the first Marvel film to open with the Giacchino Marvel Studios fanfare.
craft (craft):
Thor: The Dark World → Thor.
The Dark World goes further in both directions on design (older looks plus more tech) while Branagh's Thor split the difference in a murky middle.
“I think, like, Branagh is splitting the difference too hard and staying in a weird murky middle ground.”
lineage (lineage):
Thor: The Dark World → The Avengers.
The Dark World is the correction to Joss Whedon cracking Loki: he becomes co-lead, Thor 1A to Loki 1B.
“This is the correction to Joss Whedon cracking Loki, where they're like, we get it now.”
theme (theme):
Thor: The Dark World → Crazy Rich Asians.
The fish-out-of-water romance with a world of high society and Frigga as the mother echoes Crazy Rich Asians.
“Well, because this is also her kind of crazy rich Asians where it's like, this is a world that I don't know.”
what-if (what-if):
Thor: The Dark World → Patty Jenkins.
What Jenkins wanted to make was a romance first and foremost, and the romantic comedy half of the finished film is read as that movie surviving.
“She kept on saying she really wants to make a romance 1st and foremost.”
career (career):
Stellan Skarsgard → Thor: The Dark World.
Skarsgard is naked in more movies than clothed; he must have negotiated a nude scene in his Marvel deal.
“Scott Scarsgard is naked in more movies than he's clothed.”
career (career):
Alan Taylor → Boardwalk Empire.
Taylor has long been a top HBO director (Boardwalk, Sopranos, Game of Thrones) before moving to blockbusters, and was tapped for the Sopranos prequel.
“Because he's sort of been a top HBO director for a long time.”
industry (industry):
Thor: The Dark World → Idris Elba.
Heimdall is where it shows Elba is too famous for the role; the franchise gives him an action scene to keep him.
“Idris Elba is officially too famous for this role.”
what-if (what-if):
Black Panther → Idris Elba.
Elba, stuck as Heimdall, could have played the Forest Whitaker part or the Daniel Kaluuya part in Black Panther.
career (career):
Idris Elba → The Wire.
Elba got very famous through The Wire's late-arriving HBO Go audience, so he is now too big for Heimdall's small part.
“The wire got really big around this time because of HBO Go.”
craft (craft):
Thor: The Dark World → Doctor Strange.
Doctor Strange does tactile magic well, with sparks, whereas Thor's magic read as CGI doodles elsewhere; the Dark World's has texture.
“I think Doctor Strange does really well, but they make magic look tactile, which is hard to do.”
contrast (contrast):
Thor: The Dark World → Black Panther.
Black Panther does Thor-style city-under-attack better than Asgard, which never reads as a city or a planet.
“You never really understand if Asgard is a city or a planet.”
industry (industry):
Christopher Eccleston → The Story of G.I. Joe.
Eccleston jumped in at the last second here as he did for G.I. Joe's Destro, replacing the originally cast Mads Mikkelsen.
“This was supposed to be Mads, and then it became Eccleston.”
industry (industry):
Joshua Dallas → Once Upon a Time.
Joshua Dallas played Fandral in Thor but could not return because Once Upon a Time was renewed, bringing Levi back.
“Then they hire Joshua Dallas. Then he can't come back for this because once upon a time gets renewed.”
people (people):
Jason X → David Cronenberg.
Cronenberg is claimed to appear in Jason X and is recommended as an actor in the Canadian film Last Night.
industry (industry):
Your Name → Marc Webb.
Marc Webb is directing an American Your Name remake about Native American culture; the speakers say it's a bad idea.
“Mark Webb is directing an American remake of your name.”
verdict (verdict):
Thor: The Dark World → Doctor Strange.
Doctor Strange fails on comedy, trying too hard to make Strange like Tony Stark; they should have owned being po-faced like this earnest film.
“That movie conclusively fails on the comedy front.”
people (people):
Thor: The Dark World → Don Payne.
Don Payne wrote the original draft, his last script; the portal-fight gimmick likely came from his comedy and Simpsons background.
“I wouldn't be surprised if this was a thing that Don Payne brought in.”
craft (craft):
Thor: The Dark World → The Fate of the Furious.
The London flat where Thor and Jane land looks like the penthouse where the Fast & Furious gang drinks Budweisers at the end of Fate.
“It sort of looks like the flat where they Fast and Furious gang gathers at the end of fate.”
what-if (what-if):
Benicio del Toro → Avengers: Endgame.
They hope Endgame has Benicio del Toro's Collector and Jeff Goldblum's Grandmaster together as the Space Brothers.
“If Endgame doesn't have Space Necio and Jeff Spaceblum together as the Space Brothers.”
people (people):
Ender's Game → Harrison Ford.
The box office game answer is Ender's Game with Harrison Ford in a supporting role and Gavin Hood directing.
career (career):
Joss Whedon → Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
Speaker's Buffy/Firefly fandom is why Whedon's exposition and Fury's crackling lines register as his signature.
“I'm still like a big Buffy fan, a big old-fashioned Wii. I love Firefly, right?”
people (people):
Robert Downey Jr. → Joss Whedon.
Downey pushed to be the star of the team movie in his first meeting with Whedon, then admitted he was wrong.
“I know you think you're making a team movie, but I'm the big star.”
career (career):
Mark Ruffalo → 13 Going on 30.
After his illness he went for rom-com leads and got stuck as the nice pushover, the Bill Pullman of rom-coms.
“At this point, it's like he's becoming like the Bill Pullman of rom-coms.”
career (career):
Mark Ruffalo → Sympathy for Delicious.
His directorial debut, a low point (hosts disagree on degree) when he claimed he might quit acting.
career (career):
Mark Ruffalo → The Kids Are All Right.
A role of under 5 working days brought his first Oscar nomination and the comeback, then Shutter Island with Scorsese.
“I believe he worked less than 5 days on that film.”
people (people):
Samuel L. Jackson → Kong: Skull Island.
Jackson holding court about director Jordan Vogt-Roberts as an amateur, illustrating Jackson's professionalism standard.
“he was loudly holding court over what a fucking disaster Jordan Vote Roberts was on Kong Skull Island.”
career (career):
Samuel L. Jackson → Jungle Fever.
Jackson used his real crack addiction in Jungle Fever, which made his career and earned a first-ever supporting prize at Cannes.
“Right, which is the 1st time that the con film festival is ever given out a supporting award.”
programming (programming):
Kevin Feige → Inhumans (announced film).
Feige's Phase 3 keynote, staged like an Apple unveiling, announced Captain Marvel, Boseman, and a joke 'Inhumans movie with Vin Diesel'.
“Feige doing that weird keynote address where he was doing like his Steve Jobs impression and announcing the phase 3 films.”
programming (programming):
The Avengers → Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D..
Coulson was brought back for the TV show but kept out of the movies, signaling the TV show is only loosely connected.
“you can be in the TV show, like, because we need, you know, a star for the show”
craft (craft):
The Avengers → Idiocracy.
Black Widow's origin tangent: Tony's rushed Iron Man 2 pitch reminded Griffin of the endless slides gag in Idiocracy.
“Do you know what one of my favorite jokes in the history of movies is?”
fun, about
Bob Fosse:
Fosse died in Verdon's arms at an intersection in Washington DC during a Sweet Charity revival; friends dined on his tab per his will; a producer's last message from Bobby was about a script.
“All his friends go out to dinner on his tab, which was specified in his will.”
fun, about
Box office week:
Nov 1983 chart: Big Chill, Never Say Never Again, Richard Pryor Here and Now, Deal of the Century (dropped from #1), All the Right Moves; Return of the Jedi at 18.
“Number 5 of the box office is an early film from a big star.”
fun, about
Cabaret:
Cabaret beat The Godfather for best director; to Julie it keeps getting more relevant, with the distorted Nazis in the brass at the end.
fun, about
Kubrick miniseries:
Next is Kubrick, starting with Fear and Desire and Killer's Kiss in one episode; Julie asks them to think of Star 80 when discussing Clockwork Orange.
“But yeah, 1st our 1st cubric episode is killer kiss and fear and desire.”
fun, about
An Angel at My Table:
Griffin's best-line story: the film has no quotes page, so he scrubbed to the scene for the line about longing to be as full of secrets as she seemed to be.
“I long to be as full of secrets as she seemed to be”
fun, about
The Last Emperor:
Campion's fear of attachment: she loved the middle kid in The Last Emperor and was mad when he grew up, so she timed Angel's actor switches for happy moments.
“I was basically afraid like, oh, you're gonna love one of them and you're gonna, you know, miss them when they're gone.”
fun, about
Moonlight:
Griffin admits he was so Moonlight-pilled he assumed Kerry Fox would be the entire third part, and only 30 minutes into part two realized she had arrived.
“I was so like moonlight pilled watching this movie”
fun, about
An Angel at My Table:
The photograph sequence: a sister missing from the photo, her death, then the photo restored with an arm added; Janet watches and listens, a writer in the making.
“the photographer did this weird thing where he cut her out of this photo and made her her own photo and then added her arm there.”
fun, about
Jane Campion:
Campion on New Zealand: the first European painters' pictures were thought exaggerated because of the clear air and black shadows.
fun, about
An Angel at My Table:
Fancy free, said by a boarding-house man warning her about men, becomes Griffin's life-changing discovery and a debate about whether it means single.
fun, about
Starman marketing:
Studio feared the John Carpenter's name would mislabel it as horror; market research said it just read as a stamp of quality, the most validating thing Carpenter heard to that point.
fun, about
Starman development:
Directors who passed or left: Badham, Adrian Lyne, Tony Scott, Mark Rydell, Peter Hyams; everyone who turned it down made a hit.
fun, about
Michael Douglas / Starman:
Douglas developed Starman as his own star vehicle; they all agree he would have been a disaster in the alien role, a cad and slimeball.
“Michael Douglas was the one who originally developed this movie because he wants a star in it and that would have been a disaster.”
fun, about
Baz Luhrmann:
Griffin saw Luhrmann in Forbidden Planet buying a Wonder Woman umbrella, looking at comics 'like he was Starman, tilting his entire head'.
“And he walked around the store for like 20 minutes looking at comic books like he was Starman”
fun, about
Karen Allen:
Allen turned down the offer at first: a human actor playing an alien, no chemistry for 75 percent of the film; they talked her in.
“pointedly has to spend 75% of the running time having no chemistry with the only person she shares scenes with.”
fun, about
Starman casting:
Kevin Bacon (Carpenter's Christine pick who took Footloose) nearly played Starman; Tom Cruise was courted too but did Legend.
“Carpenter wanted him for Christine and he chose Footloose instead.”
fun, about
Starman transformation:
The baby-to-man transformation by Winston, Baker and Smith; Bridges claimed it would be one unbroken shot; they cut to her reactions.
“You watch a baby turn into like an adult me and it's all in one unbroken shot.”
fun, about
Starman cinematography:
Not shot by Dean Cundy: Carpenter quote says they had a parting of the ways and would need to clear up attitude problems before working again.
fun, about
Starman scene to see:
Diner scene: she orders deviled egg sandwich and pie; he asks why you can't eat the pie first and she says 'I don't know. That's just the way things.'
fun, about
Hank the Cow Dog:
Jeff Nichols is making a scripted children's podcast starring Matthew McConaughey as Hank the Cow Dog; Griffin reads the cast list.
“5 episodes of the scripted children's podcast, Hank the Cow Dog”
fun, about
Eastwood and Reynolds:
Studio exec shredded both in a meeting; Reynolds grinned: 'I can learn how to act. What are you going to do with that Adam's apple?'
“Every else was like, yeah, but I can learn how to act.”
fun, about
Jason Reitman / Ghostbusters: Afterlife:
The hosts recount Reitman's origin story for Afterlife (a girl in a cornfield with a proton pack) and mock it.
“And then one day I was suddenly just struck with this image of a little girl standing in the middle of a cornfield wearing a proton pack”
fun, about
Britney Spears:
Britney's 'Toxic' is declared the objective best Britney song, and David burned a CD with it on twenty times; they pitch a Nausicaä remix with spores.
fun, about
Toxic Crusaders:
An intern at Troma pitched a Toxic Crusaders cartoon revival to Adult Swim; after six months in filing cabinets he found cels and audio tracks but never the contracts.
“I could never find the contracts to be able to do it.”
fun, about
Donkey Kong:
Nintendo almost got sued by Universal over Donkey Kong; someone checked and found nobody had registered King Kong, so Nintendo got the Donkey Kong trademark first.
fun, about
Nausicaä cutout bugs:
For most of the film the big bugs are cutout animation: four pieces of paper compressed like an accordion, essentially two-dimensional stop motion, which gives them an alien look.
“the big bugs are like 4 different pieces of paper that they compress and expand like an accordion.”
fun, about
Nausicaä production:
Animators on Nausicaä were paid per frame, so the film is full of cheats like cutout animation for the big bugs and layered cels where only a hand moves, and Griffin loves seeing the seams.
fun, about
Nausicaä plot confusion:
Both hosts confess the three-faction setup (Valley, Tolmekians, Pejite) is hard to follow; one watched it over four or five hours with breaks and regretted not using the dub.
“I feel like I spent 4 or 5 hours watching this movie because I kept on taking breaks to try to like reorient myself.”
fun, about
Nausicaä's dub:
The Disney dub is a time capsule: Alison Lohman, Patrick Stewart, Shia LaBeouf just before Transformers; Griffin cannot stop hearing Picard under Yupa.
fun, about
Sundance 2019:
Griffin leaned over to his seatmate after The Farewell premiere and called it incredible, which he says he never does at festivals, then started crying hours later thinking about the final shot.
fun, about
Toy Story 4:
The moment that nearly makes Griffin cry is the opening, with the toys huddled in a box under a car in the rain, selling how small and powerless they are.
“The moment that makes me come closest to crying in Toy Story 4 is the opening.”
fun, about
Princess Mononoke / Toshio Suzuki:
When Weinstein wanted cuts, Suzuki mailed him a katana with a note reading 'no cuts'; the hosts treat it as the most badass thing they have heard.
“He mailed him a massive, incredibly sharp and dangerous samurai sword with a note that just said, no cuts.”
fun, about
Mary Poppins Returns:
Griffin says Rob Marshall is a great choreographer who undermines it by cutting away from the lamplighter dance number, while Meryl Streep says yes to anything he asks.
fun, about
Nausicaä's ending:
Miyazaki told an interviewer he did not want Nausicaä to look like a religious figure but saw the last shot read as a religious painting; catharsis was something he never wanted to do again.
“I didn't intend her to make her Joan of Arc. And I want to get rid of any religious undertone.”
fun, about
The Lion King:
Griffin finds the photorealism makes Timon and Pumbaa eating bugs feel cruel since the bugs visibly act scared and have no faces.
“I was like, this movie doesn't understand that this is fucked up now.”
fun, about
Hayao Miyazaki:
A notorious 1984 interview: Miyazaki explains Nausicaä's large chest as there so she can embrace dying people and make them feel secure.
“I think her buzzing needs to be large, so she can embrace all those old men and the women who are in the castle when they're dying.”
fun, about
Keanu Reeves:
Asked by Colbert what happens when we die, Keanu answered that the ones who love us will miss us dearly, then went straight to a John Wick plug.
fun, about
Griffin Newman:
At sleepaway camp he taped newspaper Apes ads to his bunk wall, then learned from counselors the night before his dad signed him out that it was awful.
“Every day I would confiscate the newspapers from the counselors and cut out the ads for Plan of the Apes and tape them to my bunk wall.”
fun, about
Paul Verhoeven:
Seeing a Bosch painting with a man taking a dump in the background made young Verhoeven say that was the art he wanted to make.
“there was a man leaning against a shed taking a shit.”
fun, about
Emmanuel Lubezki:
Griffin spotted three-time Oscar-winning cinematographer Emmanuel Lubezki eating a burger with his parents at Apple Pan in Los Angeles, and calls him Marty rather than Chivo.
“Three time, a historic and historic, three time Academy Award winner for best cinematography, consecutive awards. Emmanuel Labesky.”
fun, about
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest:
Griffin spent a month arguing at an NYU summer program that Pirates 2 made no sense, then realized years later he had slept through 15 minutes of it.
“I realized 2 years later when I saw it on cable that I'd fallen asleep for 15 minutes”
fun, about
Lady in the Water:
Other kids at Griffin's NYU summer program saw it and came back to the cafeteria yelling snarf, snarf, snarf, mocking the film.
“At the cafeteria, they were going snarf, snarf, snarf, snarf.”
fun, about
Lady in the Water:
Shyamalan demanded the set be within 45 minutes of his Pennsylvania home and timed the trip at 43 minutes; the whole apartment complex and pool were built for the film at a Levittown warehouse site.
“Shamalan demanded that the set be within 45 minutes of his Pennsylvania home.”
fun, about
Lady in the Water:
An IMDb trivia fact claims 9 across could not touch 27 down in the crossword Mr. Dury does, since it would need to be 19 letters long.
“It would have to be at least 19 layers long to do so.”
fun, about
Cindy Cheung:
Per trivia, her agent demanded one million dollars for her role while Shyamalan wanted to pay SAG minimum of 65,000; they settled at 100,000.
fun, about
Lady in the Water:
Shyamalan's wish list for supporting roles reportedly included Pacino, De Niro, Gene Wilder, Sidney Poitier, Vince Vaughn, Alec Baldwin and more, all men.
fun, about
Paul Giamatti:
The milk mustache scene: Giamatti rolls on a couch with milk on his beard to seem innocent for the grandmother, and the amount of milk changes between cuts.
“the amount of milk on his mustache changes per every time they cut”
fun, about
Bob Balaban:
Balaban's critic, the next victim, delivers a meta monologue noting that in a movie with no explicit content they will not actually show someone murdered on camera.
“They will not actually let someone be murdered on camera.”
fun, about
The Buried Secret of M. Night Shyamalan:
Griffin had an acting job in the mockumentary that was almost entirely cut out, and cashed a 150 dollar check he was told was SAG minimum.
“That was my 1st acting job that was almost entirely cut out.”
fun, about
The Man Who Heard Voices:
The book on the making of the film records that Shyamalan left Disney when Nina Jacobson took her son to a party instead of reading the script he had couriered to her.
“Shamlon had it personally couriered to her and had insult to injury.”
fun, about
Inception:
Griffin's read: Inception as Nolan's movie about filmmaking, which maps to Lady in the Water, with a team of specialized roles saving a woman named Story.
“This is a movie in which a woman whose name is story is like has to be saved and protected and carried off into the sky by a whole team of people”
fun, about
Robert Downey Jr.:
His first on-screen line in his father's film Pound, at four or five, was a crude one about body hair, which says a lot about the household.
“And his 1st line is, what, you don't think I got hair on my balls?”
fun, about
Ally McBeal:
Downey's fourth-season arrival was hailed as the best television performance ever; he won a Golden Globe, got an Emmy nomination, then was fired for not showing up.
“Yeah, he doesn't show up or whatever, and yeah, they fire him.”
fun, about
Susan Downey:
The legend: on the Gothika set Susan asked Downey why he was not the biggest star in the world, and made it her life's mission to make him one.
fun, about
Iron Man:
A host recalls his father's reaction to Downey being cast as Iron Man: scraping the bottom of the barrel, the movie is a predetermined flop.
“they're really scraping the bottom of the barrel, huh?”
fun, about
Iron Man:
Downey made the least money of any actor on the first film (Terrence Howard got three times as much), then wanted a proportionate raise for the second.
fun, about
Due Date:
Todd Phillips said he made Due Date to see how far he could push Downey's oddness and prickliness before audiences stopped liking him. One host calls the film a secret masterpiece.
fun, about
The Judge:
Three minutes in, a supposedly serious drama opens with Downey peeing on David Krumholtz at a urinal, complete with an insert shot of urine on polished shoes. The hosts treat this as the first sign the director cannot stop being a Dobkin comedy director.
“Minute 3 of the movie, it's a drama. Rardine Jr., an adult male is peeing on another adult male”
fun, about
The Judge (trailer):
The trailer bills Downey, Duvall, Farmiga and D'Onofrio as Academy Award nominees or winners, leaving Billy Bob Thornton the only name with an empty title card.
“There are 5 names and he's the only one who gets nothing. His title card looks so naked.”
fun, about
Dax Shepard:
His Judge character is so afraid of cross-examining in court that he vomits before each appearance, and one host calls him the best character in the film.
“He's a man with such intense stage fight when it comes to performing in chlorate that he vomits extensively every time before.”
fun, about
Robert Duvall:
Duvall is such a classic Duvall that the hosts would rather see a movie of him as a Judge Judy-style town judge, even a reality show.
“I would go show up to watch him, dude. I would watch the reality show.”
fun, about
David Dobkin:
Bar mitzvah analogy: Dobkin plays it solemn like a 13-year-old reading from the Torah to prove he is a man, then slips back into pee jokes at the party.
“It feels like the way that 13 year old boys have to act during their bar mitzvah, during the actual service in the Torah portion where they really have to put on the ears that they are now a man.”
fun, about
The Judge:
The shower scene: Downey hoses a soiled Duvall down with a handheld shower head, and the only shot they can't forget is the stained legs and the drain.
“you just see shit running down his legs down the drain.”
fun, about
The Judge:
The Judge was Griffin's SAG screener and David's last Oscar-year completism watch; a 'Judging the Judge' sequel joke runs through the intro and outro.
fun, about
Oz the Great and Powerful:
Griffin claims Zach Braff is funny in it as a porcelain monkey in a bellhop uniform; David refuses to give him that one.
fun, about
Dick (1999) weekend:
The first weekend of August 1999 was Griffin's favorite box office weekend: Iron Giant, Mystery Men, and Dick all bombed while The Sixth Sense won; Dick opened outside the top ten.
“It is a dick, which opened outside of the top 10.”